preyed
guess what, I'm a loser and this is my od entry b/c I'm not going to write another one.
Things are crap. I know, I complain a lot but fuck it. I can't be happy all the time and I'm not. In fact, I'm rarely ever happy anymore.
My dad is going to move out of country (either back to Germany or to Canada with another one of his internet whores) as soon as I graduate. Yeah, he told me a lot this morning right before school. Sweet, eh? Yeah, he told me this morning that he isn't too fond of me and that he wants to sell the house ASAP and if it doesn't sell right away the IRS is going to take it and he will declare bankruptcy...yea? He said that I need to get a job like today and I told him that I would fly to Wal-Mart after school and ask if they'd hire me seeing as I don't have any mode of transportation, but I can fly! He told me, tough luck, I need to find a job because he is not going to supply anything for me anymore; after all, I'm a burden not a daughter, right?? I'm so scared though. What am I supposed to do??? I'm going to beg the people at the car wash place for a job since it won't be too hard to walk there since it's only a few miles away, but what if they don't give me one? I will have no way to get money for a car, or to rent something when my dad leaves me, and the most important thing of all, I won't have any money for college. Why does everything have to go to hell all the time? I think I'm going to sell my body for college money, not that I'd get much, hahaha.
I'm going to talk to the counselor either tomorrow or whenever I have a chance because I need to get emancipated from my dad right away.
It's not just the fact that I am going to have nothing to start out with; I have no family whatsoever to count on. My sister is somewhere in the military now, my brother is in the covenant house, and my dad and Stephen are going to be in some other country, not that he'd help me anyway. God, I need out so bad. I don't know what to do...I'm so lost right now. My stomach has been in knots all day and my heart feels like it weighs a billion pounds; I'm so stressed, nervous, and upset all at once and this just plain sucks! I hate feeling worthless and desperate, I hate it.
Am I a magnet or what?
Things are crap. I know, I complain a lot but fuck it. I can't be happy all the time and I'm not. In fact, I'm rarely ever happy anymore.
My dad is going to move out of country (either back to Germany or to Canada with another one of his internet whores) as soon as I graduate. Yeah, he told me a lot this morning right before school. Sweet, eh? Yeah, he told me this morning that he isn't too fond of me and that he wants to sell the house ASAP and if it doesn't sell right away the IRS is going to take it and he will declare bankruptcy...yea? He said that I need to get a job like today and I told him that I would fly to Wal-Mart after school and ask if they'd hire me seeing as I don't have any mode of transportation, but I can fly! He told me, tough luck, I need to find a job because he is not going to supply anything for me anymore; after all, I'm a burden not a daughter, right?? I'm so scared though. What am I supposed to do??? I'm going to beg the people at the car wash place for a job since it won't be too hard to walk there since it's only a few miles away, but what if they don't give me one? I will have no way to get money for a car, or to rent something when my dad leaves me, and the most important thing of all, I won't have any money for college. Why does everything have to go to hell all the time? I think I'm going to sell my body for college money, not that I'd get much, hahaha.
I'm going to talk to the counselor either tomorrow or whenever I have a chance because I need to get emancipated from my dad right away.
It's not just the fact that I am going to have nothing to start out with; I have no family whatsoever to count on. My sister is somewhere in the military now, my brother is in the covenant house, and my dad and Stephen are going to be in some other country, not that he'd help me anyway. God, I need out so bad. I don't know what to do...I'm so lost right now. My stomach has been in knots all day and my heart feels like it weighs a billion pounds; I'm so stressed, nervous, and upset all at once and this just plain sucks! I hate feeling worthless and desperate, I hate it.
Am I a magnet or what?