Patriot Screentime Minutes, and Deep Thoughts
I'm going to allow Mr Mark Wahlberg to express my reaction to this episode
I really dragged my feet on this review, because I found it so difficult to express my feelings about this episode. Some good ideas here, the execution was pretty terrible. And the script was atrocious. And some of the guest acting? Yikes!
Well, lets start with the hard facts...the numbers
Patriot, running time 41m, 33s (Previously On: 53s)
Clark: 17m, 59s
Lois: 20m, 19s
Oliver: 11m, 52s
Tess: 5m, 40s
AC/Arthur/Orrin: 10m, 50s
Mera: 8m, 29s
Dr Emil Hamilton: 3m, 29s
Season To Date:
Clark: 193m, 29s (9)
Lois: 161m, 3s (9)
Tess: 63m, 20s (7)
Oliver: 58m, 27s (7)
As bad as this script was, it did have one kick ass line, and I'll use that to take us under the cut for the review
Not only was that the lin from Tess kick ass (and a current reference, when this show often seems a decade behind the times in pop culture references), but it actually addresses a big issue I have with this episode. Which is why, in the middle of all this monumentally life-threatening heavy-duty shit going on, people are having 'ship conversations? Good God, really? Clark and Arthur, in the middle of searching a rig for potential prisons have to make time about AC settling down to marriage (while anvils clang onto our heads, and we can practially see the flashing neon signs on the background saying "OMG, SEE CLARK! LOIS MAKES YOU SO MUCH BETTER AND YOU ARE LESS WITHOUT HER BECAUSE AC SAYS THAT ABOUT MERA!!). But that wasn't it. Later, we have Lois show up and encounter Mera (who does an improptu striptease), which then launches into an examination of the Clois relationship. Now, first thing here, doesn't Mera know AC is off with Clark, and she's lost communication with him? So wouldn't she be, oh I don't know, worried? vigilant? monitering the comm? And as she's known Clark for 5 minutes, and Lois, 30 seconds, who launches into this kind of conversation?
God, it was so moronic. It made my head hurt.
Honestly, there are good ideas in this episode. I do enjoy the focus on the hero stuff, and more illumination on the VRA thing. I did like that they connected it to the Darkseid thing. I even like how the Suicide Squad was weaved into the whole situation. Its far more cohesive to weave all these plot elements together, rather then have them merely co-existing.
But, having said that, the execution of that was so bad. And the unnecessary heavy-handedness of using AC/Mera as some sort of mirror for Clark and Lois felt like serious overkill. In fact, cut all that shit out, and I think you have a far better episode. I'm not suggesting cutting out AC/Mera, or Clois moments. I'm saying cut out any need to parallel them, or have one relationship be a lesson for the other.
The character that fared the best in this episode was definitely Lois, and its been my feeling all year that she's the character the writers are most invested in writing now. I said elsewhere that this episode felt Lois-centric to me, and I stand by that. Not just because she had the most screentime, but because of the 4 regulars, I felt Lois' POV was the most focused on here. The point of this episode, at least in part, felt very much like a vehicle to validate Lois in many ways. As a reporter, as an asset to the JLA team, as the perfect partner for Clark (repeated ad nauseum), as his "co-captain" (personally, I would've preferred the term "co-pilot" used, but whatever...). It was Lois at the end that pushed Clark to reveal the darkness to the other members of the team. It was Lois that got the information on where Oliver was being held.
Sometimes, its just the way the ep strikes you. This one struck me as Lois-centric, even with all the hero stuff.
Now, Clark isn't written badly here. But why wasn't I satisfied with it? This is one I'm still not sure of. He really did say a lot of the right things. Again, sometimes, its just the way the ep strikes you. I find I can't explain my feelings here.
