Chocolate fic for nillahoney
To: nillahoney
From: cupid_johnny
Title: Nonsensical Nonsensicals
Pairing: Nishikido Ryo/Kitagawa Keiko
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryo never talks to co-stars. It's his unwritten rule, of sorts. But then Keiko goes and ruins that, and forces her way into his life. Whether he wants her to or not.
A/N: I hope this is alright, nillahoney!Any reference to scenes in Dakishimetai I made up, so there are no spoilers.
"You know what smells great?"
It starts like this.
Ryo's having a break from first-day filming, resting in the shade of an old tree and taking careful sips of water every so often, watching the clouds roll by one by one. The movie set is bustling with noise, people yelling and snapping at each otherand pieces of heavy equipment being lifted here and there and Ryo feels like a nuisance in the middle of all that, so he separates himself. The tree is good company; it isn't loud, it isn't yelling, and it has no objection over the fact that Ryo is leaning against it.
But then his happy little silence is broken by her voice.
Her shadow falls across his as she nears, but he doesn't look at her. He grunts to let her know he's heard her and takes another sip of water for something to do. He doesn't care about smells. He has no idea why she's asking him about smells.
"Honey," Keiko answers, and Ryo's eyes slide over to her. She has a huge grin on her face and she sort of shrugs her shoulders happily. "What? It does," she adds, at his incredulous look. Ryo doesn't care, but she's making herself comfortable against his tree and he has no say against it. "Have you never smelled it before, Nishikido-san?" She's talking to the grass she's running her fingers through but her voice floats up to him anyway; he makes a noise that neither says yes or no and takes another sip.
The director calls for them, then, and they walk back. She sort of skips, happiness eminent in her every move - she's still smiling that ridiculous grin and Ryo doesn't know what's so great. He drags his feet up after her, wondering how she can be so happy when they have a whole day of filming ahead of them.
Her eyes are big and brown and they shine when she laughs.
---
"My name's Kitagawa Keiko," she introduces, which makes no sense since they've already exchanged greetings and formalities - and since it's the second week of filming.
Ryo just watches her awhile, wondering what she's playing at. But she seems innocent enough, with her round face and dimples, and so he just shakes his head and reaches for the hand she's extended towards him. "Nishikido Ryo," he grumbles, because that's his default setting when talking to people he's unfamiliar with. It doesn't deter her, though, and Ryo doesn't know whether he likes that or not.
"Tell me about yourself, Nishikido Ryo," Keiko says. They've been shooting scenes all day and they're allowed to go home now. It's creeping towards three in the morning and Ryo wants to do nothing more than to crawl into bed and pull the covers over his head. He doesn't want to tell his life story to this woman he barely knows.
"Later," he says gruffly, shrugging on his coat and shouldering his bag. "I'm leaving. Good work today." Three sentences - sentences? - are pretty good for Ryo, who doesn't like to leave his comfort zone of one sentence for strangers. It always feels funny to call someone he's acting with a stranger, since they've already hugged on-set more than he's hugged any member of his band; perhaps a friend, or even coworker. But no, in Ryo's head she is nothing more than a stranger.
He knows her name, but she's still a stranger. A stranger with a name, then.
They had met years before, when Yamapi was filming with her. He'd talked about her a lot - she liked cats, he'd said. Ryo doesn't like cats. He would, but they keep trying to kill him with their poisonous fur, so he's kind of given up unlike Shige, who is still rather determined. He'd said she liked the way the basketball felt in her hands but didn't like the smell of the rubber; she hadn't liked the way the violin strings would press at her fingertips. Ryo hadn't cared much, then, but had listened, and somehow the information had stored itself in a tiny pocket of his brain.
Keiko's face falls as he brushes past her to get to the door. "You too," she says, ending with a sigh. "Tomorrow, then."
"Yeah."
---
Tomorrow comes and Ryo's still a grouch.
"Tell me about yourself," she says again, when there's a break in filming as they check the lighting in the scene. He's got half an onigiri in his mouth and he just looks at her, wondering if she's actually expecting him to answer with his mouth full.
And what does one say to that kind of statement, anyway?
"Mrrff," is all he ends up saying - managing to spit a few grains of rice onto his own lap - and she cocks an eyebrow.
"Well, that's interesting," Keiko laughs, and takes a sip of tea. "I don't like broccoli," she says, nodding to herself, and that's when the crew decide to begin filming. Ryo quickly swallows the part of the onigiri he had been chewing and stows the rest away in his dorky Doraemon lunchbox Hina had given to him last Christmas, and runs a hand through his hair before making his way on set. Keiko's already there, having her hair fussed over by a squat-looking woman with bright orange glasses.
---
"I like singing," Keiko says; it's a bright afternoon and they're sweating in their winter clothes. Keiko is moving the wheelchair she's sitting in backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards as she speaks, and the squeak it makes every time she does it is getting to Ryo. "But not in front of people, really. I like singing in the shower. Even though I'm sure Takahashi-san from next door can hear me; the walls are pretty thin."
Ryo's not really listening as he kicks at a rock on the ground. They're meant to be filming one of their big scenes and he's trying not to think about it too much; he's just trying to remember his lines and where to stand at the right time. But Keiko keeps blabbering on about Takahashi-san - about how her homegrown tomatoes are really quite nice and that sometimes Keiko steals them from over the balcony - and it's difficult for Ryo to focus when there's that and the shouts from the staff and there's this guy tugging at Ryo's sweater because it's not sitting right and that fucking wheel is still squeaking.
"Ryo?" Keiko asks quietly, and suddenly the rest of the sounds drown out and it's just her on that wheelchair. She's stopped moving it. "Is everything alright?" she asks, and the look in her eyes is so genuine that Ryo just kind of stops a little.
"I'm allergic to cats," he says softly, and it's like the words are tumbled out of his mouth. She looks confused. "But I still like them," he adds, this time aware of the words he's saying. Keiko nods slowly, that twinkle in her eyes back as she grins.
"Right," she says, and there's a laughter present in her voice. "I like spring."
"Winter."
---
It sort of all falls into place after that.
