1st impressions are always important
The first time I met Matt I was drunk as hell and I confessed to him all of my problems and inner conflicts. Hell of a way to bring about a friendship.
The first time I met The COW (Matt) I lit up a cigarette in his car not even thinking about the fact that he might not want me to be smoking in the car.
The first time I met Stephan I was really stoned and I named the white fuzz in between his toes. Amber also made him kiss me. That was so long ago....
The first time Stoney and I met I was his shopping cart and he was my back up drummer at Kareoke. Who could have fortold all of that?
The first time I met Dustin Michael had just ditched me at the mall and I was all down because I had dressed up real horrowshow. Jesus...years ago.
I remember all of this shit...Jake asking me to prom. Me asking Curt to take me before then. Why'd I want to go so damn bad? It really sucked. It ended in drunkeness and Krystals...how vogue.
I remember crushing on Michael in the 8th grade. Our plans for me to move into his room. The months he shatttered me into pieces.
All of my addictions. I wasn't really an addict. I was addicted to the infamy. I didn't have any real reasons to do drugs. I did it because I wanted to hear everyone say, "Oh my god! Did you hear about Lisa Gale at that party? She's fucking crazy!" I completely ditched all of my friends for people who mostly didn't give two shits about me at all. And all for what? To spend that entire summer wasted? To ruin so many brain cells and cause brain hermoraging? What a blast... I wanted respect...not fame. I recieved none. I wasn't anyone's true friend. I was the court jester. I was the person that people pointed to and said, "Well at least, I'm not that bad." I mean Jesus christ I'd carry water bottles into school that were filled with vodka, sell drugs in the halls, and come home pop a bunch of pills then contemplate how many more I had to take to kill myself. Whoo...fucking...hoo. I'm so glad I'm alive now.
Now I have this to deal with. This alcoholism. I won't lie. I tried to replace the alcohol with drugs. This weekend was my first actual drug and alcohol free weekend in such a long time. I'm so proud of myself. You have no idea. I was going downhill there for a while, but now things will be better. Much better... I love all of you. As always, thank you for your help and concern.
Much Love
Lisa
The first time I met The COW (Matt) I lit up a cigarette in his car not even thinking about the fact that he might not want me to be smoking in the car.
The first time I met Stephan I was really stoned and I named the white fuzz in between his toes. Amber also made him kiss me. That was so long ago....
The first time Stoney and I met I was his shopping cart and he was my back up drummer at Kareoke. Who could have fortold all of that?
The first time I met Dustin Michael had just ditched me at the mall and I was all down because I had dressed up real horrowshow. Jesus...years ago.
I remember all of this shit...Jake asking me to prom. Me asking Curt to take me before then. Why'd I want to go so damn bad? It really sucked. It ended in drunkeness and Krystals...how vogue.
I remember crushing on Michael in the 8th grade. Our plans for me to move into his room. The months he shatttered me into pieces.
All of my addictions. I wasn't really an addict. I was addicted to the infamy. I didn't have any real reasons to do drugs. I did it because I wanted to hear everyone say, "Oh my god! Did you hear about Lisa Gale at that party? She's fucking crazy!" I completely ditched all of my friends for people who mostly didn't give two shits about me at all. And all for what? To spend that entire summer wasted? To ruin so many brain cells and cause brain hermoraging? What a blast... I wanted respect...not fame. I recieved none. I wasn't anyone's true friend. I was the court jester. I was the person that people pointed to and said, "Well at least, I'm not that bad." I mean Jesus christ I'd carry water bottles into school that were filled with vodka, sell drugs in the halls, and come home pop a bunch of pills then contemplate how many more I had to take to kill myself. Whoo...fucking...hoo. I'm so glad I'm alive now.
Now I have this to deal with. This alcoholism. I won't lie. I tried to replace the alcohol with drugs. This weekend was my first actual drug and alcohol free weekend in such a long time. I'm so proud of myself. You have no idea. I was going downhill there for a while, but now things will be better. Much better... I love all of you. As always, thank you for your help and concern.
Much Love
Lisa