The actors playing AC, Mera and Slade all fell short. We already knew AR was a bit challenged on the whole acting talent thing, and I'm not sure intensely focused, serious AC was playing to his few strengths. Frankly, his whole Aquadude thing is part of what made him campy fun. And the actress playing Mera? Oh, Lord have mercy!! Where did they find this girl? Very beautiful, but.... And was it necessary for her cleavage to be displayed all episode? I'm usually someone who objects vehemently to actresses being referred to by their anatomy, but in this case, how can you avoid it? My sister was calling her Aquaboobs.
OK, I'm sorry, I have to step away from my inner-14 year old.
Maybe if she was a better actress, I wouldn't have been so distracted.
I never watched Battlestar Galactica, so I know nothing about Michael Hogan. I just found him hammy, but not in a good "Zor-El" sort of way.
The scenes that worked for me in this episode were in the minority, but I do want to mention them, because they had merit. I enjoyed the opening scene between Dr Emil (who should be on all the time. Really!), Clark and Oliver. I liked Lois in sneaky reporter mode with Slade, and its one of her best scenes all season. I liked the Lois/Tess scenes, and the newfound detente between those characters. And I liked the last scene at Watchtower.
But, speaking of that last scene, something did occur to me when I rewatched, and it did change my feelings about it to some degree. Lois tells Clark that he needs to inform the rest of the team about "The Darkness". OK, so presumably he calls a meeting. Now, why not include AC and Mera in that meeting when they're both already in the episode? And why not have Dr Emil join you for it? See, I liked this scene, but it occured to me that this was an opportunity for a real "team" sort of scene, and instead it was a "all the series regulars together" scene. I understand that actors not in the episode can't appear in "team" scenes, but you had 3 actors available for the episode. Why not use them?
One thing I did like about the dialogue in that scene though was that it seemed to become less about Clark's darkity-dark darkness, and it was more presented as a darkness that could consume ANYONE and EVERYONE. One of my deeply held resentments of Supergirl was the idea that both Kara and Lois were immune to this "Darkness", while Clark was just a dupe ready to fall like a playing card. Here, I felt like that was a corrected a bit.
So, now what didn't work for me...
Probably, first and foremost, the whole rescue sequence at the end. Look, I understand that the show is operating under a limited budget. But if you can't bring an action sequence to climax, then change the way you write it. The Oliver/AC/Mera scene is just so bad. First of all, Oliver is dumped into the water, that can't be more then 10 ft deep, with a completely open top, and he's thrashing around as though there's some reason he can't propel himself to the surface for air. Even if he's weighed down by the cuffs, he can push off the bottom with his legs. Mera shows up, does a hand thingie, and is able to shatter the glass in the tank. However, if she can manipulate water, woudn't it have made more sense for her to be able to make the water surge out of the top of the tank, rather then shatter the glass which she doesn't have control over? This causes a wave that splashes over AC, who breaks his metal chains. Mera just stands in one place, and bars come down around her. AC, who just was able to break chains, seems unable to do anything, so Oliver....now, this was the part me and my sister almost pee'd our pants laughing over....Oliver throws a piece of glass into a metal console, which causes the bars around Mera to retract. WHAT? No, really, WHAT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Oh show, you are so silly.
Now, OK, we get the impression that they are now going to swim away, though not one of them mention anything about Clark, and you'd think Mera would say "Oh, Clark's around too". But, whatever.
Now, Clark encounters Slade. He's got his Thriller jacket on, and his Fonzie hair happening, so he apparently thinks that makes it OK for Slade to see his face? I mean, really, think about this... Slade is the bad guy here, right? And Clark just totally exposed himself to said bad guy (Oh, Dirty!). How did Clark think this was going to work out? Even if Clark turned Slade in, Slade is likely to slide because he's working for the government. And now Clark's identity is out there in the world. This is so stupid.
Then a kryptonite cage comes down....how Slade would know Clark's weakness when he didn't even know who The Blur was is completely nonsensical. Clark acts like the kryptonite hurts for a few seconds there, and then seems to get better (?). Him and Slade go back and forth a bit, and then the whole facility blows up.
End Scene.