Ryo's still awkward but it seems like Keiko likes it; she calls him cute and hits his knee lightly when he gets flustered and doesn't know how to continue the conversation. Dare he say it, but he sort of likes her; she's new and different and nothing like he expected her to be. She doesn't expect anything of him either, and he likes that too. She accepts that he is actually painfully shy and goes to buy his bento box from the convenience store across the street because he'd mentioned it that morning. She gives it to him with a tiny smile and he can't help but smile back.
"Thanks," he murmurs, but she shakes her head and gives him a playful wink.
"Anytime," she says, and that's that. That's the end of it. Ryo expects some kind of joke attached but it never comes; he expects her to laugh and ask him why he didn't want to go himself. But she doesn't, and that's interesting. That's never happened before. "Do you wanna read our lines over together after?" she asks, this time a little quieter.
"Can't," he says, as he starts in on his bento; it really is the most delicious thing ever, all cold and sweet and the chicken is cooked just right with the right sauce that makes Ryo's mouth water. "I've got more work after this."
He sees her face fall. It doesn't fall much, but Ryo catches it even so. Her mouth curves down slightly and her eyebrow twitches, and he can see her shoulders sag. "Ah, it's alright," she says with a smile. "I'll find something else to do then." He hates how it nags at him, that little shoulder drop, and how it fixes itself in his mind.
Ryo lets the conversation drop. They keep eating until the staff call them and they need to leave; Ryo makes sure his bento is wrapped up nice and safe and stored in the on-set fridge. Keiko puts hers on top. "So if someone wants to steal it, they'll steal mine first," she explains with a laugh, and her hair tickles Ryo's neck as she whirls around to answer the call of one of the members of staff. He's not sure why that makes his stomach flip upon itself, but it does.
He finishes the scene with minimal mistakes; Keiko pulls faces at him when she's off camera and she makes it difficult for him to concentrate. He doesn't really mind though, even if it means they have to do the scene about six times, because he's laughing and she's laughing and it hits him then that she's no longer a stranger.
---
"We should go over these lines," Ryo says a few days later, when he knows his schedule is free - he had planned to just sleep those hours away, but that shoulder-sag is still in the back of his mind. Keiko pauses in the middle of placing a happy penguin sticker in her schedule book and looks up at him with wide eyes.
"Seriously?" she asks, and he nods.
"After filming, maybe?" he offers, like he hasn't thought it out completely. There's this smile that blooms on her face, happiness and gratefulness evident in every line of her face, and Ryo feels himself smiling back at her until he gets self-conscious and ducks to hide it. He coughs. "Yeah. Well. See you then."
"Tonight?"
"Yeah."
"Your place?"
Ryo pauses. In his mind, that was where they had met. In his mind, he and Keiko had been sitting at the table in his apartment, reading lines across it. But thinking about it now, he's not too sure about it; it means letting her in, it means crossing a line. "Yours," he says eventually, and there's no shoulder sag in response to his words. Just another dimpled smile.
She gives him her address on a piece of purple paper; her writing is sharp yet barely legible. He raises an eyebrow at the penguin sticker in the corner. "I like penguins," she says simply and gives him a look, as if to prompt him to say anything about her happy blue penguin.
"Why is it playing a ukelele?" he asks, peering close at the piece of paper that she had slid over to him. Keiko just sighs and puts her hand on the back of his head, pushing so that he hits his forehead on the table. "Ow, fuck--"
"Because it wants to play the ukelele," she says simply, and hits him over the head for good measure. "Now shut up, I have to go be with people who don't question my stickers."
Ryo stares after her, rubbing the top of his head as if her touch had actually hurt him.
Her apartment is on the outskirts of Tokyo, and it's a bitch to get to. It's a sort of nondescript building really, and he can't figure out if he feels out of place or right at home. He stands in the elevator next to an elderly woman who smells strangely like fish and waits to get to the right floor - the ukelele-playing penguin says that Keiko lives on the fifth floor. The woman asks if he's alright and he says yes, thank you, and that he's just going to meet a friend. The woman nods and the many necklaces around her neck jingle.
"Friends are good," she says, in that voice all elderly women seem to adopt once they're over sixty five. Ryo nods again, and goes back to staring at the numbers near the elevator doors, wishing them to go faster. "I had friends, once. Now I have snakes," she says with a faraway look in her eyes, and Ryo's flat-out glaring at those numbers.
"Nice talking to you," she says as he runs out of the elevator. He manages a small grunt in return while the doors close behind him.
Keiko's apartment has the same blank front door as all the others surrounding it and the numbers glare out at Ryo, daring him to knock. It's a short one-two-three knock and he doesn't have to wait long before the door creaks open. "I thought you'd never get here!" is Keiko's greeting, and then she's pulling him inside. "Anyone see you?"
"I don't think s--"
"I was joking," she laughs. "I don't really care."
"Oh, okay, but--"
"Tea?"
"Oh-- Sure--"
"Or coffee?"
"Uuh-- Coffee then."
Her apartment is small, but neat. The walls are cream and the floors are wooden, and there's a huge red rug in the middle of the room. The curtains are open and letting the moonlight flood in from the balcony, and the only other source of light is a small standing lamp next to a white couch. There's an overturned book on the coffee table, and Ryo notices that it's not the script they're meant to be studying. Keiko fusses about in the little kitchen - there's barely enough room for her alone so Ryo stands awkwardly in the lounge room, trying to figure out where to sit. Keiko bustles in a while later, two mugs of coffee in her hands, and gestures for him to sit wherever he likes.
Ryo settles on the couch next to where he supposes Keiko had been before she had stopped reading, and she perches down next to him. He leaves his coffee to cool down a little but Keiko's already sipping at it, pulling faces when it's too hot for her. "Just leave it," he says, and she shakes her head.
"Then it'll be cold," she answers, and he drops it. He knows a lost cause when he sees one. "Have you read this scene yet?" she asks, and reaches for the script under the coffee table. Ryo shakes his head - they don't have filming tomorrow and he was going to try to figure it out then - and she laughs. "Yeah, me neither."
It's their first kiss scene. Ryo stares at the crisp black letters glaring back up at him. Of course it's their first kiss scene. He hears Keiko clear her throat and shuffle awkwardly on the couch next to him and he sighs before flipping back to the first page of the scene. Well. Gotta start somewhere.
