Chocolate fic for tinyangl, PART 3
To: tinyangl
From: cupid_johnny
Title: Echo
Pairing: Aiba Masaki/Horikita Maki • Aiba Masaki/Becky • Ishihara Satomi/Ohno Satoshi • Ishihara Satomi/Matsumoto Jun . . .
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Life is about chances and choices. (For history’s sake, would you please take notice?)
A/N: What can one even say to half of the most fabulous mod team, to whom anonymity rarely exists, except-surprise! ♥♥♥
“It’s not that I have regrets, not exactly. Just sometimes…sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had…done something else. Been something more.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm?”
“If you could live your life over again and do whatever you want, what would you do? No regrets, no consequences, what would you want to have done? Would you have become a nurse?”
“Knowing what I know now?”
“Knowing what you know now.”
“Hmmm…no, wait this is too hard. You go first?”
“Me? Well…okay, don’t laugh at this either.”
“Depends on what you say.”
“Back when I lived in Chiba, the first time I mean, we used to live with my grandparents. It was a small house, a little more removed from the city, and they had a massive backyard. My parents were always working, and I wasn’t in school just yet, so I would just…help my grandmother in the garden, follow her down row after row of vegetables, splooshing water everywhere because the watering can was too big for my hands.
“A little section of the garden in the backyard was fenced off, and that’s where my grandparents kept their…peafowls.”
“Peafowls?”
“Oh, that’s a milder reaction than I was expecting.”
“Peafowls are really beautiful, though. Who wouldn’t want them in their backyard?”
“I can think of a few people…but, anyway, whenever I think about those carefree days, I think…if I could have lived my life simply, just planted a garden and raised peafowls in my backyard, maybe even some chickens…I think I would have been happy.”
Two (Scavengers)
“Want to get some food?”
“E-excuse me?”
“Food.” He blinks at her. “You eat, right?” His hand finds her wrist easily, and he measures it with his thumb and forefinger. There’s a sizable gap between the two. “You should eat more-you’re so thin.”
Satomi jerks her hand back at the touch and catches sight of her watch. “Ah! I’m late!” she says, completely forgetting herself and running full-speed to school.
Ms. Esumi keeps her after for a whole hour to make up for the twenty minutes she was late. It’s helpful, actually, but it also means it’s pouring by the time she gets out. She passes Covent Garden Square and pauses at the corner of the intersection, taps her fingers over the handle of her umbrella and wonders if Andromeda was really devoured in the end.
“Okay, now you.”
“Already? Well…I guess…if I could have lived my life surrounded by people I love, people who loved me back-I would have been happy…”
“Oh, is that all?”
“What do you mean, is that all?”
“I just mean that you’re in luck!”
“Why?”
“Because that’s how you’re living right now, isn’t it?”
“Huh?”
“Being surrounded by people you love, who love you back!”
“Who?”
“Well there’s me, obviously. And Nino, Maki-chan, Becky, Sho-chan…”
“They’re not my friends, though, Masaki.”
“What are you talking about? Do you not like them?”
“N-no, of course that’s not it!”
“Then…?”
“I mean, they don’t really like me.”
“What? They love you.”
“They’re nice to me because I’m your girlfriend.”
“Miitan!”
Satomi glances up from the airport gate and an uncontrollable smile spreads over her face.
“Maachan!” She waves giddily, flails her arms over her head as Masami rolls her giant luggage toward her. Satomi meets her in the middle and they collide in a jumble of arms and giggles and delight.
“Your hair got so long!” Satomi gasps, twirling a long strand of Masami’s hair between her fingers. “I thought you always liked short hair.”
“I needed a change,” Masami grins. “And I always loved your hair.”
“So what do you want to see first?”
“Everything!” Masami demands, throwing her hands into the air. “I want to see the London Eye and Buckingham Palace and Trafalgar Square and Hyde Park and, and oooh! Big Ben! And-”
“You want to see all that in one day?” Satomi laughs, taking hold of Masami’s bag despite her protest. “We should at least drop your stuff off first.”
“Fiiiine.” Masami lets out a dramatic sigh. “And then everything!”
Masami passes out the second she sits down on Satomi’s bed. “Jus’ five min…Mii…” she mutters, rolling around in Satomi’s sheets without even changing.
Satomi rolls her eyes but continues to neatly unpack all of Masami’s belongings into the drawer she’s cleaned out for the occasion. “Okay,” Satomi promises, tucking her blanket over Masami’s chin with a smile.
“I mean…it…”
“Okay, okay.”
Masami wakes with a scream five short hours later, just as Satomi’s straightening her bangs. Satomi almost drops the straightener into the sink in her rush to check on Masami. “What? What is it?!”
“You let me sleep!” Masami cries, balling her fists into the sheets.
“Oh, is that all?” Satomi sighs in relief. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Oh is that all?! I slept through my entire first day here! And you were going to let me sleep all the way through the night, past your performance?!”
“I’m performing again tomorrow. And we have two whole weeks to go explore London. You should sleep-you look exhausted.” Masami fights a yawn as if on cue and Satomi points triumphantly. “See!”
“Fine, I’m sleepy! I’m jetlagged. So what! Where you say two whole weeks, I say only two weeks! Just two weeks is barely enough time at all after how many years of not seeing each other at all.”
“Okay,” Satomi cuts in, knowing if Masami continues on her impassioned tirade there will be no stopping her. “But I’m leaving now to rehearse.”
“I’ll go with you!”
“You should get something to eat first,” Satomi trails off, furrowing her eyebrows. “Get some food and then come when the show starts. I’ve left your ticket on the nightstand.”
“I. Am. Going. With. You.” Masami repeats, and Satomi knows she’s fighting a losing battle.
“All right, all right, get ready, then. I’m leaving soon.”
“You may want to do something about those bangs first.”
“Huh?”
Masami points to the vanity mirror and Satomi cranes her neck to get a better look-her bangs are flipped completely upward. Masami bursts out laughing.
“Hey, this happened because you screamed. Help me fix it!”
“Okay,” Masami chuckles, wiping at her eyes. “But I always work for a fee.” Masami’s hands quickly reach for her cell phone and then there is a click and a flash that leaves Satomi seeing stars. “Blackmail shot!”
Satomi groans. “Why am I friends with you?”
“Because otherwise you’d have none,” Masami replies, blowing her a raspberry, before cracking up anew at the picture.
“What? Don’t be crazy. That’s not the only reason-”
“You don’t have to be nice about it, Masaki, it’s okay.”
“But really! Every time Maki-chan calls me, she spends more time asking about you than about me. And Becky has been bugging me to get you to go on this girls’ weekend trip she’s been planning forever. You still haven’t given me an answer, by the way.”
“I’m not saying your friends aren’t nice, because they are. They are…really, really nice. Because they’re your friends and they’re also all in relationships is the only reason…”
“What does that have to to with any-”
“It does, Masaki. You just don’t understand.”
“Try me. Why don’t you want to go on a trip with them?”
“It would…it would just be a bother if I actually accepted.”
“That’s nonsense. If they didn’t want to hang out with you they wouldn’t-”
“Stop, please. Really I…talking with people-becoming friends-it’s just not something I can do. A-and I’m okay with it. So just drop it, okay? Please?”
“What about Masami-chan?”
“What about her?”
“She’s your best friend, Satomi, and if she can be your friend, why can’t-”
“Masami-chan is…I think if I had stayed in Japan, in Tokyo, if we had gone to the same high school like we planned…I think she wouldn’t have stayed my friend, either…”
“That was amazing, Satomi-chan!” Masami cries, tackling Satomi in the dressing room. Satomi barely has her makeup off, and her hair is still tightly curled into a bun, but she accepts the hug with open arms.
“You think so?” Satomi asks wiping down her face with a towel, trying to hide the growing smile on her face.
“Even better than the lead,” Masami replies, loudly and dramatically, which makes Satomi giggle anew.
“Shh! Don’t say something like that! What if someone hears you?”
“She has her own dressing room, doesn’t she?” Satomi nods. “Then it’s fine, right?” Masami beams. “Besides, I mean it. You really were the best part of the show. Better than the lead!”
A few of the other dancers glance over, tittering in response, and Satomi ducks her head in apology, though she hasn’t managed to wipe the silly grin off her face.
“And you are incredibly biased,” Satomi says, letting her hair loose. “And I love you for it.”
“You should.” Masami nods sagely. “I am very loveable. Now let’s get some food before I-” Masami trails off, swaying on her feet until her knees buckle right under her.
Satomi barely manages to catch her before she hits the floor. “Masami-chan?! Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Masami murmurs, blinking and shaking her head. “Fine.” She stands on her own, but not without swaying one last time, leaning against Satomi for support. “I must be hungrier than I thought.” She rubs her stomach and it growls in reply.
“This is why I told you to go eat!” Satomi huffs, keeping an arm around Masami’s shoulders and leading her to a chair.
“I was afraid I’d pass out again and miss the show…I had some coffee just before it started, if that helps?”
“It doesn’t. In fact that’s probably worse, did you even have any water?!”
Masami looks up at her with giant, helpless doe eyes and shakes her head.
Satomi sighs. “Okay, let me get you some water first, then I’ll quickly change and we’ll get some food for you, okay?”
“Okay, but don’t take too long,” Masami says, tugging on Satomi’s wrist, further proof that she must be starving. Masami only becomes incredibly clingy and sweet when she’s hungry or drunk.
