(no subject)
Maybe I’m letting go of and embracing the right things, finally.
I went my first 24 hour period of time without throwing up anything. In giving up making thinness my number one priority, other things I’ve considered myself being/becoming:
1. a writer
2. a volunteer at the animal shelter
3. a really good cook
4. a Buddhist
5. a general spreader of good karma
6. the bigger person...just because it's nicer
7. something better and more intimate than a lover
8. a great harvest employee lol
9. someone who can feel tall in flats and cute in stilettos
10. someone who listens to every Hanson song for the complete experience
11. someone who is awake + engaging more than she is asleep + internalizing
Ten+ things, over the course of two minutes, that I wanted to dabble in or be identified for/as that had absolutely nothing to do with my body type, didn’t require masochism, had no negative repercussions whatsoever. Ten+ things I've decided I want to be immediately - very directly - because of him tonight.
He’s not my everything and he’s not my savior, but he was brought into my life for a reason…and it feels like it was to ensure that I respect + honor my own.
I'm blind with eyes wide open
My body's tired and broken
I want a taste of something, that doesn't leave me dry
This hope for answered questions
As rare as true conviction
I stare into the distance, there is no truth in sight
Who can tell me why
Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky out there to see
A blue sky waiting for me
I've seen the main attraction
I've felt the moment's passion
I won't be no soap box teacher, just taking your time
Just taking your time
Who can tell me why
Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky out there to see
A blue sky
Everywhere I go, it feels like I'm always searching for something
'Til I know for sure, I'll be right here waiting for something
More, more, for something more, for something more
Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky out there to see
Somewhere there's a blue sky waiting
Everybody's looking for a blue sky
Searching for an answer on a satellite
I know that there's got to be a blue sky waiting for me
A blue sky