(no subject)
So this past week has been very shitty! And that is the nicest word for me to describe it as.
Ya know for the past couple of days...when I found out something...I have decided that I wish the doctor would tell me that I am dying. When/if I do get to see the doc. I mean I just feel like my family doesn't want me. What friends I do have...they dont want me either. I mean it might just be all in my head but thats just how I feel. I feel that no one wants me. Yeah there's been one that has helped me through so much this past week, but I dont know...just there are still times when I feel that she doesnt want me around even if she does tell me many many times that she does want to talk to me..she does want me around.
I dont know...I dont want to give up...but then again I do. But I know that I wont. I just want to get the fuck away from this place. I want to know that I can be happy again. I want to know that I do have someone to talk to. (ok I do...but there are times that i just feel like I shouldnt bother you..But I am trying.)
I want to be happy again. I want a normal life that I had again. But maybe I wont. I dont know right now. This all I am saying for now.
Ya know for the past couple of days...when I found out something...I have decided that I wish the doctor would tell me that I am dying. When/if I do get to see the doc. I mean I just feel like my family doesn't want me. What friends I do have...they dont want me either. I mean it might just be all in my head but thats just how I feel. I feel that no one wants me. Yeah there's been one that has helped me through so much this past week, but I dont know...just there are still times when I feel that she doesnt want me around even if she does tell me many many times that she does want to talk to me..she does want me around.
I dont know...I dont want to give up...but then again I do. But I know that I wont. I just want to get the fuck away from this place. I want to know that I can be happy again. I want to know that I do have someone to talk to. (ok I do...but there are times that i just feel like I shouldnt bother you..But I am trying.)
I want to be happy again. I want a normal life that I had again. But maybe I wont. I dont know right now. This all I am saying for now.