Satomi means to get some water from the cooler down the hallway, but doesn’t make it past the door. Satomi squeaks, bumping straight into…something cold and crinkly. Oh, excuse me!” she exclaims in English, bowing in apology. She doesn’t mean to notice it, but she catches the glint of gold on the pinky toe of a foot that seems decidedly male. Satomi follows her gaze up a pair of dark denim jeans, to a giant, crinkly bouquet of vibrant orange and pink lilies, up further to a smooth, angular face. With his windswept hair, leather jacket, and dark sunglasses, he looks like, well, like something out of a movie. “Hello. May I help you?”
“Hello,” he replies, reaching up with one hand to pull off his sunglasses. “You are…?” he trails off, frowning, before trying again in Japanese. “Are you Ishihara Satomi-san?”
“Ah, yes,” Satomi replies, falling back into her native tongue with a little difficulty. “Are you looking for some-”
He presses the bouquet of flowers right into her arms and she blinks. “Um?”
“I don’t ever do this, but,” he says, says hastily, bringing a hand to ruffle his hair, “would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tonight?”
“H-huh?” Satomi blinks again, fumbling with a bouquet much too large and gorgeous to really be for her. This must be some kind of dream. “Me?”
He nods, somewhat bashfully. “Yes.”
“But I…?” Satomi trails off, at a loss. She reaches a hand to pinch at her warming cheeks.
It hurts.
“Mii-tan, what’s taking so long?” Two arms circle Satomi from behind and she feels the comfortable weight of Masami’s head on her shoulder. Masami’s chin lifts slightly and then she is screeching straight into Satomi’s ear, “Is that Matsuchuun-sama?!”
Satomi almost knocks their heads together when she glances back at her. “Do you know him?”
“Everyone knows him,” Masami replies faintly, her arms tightening around Satomi’s waist. “Is this real? Did I starve to death? Am I in heaven?”
“No, you’re not in heaven,” Satomi replies, removing herself from Masami’s embrace to get a better look at her. “Your pupils do look a little dilated, though…”
“What is going on here?! Are you really Matsuchuun-sama?!” Masami demands, fighting Satomi’s hands away from her face. She steps up to him and lifts her chin to full height before poking him in the chest. “Or is this just some weird imposter?!”
“Ah, Masami-chan, don’t do that!” Satomi says, stepping in between them and shaking her head. “That’s rude.”
“I assure you, Masami-san, I am not some weird imposter.” He smiles and Masami squeaks, eyes wide.
“I touched him!”
“Masami-chan…”
“May I have your autograph?” Masami says, completely shiny-eyed and adoring.
“Of course.” The words are barely out of his lips before Masami squeaks anew and runs back into the dressing room to find some pen and paper.
“I-I’m so sorry for all this,” Satomi says, bowing again in apology. “She just got off the plane and hasn’t adjusted to the time difference yet.”
“There is nothing to apologize for.”
Satomi smiles. “Thank you, Matsuchuun-san.”
“Ah, no, Matsuchuun is an unfortunate nickname I’ve apparently been given on the internet.” He chuckles. “A version of my stage nickname, Matsujun, which is a portmanteau of Matsumoto Jun.”
“Oh I see!” Satomi nods. “Um, about before, then, Matsumoto-san, did you-”
“Found it!” Masami reemerges with a crisp sheet of paper and a silver marker, which Matsumoto takes and autographs against the wall with great, flourishing strokes. “Thank you so much!” Masami squeals, pressing the autographed paper to her chest. “But what are you doing in…” Masami trails off, suddenly aware of the large bouquet of flowers in Satomi’s hands. “Oh. Ohhhhhh.” She points between them with a gaping mouth. “Are you…?”
“Well, yes. I came here to ask Ishihara-san to dinner.” Matsumoto smiles a little. “Although I still haven’t received an answer…”
“I-”
“She’d love to,” Masami replies at once, shoving Satomi forward.
Satomi shoots her a frown. “What about dinner?”
“Woman, Matsuchuun-sama is asking you to dinner. That’s what’s about dinner.”
“You’re sick.”
“I’m fine!”
“You just got into London!”
“This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”
“You visiting me is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity as well!”
“Um,” Matsumoto says, raising a hand.
“She’s coming!” Masami yelps before Satomi covers her mouth with her hand and says, “I’m terribly sorry, Matsumoto-san. But I must decline-”
“You are not declining-mmph!”
“You’re welcome to join us, ah, Masami-san, was it?” Matsumoto cuts in smoothly. “I would be more than happy to dine in the company of two lovely ladies.”
Masami flushes violently but shakes her head. “I-I-thank you, that’s very kind, but I’m sure that would be an inconvenience.” She turns to Satomi. “But you, you go.”
“But.”
“If you don’t go, I will no longer be your friend.”
Satomi pouts.
“Besides, remember that friend I told you about? She landed a few days ago and is staying with her dad right now. I can just visit her sooner rather than later.”
“Free dinner and you get to keep your friend sounds like a good deal to me.”
Satomi bites her lip and glances from Masami’s eager face to Matsumoto’s disarming smile. “Well, I suppose no one could say no to that,” she stammers at last.
Matsumoto offers her an arm, which Masami pushes her to take.
“You’ve got the keys to my apartment?” she asks worriedly, and Masami laughs and pushes them along.
“Yes, yes, now go and have fun you two!” she calls, before leaning in one last time to whisper in Satomi’s ear, “Tell me everything when you get back.”
He takes her to some high-class, fancy French place, and she can’t read the name of the restaurant, let alone anything on the menu. He orders for the both of them and is content to make small talk as they wait. He asks her about life in London and how long she’s been here and whether she’s been to this restaurant before. She tries to answer each of his question sincerely, but every time she glances at him, his eyes are so focused on her that she can do nothing but stammer and blush and avert her gaze. She hadn’t quite noticed how handsome he was until he was sitting across from her, so close to her, here, together, bathed in romantic candlelight.
Dinner is eaten carefully, in a haze, trying her hardest not to scratch the silverware that may very well be made of silver. She barely remembers to say, “Th-thank you,” just as they leave the restaurant. All this heart-hammering must be very bad for her. “Dinner was amazing, and the bouquet was very beautiful. You really shouldn’t have…”
“I think it was easier to talk to you when you had no inkling of who I was,” Matsumoto says with a wistful little smile.
“I-I’m sorry!” Satomi exclaims, bowing profusely. “I hope you have a lovely night.”
“Ah, Ishihara-san, I did have one last appointment for the night…I would be honored if you might accompany me?”
She really doesn’t understand why he would feel any honor to spend more time with her, but she nods because it’s the only thing she can do without looking at him.
Less than an hour later she’s gasping with delight in the very top car of the London Eye. Her hands are pressed to the glass window, face so close she’s fogging up the glass, but she can’t help it. “It’s funny,” Satomi says, sitting back in her seat and marveling at the London skyline.
“What is?”
“I’ve lived in London for over five years now, but it’s never seemed as beautiful as it has just now.”
“That’s funny,” Jun replies.
“What is?”
“I was just thinking-I’ve been in London for five days, and it’s never seemed as beautiful as it has just now.”
Satomi glances over at him to reply, but realizes only then that he’s staring back at her.
“How can you say that about Masami-chan?!”
“It’s just something I know from experience.”
“What experience?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it, Masaki.”
“Satomi.”
Satomi wakes to sunlight flitting over her eyelids, enveloped in silken sheets. To her right, Jun snores softly, face pressed into the pillow, hair in complete disarray.
“Awake?” Matsujun mumbles, cracking his sleepy eyes open.
“Mm, but not for long,” Satomi whispers in reply.
“Whatimissit?”
“Early.”
“Too early.”
Satomi giggles. “Too early.”
Jun whines nasally through his nose, eyes drooping shut and lips smacking together sleepily. Satomi likes him best in the morning, when he’s still sleepy and silly and completely vulnerable, when he’s less like a star and more like any other man weak to mornings. She reaches her hand to smooth out the pillow wrinkles in his cheek, and his hand comes up to claim hers.
“Go back to sleep.”
“I can’t,” Satomi admits, curling her body to the side, toward him. “I’m thinking.”
“About what?” Jun’s eyes are fully open now, though they are still cloudy with fatigue.
“About my life,” Satomi begins. “About how perfect it seems right in this very moment.”
He smiles and twines their fingers together, pulls her closer so that their noses are almost touching.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Hmm,” he agrees, pressing a kiss to her nose.
“Why me?”
“Why you what?”
“On the night of the Swan Lake performance-when you came to the dressing room looking for me…why me?”
“Oh, that?” He smiles lazily and swoops his face lower to steal a kiss from her lips. “I actually got lost on my way to Mizuhara Kiko’s dressing room.”
“Jun-san!”
He laughs and steals another kiss. “You’re adorable.”
“Flattery won’t help,” Satomi huffs, sticking out her tongue and rolling away to the edge of the bed. “I’m still mad at you.”
“I’ll tell you the real reason if you come back.”
She eyes him warily but scoots a tiny bit closer. “You may proceed.”
“You’ve got to come closer than that.”
Satomi pouts, but wriggles another tiny bit closer.
“So, yeah, I know. Everyone’s attention should have been on Odette and Sigfried and their impassioned declarations of love, of their desire to die together rather than ever part. And yet…”
“And yet?”
