Feminism vs Oppression

[jeanniecee]

I consider myself a feminist. I feel that women haven't had equal rights and feel that we still don't in some ways and I think that should change. I think that the power structures that exist in our society are harmful in a lot of ways.

But to me, being a feminist does not mean I can be a bully in my relationship.

The other night I was out at a

Comments

[wolfcaroling]

Hear hear. I have major problems with reverse sexism. I don't think it is ever appropriate for one member of a relationship to MAKE the other do anything. It's never appropriate to tell the other person to diet, or to tell them that their desires for their OWN wedding are not worth listening to.

It actually really bothers me when women get together to complain about "men", too. They tell the story of how her husband wanted to go take a nap while she was in the middle of labour, or how how her boyfriend keeps comparing her unfavourably to people they meet in the street. Then they shake their heads and say "men", as if this is something men are born to do, and we can only do so much to change.

These guys aren't being men, they're being ASSHOLES. They aren't doing it because they are male, but because they are JERKS. Men are not inherently lazy and insensitive people who need to have the feminist law laid down for them. Women don't need to force men into conforming to their own ideals. If you don't like the things your partner does, GO FIND ANOTHER PARTNER.

There is all the difference in the world between brow beating a boyfriend/fiance/husband and making your personal needs clear. Lay down your "deal breakers" early in the relationship (for me infidelity and smoking would be high on the list), but if he does these things anyway you aren't "letting" him do it. He's making his own choices. Women too can make choices - whether to they mind enough to leave the relationship.

Women seem to think that all guys are assholes, so just pick one and brow beat him into being the person you want.

This is just as sexist as men thinking women are all weak and illogical, so just marry one and then keep her under of rule of thumb.

God forbid you find someone you actually respect!

[jeanniecee]

Agreed. It annoys me a lot that there's this cultural stereotype of men as lazy asses and women as bitches. It bugs me when otherwise intelligent people buy into that stereotype too. Tony has friends who lie to their wives/girlfriends so that they can go out with their friends to bars. They look at me like I'm some sort of new breed of human when I go out too and debate with Tony over the hotness of a waitress. I would rather he be honest with me and deal with who he actually is than be lied to all the time.