Fuck, this was going to be uncomfortable.
Keiko goes first, following the pink dots that highlight her lines in her script; Ryo's own character lines are marked with plain yellow highlighter. He can see a little purple penguin waving up at her from the bottom of the page - it's holding a red and white umbrella and squeaking a scrawled 'good luck!' up at her, and he has to fight down a grin.
Ryo gets through his lines fairly well, until they hit the page they both know the kiss is on. Both their voices waver slightly but they press on through the nerves, and when the script prompts them, they move closer. "Wait!" Keiko suddenly yelps, and Ryo flies back to his side of the couch.
"What?" he exclaims, a little scared.
"I-- You should be standing," she says, lowering her voice as she notices how shocked Ryo is. "Cause I'm in the wheelchair and all," she adds at Ryo's confused look. "You're standing in the scene."
"Oh," Ryo mumbles, running a hand through his hair. "Oh, right." So he stands - he takes a quick sip of just-right coffee for courage - and nods at her. "Is this alright?"
"How many ways are there to stand?" She laughs. "Yes, yes, it's fine." Ryo's about to continue reading when she stops him again. "Do you have any... any-- oh, what's the word?" Keiko sort of flaps her hands around her face, as if that will help her remember the elusive word, before her face brightens. "Do you have a... certain thing you do before a kiss scene?" she asks, and Ryo gets distracted trying to find the word she couldn't figure out before. "Ryo?"
"Oh-- normally... Well, normally I have a drink or two," he says, a little sheepishly, and she laughs.
"Seriously? What if the scene is in the morning?"
"Still applies," he answers, scratching his neck. "It takes the edge off; I don't get as nervous." Keiko nods, and Ryo notices for the first time that she's wearing too-big overalls and her hair is in that precarious-looking bun again. She looks rather... cute.
Well, these thoughts are certainly not helping.
"What about you?" Ryo prompts, and she looks up from drawing her fingers over the text on the page.
"Nothing much," she answers quickly, but it's too quick and Ryo latches onto it.
"Tell me," he says, and she pulls a face at his pleading expression. He knows he's good at those. "I won't tell anyone."
"Okay, fine," she sighs eventually. "I... I go up to the guy - before we start filming - and sort of... flirt with him." Keiko laughs at herself and puts her script to her forehead in embarrassment. "Ah, it's so pathetic..."
"Yeah, a little," Ryo laughs, and quickly moves away from the kick she aims at him. "What, does it help?"
"Like you'll never know," she says, with a cheeky look on her face. "Now hurry up and read your lines, Nishikido."
So Ryo keeps reading, barely looking up at her when it's her turn to speak. When he does it's almost accidental, and it's really just so he can reach over and grab a quick sip of his coffee, but she's watching him with a soft look in her eyes. "Your line?" he prompts with a shaky voice, because those eyes are so big and so emotive, and they make his mind swim. Keiko shakes her head and goes back to the scene, a playful smirk about her lips as she continues reading.
Ryo steps closer as the script prompts, and closer, and closer, until all he can do is lean further down, and she's still reading and she smells like coffee and citrus; when she looks up at him she jumps a little as if not expecting him to be so close. Truth be told, Ryo doesn't think he needs to be so close either. "We're-- We're supposed to kiss now," Keiko says softly, and Ryo just nods.
Yeah. He knows that.
So he leans down until her face is ever so close, until he can see the specks of gold in her eyes, until he can see the freckles underneath her makeup. There's a piece of stray hair that's fallen out of her bun and Ryo brushes it away behind her ear, where it doesn't stay but instead that's where Ryo's hand does; she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, and then he kisses her. It's soft, and his heart is pounding against his ribcage, and he can feel her eyelashes on his cheek; they pull away and Ryo's a little breathless.
Her eyes flutter open and she looks a little lost. "Um--"
"Still my line," Ryo murmurs, unmoving from his position. "But I love you," he reads, from the now-crinkled paper. He realises just how hard he had been holding the script in his hand. It's all bent and twisted now, curling around his fist in jagged lines. The rest of his lines are sappy and stereotypical love story stuff, but her eyes haven't lost that softness and Ryo isn't entirely sure she's acting right now. Those eyes are too big to be able to hide that well.
Keiko says nothing, but rests her fingers on his elbow lightly. Just a simple touch, nothing much really. Keiko hums before her mouth turns up in a tiny little smile and she leans forward to kiss the side of Ryo's mouth. He's not sure if she missed or if she's doing it on purpose but she's not pulling away so Ryo moves to kiss her properly.
It's a pretty little kiss, prettier than the first. It's less hesitant, less staged. It's kind of real and Ryo isn't sure why that's okay, why that makes his head spin just a little. Keiko's hand moves up to his neck and then her fingers are in his hair, pulling him closer with the faintest pressure. She kisses him again and slowly stands as he responds, and his arms automatically wind around her waist to hold her flush against him. The buckles of her overalls dig into his shoulders but it's fine, it's fine, she's still kissing him and his head is still spinning in that wonderful cotton candy kind of way and it's fine. Fine.
It's not in the script.
She pulls away and bites her lip as she thinks, and that cotton candy must be clouding his mind because he just moves back in and kisses her once more. But Keiko leans away, those eyes so wide and confused, but her hand is still in his hair and his arms still around her. "What?" is all she says, and Ryo raises an eyebrow and makes a noise.
"Thought it was obvious," he answers, though his heart is beating so incredibly fast that it feels like it's going to jump out of his chest. "You kissed me first," he adds, rather defensively. He was only reciprocating, he wasn't initiating.
"Huh," she says to herself, and tugs on Ryo's hair. He doesn't know why she does it.
"Ow," he says softly; it just kind of falls out of his mouth. It didn't even hurt.
Keiko rolls her eyes and leans in close once more, her eyes focused on his lips. "Yeah, right," she laughs, and then he has to kiss her. It's like a need. He needs to kiss her. Needs to feel that laugh against his lips.
