(no subject)
You know i've been asked what my biggest fear is many times, but i've never had a solid answer. Today I figured out the answer to that question my biggest fear is the fear of saying goodbye. I absolutely refuse to say goodbye to anyone close to me I unknowingly will do everything to avoid saying goodbye to someone. I guess I prefer just leaving.. that way I can just pick up where I left off with that person. I hate hate hate knowing I won't be able to see a friend or even a family member for a long time and with each passing day I'm having to face that reality more and more. Sunday will be my last day in Modesto and tomorrow will probably the last day I see a lot of my friends. I feel like i'm leaving nothing and everything at the same time. Friends who I didn't think I could get any closer to i've bonded with on a completely different level and have gotten closer too. Not to mention i've made life long friends and I met an amazing girl while I was out here who gave me faith in girls again showing me that there really are decent people out there. It's been a crazy 3 months filled with alcohol friends ecstasy friends cocaine friends and more weed than humanly possible to smoke. I can't say i'm 100% sure that this move is the best thing for me but I know i'll make the best of it. School is what's important right? Plus this time things will be 100% different in Arizona. My life won't be based around a girl and work instead it will be school and friends. It's just so fucking hard to live in the moment when life is moving so fast, but so slow. Didn't I just get to Modesto? Shannon who? wait i'm 21?!
I hope to god they're not kidding when they say everything happens for a reason.
I hope to god they're not kidding when they say everything happens for a reason.