“And yet one of the other swan maidens caught my attention. A swan who, in the midst of tragedy, could not keep this radiant smile off her face. I thought…I thought I really needed to meet this swan.”
“Oh?”
“This swan who smiles even as Odette and her prince condemn themselves to the bottom of the lake. This very sadistic swan.”
“Hey! I wasn’t! That!” Satomi stutters, protests, and Jun breaks out into laughter.
Satomi reaches both hands to mess with his hair, but he ducks under the covers and trails sloppy kisses all along her stomach, making her gasp with laughter. “Unfair!” she cries, scrambling for the covers and taking them with her as she rolls clean off the bed. He leaps off the bed and reaches her before she untangle herself from the sheets, scoops her up and tosses her back onto the bed. He has that look on his face that means he’s about to kiss her senseless, but then there’s a knock at the door and he frowns.
“Did you order something?”
Satomi shakes her head
The knocking persists.
“Lend me your sheet?”
Satomi giggles but complies, watches him wrap the sheet around his waist before scrambling under the comforter as he heads for the door.
“Hello-?”
“Matsujun, what the hell were you thinking?!”
“Hey, don’t go in there…”
Satomi shrieks as an unfamiliar man barges into the room. She brings the comforter closer to her body as he turns away, adjusts his glasses, and then sighs. “Really, Matsujun, really? All this fuss for a girl?”
“Jun-san, what is he…?”
“You were due back in Japan ten days ago. Ten days! Do you know many appearances you’ve missed? The public is in an uproar, everyone is seriously pissed off, and you’re holed in a fancy hotel with some London bimbo-”
Jun’s hands are on the stranger’s collar before Satomi can utter a sound. “Don’t call her a bimbo,” he says coolly, just before the sheet drops.
Satomi covers her mouth with her hands.
The stranger rolls his eyes and pushes Jun off of him, dusts off the front of his shirt and adjusts his collar so that it’s perfectly back in place. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”
“Kaname-kun, will you just-”
“No, Matsujun, you just-just!” Kaname roars, poking him in the chest. “Get dressed! We’re going back to Japan tomorrow!”
He marches halfway across the room before turning back, clearing his throat and bowing in Satomi’s direction. “I truly am sorry about earlier, ma’am, please accept my sincerest apologies.” He then turns quickly on his heel and leaves the room, closing the door carefully behind him.
“Who…what?” Satomi blubbers as Jun sighs and rubs at the back of his head.
“That was Kaname Jun, my agent. He’s a little…prickly, but he has good intentions.”
“Did you really miss a lot of important appearances?” Satomi asks, guiltily.
“Probably.” He frowns and cracks his neck from side to side.
“Do you really have to leave tomorrow morning?”
“Probably.”
“Oh,” Satomi nods, biting her lip. “So this is goodbye.” It’s not like she didn’t see it coming. His life is in Japan and hers is in England.
“Always so eager to say goodbye to me, Satomi-san,” Jun replies, shaking his head.
“I don’t mean to,” Satomi trails off. What is she supposed to say otherwise?
“Satomi-san, I don’t ever do this, and this may sound a little crazy, but…would you ever consider coming back to Japan?”
“I…well…I used to live in Tokyo, you know? And I had a lot of friends growing up, I mean, in the way kids are all friends. During middle school, girls started to have crushes on boys and boys started to have crushes on girls, but I was just happy to just be around my friends.
“Somehow, though…I was an early bloomer, I guess. Boys took notice of me even though I didn’t really notice them back, but the girls did. One day they just…didn’t talk to me much anymore. I couldn’t understand it. But then I started to overhear them…
“They were whispering about me, about the boys who confessed to me, the same boys my friends had crushes on. Even though I never accepted any of the confessions, a divide was drawn that year. It was the same the next year, too. And the next. I would make friends with the girls in my class, but then, slowly, the distance would widen. And somehow…I would be left alone.
“So I begged, begged, begged my parents to move. I couldn’t take anymore. I wanted a fresh start. So we moved to Chiba because of my aunt and uncle. Yuko-san was already in college, but I just thought that, in a new school, things could be different. I wanted things to be different. And things were different. At first.
“Yoko-chan was funny and energetic and loud-mouthed and she defended me when the girls started whispering. She would ask why they were angry at me when they should really be angry at those stupid boys. And I was so…so happy.
“She was friends with Toru-kun in the year above us-they grew up together and always spent time with each other, and the three of us would always walk home together because we lived nearby. I didn’t like boys back then. They were the reason I didn’t have friends, the reason I was never invited out with the girls, but Toru-kun was nice. I never minded hanging out with him because Yoko-chan liked him. He must be a good person.
“Only…”
“Only…?”
“You’re happy, aren’t you?”
“That’s impossible.”
“Liar.”
“I’m home!”
Satomi quickly pauses the video on her laptop and glances up just as Jun walks over to her chair. He stops behind her and she cranes her neck all the way back so that he can kiss her on the lips. “Welcome home.”
“Thanks.” He kisses her again. “How did the interview go?”
“Well, thanks to a certain glowing recommendation from a certain glowing patron of the Takayanagi Ballet Company, although I won’t be able to have a part in their current production run…I will definitely be a part of their next run in three months!”
“Really?” When she nods he wraps his arms around her and hugs her so tight. “I’m so glad. You really deserve it.”
“Thank you,” she says, wrapping her arms over his and holding him closer. Her elbow accidentally hits the space bar and the video continues.
“You’re in love with me.”
“I am in love.”
Jun’s face snaps up and he groans. “Must you really watch this?” he asks, burying his face into her neck.
“I’m almost finished with season one!”
“How embarrassing.”
“It’s not embarrassing!”
“It is embarrasing!” He reaches around her to hit pause again. “Watch it when I’m not home!”
“I was, but then you came home!” Satomi grumbles. “So this is clearly all your fault.”
“Would you rather I never came home, then?” he asks, releasing her and raising his eyebrows.
Satomi glances from the Jun in front of her to the Jun on her screen, Domyouji Tsukasa with his puffy, poodle curls. “Only for one more season?”
He furrows his eyebrows.
“Okay, okay!” Satomi sighs, closing her laptop, but not without one last peek at the screen. Domyouji and Makino are silhouettes against the setting sun. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“How come you never dated Mao-chan?”
“It’s Mao-chan now, is it?” Jun replies with an amused smile.
“I’m asking seriously!”
“All right,” he says, sitting on the arm of her chair. “Mao-chan and I…we were together for so long that, by the end of it, I could never picture her romantically, especially not after all those late night filmings and intense kendama competitions. It was like she was more family than anything.” He pauses, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why do you look like I just sunk your ship or something?”
“But you two were so cute together!” she cries. “You overcame so many odds just to be with each other, and, and-”
“You know I’m not really Domyouji,” Jun deadpans. “And she’s not really Makino.”
“O-obviously I realize that,” Satomi sniffs. “But this truly is the love story of the ages. I can’t believe you didn’t fall in love with Mao-chan after all that.”
“A boyfriend might appreciate some jealousy instead of, you know, some weird desire to pawn me off to other girls.”
“I don’t want to pawn you off,” Satomi trails off, staring at the screen. “Wait, really? You would want me to be jealous?” He nods. “Would you get jealous over me?”
“In a heartbeat,” Jun replies seriously. “In fact, I’m pretty jealous of Domyouji these days. You seem much more smitten with him.”
“I’m nooot.” Satomi giggles. “Although, the curly hair may have grown on me.”
“That’s it!” he announces, picking her up and carrying her toward the bathroom. “You are taking a bubble bath with me right now.”
“But I hate getting pruny,” Satomi moans, though it doesn’t stop her from throwing her arms around Jun’s neck.
“Only one day, I was staying behind to finish my homework…and Toru-kun confessed to me. And even Yoko-chan…even she couldn’t stand to be around me after that.”
“…”
“So that’s why I know that it’s possible Masami-chan might have abandoned me, too. I met her in ballet school, which she quit early on, and we mostly stayed friends through email. But if we saw each other more than once every few months, or if we had attended school together…
“Anyway, that was the ultimate reason I chose London. I knew I had nothing to lose by leaving.”
“So…your problem was that you were too pretty?”
“Don’t make light of it! I didn’t ask to…I didn’t…see, this is why I don’t like talking about it. You don’t get it. You don’t understand that kind of loneliness. Talking with people, making friends, it comes so naturally to you, so easily. You have a way of drawing people toward you that I…that I’ve always envied.”
The Takayanagi Ballet Company is everything and nothing like the Royal Ballet Company. The stage is smaller, a little less grand, but it’s familiar in its essence, in energy. She is a swan again, so many months later, and her blood thrums in her veins. She can’t keep the smile off her face throughout the entire performance, even when Odette follows Sigfried into the depths of the lake.
She’s wiping the sweat off her face with a hand towel when someone taps her on the shoulder. “Ishihara-san, there’s someone at the door for you.”
Satomi blinks, but makes her way to the door, opens it to find a giant bouquet of vibrant lilies in the hands of none other than Matsumoto Jun.
“You didn’t have to…you said you were filming today!” Satomi laughs, unable to keep the smile off her face as she takes the bouquet and hugs it close to her chest.
“Ishihara Satomi-san,” he says, pulling off his sunglasses with a mischievous smile on his lips, “I assure you I don’t usually do this, but would you do me the honor of having dinner with me?”
After a bit of cajoling, Satomi manages to get Jun to cancel his reservations at a fancy restaurant and they end up eating at Satomi’s favorite ramen stand, a tiny shack whose owner is a sleepy old man with bad eyesight.
