Slowly Fading
This was inspired by Simple Plan's song, Untitled.
The lyrics belong to Blink-182 in the form of Adam's Song.
I'm not sure of you'll like this one too much, but I'll give it a shot. I also dont know if I like the way it turned out. Let me know what you think.
Slowly Fading
Slumped against the cheesy flowered wallpaper in the bathroom of the hotel room my three best friends and I were sharing, I watched as yet another drop of blood oozed out of my arm and hit the floor with a light plink. Satisfied with my handiwork, I dropped my knife letting it tumble down my folded legs where it stuck itself in my ankle before triumphantly clattering to the floor leaving a gaping wound behind. As more blood flowed out of my leg I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. Fuck! It hurts so much, I cant stand the pain. I try to open my eyes but the fluorescent bulbs light the room all too well and blind me so I immediately shut them again. Why? Why did we have to decide to go on this stupid road trip in the first place? Why didn’t anyone love me? Why did my life have to be this way? Oh well, it wont matter much longer, I’ll be dead before too long. Hopefully. After what seems like hours of listening to my own breathing and thinking of the times when I was actually happy and didn’t have to plaster on a fake smile and pretend I was to please my friends and family, I pass out. Finally, peace at last. I’m suddenly brought back into what little consciousness I have left when I hear someone shriek loudly, well, that lasted long. My only guess is that someone has found what’s left of my broken body lying in a pool of my own blood. Someone picks up my wrists and tries to stop the bleeding, but they’re already much too late. Feeling very weak and dizzy I try to tell them to stop and just let me die peacefully. But no one hears me. Someone else kneels over me and picks my head up cradling it in their lap asking me why, wanting an explanation. But I’m hanging by my last thread of life and even I don't know why anymore. I ignore the commotion quickly going hazy around me and concentrate my last thoughts on good times. When I was 16, those were the good times, nothing seemed to matter and life was sweet. I try to form a smile on my lips as the noise around me fades and I feel no more.
“Shel! Is she going to be ok?!” I scream frantically.
“No, Eddie, she wanted this, I know it, I can feel it.” Shelly checked Jen’s pulse again then looked up at me from the floor with a frown “She‘s gone Ed, I‘m sorry.”
“You‘re right Shelly, it is what she wanted,” Tom spoke from the doorway, holding a notebook in his hands. “look.” He leaned over, placed a hand on Shelly’s shoulder and showed her a page “It‘s her notebook, she left it on her bed open to this page, read it.”
Shelly read aloud:
"I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
I never conquered, rarely came
But tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone"
At this Shelly got up and pulled me into a strong, much-needed hug. “I’m sorry Eddie”
“No, I'm the one who ought to be sorry. I never got the nerve to tell her...” I sighed, tears now running down my cheeks “...to tell her that...I love her. And now, now I'll never have the chance”
The lyrics belong to Blink-182 in the form of Adam's Song.
I'm not sure of you'll like this one too much, but I'll give it a shot. I also dont know if I like the way it turned out. Let me know what you think.
Slowly Fading
Slumped against the cheesy flowered wallpaper in the bathroom of the hotel room my three best friends and I were sharing, I watched as yet another drop of blood oozed out of my arm and hit the floor with a light plink. Satisfied with my handiwork, I dropped my knife letting it tumble down my folded legs where it stuck itself in my ankle before triumphantly clattering to the floor leaving a gaping wound behind. As more blood flowed out of my leg I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. Fuck! It hurts so much, I cant stand the pain. I try to open my eyes but the fluorescent bulbs light the room all too well and blind me so I immediately shut them again. Why? Why did we have to decide to go on this stupid road trip in the first place? Why didn’t anyone love me? Why did my life have to be this way? Oh well, it wont matter much longer, I’ll be dead before too long. Hopefully. After what seems like hours of listening to my own breathing and thinking of the times when I was actually happy and didn’t have to plaster on a fake smile and pretend I was to please my friends and family, I pass out. Finally, peace at last. I’m suddenly brought back into what little consciousness I have left when I hear someone shriek loudly, well, that lasted long. My only guess is that someone has found what’s left of my broken body lying in a pool of my own blood. Someone picks up my wrists and tries to stop the bleeding, but they’re already much too late. Feeling very weak and dizzy I try to tell them to stop and just let me die peacefully. But no one hears me. Someone else kneels over me and picks my head up cradling it in their lap asking me why, wanting an explanation. But I’m hanging by my last thread of life and even I don't know why anymore. I ignore the commotion quickly going hazy around me and concentrate my last thoughts on good times. When I was 16, those were the good times, nothing seemed to matter and life was sweet. I try to form a smile on my lips as the noise around me fades and I feel no more.
“Shel! Is she going to be ok?!” I scream frantically.
“No, Eddie, she wanted this, I know it, I can feel it.” Shelly checked Jen’s pulse again then looked up at me from the floor with a frown “She‘s gone Ed, I‘m sorry.”
“You‘re right Shelly, it is what she wanted,” Tom spoke from the doorway, holding a notebook in his hands. “look.” He leaned over, placed a hand on Shelly’s shoulder and showed her a page “It‘s her notebook, she left it on her bed open to this page, read it.”
Shelly read aloud:
"I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known?
I trace the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never step foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault
I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
I never conquered, rarely came
But tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I've survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone"
At this Shelly got up and pulled me into a strong, much-needed hug. “I’m sorry Eddie”
“No, I'm the one who ought to be sorry. I never got the nerve to tell her...” I sighed, tears now running down my cheeks “...to tell her that...I love her. And now, now I'll never have the chance”