She kisses him back, winding both arms around his neck now. Their kisses become heavier, heated, rushed, until Keiko's leaning her head back and Ryo's mouthing at her neck. Her hands slide back into his hair and pull, this time pointedly, and he looks up into dark eyes. She says nothing, but Ryo can read it all over her face; he kisses her harder and she gives as good as she gets. "Like honey," she mumbles, and Ryo doesn't get it but he lets it go in favour of kissing her collarbone instead.
Her bedroom is neat, painted a rich green colour with cream trimmings; there's a queen-sized bed in the middle with what seems like a thousand pillows set at the bedhead. There's a painting on the wall that looks like a whole bunch of simple lines and dots; on her bedside table there's another book turned upside-down to hold her place in it. But Ryo doesn't see any of that because Keiko is pulling him in, all around, her hands and lips and her everywhere, all over.
They move together that night, deep eyes locked onto deep eyes, guitar-worn hands gliding over soft, pale skin.
---
When the sun filters in through the window and the sunlight forces Ryo's eyes awake, he doesn't know what to do. Keiko lies next to him, fast asleep, with her hair over her face and her mouth open, and he just has to laugh. Trust him to get himself into such a situation, he thinks, as his heart flips a little as he watches her sleep.
"Creepy," Keiko mumbles, and flaps a hand in his direction without even opening her eyes. "Am I naked? I feel naked."
Ryo flushes a deep red when he remembers that yes, she is indeed naked, and turns his eyes away. "Yep," he struggles, and she snorts.
"Figures." Keiko sits up and stretches her arms over her head, yawning widely. "You and your damn puppy eyes," she adds in a mutter, and Ryo is too focused in not paying attention to her nakedness to think of a comeback.
He slips on his boxers as she finds a dressing gown to wrap around her. She's about to shuffle out the room when Ryo stops her. "This is..." he starts, and she just cocks her head at him.
"This is," she says, her voice a little hoarse. "This is... Something."
"Something?"
"Let it be what you want it to be," Keiko says with a smile, and runs a hand through unkempt hair.
"What do you want it to be?" Ryo asks, fighting back a yawn himself.
She pauses as if she hadn't thought of it, and nods softly to herself. "Something," she grins. Ryo sighs. "Come on, I'll make you something for breakfast. Big kiss scene coming up, remember? Gotta keep your stamina up," she adds, laughing, and Ryo rolls his eyes with a smile. "No drinking for you, either."
"Whatever."
---
Ryo knows that somehow, somewhere, along the way, she started to become special to him. He knows stupid little things about her, like how she likes to wear glasses that make her eyes look ten times bigger than they actually are, or how she adds two sugars to her coffee, or how she likes the blue penguins better than the other multi-coloured penguins. He knows she cares enough for him to make an effort to get to know him. And she'd accepted him, for all his flaws, and had just gone along with him without question.
It's what he wants it to be.
He's not entirely sure what that is just yet, but he's very quickly thinking that yes, he might want to give this a try. Briefly he wonders... Does he have the time, the patience, the energy to love someone? Could he love her? Could he make her happy? But Ryo quickly squashes those thoughts down. Too much too soon. He doesn't know the answers to those questions, and there's nothing to gain from overthinking them. No matter how much he could try to think about them, he knows that there will never be a concrete answer to them.
Not unless he tries. Not unless he gives this a shot.
Ryo doesn't see Keiko until she's out of hair and makeup, wrapped up tight in a warm-looking red scarf that stands out against the white snow behind. Ryo can't see half of her face but the half that he can see brightens when she notices him there, her eyes curving into happy crescents as she jogs over to him.
One, two, one, two, goes Ryo's heart, a thumping nervousness that resonates through his whole body. Yes. This is right, he thinks.
So when she manages to catch up to him, he clutches at her mitten-covered hand and drags her back to his dressing room. "Wha--" she protests, voice rather muffled by the scarf, but he doesn't listen.
The dressing room isn't the most romantic place for a confession but it's going to have to do, he thinks. It's stark white and cold, and the heater in the corner is old and hums loudly through the room constantly, and it's effectively ruining any kind of atmosphere that could have possibly existed here.
"Okay, shut up," Ryo says, because he can see it in her eyes that she's about to say something. She rolls her eyes and goes to cross her arms but Ryo is faster and surprises her by placing his fingertips on her cheekbones, gently moving down her face until he's moved the fabric of the scarf out of the way.
Keiko takes a deep shuddering breath. "Come on, then," she murmurs, and Ryo smiles as he presses his lips against hers, perfect and soft and everything right for a confession. She kisses back with the same delicacy, like they're both scared they're going to break. Like she's feeling the same things that are sending Ryo's mind reeling. "Took your time," Keiko says, once Ryo pulls away. He winds his arms around her waist and hugs her, because he's never done that, and it's kind of lovely. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and presses her face into his neck, her hair tickling his skin.
Ryo wants to say something, because there are ten thousand thoughts flying through his head - most of them questions - but she just holds him tighter and silently asks him not to voice them. They can hear someone calling them to the set and Ryo tugs on her elbow to get her to move. "Come on," he murmurs.
"Fine. But-- hang on." Keiko pulls away from the hug with a strange look in her eye; Ryo watches with an amused smile on his face as she struggles to take one of her mittens off. "Okay," she says with finality, once she manages it, and fits her hand into Ryo's. Her fingers are so dainty and soft against his own and he finds that he just might like having them there. "Much better."
Ryo can't agree more.
Keiko tells him much later, when they're in his apartment and she's helping him cook dinner, that the director had told her to talk to Ryo first. "He said you wouldn't talk otherwise," she adds as she slices carrots. "He said I needed to make the first step. So I did - partly because I didn't want to be alone; partly because I was curious. For someone so emotive on-camera, you're a surprisingly closed book," she says with a laugh.
"I'm glad you took that step," Ryo murmurs, and she flicks carrot at him for being sappy. If she hadn't have made that step, then she wouldn't be here right now, with him. Looking like that. "Put the knife down and come hug me," he laughs, shaking the carrot out of his hair. Keiko pulls a face but does as she's told, sighing into the hug he gives her. She always folds so nicely into the hug, Ryo thinks. She buries her face into the crook of his neck and sighs again. "What?"
"You smell nice," she says softly, and Ryo kisses her shoulder. "Like honey."
the end.