“Are you sure this is what you want to eat?” Jun asks, pulling back a dusty stool for her with a dubious frown. “This is a celebration.”
“I can’t think of any place better!”
Jun polishes off his bowl quickly and even orders an extra helping of noodles, all while completely ignoring Satomi’s smug grin. He thanks the owner and places down a few bills for the meal, stands and checks his watch. “Ah, I should get going.”
“Going? Going where?” Satomi pouts, causing Jun to immediately swoop down and kiss her.
“I need to go shopping for a segment I’m doing tomorrow. Something about mannequins and what to wear on a first date. You want to come with me?”
Satomi grins and shakes her head.
“I didn’t think so,” he says, kissing her one last time. “I’ll be back later. Wait up for me?”
Satomi nods, watches as dons his shades and makes his way into the crowded streets outside.
“Your husband is a lucky man,” the ramen owner remarks. Satomi giggles.
“O-oh, no. He’s not my husband.”
“No?” The old man shakes his head. “He sure has the look of a man in love, though.” He squints a little and frowns. “You know, he actually kind of looks like the man in this newspaper here.” He points to the paper left on the far side of the counter. Satomi lets out a little gasp at the sight.
It is Jun in the paper. And Satomi there next to him. Holding hands.
“Matsujun and Mystery Woman’s Secret Rendezvous!” the headline reads in bold characters.
“Would you…mind if I took this with me?”
“But that’s not true, Satomi.”
“What’s not?”
“It’s not easy for me either.”
“Don’t try to make me feel better.”
“I’m not. Look, remember how I told you that even though I was born in Chiba, I moved away when I was really young?”
“Mm, you said you only moved back in time for high school, like me.”
“And you remember why?”
“Your dad changed jobs a lot, right? So he was always moving you from place to place…”
“Yeah, and I hated it. I really hated it. I hated leaving my grandparents and I hated having to move schools, and I hated that my dad could never just stick with one job. But throughout everything, there was one thing that kept me happy.”
“What?”
“Baseball.”
“Baseball? You never mentioned playing baseball.”
“Well, see that’s the thing. I loved baseball, I loved watching it, loved collecting cards, and I wanted nothing more than to be a baseball player…”
“So why…?”
“I tried out for the baseball team at my second elementary school…and I remember swinging the bat, running for first base and then…waking up the next day in the hospital.”
“Ehh?!”
“Pneumothorax was the diagnosis.”
“I’m back!”
“W-welcome back!” Satomi exclaims, slamming her laptop shut. Jun raises an eyebrow. “Were you watching the second season?”
“Noooo,” Satomi replies, averting her gaze. “Of course not.”
“You are an awful liar,” Jun laughs, ruffling her hair.
“I’m not lying,” she insists, but fends off his prying hands from her laptop. “Anyway, guess what.”
“What?”
“Kiritani-san is pregnant.”
“Kiritani-san? Oh, that’s great.” Jun blinks. “Who’s Kiritani-san?”
“The swan princess.” Satomi’s smile grows as Jun’s eyes widen and his arms are around her at once, spinning her around and around.
“You got the lead?!”
“I got the lead!”
“I’m so proud of you!”
“Thank you! But put me down already, my head is spinning!” He does and Satomi feels dizzy but elated. “I’m even going to get interviewed for a show.”
“Oh, what show?”
“Um…NEWS something Japan…wait, the director texted it to me.” Satomi scrolls through her phone until she finds it. “Ah! Himitsu no Nippon-chan. Have you heard of it?”
“Doesn’t sound familiar,” Jun replies, tapping his finger against his chin. “But I’m sure it’ll be great.”
“They interview people in different industries to uncover secrets, or something like that? There’s no clear summary of the show online…” Satomi glances at her laptop and then shakes her head. “Anyway, what are you doing tonight? Should we get dinner to celebrate? Ramen?”
“Ah.” Jun frowns, shaking his head. “Sorry. I already made plans with Riisa-chan. I’m doing another one of those mannequin segments and she said she’d help me pick out an outfit.”
“Oh. I’ll go! I’ll go!” Satomi says, standing. Matsujun laughs and kisses her quickly.
“You hate shopping.”
“I don’t hate it.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t force you to come.”
“B-but…”
“We’ll celebrate tomorrow, okay? I’m off.” Jun waves with both hands before he leaves, shutting the door and locking it behind him.
“Bye…” Satomi says, staring after him. She turns back to her laptop and opens the browser.
Ishihara Satomi? Who the heck is that?!
She’s the slut dating Matsujun-sama. OUR Matsujun-sama.
Apparently they’re living together. Yuck!
She’s not even that good at dancing-I went to that first performance and she sucked!!!
How did someone like that get the lead?
Pfft. She’s sleeping with the director, obviously.
Ugh. She’s going to break Matsujun-sama’s heart AND ruin his career.
Don’t worry, he’ll get bored of her soon and dump her.
Yeah, he can date anyone but her.
What about Naka Riisa? They have SUPER chemistry together in the drama.
Ahhh, I love her! So much better than this skank from who knows where.
“Pneumothorax? But you run around all the time…”
“Well, I had a surgical procedure done, so I’m in better condition than I used to be. But I was really weak back then. I was in and out of the hospital all the time. No baseball. No saxophone. I could barely do any after school activities without coming close to passing out. And my father’s work continued to move us around everywhere.
“So at some point, between all the hospital visits and school moves, I sort of…forgot how to talk to kids. I was always moving in halfway through the term, and everyone already had their own friends. When they asked me to play with them, but I had to decline, they said I was no fun. When I tried to talk to them, they would call me weird. And eventually I would have to take days off from school to stay in the hospital, and all the kids would start to avoid me. Heh, they started calling me Frankenstein. And eventually…I just didn’t want to try anymore. Animals were much better company. They listened and they never judged you or called you any names.”
“…So then what happened?”
“We moved back to Chiba. My mom said that part of the reason I wasn’t getting any better was all the stress from our living situation, so she finally got my dad to agree to settle down. And so he decided to open Keikarou.
“I hated it. I hated him. I hated that my dad could just make such huge decisions on a whim and I hated even more that he didn’t just open up a restaurant in the first place. In the beginning, when the business was suffering, we would only eat food from the restaurant because otherwise the ingredients would spoil, and to this day I hate everything except for my mom’s mapo tofu…
“But I had another attack and had to stay at home for a few weeks, and the first day of school flew by. And…I don’t know. I just didn’t have the heart to try again.”
“And then what?”
“And then…someone came to visit me. Maki-chan.”
“Maki-chan?”
“She dropped off three weeks of homework and said she would help me out if I needed it. She said she hoped she would see me back in school again…”
“Sounds very like Maki-chan.”
“Mm, but here’s the thing. It started with one person, and it doesn’t even matter if it was just a passing thing to say to me, if she was only saying it to be nice. I needed those words at that time. Through Maki-chan I found the courage to go back to school again, but I had to make that decision by myself. And because I did, I got to know her and Nino and so many other friends. So it has nothing to do with me, Satomi. Really. It’s not some magic ability I have.”
“Is this okay?” she bursts out suddenly, just before they get into bed. Jun glances at her.
“You want to sleep on this side of the bed instead?”
“No, no,” Satomi frowns, shaking her head. “I mean this. Us. Is this okay?”
“What do you mean?” He sits on the bed and pats the space next to him, but she continues to stand.
“Am I getting in the way?”
“You’re not even on the bed.”
“Of your career,” Satomi bursts out. “Is it true you’re in a lot of trouble with your company? That you could get fired any day now?”
“Satomi-chan…”
“I’m not stupid. I’ve seen all the newspapers and articles. I can deal with people calling me names, I can, but I can’t stand the idea that I’m ruining your life.” she says finally, tears pooling down her face. “We can’t stay together.”
“Hey, hey,” Jun says, shaking his head and pulling her towards him. She can’t look him in the eye so she buries her head in his chest and sniffles all over him. He lets her cry until she’s all cried out, and then raises her head to look him in the eye. “I love you.”
“But what if love isn’t enough? Your company doesn’t allow you to date-but you never even told me that much!”
“Well, I didn’t think it was important…”
“Didn’t think it was important?!” Satomi sobs. “If your company won’t even let anyone…”
“I mean, I guess I could knock you up.”
“What?”
“The only guys in the company who got to stay with their girlfriends got them pregnant first. I guess if we did that, we could stay together. Get married.”
Satomi pushes off his chest and shakes her head. “What are you talking about? That’s not-marriage isn’t something to joke about!”
Dead silence. Satomi rubs her sleeves over her eyes and pushes off the bed. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight and move out by tomorrow.”
“Satomi-”
“If I can’t take everything, I’ll give you my address to deliver it to me.”
“Sato-oi!”
His arms are around her and they feel so warm, but they’re also crushing her and she can’t breathe. “I’m sorry. It was a joke.”
“It wasn’t a good joke at all. It doesn’t even count as a joke.”
“Sorry.”
She sniffs.
“I meant it, though. N-not the knocked up part.” He groans and rests his head helplessly against her shoulder. “I mean getting married. I want to marry you, agency be damned.”
“This isn’t romantic,” Satomi hiccups.
“But I’m telling the truth. Marry me, Ishihara Satomi. Stay with me forever.”
“…Okay.”
