je_united gift fic for alois_trancy
je_united gift fic for alois_trancy
Title: Steps of love
Pairing: Nagano Hiroshi/ Sakamoto Masayuki
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Summary: Love can grow through time
Notes: Dear alois_trancy , I never wrote V6 before, but I hope you'll like it :)
Seeing him standing there had always been hard for Nagano. He sometimes wondered why everything went the way it did. They liked each other, hated each other, and loved each other. Feelings were coming and going, but everything they shared was full of passion.
Nagano hid behind the book he was currently reading when he saw Sakamoto looking up at him. He didn’t want the other to see that he was obviously thinking of him. He knew Sakamoto - he wouldn’t allow any emotions to show when others were around. To be stoic - that was the way he always behaved towards Nagano when their band mates and friends were around.
He could remember that Okada had once asked him about his relationship with Sakamoto. He was worried because they seemed to dislike each other - he had no idea about Nagano’s real feelings, and that was probably the best thing. He and Sakamoto had always kept silent about the few times they had shared with each other, and it should stay like that, just that Nagano sometimes admired younger colleagues and friends, who talked about their relationships openly - at least as far as it was possible in their job.
And some weeks ago Okada came to them, smiling the way he had never seen him smiling before. Nagano had immediately known that something really good had happened to his friend. Okada had told them that he was going to marry soon, and he was so chipper and happy while he told them about this, that Nagano wondered if real love could really change someone’s behaviour. Not that Okada was a sad or gloomy character, but he had a special sparkle in his eyes, and his laughter had been like a child's seeing snowflakes for the first time in their life. It had definitely been a special situation for Okada and also for them.
Nagano was happy for his friend, and he just wished him the life he himself wished to have, but there was something else in him - a small, jumping point, not bigger than a seed, but it jumped in him, hurting in his chest like someone was pushing needles into his skin. Was he envious? Was he sad? Angry? He didn’t know… maybe a mixture of everything.
Nagano had looked at Sakamoto’s reaction back then, and to his surprise Sakamoto had smiled at Okada like he hardly ever did. Of course Okada had always had a special place in Sakamoto’s heart, because he had been their band baby, but these times had been over long ago.
Nagano sighed. It couldn’t be that he was jealous because of Okada? He was their friend and he would marry soon, and why the hell was Nagano now thinking about the smile Sakamoto had shown Okada, but probably wouldn’t show him?
The first time they had met outside work, Nagano had been all chipper about it. Of course he had been younger back then, and everything was so new to him, he couldn’t even say what these feelings inside him had been. They had walked in a big park after a nice yakiniku and some beer. It was a warm evening and they could even see some stars in the night sky, which was rare in a city like Tokyo.
Nagano could remember their first kiss like it had been yesterday. But he could also remember the day after that, when Sakamoto had acted like nothing had ever happened. They had gone back to their normal friendly way of acting towards each other. Nagano hadn’t admitted it, but it hurt him like hell. He had really thought that there had been something special between them - but it had seemed he had been wrong.
Days later Sakamoto had asked him to go out again - and Nagano had agreed. He had wanted to tell the other that he was hurt, that he didn’t want that. But in the end he had let himself be kissed again. And again Sakamoto had ignored him afterwards.
Nagano didn’t know why the other had played such a game, but nowadays he wondered if Sakamoto had just been too afraid to start something real. At least he wanted to believe in this.
They had played that game over weeks, and slowly Nagano had become desperate and angry. But everything had gotten worse after they had spent a night together. After Sakamoto had disappeared once more, and had acted once more like nothing had happened between them.
It had been that day that Nagano had ended everything. He had started avoiding the other. He skipped his calls, he didn’t react to messages and he didn’t open the door for the other. Their friendship was gone - it was just a thing of tolerating each other. Back then Nagano had always felt Ken’s eyes resting on him, Innochi’s tries to lighten up his mood and he had also seen Okada at Sakamoto’s side together with Go. He had feared that they would split into two groups because of their issues, but luckily Sakamoto didn’t let that happen.
Nagano knew he had always been a little stubborn, sometimes maybe too stubborn, but he had also been really young, and it was hard to admit it, but Sakamoto had been his first love. But some weeks after he had ended everything, Sakamoto asked him for a talk. They had spoken about their whole messed up relationship. Sakamoto had told him about his fears, about his family and their wish of their son being married and having children. He had told him about his fear of being uncovered by media and about fans running wild because of that.
Nagano couldn’t deny that he was afraid, but other than Sakamoto he didn’t want others to decide about the life he wanted to have. In the end they decided to stay something like friends, but Nagano knew that this wouldn’t work out. There had been too many feelings between them, and they weren't able to see each other as friends. So they went the opposite way and had hardly any contact anymore. It had hurt Nagano more than being loved and pushed away by the other, and he found himself longing for the time Sakamoto had pulled him closer and pushed him away in one turn. It was easier to handle than the cold way they acted now.