From: cupid_johnny
Title: Nonsensical Nonsensicals
Pairing: Nishikido Ryo/Kitagawa Keiko
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Ryo never talks to co-stars. It's his unwritten rule, of sorts. But then Keiko goes and ruins that, and forces her way into his life. Whether he wants her to or not.
A/N: I hope this is alright, nillahoney!Any reference to scenes in Dakishimetai I made up, so there are no spoilers.
"You know what smells great?"
It starts like this.
Ryo's having a break from first-day filming, resting in the shade of an old tree and taking careful sips of water every so often, watching the clouds roll by one by one. The movie set is bustling with noise, people yelling and snapping at each otherand pieces of heavy equipment being lifted here and there and Ryo feels like a nuisance in the middle of all that, so he separates himself. The tree is good company; it isn't loud, it isn't yelling, and it has no objection over the fact that Ryo is leaning against it.
But then his happy little silence is broken by her voice.
Her shadow falls across his as she nears, but he doesn't look at her. He grunts to let her know he's heard her and takes another sip of water for something to do. He doesn't care about smells. He has no idea why she's asking him about smells.
"Honey," Keiko answers, and Ryo's eyes slide over to her. She has a huge grin on her face and she sort of shrugs her shoulders happily. "What? It does," she adds, at his incredulous look. Ryo doesn't care, but she's making herself comfortable against his tree and he has no say against it. "Have you never smelled it before, Nishikido-san?" She's talking to the grass she's running her fingers through but her voice floats up to him anyway; he makes a noise that neither says yes or no and takes another sip.
The director calls for them, then, and they walk back. She sort of skips, happiness eminent in her every move - she's still smiling that ridiculous grin and Ryo doesn't know what's so great. He drags his feet up after her, wondering how she can be so happy when they have a whole day of filming ahead of them.
Her eyes are big and brown and they shine when she laughs.
---
"My name's Kitagawa Keiko," she introduces, which makes no sense since they've already exchanged greetings and formalities - and since it's the second week of filming.
Ryo just watches her awhile, wondering what she's playing at. But she seems innocent enough, with her round face and dimples, and so he just shakes his head and reaches for the hand she's extended towards him. "Nishikido Ryo," he grumbles, because that's his default setting when talking to people he's unfamiliar with. It doesn't deter her, though, and Ryo doesn't know whether he likes that or not.
"Tell me about yourself, Nishikido Ryo," Keiko says. They've been shooting scenes all day and they're allowed to go home now. It's creeping towards three in the morning and Ryo wants to do nothing more than to crawl into bed and pull the covers over his head. He doesn't want to tell his life story to this woman he barely knows.
"Later," he says gruffly, shrugging on his coat and shouldering his bag. "I'm leaving. Good work today." Three sentences - sentences? - are pretty good for Ryo, who doesn't like to leave his comfort zone of one sentence for strangers. It always feels funny to call someone he's acting with a stranger, since they've already hugged on-set more than he's hugged any member of his band; perhaps a friend, or even coworker. But no, in Ryo's head she is nothing more than a stranger.
He knows her name, but she's still a stranger. A stranger with a name, then.
They had met years before, when Yamapi was filming with her. He'd talked about her a lot - she liked cats, he'd said. Ryo doesn't like cats. He would, but they keep trying to kill him with their poisonous fur, so he's kind of given up unlike Shige, who is still rather determined. He'd said she liked the way the basketball felt in her hands but didn't like the smell of the rubber; she hadn't liked the way the violin strings would press at her fingertips. Ryo hadn't cared much, then, but had listened, and somehow the information had stored itself in a tiny pocket of his brain.
Keiko's face falls as he brushes past her to get to the door. "You too," she says, ending with a sigh. "Tomorrow, then."
"Yeah."
---
Tomorrow comes and Ryo's still a grouch.
"Tell me about yourself," she says again, when there's a break in filming as they check the lighting in the scene. He's got half an onigiri in his mouth and he just looks at her, wondering if she's actually expecting him to answer with his mouth full.
And what does one say to that kind of statement, anyway?
"Mrrff," is all he ends up saying - managing to spit a few grains of rice onto his own lap - and she cocks an eyebrow.
"Well, that's interesting," Keiko laughs, and takes a sip of tea. "I don't like broccoli," she says, nodding to herself, and that's when the crew decide to begin filming. Ryo quickly swallows the part of the onigiri he had been chewing and stows the rest away in his dorky Doraemon lunchbox Hina had given to him last Christmas, and runs a hand through his hair before making his way on set. Keiko's already there, having her hair fussed over by a squat-looking woman with bright orange glasses.
---
"I like singing," Keiko says; it's a bright afternoon and they're sweating in their winter clothes. Keiko is moving the wheelchair she's sitting in backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards as she speaks, and the squeak it makes every time she does it is getting to Ryo. "But not in front of people, really. I like singing in the shower. Even though I'm sure Takahashi-san from next door can hear me; the walls are pretty thin."
Ryo's not really listening as he kicks at a rock on the ground. They're meant to be filming one of their big scenes and he's trying not to think about it too much; he's just trying to remember his lines and where to stand at the right time. But Keiko keeps blabbering on about Takahashi-san - about how her homegrown tomatoes are really quite nice and that sometimes Keiko steals them from over the balcony - and it's difficult for Ryo to focus when there's that and the shouts from the staff and there's this guy tugging at Ryo's sweater because it's not sitting right and that fucking wheel is still squeaking.
"Ryo?" Keiko asks quietly, and suddenly the rest of the sounds drown out and it's just her on that wheelchair. She's stopped moving it. "Is everything alright?" she asks, and the look in her eyes is so genuine that Ryo just kind of stops a little.
"I'm allergic to cats," he says softly, and it's like the words are tumbled out of his mouth. She looks confused. "But I still like them," he adds, this time aware of the words he's saying. Keiko nods slowly, that twinkle in her eyes back as she grins.
"Right," she says, and there's a laughter present in her voice. "I like spring."
"Winter."
---
It sort of all falls into place after that.