My image is slipping
but your memory is gripping it,
this is my breath in your lungs…
PART 4
From: cupid_johnny
Title: Echo
Pairing: Aiba Masaki/Horikita Maki • Aiba Masaki/Becky • Ishihara Satomi/Ohno Satoshi • Ishihara Satomi/Matsumoto Jun . . .
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Life is about chances and choices. (For history’s sake, would you please take notice?)
A/N: What can one even say to half of the most fabulous mod team, to whom anonymity rarely exists, except-surprise! ♥♥♥
“It’s not that I have regrets, not exactly. Just sometimes…sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had…done something else. Been something more.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm?”
“If you could live your life over again and do whatever you want, what would you do? No regrets, no consequences, what would you want to have done? Would you have become a nurse?”
“Knowing what I know now?”
“Knowing what you know now.”
“Hmmm…no, wait this is too hard. You go first?”
“Me? Well…okay, don’t laugh at this either.”
“Depends on what you say.”
“Back when I lived in Chiba, the first time I mean, we used to live with my grandparents. It was a small house, a little more removed from the city, and they had a massive backyard. My parents were always working, and I wasn’t in school just yet, so I would just…help my grandmother in the garden, follow her down row after row of vegetables, splooshing water everywhere because the watering can was too big for my hands.
“A little section of the garden in the backyard was fenced off, and that’s where my grandparents kept their…peafowls.”
“Peafowls?”
“Oh, that’s a milder reaction than I was expecting.”
“Peafowls are really beautiful, though. Who wouldn’t want them in their backyard?”
“I can think of a few people…but, anyway, whenever I think about those carefree days, I think…if I could have lived my life simply, just planted a garden and raised peafowls in my backyard, maybe even some chickens…I think I would have been happy.”
Two (Scavengers)
“Want to get some food?”
“E-excuse me?”
“Food.” He blinks at her. “You eat, right?” His hand finds her wrist easily, and he measures it with his thumb and forefinger. There’s a sizable gap between the two. “You should eat more-you’re so thin.”
Satomi jerks her hand back at the touch and catches sight of her watch. “Ah! I’m late!” she says, completely forgetting herself and running full-speed to school.
Ms. Esumi keeps her after for a whole hour to make up for the twenty minutes she was late. It’s helpful, actually, but it also means it’s pouring by the time she gets out. She passes Covent Garden Square and pauses at the corner of the intersection, taps her fingers over the handle of her umbrella and wonders if Andromeda was really devoured in the end.
“Okay, now you.”
“Already? Well…I guess…if I could have lived my life surrounded by people I love, people who loved me back-I would have been happy…”
“Oh, is that all?”
“What do you mean, is that all?”
“I just mean that you’re in luck!”
“Why?”
“Because that’s how you’re living right now, isn’t it?”
“Huh?”
“Being surrounded by people you love, who love you back!”
“Who?”
“Well there’s me, obviously. And Nino, Maki-chan, Becky, Sho-chan…”
“They’re not my friends, though, Masaki.”
“What are you talking about? Do you not like them?”
“N-no, of course that’s not it!”
“Then…?”
“I mean, they don’t really like me.”
“What? They love you.”
“They’re nice to me because I’m your girlfriend.”
“Miitan!”
Satomi glances up from the airport gate and an uncontrollable smile spreads over her face.
“Maachan!” She waves giddily, flails her arms over her head as Masami rolls her giant luggage toward her. Satomi meets her in the middle and they collide in a jumble of arms and giggles and delight.
“Your hair got so long!” Satomi gasps, twirling a long strand of Masami’s hair between her fingers. “I thought you always liked short hair.”
“I needed a change,” Masami grins. “And I always loved your hair.”
“So what do you want to see first?”
“Everything!” Masami demands, throwing her hands into the air. “I want to see the London Eye and Buckingham Palace and Trafalgar Square and Hyde Park and, and oooh! Big Ben! And-”
“You want to see all that in one day?” Satomi laughs, taking hold of Masami’s bag despite her protest. “We should at least drop your stuff off first.”
“Fiiiine.” Masami lets out a dramatic sigh. “And then everything!”
Masami passes out the second she sits down on Satomi’s bed. “Jus’ five min…Mii…” she mutters, rolling around in Satomi’s sheets without even changing.
Satomi rolls her eyes but continues to neatly unpack all of Masami’s belongings into the drawer she’s cleaned out for the occasion. “Okay,” Satomi promises, tucking her blanket over Masami’s chin with a smile.
“I mean…it…”
“Okay, okay.”
Masami wakes with a scream five short hours later, just as Satomi’s straightening her bangs. Satomi almost drops the straightener into the sink in her rush to check on Masami. “What? What is it?!”
“You let me sleep!” Masami cries, balling her fists into the sheets.
“Oh, is that all?” Satomi sighs in relief. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Oh is that all?! I slept through my entire first day here! And you were going to let me sleep all the way through the night, past your performance?!”
“I’m performing again tomorrow. And we have two whole weeks to go explore London. You should sleep-you look exhausted.” Masami fights a yawn as if on cue and Satomi points triumphantly. “See!”
“Fine, I’m sleepy! I’m jetlagged. So what! Where you say two whole weeks, I say only two weeks! Just two weeks is barely enough time at all after how many years of not seeing each other at all.”
“Okay,” Satomi cuts in, knowing if Masami continues on her impassioned tirade there will be no stopping her. “But I’m leaving now to rehearse.”
“I’ll go with you!”
“You should get something to eat first,” Satomi trails off, furrowing her eyebrows. “Get some food and then come when the show starts. I’ve left your ticket on the nightstand.”
“I. Am. Going. With. You.” Masami repeats, and Satomi knows she’s fighting a losing battle.
“All right, all right, get ready, then. I’m leaving soon.”
“You may want to do something about those bangs first.”
“Huh?”
Masami points to the vanity mirror and Satomi cranes her neck to get a better look-her bangs are flipped completely upward. Masami bursts out laughing.
“Hey, this happened because you screamed. Help me fix it!”
“Okay,” Masami chuckles, wiping at her eyes. “But I always work for a fee.” Masami’s hands quickly reach for her cell phone and then there is a click and a flash that leaves Satomi seeing stars. “Blackmail shot!”
Satomi groans. “Why am I friends with you?”
“Because otherwise you’d have none,” Masami replies, blowing her a raspberry, before cracking up anew at the picture.
“What? Don’t be crazy. That’s not the only reason-”
“You don’t have to be nice about it, Masaki, it’s okay.”
“But really! Every time Maki-chan calls me, she spends more time asking about you than about me. And Becky has been bugging me to get you to go on this girls’ weekend trip she’s been planning forever. You still haven’t given me an answer, by the way.”
“I’m not saying your friends aren’t nice, because they are. They are…really, really nice. Because they’re your friends and they’re also all in relationships is the only reason…”
“What does that have to to with any-”
“It does, Masaki. You just don’t understand.”
“Try me. Why don’t you want to go on a trip with them?”
“It would…it would just be a bother if I actually accepted.”
“That’s nonsense. If they didn’t want to hang out with you they wouldn’t-”
“Stop, please. Really I…talking with people-becoming friends-it’s just not something I can do. A-and I’m okay with it. So just drop it, okay? Please?”
“What about Masami-chan?”
“What about her?”
“She’s your best friend, Satomi, and if she can be your friend, why can’t-”
“Masami-chan is…I think if I had stayed in Japan, in Tokyo, if we had gone to the same high school like we planned…I think she wouldn’t have stayed my friend, either…”
“That was amazing, Satomi-chan!” Masami cries, tackling Satomi in the dressing room. Satomi barely has her makeup off, and her hair is still tightly curled into a bun, but she accepts the hug with open arms.
“You think so?” Satomi asks wiping down her face with a towel, trying to hide the growing smile on her face.
“Even better than the lead,” Masami replies, loudly and dramatically, which makes Satomi giggle anew.
“Shh! Don’t say something like that! What if someone hears you?”
“She has her own dressing room, doesn’t she?” Satomi nods. “Then it’s fine, right?” Masami beams. “Besides, I mean it. You really were the best part of the show. Better than the lead!”
A few of the other dancers glance over, tittering in response, and Satomi ducks her head in apology, though she hasn’t managed to wipe the silly grin off her face.
“And you are incredibly biased,” Satomi says, letting her hair loose. “And I love you for it.”
“You should.” Masami nods sagely. “I am very loveable. Now let’s get some food before I-” Masami trails off, swaying on her feet until her knees buckle right under her.
Satomi barely manages to catch her before she hits the floor. “Masami-chan?! Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Masami murmurs, blinking and shaking her head. “Fine.” She stands on her own, but not without swaying one last time, leaning against Satomi for support. “I must be hungrier than I thought.” She rubs her stomach and it growls in reply.
“This is why I told you to go eat!” Satomi huffs, keeping an arm around Masami’s shoulders and leading her to a chair.
“I was afraid I’d pass out again and miss the show…I had some coffee just before it started, if that helps?”
“It doesn’t. In fact that’s probably worse, did you even have any water?!”
Masami looks up at her with giant, helpless doe eyes and shakes her head.
Satomi sighs. “Okay, let me get you some water first, then I’ll quickly change and we’ll get some food for you, okay?”
“Okay, but don’t take too long,” Masami says, tugging on Satomi’s wrist, further proof that she must be starving. Masami only becomes incredibly clingy and sweet when she’s hungry or drunk.