It took them two years till Nagano had the feeling that they were able to act normal towards each other again. Back then he was even strong enough to tell the others that he had a relationship with someone. He had stared at Sakamoto to maybe see any kind of affection because Nagano had someone else, but he had just smiled at him, and he had congratulated him with no sign of sadness. Even though years had passed, it still had hurt Nagano that the other had reacted like this. He had wondered if Sakamoto had really deleted all his feelings for him?
The relationship Nagano had didn’t hold long. In the end he had to admit that his heart wasn’t open for someone else. And even though he might have given it a try, he didn’t want to hurt someone else. It was his personal mess and he didn’t want to pull someone else into it.
Nagano hadn’t told his band mates about the break up immediately, but when he heard Sakamoto whispering him an almost silent ‘I am sorry’, he knew that the other was able to read his mood. Nagano just didn’t know if Sakamoto knew that he was the reason for all this.
The mood between them got a little better over the following months, and Nagano could feel something like getting closer again. His heart had made some happy jumps about this, but he didn’t want to be too chipper about it - and in the end he did know why he had stayed reserved.
One day Sakamoto came to a band meeting with her - and Nagano’s heart broke into thousands of pieces. He felt like throwing up. She had been nice, but Nagano hated her. He apologized and stepped outside to get some fresh air. He heard someone behind him, but before the person could say something, Nagano started speaking. “I am sure your family is happy now.” He had to prevent himself from crying, but to his surprise he stayed strong. “I wish you all the best.” With that he had left.
They never talked about that either. Nagano avoided the other more than he had done before, and Sakamoto had given him the space and didn’t try talking with him about the whole situation.
“When will you bring her along again?” Okada had asked months later when they had been out for ramen.
Nagano had just agreed to join them, because he didn’t want to others to get suspicious about their situation. He tried avoiding Sakamoto’s gaze when Okada had asked this, but somehow he couldn’t prevent himself from looking up. Sakamoto’s eyes flickered and he smiled just a tiny bit. That was unusual of him. “I won’t bring her along again. She…wasn’t the right one,” he just said.
There was hope spreading in Nagano, even though he knew that this wasn’t right, because Sakamoto wouldn’t choose him out of a sudden. It was just a wish he had in his heart. Nothing would change between them, but Nagano was curious why the other suddenly broke up with this girl. They had fit perfectly after all. He just didn’t know if he was allowed to ask. She wasn’t the right girl? That sounded like there was someone else in Sakamoto’s heart. Could it be that it was him?
After this meeting they had shared another night together, and Nagano hated himself for being so weak. He knew exactly how this would end. Sakamoto would go his own way, and he would be left behind again.
The morning after, he didn’t dare to open his eyes. Nagano was sure that the other was already gone. He turned in his bed and indeed there was no one. He sighed. It was so damn clear that this would happen. He stood up and took a hot shower before he walked into his kitchen to drink a cup of coffee. He blinked when he entered the room.
“I wasn’t sure if you like cupcakes or bacon with eggs, so I bought cupcakes and made some bacon and eggs. And the coffee is also ready.” Sakamoto smiled at him almost shyly. He wasn’t gone? Nagano took his cup and a big sip of coffee before he felt able to realize the whole situation here. Should he freak out now? No, that would be no use.
“You aren’t gone,” was all he said.
Sakamoto shrugged. “I wanted to run away, but I realized that I would just run in circles and in the end I would be here again.” He looked directly at Nagano. “Just if you want to give this a try after I haven’t been the nicest person at all.”
He knew that he should have said no, but Nagano couldn’t. This was the only thing he had always longed for, the only one he had ever let in his heart. He couldn’t push him away. It was simply not possible.
It was the start of a relationship with a lot of ups and downs, but they always stuck together. They faced problems; their bond survived fights like Sakamoto’s parents not accepting Nagano in the beginning, the weird situation in the group and the stares from others in the agency. But it didn’t make them give up - their bond grew stronger through this.
And now… years have passed and Nagano is sitting there, staring at his band mate and lover. It isn't the big love between them anymore. Routine has caught them, but they learned to work together as a team. They work. After all the troubles they have gone through it would need much more to separate them ever again.
“Can we go?” Sakamoto smiles at him, offering his hand.
Nagano takes the hand in his; it still feels warm and their intertwined fingers make something in Nagano jump happily. Their world isn't in pink love bubbles anymore, but the closeness Nagano feels between them, and the love he could feel in the other one’s eyes are still more than enough to know why he is together with him.