Ryo's still awkward but it seems like Keiko likes it; she calls him cute and hits his knee lightly when he gets flustered and doesn't know how to continue the conversation. Dare he say it, but he sort of likes her; she's new and different and nothing like he expected her to be. She doesn't expect anything of him either, and he likes that too. She accepts that he is actually painfully shy and goes to buy his bento box from the convenience store across the street because he'd mentioned it that morning. She gives it to him with a tiny smile and he can't help but smile back.
"Thanks," he murmurs, but she shakes her head and gives him a playful wink.
"Anytime," she says, and that's that. That's the end of it. Ryo expects some kind of joke attached but it never comes; he expects her to laugh and ask him why he didn't want to go himself. But she doesn't, and that's interesting. That's never happened before. "Do you wanna read our lines over together after?" she asks, this time a little quieter.
"Can't," he says, as he starts in on his bento; it really is the most delicious thing ever, all cold and sweet and the chicken is cooked just right with the right sauce that makes Ryo's mouth water. "I've got more work after this."
He sees her face fall. It doesn't fall much, but Ryo catches it even so. Her mouth curves down slightly and her eyebrow twitches, and he can see her shoulders sag. "Ah, it's alright," she says with a smile. "I'll find something else to do then." He hates how it nags at him, that little shoulder drop, and how it fixes itself in his mind.
Ryo lets the conversation drop. They keep eating until the staff call them and they need to leave; Ryo makes sure his bento is wrapped up nice and safe and stored in the on-set fridge. Keiko puts hers on top. "So if someone wants to steal it, they'll steal mine first," she explains with a laugh, and her hair tickles Ryo's neck as she whirls around to answer the call of one of the members of staff. He's not sure why that makes his stomach flip upon itself, but it does.
He finishes the scene with minimal mistakes; Keiko pulls faces at him when she's off camera and she makes it difficult for him to concentrate. He doesn't really mind though, even if it means they have to do the scene about six times, because he's laughing and she's laughing and it hits him then that she's no longer a stranger.
---
"We should go over these lines," Ryo says a few days later, when he knows his schedule is free - he had planned to just sleep those hours away, but that shoulder-sag is still in the back of his mind. Keiko pauses in the middle of placing a happy penguin sticker in her schedule book and looks up at him with wide eyes.
"Seriously?" she asks, and he nods.
"After filming, maybe?" he offers, like he hasn't thought it out completely. There's this smile that blooms on her face, happiness and gratefulness evident in every line of her face, and Ryo feels himself smiling back at her until he gets self-conscious and ducks to hide it. He coughs. "Yeah. Well. See you then."
"Tonight?"
"Yeah."
"Your place?"
Ryo pauses. In his mind, that was where they had met. In his mind, he and Keiko had been sitting at the table in his apartment, reading lines across it. But thinking about it now, he's not too sure about it; it means letting her in, it means crossing a line. "Yours," he says eventually, and there's no shoulder sag in response to his words. Just another dimpled smile.
She gives him her address on a piece of purple paper; her writing is sharp yet barely legible. He raises an eyebrow at the penguin sticker in the corner. "I like penguins," she says simply and gives him a look, as if to prompt him to say anything about her happy blue penguin.
"Why is it playing a ukelele?" he asks, peering close at the piece of paper that she had slid over to him. Keiko just sighs and puts her hand on the back of his head, pushing so that he hits his forehead on the table. "Ow, fuck--"
"Because it wants to play the ukelele," she says simply, and hits him over the head for good measure. "Now shut up, I have to go be with people who don't question my stickers."
Ryo stares after her, rubbing the top of his head as if her touch had actually hurt him.
Her apartment is on the outskirts of Tokyo, and it's a bitch to get to. It's a sort of nondescript building really, and he can't figure out if he feels out of place or right at home. He stands in the elevator next to an elderly woman who smells strangely like fish and waits to get to the right floor - the ukelele-playing penguin says that Keiko lives on the fifth floor. The woman asks if he's alright and he says yes, thank you, and that he's just going to meet a friend. The woman nods and the many necklaces around her neck jingle.
"Friends are good," she says, in that voice all elderly women seem to adopt once they're over sixty five. Ryo nods again, and goes back to staring at the numbers near the elevator doors, wishing them to go faster. "I had friends, once. Now I have snakes," she says with a faraway look in her eyes, and Ryo's flat-out glaring at those numbers.
"Nice talking to you," she says as he runs out of the elevator. He manages a small grunt in return while the doors close behind him.
Keiko's apartment has the same blank front door as all the others surrounding it and the numbers glare out at Ryo, daring him to knock. It's a short one-two-three knock and he doesn't have to wait long before the door creaks open. "I thought you'd never get here!" is Keiko's greeting, and then she's pulling him inside. "Anyone see you?"
"I don't think s--"
"I was joking," she laughs. "I don't really care."
"Oh, okay, but--"
"Tea?"
"Oh-- Sure--"
"Or coffee?"
"Uuh-- Coffee then."
Her apartment is small, but neat. The walls are cream and the floors are wooden, and there's a huge red rug in the middle of the room. The curtains are open and letting the moonlight flood in from the balcony, and the only other source of light is a small standing lamp next to a white couch. There's an overturned book on the coffee table, and Ryo notices that it's not the script they're meant to be studying. Keiko fusses about in the little kitchen - there's barely enough room for her alone so Ryo stands awkwardly in the lounge room, trying to figure out where to sit. Keiko bustles in a while later, two mugs of coffee in her hands, and gestures for him to sit wherever he likes.
Ryo settles on the couch next to where he supposes Keiko had been before she had stopped reading, and she perches down next to him. He leaves his coffee to cool down a little but Keiko's already sipping at it, pulling faces when it's too hot for her. "Just leave it," he says, and she shakes her head.
"Then it'll be cold," she answers, and he drops it. He knows a lost cause when he sees one. "Have you read this scene yet?" she asks, and reaches for the script under the coffee table. Ryo shakes his head - they don't have filming tomorrow and he was going to try to figure it out then - and she laughs. "Yeah, me neither."
It's their first kiss scene. Ryo stares at the crisp black letters glaring back up at him. Of course it's their first kiss scene. He hears Keiko clear her throat and shuffle awkwardly on the couch next to him and he sighs before flipping back to the first page of the scene. Well. Gotta start somewhere.
