No appointment but some thoughts....
Notes to Self & Sarah (@uncg)
5/29) Have way too much to do and little help to do it. Many people depend on me but I am made to feel I cannot ask for help from anybody. Have begun to think I should just quit....at least they would do it for themselves or maybe not. There is no one to blame for the pile of spinning plates I have above my head but me. However it does seem I need help to dismantle the damn thing.
5/29) It is really hard to believe that my need for help causes my family to distrust me. The fact I can't handle as much as I once could ( you know that amount that crushed me...) now I am untrustworthy ? Let me say it again...I need help !
5/31) Was photographing my lush back yard & beyond, when I realized the Yin Yang sawblade Louis had hung so long ago (20+yrs) was now covered by the growing red bud tree as he is covered in death.
6/15) The guilt is paralyzing, Michael is dead, I'm still here...Could I have done more, thought of more..... No, the answer has come....I could have chosen to do less, to not push as hard, to have realistic ambitions.
Got too close to the sun.....