Satomi means to get some water from the cooler down the hallway, but doesn’t make it past the door. Satomi squeaks, bumping straight into…something cold and crinkly. Oh, excuse me!” she exclaims in English, bowing in apology. She doesn’t mean to notice it, but she catches the glint of gold on the pinky toe of a foot that seems decidedly male. Satomi follows her gaze up a pair of dark denim jeans, to a giant, crinkly bouquet of vibrant orange and pink lilies, up further to a smooth, angular face. With his windswept hair, leather jacket, and dark sunglasses, he looks like, well, like something out of a movie. “Hello. May I help you?”
“Hello,” he replies, reaching up with one hand to pull off his sunglasses. “You are…?” he trails off, frowning, before trying again in Japanese. “Are you Ishihara Satomi-san?”
“Ah, yes,” Satomi replies, falling back into her native tongue with a little difficulty. “Are you looking for some-”
He presses the bouquet of flowers right into her arms and she blinks. “Um?”
“I don’t ever do this, but,” he says, says hastily, bringing a hand to ruffle his hair, “would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tonight?”
“H-huh?” Satomi blinks again, fumbling with a bouquet much too large and gorgeous to really be for her. This must be some kind of dream. “Me?”
He nods, somewhat bashfully. “Yes.”
“But I…?” Satomi trails off, at a loss. She reaches a hand to pinch at her warming cheeks.
It hurts.
“Mii-tan, what’s taking so long?” Two arms circle Satomi from behind and she feels the comfortable weight of Masami’s head on her shoulder. Masami’s chin lifts slightly and then she is screeching straight into Satomi’s ear, “Is that Matsuchuun-sama?!”
Satomi almost knocks their heads together when she glances back at her. “Do you know him?”
“Everyone knows him,” Masami replies faintly, her arms tightening around Satomi’s waist. “Is this real? Did I starve to death? Am I in heaven?”
“No, you’re not in heaven,” Satomi replies, removing herself from Masami’s embrace to get a better look at her. “Your pupils do look a little dilated, though…”
“What is going on here?! Are you really Matsuchuun-sama?!” Masami demands, fighting Satomi’s hands away from her face. She steps up to him and lifts her chin to full height before poking him in the chest. “Or is this just some weird imposter?!”
“Ah, Masami-chan, don’t do that!” Satomi says, stepping in between them and shaking her head. “That’s rude.”
“I assure you, Masami-san, I am not some weird imposter.” He smiles and Masami squeaks, eyes wide.
“I touched him!”
“Masami-chan…”
“May I have your autograph?” Masami says, completely shiny-eyed and adoring.
“Of course.” The words are barely out of his lips before Masami squeaks anew and runs back into the dressing room to find some pen and paper.
“I-I’m so sorry for all this,” Satomi says, bowing again in apology. “She just got off the plane and hasn’t adjusted to the time difference yet.”
“There is nothing to apologize for.”
Satomi smiles. “Thank you, Matsuchuun-san.”
“Ah, no, Matsuchuun is an unfortunate nickname I’ve apparently been given on the internet.” He chuckles. “A version of my stage nickname, Matsujun, which is a portmanteau of Matsumoto Jun.”
“Oh I see!” Satomi nods. “Um, about before, then, Matsumoto-san, did you-”
“Found it!” Masami reemerges with a crisp sheet of paper and a silver marker, which Matsumoto takes and autographs against the wall with great, flourishing strokes. “Thank you so much!” Masami squeals, pressing the autographed paper to her chest. “But what are you doing in…” Masami trails off, suddenly aware of the large bouquet of flowers in Satomi’s hands. “Oh. Ohhhhhh.” She points between them with a gaping mouth. “Are you…?”
“Well, yes. I came here to ask Ishihara-san to dinner.” Matsumoto smiles a little. “Although I still haven’t received an answer…”
“I-”
“She’d love to,” Masami replies at once, shoving Satomi forward.
Satomi shoots her a frown. “What about dinner?”
“Woman, Matsuchuun-sama is asking you to dinner. That’s what’s about dinner.”
“You’re sick.”
“I’m fine!”
“You just got into London!”
“This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”
“You visiting me is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity as well!”
“Um,” Matsumoto says, raising a hand.
“She’s coming!” Masami yelps before Satomi covers her mouth with her hand and says, “I’m terribly sorry, Matsumoto-san. But I must decline-”
“You are not declining-mmph!”
“You’re welcome to join us, ah, Masami-san, was it?” Matsumoto cuts in smoothly. “I would be more than happy to dine in the company of two lovely ladies.”
Masami flushes violently but shakes her head. “I-I-thank you, that’s very kind, but I’m sure that would be an inconvenience.” She turns to Satomi. “But you, you go.”
“But.”
“If you don’t go, I will no longer be your friend.”
Satomi pouts.
“Besides, remember that friend I told you about? She landed a few days ago and is staying with her dad right now. I can just visit her sooner rather than later.”
“Free dinner and you get to keep your friend sounds like a good deal to me.”
Satomi bites her lip and glances from Masami’s eager face to Matsumoto’s disarming smile. “Well, I suppose no one could say no to that,” she stammers at last.
Matsumoto offers her an arm, which Masami pushes her to take.
“You’ve got the keys to my apartment?” she asks worriedly, and Masami laughs and pushes them along.
“Yes, yes, now go and have fun you two!” she calls, before leaning in one last time to whisper in Satomi’s ear, “Tell me everything when you get back.”
He takes her to some high-class, fancy French place, and she can’t read the name of the restaurant, let alone anything on the menu. He orders for the both of them and is content to make small talk as they wait. He asks her about life in London and how long she’s been here and whether she’s been to this restaurant before. She tries to answer each of his question sincerely, but every time she glances at him, his eyes are so focused on her that she can do nothing but stammer and blush and avert her gaze. She hadn’t quite noticed how handsome he was until he was sitting across from her, so close to her, here, together, bathed in romantic candlelight.
Dinner is eaten carefully, in a haze, trying her hardest not to scratch the silverware that may very well be made of silver. She barely remembers to say, “Th-thank you,” just as they leave the restaurant. All this heart-hammering must be very bad for her. “Dinner was amazing, and the bouquet was very beautiful. You really shouldn’t have…”
“I think it was easier to talk to you when you had no inkling of who I was,” Matsumoto says with a wistful little smile.
“I-I’m sorry!” Satomi exclaims, bowing profusely. “I hope you have a lovely night.”
“Ah, Ishihara-san, I did have one last appointment for the night…I would be honored if you might accompany me?”
She really doesn’t understand why he would feel any honor to spend more time with her, but she nods because it’s the only thing she can do without looking at him.
Less than an hour later she’s gasping with delight in the very top car of the London Eye. Her hands are pressed to the glass window, face so close she’s fogging up the glass, but she can’t help it. “It’s funny,” Satomi says, sitting back in her seat and marveling at the London skyline.
“What is?”
“I’ve lived in London for over five years now, but it’s never seemed as beautiful as it has just now.”
“That’s funny,” Jun replies.
“What is?”
“I was just thinking-I’ve been in London for five days, and it’s never seemed as beautiful as it has just now.”
Satomi glances over at him to reply, but realizes only then that he’s staring back at her.
“How can you say that about Masami-chan?!”
“It’s just something I know from experience.”
“What experience?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it, Masaki.”
“Satomi.”
Satomi wakes to sunlight flitting over her eyelids, enveloped in silken sheets. To her right, Jun snores softly, face pressed into the pillow, hair in complete disarray.
“Awake?” Matsujun mumbles, cracking his sleepy eyes open.
“Mm, but not for long,” Satomi whispers in reply.
“Whatimissit?”
“Early.”
“Too early.”
Satomi giggles. “Too early.”
Jun whines nasally through his nose, eyes drooping shut and lips smacking together sleepily. Satomi likes him best in the morning, when he’s still sleepy and silly and completely vulnerable, when he’s less like a star and more like any other man weak to mornings. She reaches her hand to smooth out the pillow wrinkles in his cheek, and his hand comes up to claim hers.
“Go back to sleep.”
“I can’t,” Satomi admits, curling her body to the side, toward him. “I’m thinking.”
“About what?” Jun’s eyes are fully open now, though they are still cloudy with fatigue.
“About my life,” Satomi begins. “About how perfect it seems right in this very moment.”
He smiles and twines their fingers together, pulls her closer so that their noses are almost touching.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Hmm,” he agrees, pressing a kiss to her nose.
“Why me?”
“Why you what?”
“On the night of the Swan Lake performance-when you came to the dressing room looking for me…why me?”
“Oh, that?” He smiles lazily and swoops his face lower to steal a kiss from her lips. “I actually got lost on my way to Mizuhara Kiko’s dressing room.”
“Jun-san!”
He laughs and steals another kiss. “You’re adorable.”
“Flattery won’t help,” Satomi huffs, sticking out her tongue and rolling away to the edge of the bed. “I’m still mad at you.”
“I’ll tell you the real reason if you come back.”
She eyes him warily but scoots a tiny bit closer. “You may proceed.”
“You’ve got to come closer than that.”
Satomi pouts, but wriggles another tiny bit closer.
“So, yeah, I know. Everyone’s attention should have been on Odette and Sigfried and their impassioned declarations of love, of their desire to die together rather than ever part. And yet…”
“And yet?”
“And yet one of the other swan maidens caught my attention. A swan who, in the midst of tragedy, could not keep this radiant smile off her face. I thought…I thought I really needed to meet this swan.”