Fuck, this was going to be uncomfortable.
Keiko goes first, following the pink dots that highlight her lines in her script; Ryo's own character lines are marked with plain yellow highlighter. He can see a little purple penguin waving up at her from the bottom of the page - it's holding a red and white umbrella and squeaking a scrawled 'good luck!' up at her, and he has to fight down a grin.
Ryo gets through his lines fairly well, until they hit the page they both know the kiss is on. Both their voices waver slightly but they press on through the nerves, and when the script prompts them, they move closer. "Wait!" Keiko suddenly yelps, and Ryo flies back to his side of the couch.
"What?" he exclaims, a little scared.
"I-- You should be standing," she says, lowering her voice as she notices how shocked Ryo is. "Cause I'm in the wheelchair and all," she adds at Ryo's confused look. "You're standing in the scene."
"Oh," Ryo mumbles, running a hand through his hair. "Oh, right." So he stands - he takes a quick sip of just-right coffee for courage - and nods at her. "Is this alright?"
"How many ways are there to stand?" She laughs. "Yes, yes, it's fine." Ryo's about to continue reading when she stops him again. "Do you have any... any-- oh, what's the word?" Keiko sort of flaps her hands around her face, as if that will help her remember the elusive word, before her face brightens. "Do you have a... certain thing you do before a kiss scene?" she asks, and Ryo gets distracted trying to find the word she couldn't figure out before. "Ryo?"
"Oh-- normally... Well, normally I have a drink or two," he says, a little sheepishly, and she laughs.
"Seriously? What if the scene is in the morning?"
"Still applies," he answers, scratching his neck. "It takes the edge off; I don't get as nervous." Keiko nods, and Ryo notices for the first time that she's wearing too-big overalls and her hair is in that precarious-looking bun again. She looks rather... cute.
Well, these thoughts are certainly not helping.
"What about you?" Ryo prompts, and she looks up from drawing her fingers over the text on the page.
"Nothing much," she answers quickly, but it's too quick and Ryo latches onto it.
"Tell me," he says, and she pulls a face at his pleading expression. He knows he's good at those. "I won't tell anyone."
"Okay, fine," she sighs eventually. "I... I go up to the guy - before we start filming - and sort of... flirt with him." Keiko laughs at herself and puts her script to her forehead in embarrassment. "Ah, it's so pathetic..."
"Yeah, a little," Ryo laughs, and quickly moves away from the kick she aims at him. "What, does it help?"
"Like you'll never know," she says, with a cheeky look on her face. "Now hurry up and read your lines, Nishikido."
So Ryo keeps reading, barely looking up at her when it's her turn to speak. When he does it's almost accidental, and it's really just so he can reach over and grab a quick sip of his coffee, but she's watching him with a soft look in her eyes. "Your line?" he prompts with a shaky voice, because those eyes are so big and so emotive, and they make his mind swim. Keiko shakes her head and goes back to the scene, a playful smirk about her lips as she continues reading.
Ryo steps closer as the script prompts, and closer, and closer, until all he can do is lean further down, and she's still reading and she smells like coffee and citrus; when she looks up at him she jumps a little as if not expecting him to be so close. Truth be told, Ryo doesn't think he needs to be so close either. "We're-- We're supposed to kiss now," Keiko says softly, and Ryo just nods.
Yeah. He knows that.
So he leans down until her face is ever so close, until he can see the specks of gold in her eyes, until he can see the freckles underneath her makeup. There's a piece of stray hair that's fallen out of her bun and Ryo brushes it away behind her ear, where it doesn't stay but instead that's where Ryo's hand does; she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, and then he kisses her. It's soft, and his heart is pounding against his ribcage, and he can feel her eyelashes on his cheek; they pull away and Ryo's a little breathless.
Her eyes flutter open and she looks a little lost. "Um--"
"Still my line," Ryo murmurs, unmoving from his position. "But I love you," he reads, from the now-crinkled paper. He realises just how hard he had been holding the script in his hand. It's all bent and twisted now, curling around his fist in jagged lines. The rest of his lines are sappy and stereotypical love story stuff, but her eyes haven't lost that softness and Ryo isn't entirely sure she's acting right now. Those eyes are too big to be able to hide that well.
Keiko says nothing, but rests her fingers on his elbow lightly. Just a simple touch, nothing much really. Keiko hums before her mouth turns up in a tiny little smile and she leans forward to kiss the side of Ryo's mouth. He's not sure if she missed or if she's doing it on purpose but she's not pulling away so Ryo moves to kiss her properly.
It's a pretty little kiss, prettier than the first. It's less hesitant, less staged. It's kind of real and Ryo isn't sure why that's okay, why that makes his head spin just a little. Keiko's hand moves up to his neck and then her fingers are in his hair, pulling him closer with the faintest pressure. She kisses him again and slowly stands as he responds, and his arms automatically wind around her waist to hold her flush against him. The buckles of her overalls dig into his shoulders but it's fine, it's fine, she's still kissing him and his head is still spinning in that wonderful cotton candy kind of way and it's fine. Fine.
It's not in the script.
She pulls away and bites her lip as she thinks, and that cotton candy must be clouding his mind because he just moves back in and kisses her once more. But Keiko leans away, those eyes so wide and confused, but her hand is still in his hair and his arms still around her. "What?" is all she says, and Ryo raises an eyebrow and makes a noise.
"Thought it was obvious," he answers, though his heart is beating so incredibly fast that it feels like it's going to jump out of his chest. "You kissed me first," he adds, rather defensively. He was only reciprocating, he wasn't initiating.
"Huh," she says to herself, and tugs on Ryo's hair. He doesn't know why she does it.
"Ow," he says softly; it just kind of falls out of his mouth. It didn't even hurt.
Keiko rolls her eyes and leans in close once more, her eyes focused on his lips. "Yeah, right," she laughs, and then he has to kiss her. It's like a need. He needs to kiss her. Needs to feel that laugh against his lips.
