A FEW WEEKS LATER.....
Well, my Virginia city life has surely changed in the past few weeks. Trying to look forward, not back or around, it hurts too much....
7/16- 7a Woke fairly unstopped up, maybe I can continue this w/ my nedi pot, it does seem to be helping w/ sleep & stuffiness. The crape myrtle's are so beautiful & so bothersome when we get much rain. For the record we have have wet/dry weather this summer, but it only talks a little rain regularly for the resulting mold to flourish in those profuse flowers.
Had to quickly feed Yin & get the trash out. Tom & I sort of had dinner last nite, decided it was too late to get his new water heater will do it today 1p. Noticed my porch flowers & how well they are doing, & how bad the yard flowers are. The past years drought have keep me from planting yard flowers I had to water, but this year the wet spring gave me hope ...but what I have put out this year has either died or barely grown.....The times they are a changing... The house is quieter w/o Zac, hope he & the SteamBug crew are having a fine artistic time @ Transformus.
Saw Sarah @n uncg yesterday and we continue to discover & decipher my troubles. Just going to her once a week keeps my probing during the week. We have uncovered many things....I feel quilty if I am not working or sick...I am depressed & very anxious, manic was a lable she got from the many tests I took,....realized most of my seriously bad public drinking episodes had happened w/ my kids....(not what I want to show them....)....I need to make apointments w/ me to have fun & do me things...decided a good one would be photography/travel. Think I will ask Iva ( new photog friend) to go to Smith Mountain Lake for a photos & exploring.
Next week is so full, Mama to Dr Mon, then to VAC for big group Tues am, then back to historic tax credit meeting in GSO ( got to try, tax bill this year is well over $10K), wed colonic & energy work ( by the way the hip, back & breast pains seem to be at bay as long as I do this every 6-8 weeks and take time to do energy work on it pain when it surfaces)....then back to VAC for another big group w/ Connie. This time I my take a friend, master cabinet maker w/ me to see about finishing in the Penthouse, for a couple of days. Then i get to come home again...
Mama is doing better bladder wise ( new increased meds & exercises have given her her 1st dry morning week in 8 months, hurray !) but is still getting slower mentaly almost by the day. I love her so......don't want her to go.......She has a new GP Dr Norlins, I really like him! Bow tie & white lab coat, small beard & great eyes behind the glasses that sit down on the nose. He spent close to an hour w/us, was very kind & concerned. He couldn't get a pulse in her left leg....so he gently took off her shoe & sock, then put it back the same way after he felt the faint pulse there. Didn't change any med & wants to see here again in 30 days. He wanted to make sure she had a living will & had recorded the no resuscitation stuff. He used the number 30% to describe the folks that came back after such, then said only 10% ever left the hospital. This went along w/ the MY Mother, Your Mother book on aging/ lecture I went to. he didn't say don't do it but wanted us to understand there was very little chance of a good life after the body had decided to quit.....She said she would be ready to go when God called her......I cried then & now. Got to get him the legal papers & post Non-Resuscitation papers in the house so the medics don't do anything against her will. He promised she would be confortable & pain free w/ the inevidable came.... Still crying...
Got to go now, hope this is enough Jes, thought it may not be what you would have liked to read, but this is my life & I need to do my best w/ it. Maybe I am making some progress......
PS- SARAH H is alive an well she says...nothing more oh, 811 Walker is her new address Aug 1st.