“Oh?”
“This swan who smiles even as Odette and her prince condemn themselves to the bottom of the lake. This very sadistic swan.”
“Hey! I wasn’t! That!” Satomi stutters, protests, and Jun breaks out into laughter.
Satomi reaches both hands to mess with his hair, but he ducks under the covers and trails sloppy kisses all along her stomach, making her gasp with laughter. “Unfair!” she cries, scrambling for the covers and taking them with her as she rolls clean off the bed. He leaps off the bed and reaches her before she untangle herself from the sheets, scoops her up and tosses her back onto the bed. He has that look on his face that means he’s about to kiss her senseless, but then there’s a knock at the door and he frowns.
“Did you order something?”
Satomi shakes her head
The knocking persists.
“Lend me your sheet?”
Satomi giggles but complies, watches him wrap the sheet around his waist before scrambling under the comforter as he heads for the door.
“Hello-?”
“Matsujun, what the hell were you thinking?!”
“Hey, don’t go in there…”
Satomi shrieks as an unfamiliar man barges into the room. She brings the comforter closer to her body as he turns away, adjusts his glasses, and then sighs. “Really, Matsujun, really? All this fuss for a girl?”
“Jun-san, what is he…?”
“You were due back in Japan ten days ago. Ten days! Do you know many appearances you’ve missed? The public is in an uproar, everyone is seriously pissed off, and you’re holed in a fancy hotel with some London bimbo-”
Jun’s hands are on the stranger’s collar before Satomi can utter a sound. “Don’t call her a bimbo,” he says coolly, just before the sheet drops.
Satomi covers her mouth with her hands.
The stranger rolls his eyes and pushes Jun off of him, dusts off the front of his shirt and adjusts his collar so that it’s perfectly back in place. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”
“Kaname-kun, will you just-”
“No, Matsujun, you just-just!” Kaname roars, poking him in the chest. “Get dressed! We’re going back to Japan tomorrow!”
He marches halfway across the room before turning back, clearing his throat and bowing in Satomi’s direction. “I truly am sorry about earlier, ma’am, please accept my sincerest apologies.” He then turns quickly on his heel and leaves the room, closing the door carefully behind him.
“Who…what?” Satomi blubbers as Jun sighs and rubs at the back of his head.
“That was Kaname Jun, my agent. He’s a little…prickly, but he has good intentions.”
“Did you really miss a lot of important appearances?” Satomi asks, guiltily.
“Probably.” He frowns and cracks his neck from side to side.
“Do you really have to leave tomorrow morning?”
“Probably.”
“Oh,” Satomi nods, biting her lip. “So this is goodbye.” It’s not like she didn’t see it coming. His life is in Japan and hers is in England.
“Always so eager to say goodbye to me, Satomi-san,” Jun replies, shaking his head.
“I don’t mean to,” Satomi trails off. What is she supposed to say otherwise?
“Satomi-san, I don’t ever do this, and this may sound a little crazy, but…would you ever consider coming back to Japan?”
“I…well…I used to live in Tokyo, you know? And I had a lot of friends growing up, I mean, in the way kids are all friends. During middle school, girls started to have crushes on boys and boys started to have crushes on girls, but I was just happy to just be around my friends.
“Somehow, though…I was an early bloomer, I guess. Boys took notice of me even though I didn’t really notice them back, but the girls did. One day they just…didn’t talk to me much anymore. I couldn’t understand it. But then I started to overhear them…
“They were whispering about me, about the boys who confessed to me, the same boys my friends had crushes on. Even though I never accepted any of the confessions, a divide was drawn that year. It was the same the next year, too. And the next. I would make friends with the girls in my class, but then, slowly, the distance would widen. And somehow…I would be left alone.
“So I begged, begged, begged my parents to move. I couldn’t take anymore. I wanted a fresh start. So we moved to Chiba because of my aunt and uncle. Yuko-san was already in college, but I just thought that, in a new school, things could be different. I wanted things to be different. And things were different. At first.
“Yoko-chan was funny and energetic and loud-mouthed and she defended me when the girls started whispering. She would ask why they were angry at me when they should really be angry at those stupid boys. And I was so…so happy.
“She was friends with Toru-kun in the year above us-they grew up together and always spent time with each other, and the three of us would always walk home together because we lived nearby. I didn’t like boys back then. They were the reason I didn’t have friends, the reason I was never invited out with the girls, but Toru-kun was nice. I never minded hanging out with him because Yoko-chan liked him. He must be a good person.
“Only…”
“Only…?”
“You’re happy, aren’t you?”
“That’s impossible.”
“Liar.”
“I’m home!”
Satomi quickly pauses the video on her laptop and glances up just as Jun walks over to her chair. He stops behind her and she cranes her neck all the way back so that he can kiss her on the lips. “Welcome home.”
“Thanks.” He kisses her again. “How did the interview go?”
“Well, thanks to a certain glowing recommendation from a certain glowing patron of the Takayanagi Ballet Company, although I won’t be able to have a part in their current production run…I will definitely be a part of their next run in three months!”
“Really?” When she nods he wraps his arms around her and hugs her so tight. “I’m so glad. You really deserve it.”
“Thank you,” she says, wrapping her arms over his and holding him closer. Her elbow accidentally hits the space bar and the video continues.
“You’re in love with me.”
“I am in love.”
Jun’s face snaps up and he groans. “Must you really watch this?” he asks, burying his face into her neck.
“I’m almost finished with season one!”
“How embarrassing.”
“It’s not embarrassing!”
“It is embarrasing!” He reaches around her to hit pause again. “Watch it when I’m not home!”
“I was, but then you came home!” Satomi grumbles. “So this is clearly all your fault.”
“Would you rather I never came home, then?” he asks, releasing her and raising his eyebrows.
Satomi glances from the Jun in front of her to the Jun on her screen, Domyouji Tsukasa with his puffy, poodle curls. “Only for one more season?”
He furrows his eyebrows.
“Okay, okay!” Satomi sighs, closing her laptop, but not without one last peek at the screen. Domyouji and Makino are silhouettes against the setting sun. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“How come you never dated Mao-chan?”
“It’s Mao-chan now, is it?” Jun replies with an amused smile.
“I’m asking seriously!”
“All right,” he says, sitting on the arm of her chair. “Mao-chan and I…we were together for so long that, by the end of it, I could never picture her romantically, especially not after all those late night filmings and intense kendama competitions. It was like she was more family than anything.” He pauses, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why do you look like I just sunk your ship or something?”
“But you two were so cute together!” she cries. “You overcame so many odds just to be with each other, and, and-”
“You know I’m not really Domyouji,” Jun deadpans. “And she’s not really Makino.”
“O-obviously I realize that,” Satomi sniffs. “But this truly is the love story of the ages. I can’t believe you didn’t fall in love with Mao-chan after all that.”
“A boyfriend might appreciate some jealousy instead of, you know, some weird desire to pawn me off to other girls.”
“I don’t want to pawn you off,” Satomi trails off, staring at the screen. “Wait, really? You would want me to be jealous?” He nods. “Would you get jealous over me?”
“In a heartbeat,” Jun replies seriously. “In fact, I’m pretty jealous of Domyouji these days. You seem much more smitten with him.”
“I’m nooot.” Satomi giggles. “Although, the curly hair may have grown on me.”
“That’s it!” he announces, picking her up and carrying her toward the bathroom. “You are taking a bubble bath with me right now.”
“But I hate getting pruny,” Satomi moans, though it doesn’t stop her from throwing her arms around Jun’s neck.
“Only one day, I was staying behind to finish my homework…and Toru-kun confessed to me. And even Yoko-chan…even she couldn’t stand to be around me after that.”
“…”
“So that’s why I know that it’s possible Masami-chan might have abandoned me, too. I met her in ballet school, which she quit early on, and we mostly stayed friends through email. But if we saw each other more than once every few months, or if we had attended school together…
“Anyway, that was the ultimate reason I chose London. I knew I had nothing to lose by leaving.”
“So…your problem was that you were too pretty?”
“Don’t make light of it! I didn’t ask to…I didn’t…see, this is why I don’t like talking about it. You don’t get it. You don’t understand that kind of loneliness. Talking with people, making friends, it comes so naturally to you, so easily. You have a way of drawing people toward you that I…that I’ve always envied.”
The Takayanagi Ballet Company is everything and nothing like the Royal Ballet Company. The stage is smaller, a little less grand, but it’s familiar in its essence, in energy. She is a swan again, so many months later, and her blood thrums in her veins. She can’t keep the smile off her face throughout the entire performance, even when Odette follows Sigfried into the depths of the lake.
She’s wiping the sweat off her face with a hand towel when someone taps her on the shoulder. “Ishihara-san, there’s someone at the door for you.”
Satomi blinks, but makes her way to the door, opens it to find a giant bouquet of vibrant lilies in the hands of none other than Matsumoto Jun.
“You didn’t have to…you said you were filming today!” Satomi laughs, unable to keep the smile off her face as she takes the bouquet and hugs it close to her chest.
“Ishihara Satomi-san,” he says, pulling off his sunglasses with a mischievous smile on his lips, “I assure you I don’t usually do this, but would you do me the honor of having dinner with me?”
After a bit of cajoling, Satomi manages to get Jun to cancel his reservations at a fancy restaurant and they end up eating at Satomi’s favorite ramen stand, a tiny shack whose owner is a sleepy old man with bad eyesight.