Title: Steps of love
Pairing: Nagano Hiroshi/ Sakamoto Masayuki
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Summary: Love can grow through time
Notes: Dear alois_trancy , I never wrote V6 before, but I hope you'll like it :)
Seeing him standing there had always been hard for Nagano. He sometimes wondered why everything went the way it did. They liked each other, hated each other, and loved each other. Feelings were coming and going, but everything they shared was full of passion.
Nagano hid behind the book he was currently reading when he saw Sakamoto looking up at him. He didn’t want the other to see that he was obviously thinking of him. He knew Sakamoto - he wouldn’t allow any emotions to show when others were around. To be stoic - that was the way he always behaved towards Nagano when their band mates and friends were around.
He could remember that Okada had once asked him about his relationship with Sakamoto. He was worried because they seemed to dislike each other - he had no idea about Nagano’s real feelings, and that was probably the best thing. He and Sakamoto had always kept silent about the few times they had shared with each other, and it should stay like that, just that Nagano sometimes admired younger colleagues and friends, who talked about their relationships openly - at least as far as it was possible in their job.
And some weeks ago Okada came to them, smiling the way he had never seen him smiling before. Nagano had immediately known that something really good had happened to his friend. Okada had told them that he was going to marry soon, and he was so chipper and happy while he told them about this, that Nagano wondered if real love could really change someone’s behaviour. Not that Okada was a sad or gloomy character, but he had a special sparkle in his eyes, and his laughter had been like a child's seeing snowflakes for the first time in their life. It had definitely been a special situation for Okada and also for them.
Nagano was happy for his friend, and he just wished him the life he himself wished to have, but there was something else in him - a small, jumping point, not bigger than a seed, but it jumped in him, hurting in his chest like someone was pushing needles into his skin. Was he envious? Was he sad? Angry? He didn’t know… maybe a mixture of everything.
Nagano had looked at Sakamoto’s reaction back then, and to his surprise Sakamoto had smiled at Okada like he hardly ever did. Of course Okada had always had a special place in Sakamoto’s heart, because he had been their band baby, but these times had been over long ago.
Nagano sighed. It couldn’t be that he was jealous because of Okada? He was their friend and he would marry soon, and why the hell was Nagano now thinking about the smile Sakamoto had shown Okada, but probably wouldn’t show him?
The first time they had met outside work, Nagano had been all chipper about it. Of course he had been younger back then, and everything was so new to him, he couldn’t even say what these feelings inside him had been. They had walked in a big park after a nice yakiniku and some beer. It was a warm evening and they could even see some stars in the night sky, which was rare in a city like Tokyo.
Nagano could remember their first kiss like it had been yesterday. But he could also remember the day after that, when Sakamoto had acted like nothing had ever happened. They had gone back to their normal friendly way of acting towards each other. Nagano hadn’t admitted it, but it hurt him like hell. He had really thought that there had been something special between them - but it had seemed he had been wrong.
Days later Sakamoto had asked him to go out again - and Nagano had agreed. He had wanted to tell the other that he was hurt, that he didn’t want that. But in the end he had let himself be kissed again. And again Sakamoto had ignored him afterwards.
Nagano didn’t know why the other had played such a game, but nowadays he wondered if Sakamoto had just been too afraid to start something real. At least he wanted to believe in this.
They had played that game over weeks, and slowly Nagano had become desperate and angry. But everything had gotten worse after they had spent a night together. After Sakamoto had disappeared once more, and had acted once more like nothing had happened between them.
It had been that day that Nagano had ended everything. He had started avoiding the other. He skipped his calls, he didn’t react to messages and he didn’t open the door for the other. Their friendship was gone - it was just a thing of tolerating each other. Back then Nagano had always felt Ken’s eyes resting on him, Innochi’s tries to lighten up his mood and he had also seen Okada at Sakamoto’s side together with Go. He had feared that they would split into two groups because of their issues, but luckily Sakamoto didn’t let that happen.
Nagano knew he had always been a little stubborn, sometimes maybe too stubborn, but he had also been really young, and it was hard to admit it, but Sakamoto had been his first love. But some weeks after he had ended everything, Sakamoto asked him for a talk. They had spoken about their whole messed up relationship. Sakamoto had told him about his fears, about his family and their wish of their son being married and having children. He had told him about his fear of being uncovered by media and about fans running wild because of that.
Nagano couldn’t deny that he was afraid, but other than Sakamoto he didn’t want others to decide about the life he wanted to have. In the end they decided to stay something like friends, but Nagano knew that this wouldn’t work out. There had been too many feelings between them, and they weren't able to see each other as friends. So they went the opposite way and had hardly any contact anymore. It had hurt Nagano more than being loved and pushed away by the other, and he found himself longing for the time Sakamoto had pulled him closer and pushed him away in one turn. It was easier to handle than the cold way they acted now.