Really? You take your lead character, put him into a kryptonite cage, have things blow up around him, and don't bother to show how he gets out of that? So, its just "Make Up Your Own Clark Escape" boys and girls? Now, I'm an imaginative person and all, but I sort of feel like the SV writers and Co are being paid to write the story, not me.
Among other scenes that didn't work for me was the Lois/Oliver scene, where Lois hears that Clark almost volunteered to register for the VRA, and she reacts like this is something Clark has been planning and never shared with her, and Oliver never sees it necessary to let her know that this was something that just came up, in the spur of a moment, and there's a very good chance that Clark planned to discuss it with Lois before going through with the registeration. Because I sure didn't hear Clark say "I'm going to head over there RIGHT NOW and register". Also, I'm not sure why Lois thinks Clark shouldn't discuss this sort of thing with someone like Oliver, who is sort of in the big hero boat with him. In the course of hero stuff, there should be some things that Clark discusses with the other hero guys and gals before Lois.
The Lois/Emil scene didn't sit quite right for me either. Mostly because I think Emil would've been more apt to blow her off then capitulate. This felt very much like a "Wow, isn't that Lois so ballsy and cool" moment to me. Sort of unnecessary when that seemed to be an underlying theme of the episode overall.
As I said, absolutely nothing about the AC/Mera = Clark/Lois parallel worked for me. Not to mention that there's a huge difference in these couples, in that Mera possesses the same powers as AC. That alone makes the parallel a stretch. But mostly, it felt subtle as a sledgehammer, which is becoming my issue in some of the Clois stuff this season. I really don't understand why the show can't allow Clois to just be a bit more relaxed, and natural. There are so many things in this episode that Clois could've dealt with in a far more organic way without the AC/Mera stuff used as the means of comparison.
I mean, really, who the hell cares what Mera thinks about Clark and Lois' relationship? We've literally known the character for less then 9m. But her insight that Lois is what Clark needs, and treats him as he should be treated is supposed to mean anything to me? She's a twit. She doesn't know Clark. She doesn't know Lois. I don't care what she thinks. And she hasn't nearly spent enough time around Clois to have this sort of insight. And thats when scenes like this, and lines this, feel like an idea is being shoved down your throat. Because its so unnatural and false.
Clois have had a lot of great moments this season. But one of the things thats bothering me with the writing for them is that every single episode seems to have to have the "And Now, a Very Special Clois Moment" scene. Its as though milestones in the Clois relationship are a grocery list, and each and every episode seems to throw another thing into the shopping cart. The Clois talk at the end of this episode didn't even remotely feel like a natural conversation between a couple in love. Not the dialogue, not the staging, none of it. It felt like throwing a can of beans into the cart, only this can of beans has a label that says "Clark now includes Lois in all his hero stuff".
I just feel like there has to be a better way of writing it, and still achieving growth and evolution in the relationship. Remember how people used to get so sick of the endless Clana loft scenes that seemed to end countless episodes in the earlier season? Well, we have a new variation on them, and its called the "Very Special Clois Moment" scenes.
I had intended to include a rundown of some of the worst lines in the episode, but as I started jotting them down last night, it just became too long a list. Suffice to say that the absolute WORST written scene in this episode is the Mera and Lois meeting scene. Without a doubt.
So, in conclusion, this episode does have some good moments, and good ideas. It does have legitimate issues for Clois that should be discussed in their couple-y moments. But the execution and how these moments were handled left much to be desired.
On the directing note, I will say that I love Tom Welling like crazy. Having said that, not impressed with his direction of this episode. Why was everything so damned dark? And I'm afraid he has to take at least some blame for the very undynamic action sequences.
Clark, Lois, Oliver, Tess and Dr Emil all had their good moments. Surprisingly, I found myself OK with Oliver in this episode, much like Ambush. Thats 2 for him this season. Amazing! And Tess? Well, its pretty much always Love. Dr Emil should be heavily recurring, because he's awesome.
And next week? Well, things to SQUEEEEE about for sure. But still, I worry.