She kisses him back, winding both arms around his neck now. Their kisses become heavier, heated, rushed, until Keiko's leaning her head back and Ryo's mouthing at her neck. Her hands slide back into his hair and pull, this time pointedly, and he looks up into dark eyes. She says nothing, but Ryo can read it all over her face; he kisses her harder and she gives as good as she gets. "Like honey," she mumbles, and Ryo doesn't get it but he lets it go in favour of kissing her collarbone instead.
Her bedroom is neat, painted a rich green colour with cream trimmings; there's a queen-sized bed in the middle with what seems like a thousand pillows set at the bedhead. There's a painting on the wall that looks like a whole bunch of simple lines and dots; on her bedside table there's another book turned upside-down to hold her place in it. But Ryo doesn't see any of that because Keiko is pulling him in, all around, her hands and lips and her everywhere, all over.
They move together that night, deep eyes locked onto deep eyes, guitar-worn hands gliding over soft, pale skin.
---
When the sun filters in through the window and the sunlight forces Ryo's eyes awake, he doesn't know what to do. Keiko lies next to him, fast asleep, with her hair over her face and her mouth open, and he just has to laugh. Trust him to get himself into such a situation, he thinks, as his heart flips a little as he watches her sleep.
"Creepy," Keiko mumbles, and flaps a hand in his direction without even opening her eyes. "Am I naked? I feel naked."
Ryo flushes a deep red when he remembers that yes, she is indeed naked, and turns his eyes away. "Yep," he struggles, and she snorts.
"Figures." Keiko sits up and stretches her arms over her head, yawning widely. "You and your damn puppy eyes," she adds in a mutter, and Ryo is too focused in not paying attention to her nakedness to think of a comeback.
He slips on his boxers as she finds a dressing gown to wrap around her. She's about to shuffle out the room when Ryo stops her. "This is..." he starts, and she just cocks her head at him.
"This is," she says, her voice a little hoarse. "This is... Something."
"Something?"
"Let it be what you want it to be," Keiko says with a smile, and runs a hand through unkempt hair.
"What do you want it to be?" Ryo asks, fighting back a yawn himself.
She pauses as if she hadn't thought of it, and nods softly to herself. "Something," she grins. Ryo sighs. "Come on, I'll make you something for breakfast. Big kiss scene coming up, remember? Gotta keep your stamina up," she adds, laughing, and Ryo rolls his eyes with a smile. "No drinking for you, either."
"Whatever."
---
Ryo knows that somehow, somewhere, along the way, she started to become special to him. He knows stupid little things about her, like how she likes to wear glasses that make her eyes look ten times bigger than they actually are, or how she adds two sugars to her coffee, or how she likes the blue penguins better than the other multi-coloured penguins. He knows she cares enough for him to make an effort to get to know him. And she'd accepted him, for all his flaws, and had just gone along with him without question.
It's what he wants it to be.
He's not entirely sure what that is just yet, but he's very quickly thinking that yes, he might want to give this a try. Briefly he wonders... Does he have the time, the patience, the energy to love someone? Could he love her? Could he make her happy? But Ryo quickly squashes those thoughts down. Too much too soon. He doesn't know the answers to those questions, and there's nothing to gain from overthinking them. No matter how much he could try to think about them, he knows that there will never be a concrete answer to them.
Not unless he tries. Not unless he gives this a shot.
Ryo doesn't see Keiko until she's out of hair and makeup, wrapped up tight in a warm-looking red scarf that stands out against the white snow behind. Ryo can't see half of her face but the half that he can see brightens when she notices him there, her eyes curving into happy crescents as she jogs over to him.
One, two, one, two, goes Ryo's heart, a thumping nervousness that resonates through his whole body. Yes. This is right, he thinks.
So when she manages to catch up to him, he clutches at her mitten-covered hand and drags her back to his dressing room. "Wha--" she protests, voice rather muffled by the scarf, but he doesn't listen.
The dressing room isn't the most romantic place for a confession but it's going to have to do, he thinks. It's stark white and cold, and the heater in the corner is old and hums loudly through the room constantly, and it's effectively ruining any kind of atmosphere that could have possibly existed here.
"Okay, shut up," Ryo says, because he can see it in her eyes that she's about to say something. She rolls her eyes and goes to cross her arms but Ryo is faster and surprises her by placing his fingertips on her cheekbones, gently moving down her face until he's moved the fabric of the scarf out of the way.
Keiko takes a deep shuddering breath. "Come on, then," she murmurs, and Ryo smiles as he presses his lips against hers, perfect and soft and everything right for a confession. She kisses back with the same delicacy, like they're both scared they're going to break. Like she's feeling the same things that are sending Ryo's mind reeling. "Took your time," Keiko says, once Ryo pulls away. He winds his arms around her waist and hugs her, because he's never done that, and it's kind of lovely. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and presses her face into his neck, her hair tickling his skin.
Ryo wants to say something, because there are ten thousand thoughts flying through his head - most of them questions - but she just holds him tighter and silently asks him not to voice them. They can hear someone calling them to the set and Ryo tugs on her elbow to get her to move. "Come on," he murmurs.
"Fine. But-- hang on." Keiko pulls away from the hug with a strange look in her eye; Ryo watches with an amused smile on his face as she struggles to take one of her mittens off. "Okay," she says with finality, once she manages it, and fits her hand into Ryo's. Her fingers are so dainty and soft against his own and he finds that he just might like having them there. "Much better."
Ryo can't agree more.
Keiko tells him much later, when they're in his apartment and she's helping him cook dinner, that the director had told her to talk to Ryo first. "He said you wouldn't talk otherwise," she adds as she slices carrots. "He said I needed to make the first step. So I did - partly because I didn't want to be alone; partly because I was curious. For someone so emotive on-camera, you're a surprisingly closed book," she says with a laugh.
"I'm glad you took that step," Ryo murmurs, and she flicks carrot at him for being sappy. If she hadn't have made that step, then she wouldn't be here right now, with him. Looking like that. "Put the knife down and come hug me," he laughs, shaking the carrot out of his hair. Keiko pulls a face but does as she's told, sighing into the hug he gives her. She always folds so nicely into the hug, Ryo thinks. She buries her face into the crook of his neck and sighs again. "What?"
"You smell nice," she says softly, and Ryo kisses her shoulder. "Like honey."
the end.