Jul 25, 2006 12:47
Oh my God! Panera Bread just hired me for $7.00 an hour. I think Kim will be unhappy about that, but to the best of my knowledge she can still go and apply. I don't know. I'm not going to feel too bad about it. I do feel bad for leaving the market though. It's just that I can't work some 15 hours a week at $5.50 an hour.
I couldn't sleep last night. I was too busy thinking. I was thinking about Drew. I think talking to Jeff made me miss him. I think I'm just now trying to get over it. I tried sleeping with other people. I tried dating other people. It just never worked. Honestly, sleeping with Stoney made me feel hollow inside. I tried to convince myself that it made me happy so much. It really didn't. It made me feel terrible. It was a bad move. I can't describe to you the feeling I had afterwards. I've never been one to be satsified with purely carnal pleasures. I swear I felt my heart and spirit being sucked dry of anything that was pure and good. I can't remember a time in my life in which I felt more alone, cold, shallow, and empty. Oh well...I can't change what I've done. I can only look to the future which right now is seeming pretty fucking peachy.
School is starting back, I have a new job, my car is now working, and so is my phone. I'm single and the world is mine. I have finally learned to be happy with myself. I just have a few self-esteem issues to work through and I'll be set. Life is so freaking awesome these days.
I just have to crack down and write after work. These essays aren't going to write themselves.
I'm so happy though. My life isn't perfect, but slowly it's getting better. I'm so overjoyed.
Much Love
Lisa