It took them two years till Nagano had the feeling that they were able to act normal towards each other again. Back then he was even strong enough to tell the others that he had a relationship with someone. He had stared at Sakamoto to maybe see any kind of affection because Nagano had someone else, but he had just smiled at him, and he had congratulated him with no sign of sadness. Even though years had passed, it still had hurt Nagano that the other had reacted like this. He had wondered if Sakamoto had really deleted all his feelings for him?
The relationship Nagano had didn’t hold long. In the end he had to admit that his heart wasn’t open for someone else. And even though he might have given it a try, he didn’t want to hurt someone else. It was his personal mess and he didn’t want to pull someone else into it.
Nagano hadn’t told his band mates about the break up immediately, but when he heard Sakamoto whispering him an almost silent ‘I am sorry’, he knew that the other was able to read his mood. Nagano just didn’t know if Sakamoto knew that he was the reason for all this.
The mood between them got a little better over the following months, and Nagano could feel something like getting closer again. His heart had made some happy jumps about this, but he didn’t want to be too chipper about it - and in the end he did know why he had stayed reserved.
One day Sakamoto came to a band meeting with her - and Nagano’s heart broke into thousands of pieces. He felt like throwing up. She had been nice, but Nagano hated her. He apologized and stepped outside to get some fresh air. He heard someone behind him, but before the person could say something, Nagano started speaking. “I am sure your family is happy now.” He had to prevent himself from crying, but to his surprise he stayed strong. “I wish you all the best.” With that he had left.
They never talked about that either. Nagano avoided the other more than he had done before, and Sakamoto had given him the space and didn’t try talking with him about the whole situation.
“When will you bring her along again?” Okada had asked months later when they had been out for ramen.
Nagano had just agreed to join them, because he didn’t want to others to get suspicious about their situation. He tried avoiding Sakamoto’s gaze when Okada had asked this, but somehow he couldn’t prevent himself from looking up. Sakamoto’s eyes flickered and he smiled just a tiny bit. That was unusual of him. “I won’t bring her along again. She…wasn’t the right one,” he just said.
There was hope spreading in Nagano, even though he knew that this wasn’t right, because Sakamoto wouldn’t choose him out of a sudden. It was just a wish he had in his heart. Nothing would change between them, but Nagano was curious why the other suddenly broke up with this girl. They had fit perfectly after all. He just didn’t know if he was allowed to ask. She wasn’t the right girl? That sounded like there was someone else in Sakamoto’s heart. Could it be that it was him?
After this meeting they had shared another night together, and Nagano hated himself for being so weak. He knew exactly how this would end. Sakamoto would go his own way, and he would be left behind again.
The morning after, he didn’t dare to open his eyes. Nagano was sure that the other was already gone. He turned in his bed and indeed there was no one. He sighed. It was so damn clear that this would happen. He stood up and took a hot shower before he walked into his kitchen to drink a cup of coffee. He blinked when he entered the room.
“I wasn’t sure if you like cupcakes or bacon with eggs, so I bought cupcakes and made some bacon and eggs. And the coffee is also ready.” Sakamoto smiled at him almost shyly. He wasn’t gone? Nagano took his cup and a big sip of coffee before he felt able to realize the whole situation here. Should he freak out now? No, that would be no use.
“You aren’t gone,” was all he said.
Sakamoto shrugged. “I wanted to run away, but I realized that I would just run in circles and in the end I would be here again.” He looked directly at Nagano. “Just if you want to give this a try after I haven’t been the nicest person at all.”
He knew that he should have said no, but Nagano couldn’t. This was the only thing he had always longed for, the only one he had ever let in his heart. He couldn’t push him away. It was simply not possible.
It was the start of a relationship with a lot of ups and downs, but they always stuck together. They faced problems; their bond survived fights like Sakamoto’s parents not accepting Nagano in the beginning, the weird situation in the group and the stares from others in the agency. But it didn’t make them give up - their bond grew stronger through this.
And now… years have passed and Nagano is sitting there, staring at his band mate and lover. It isn't the big love between them anymore. Routine has caught them, but they learned to work together as a team. They work. After all the troubles they have gone through it would need much more to separate them ever again.
“Can we go?” Sakamoto smiles at him, offering his hand.
Nagano takes the hand in his; it still feels warm and their intertwined fingers make something in Nagano jump happily. Their world isn't in pink love bubbles anymore, but the closeness Nagano feels between them, and the love he could feel in the other one’s eyes are still more than enough to know why he is together with him.