feelin better
I'm going to be honest. For the last few days, I have been pretty depressed. Actually, it's been probably a few weeks now. I have never been actually depressed in my life before. I've been sad, i've been blue, i've been upset, i've been a lot of things. But, I had never been depressed before. It's a feeling that I absolutely hate. It was a feeling of helplessness and deep sadness that was eating at my soul.
Now, what could possibly make me feel that kind of feeling? What else? Women.
As most people who actually know me know, I am a person who is driven by his heart. I have always loved love and have done my best to be optimistic. But when I took some time to look back at the last 3 years or so of my life, when it comes to relationships, there was nothing I could feel but depressed. In that 3 year period, I went from almost engaged, to single for a long time, to being dumped for a good friend of mine, to failing to even get a single date for over half a year. Seeing me fail time and time again to get a date was the final nail in the coffin.
I've been doing a good job of hiding it from my friends, so everything seemed to be fine with me. But for some reason, it all started to come out last night while we were at a club. Probably because I spend so much time with this girl that I have rediculously strong feelings for, and there doesn't seem to be any chance for me with her. In fact, it looks like she may hook up with a buddy of mine.........
But anyways, I'm feeling a little better today, since I just got back from the Bristol Rennaisance audtions. I did a damn good job, so I might just have a paying actor/combatant job for the summer.
Tonight is karaoke night. If this doesn't make me feel better, nothing will.
Now, what could possibly make me feel that kind of feeling? What else? Women.
As most people who actually know me know, I am a person who is driven by his heart. I have always loved love and have done my best to be optimistic. But when I took some time to look back at the last 3 years or so of my life, when it comes to relationships, there was nothing I could feel but depressed. In that 3 year period, I went from almost engaged, to single for a long time, to being dumped for a good friend of mine, to failing to even get a single date for over half a year. Seeing me fail time and time again to get a date was the final nail in the coffin.
I've been doing a good job of hiding it from my friends, so everything seemed to be fine with me. But for some reason, it all started to come out last night while we were at a club. Probably because I spend so much time with this girl that I have rediculously strong feelings for, and there doesn't seem to be any chance for me with her. In fact, it looks like she may hook up with a buddy of mine.........
But anyways, I'm feeling a little better today, since I just got back from the Bristol Rennaisance audtions. I did a damn good job, so I might just have a paying actor/combatant job for the summer.
Tonight is karaoke night. If this doesn't make me feel better, nothing will.