“Are you sure this is what you want to eat?” Jun asks, pulling back a dusty stool for her with a dubious frown. “This is a celebration.”
“I can’t think of any place better!”
Jun polishes off his bowl quickly and even orders an extra helping of noodles, all while completely ignoring Satomi’s smug grin. He thanks the owner and places down a few bills for the meal, stands and checks his watch. “Ah, I should get going.”
“Going? Going where?” Satomi pouts, causing Jun to immediately swoop down and kiss her.
“I need to go shopping for a segment I’m doing tomorrow. Something about mannequins and what to wear on a first date. You want to come with me?”
Satomi grins and shakes her head.
“I didn’t think so,” he says, kissing her one last time. “I’ll be back later. Wait up for me?”
Satomi nods, watches as dons his shades and makes his way into the crowded streets outside.
“Your husband is a lucky man,” the ramen owner remarks. Satomi giggles.
“O-oh, no. He’s not my husband.”
“No?” The old man shakes his head. “He sure has the look of a man in love, though.” He squints a little and frowns. “You know, he actually kind of looks like the man in this newspaper here.” He points to the paper left on the far side of the counter. Satomi lets out a little gasp at the sight.
It is Jun in the paper. And Satomi there next to him. Holding hands.
“Matsujun and Mystery Woman’s Secret Rendezvous!” the headline reads in bold characters.
“Would you…mind if I took this with me?”
“But that’s not true, Satomi.”
“What’s not?”
“It’s not easy for me either.”
“Don’t try to make me feel better.”
“I’m not. Look, remember how I told you that even though I was born in Chiba, I moved away when I was really young?”
“Mm, you said you only moved back in time for high school, like me.”
“And you remember why?”
“Your dad changed jobs a lot, right? So he was always moving you from place to place…”
“Yeah, and I hated it. I really hated it. I hated leaving my grandparents and I hated having to move schools, and I hated that my dad could never just stick with one job. But throughout everything, there was one thing that kept me happy.”
“What?”
“Baseball.”
“Baseball? You never mentioned playing baseball.”
“Well, see that’s the thing. I loved baseball, I loved watching it, loved collecting cards, and I wanted nothing more than to be a baseball player…”
“So why…?”
“I tried out for the baseball team at my second elementary school…and I remember swinging the bat, running for first base and then…waking up the next day in the hospital.”
“Ehh?!”
“Pneumothorax was the diagnosis.”
“I’m back!”
“W-welcome back!” Satomi exclaims, slamming her laptop shut. Jun raises an eyebrow. “Were you watching the second season?”
“Noooo,” Satomi replies, averting her gaze. “Of course not.”
“You are an awful liar,” Jun laughs, ruffling her hair.
“I’m not lying,” she insists, but fends off his prying hands from her laptop. “Anyway, guess what.”
“What?”
“Kiritani-san is pregnant.”
“Kiritani-san? Oh, that’s great.” Jun blinks. “Who’s Kiritani-san?”
“The swan princess.” Satomi’s smile grows as Jun’s eyes widen and his arms are around her at once, spinning her around and around.
“You got the lead?!”
“I got the lead!”
“I’m so proud of you!”
“Thank you! But put me down already, my head is spinning!” He does and Satomi feels dizzy but elated. “I’m even going to get interviewed for a show.”
“Oh, what show?”
“Um…NEWS something Japan…wait, the director texted it to me.” Satomi scrolls through her phone until she finds it. “Ah! Himitsu no Nippon-chan. Have you heard of it?”
“Doesn’t sound familiar,” Jun replies, tapping his finger against his chin. “But I’m sure it’ll be great.”
“They interview people in different industries to uncover secrets, or something like that? There’s no clear summary of the show online…” Satomi glances at her laptop and then shakes her head. “Anyway, what are you doing tonight? Should we get dinner to celebrate? Ramen?”
“Ah.” Jun frowns, shaking his head. “Sorry. I already made plans with Riisa-chan. I’m doing another one of those mannequin segments and she said she’d help me pick out an outfit.”
“Oh. I’ll go! I’ll go!” Satomi says, standing. Matsujun laughs and kisses her quickly.
“You hate shopping.”
“I don’t hate it.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t force you to come.”
“B-but…”
“We’ll celebrate tomorrow, okay? I’m off.” Jun waves with both hands before he leaves, shutting the door and locking it behind him.
“Bye…” Satomi says, staring after him. She turns back to her laptop and opens the browser.
Ishihara Satomi? Who the heck is that?!
She’s the slut dating Matsujun-sama. OUR Matsujun-sama.
Apparently they’re living together. Yuck!
She’s not even that good at dancing-I went to that first performance and she sucked!!!
How did someone like that get the lead?
Pfft. She’s sleeping with the director, obviously.
Ugh. She’s going to break Matsujun-sama’s heart AND ruin his career.
Don’t worry, he’ll get bored of her soon and dump her.
Yeah, he can date anyone but her.
What about Naka Riisa? They have SUPER chemistry together in the drama.
Ahhh, I love her! So much better than this skank from who knows where.
“Pneumothorax? But you run around all the time…”
“Well, I had a surgical procedure done, so I’m in better condition than I used to be. But I was really weak back then. I was in and out of the hospital all the time. No baseball. No saxophone. I could barely do any after school activities without coming close to passing out. And my father’s work continued to move us around everywhere.
“So at some point, between all the hospital visits and school moves, I sort of…forgot how to talk to kids. I was always moving in halfway through the term, and everyone already had their own friends. When they asked me to play with them, but I had to decline, they said I was no fun. When I tried to talk to them, they would call me weird. And eventually I would have to take days off from school to stay in the hospital, and all the kids would start to avoid me. Heh, they started calling me Frankenstein. And eventually…I just didn’t want to try anymore. Animals were much better company. They listened and they never judged you or called you any names.”
“…So then what happened?”
“We moved back to Chiba. My mom said that part of the reason I wasn’t getting any better was all the stress from our living situation, so she finally got my dad to agree to settle down. And so he decided to open Keikarou.
“I hated it. I hated him. I hated that my dad could just make such huge decisions on a whim and I hated even more that he didn’t just open up a restaurant in the first place. In the beginning, when the business was suffering, we would only eat food from the restaurant because otherwise the ingredients would spoil, and to this day I hate everything except for my mom’s mapo tofu…
“But I had another attack and had to stay at home for a few weeks, and the first day of school flew by. And…I don’t know. I just didn’t have the heart to try again.”
“And then what?”
“And then…someone came to visit me. Maki-chan.”
“Maki-chan?”
“She dropped off three weeks of homework and said she would help me out if I needed it. She said she hoped she would see me back in school again…”
“Sounds very like Maki-chan.”
“Mm, but here’s the thing. It started with one person, and it doesn’t even matter if it was just a passing thing to say to me, if she was only saying it to be nice. I needed those words at that time. Through Maki-chan I found the courage to go back to school again, but I had to make that decision by myself. And because I did, I got to know her and Nino and so many other friends. So it has nothing to do with me, Satomi. Really. It’s not some magic ability I have.”
“Is this okay?” she bursts out suddenly, just before they get into bed. Jun glances at her.
“You want to sleep on this side of the bed instead?”
“No, no,” Satomi frowns, shaking her head. “I mean this. Us. Is this okay?”
“What do you mean?” He sits on the bed and pats the space next to him, but she continues to stand.
“Am I getting in the way?”
“You’re not even on the bed.”
“Of your career,” Satomi bursts out. “Is it true you’re in a lot of trouble with your company? That you could get fired any day now?”
“Satomi-chan…”
“I’m not stupid. I’ve seen all the newspapers and articles. I can deal with people calling me names, I can, but I can’t stand the idea that I’m ruining your life.” she says finally, tears pooling down her face. “We can’t stay together.”
“Hey, hey,” Jun says, shaking his head and pulling her towards him. She can’t look him in the eye so she buries her head in his chest and sniffles all over him. He lets her cry until she’s all cried out, and then raises her head to look him in the eye. “I love you.”
“But what if love isn’t enough? Your company doesn’t allow you to date-but you never even told me that much!”
“Well, I didn’t think it was important…”
“Didn’t think it was important?!” Satomi sobs. “If your company won’t even let anyone…”
“I mean, I guess I could knock you up.”
“What?”
“The only guys in the company who got to stay with their girlfriends got them pregnant first. I guess if we did that, we could stay together. Get married.”
Satomi pushes off his chest and shakes her head. “What are you talking about? That’s not-marriage isn’t something to joke about!”
Dead silence. Satomi rubs her sleeves over her eyes and pushes off the bed. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight and move out by tomorrow.”
“Satomi-”
“If I can’t take everything, I’ll give you my address to deliver it to me.”
“Sato-oi!”
His arms are around her and they feel so warm, but they’re also crushing her and she can’t breathe. “I’m sorry. It was a joke.”
“It wasn’t a good joke at all. It doesn’t even count as a joke.”
“Sorry.”
She sniffs.
“I meant it, though. N-not the knocked up part.” He groans and rests his head helplessly against her shoulder. “I mean getting married. I want to marry you, agency be damned.”
“This isn’t romantic,” Satomi hiccups.
“But I’m telling the truth. Marry me, Ishihara Satomi. Stay with me forever.”
“…Okay.”
My image is slipping
but your memory is gripping it,
this is my breath in your lungs…
PART 4