(no subject)
i'm so sick. i am so sick all the time. i can't stand it anymore. i just want to get better fast and i don't want to have to do much work towards getting better but i already know this is going to take years to recover from most likely. all i want to do is stay as busy as possible, and its starting to catch up to me. i need to learn the limits of my body all over again and i need to learn not to push it to do crazy things it can't do. on my days off i can't even relax because i feel guilty for relaxing. i have literally three doctors appointments a day on most days. on good days, its only one appointment on my days off. i feel like there is so much stuff to do and so little time to do it. i cannot wait to get into my house. i want to fix my relationship and make everything better, its going to take a while though. i know that. i just hope he is willing to work towards it and work with me. i just need to focus on my health first. because if i don't have my health, then nothing else really matters. i need to stop stressing about everything. i'm seriously freezing, and i just want to go to bed when jeremy gets home.
ugh.
i hate life.
ugh.
i hate life.