je_united gift fic for lybrint Part 1/3
Lovely fic for lybrint
Title: Close to You
Pairing: Nishikido/Yamashita, Nishikido/Kamenashi, Nishikido/Ueda
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Ryo’s been in love with Yamapi since he was fourteen. They date a bit but it doesn’t work out. Yamapi was Ryo’s first everything and it’s not that easy to get over him.
Notes The Fic was inspired by the songs “Close to you” and “Still young” by the Neon Trees, I suggest you have a listen before you read :)! I had a fun time writing this - even though my idea kinda exploded and it got out of hand haha! I hope you like it!
“Heeeey~ You made it!” A man said as he approached the table at which two boys were sitting.
The shortest of the two hurried to finish his sip of beer, wiped his mouth and spoke up, “Hiroto, we’ve been here for like an hour, we’re on our third drink,” he added, gesturing to the glasses that were on the table.
“Three drinks, Ryo?” The boy said, arching an eyebrow at the other, “Bro, you’re sixteen, you shouldn’t be drinking this much… in a bar no less. Which is why…” He grinned and took Ryo’s glass to take a sip from it, “I’ll be confiscating it~”
“You’re nineteen!” Ryo whined as he stole his beer back. “And fuck off, I’m turning seventeen in like three days. Seriously though, why’re you here so late?”
Hiroto shrugged, “Went to get a drink with the guys.”
Ryo narrowed his eyes, “So… you went to get a drink with the guys… before you came to the pub to get another drink with the guys?” He looked at the other boy that was with him and snorted, “Honestly, Reio, you sure he’s not your brother? Seems like the Bakanishi genes to me.”
“Oi!” Reio said, narrowing his eyes as well, “I have Jin as a stupid brother, one’s enough. Keep yours. Speaking of stupid brothers,” Reio said as he looked around, “Where’s mine?”
Hiroto looked over at the bar and then back at Reio, “Last time I saw him he was with Pi getting a drink. We go up on stage in like twenty minutes so they decided to take the edge off with shots before we have to go backstage. I suggested doing a shot, singular, but Jin decided to go with shots, plural. They’re lucky this pub doesn’t ask for ID. And they’ll also be lucky if they don’t throw up on stage.”
Ryo snorted and took a sip of his beer, “Why d’you think me and Reio’ve been coming here since we were fifteen?”
“Because it’s a gay pub and you’re gay?” Hiroto supplied, a smirk on his lips. “And Reio likes to drink little fancy frou-frou drinks so he follows you around even though he’s not gay?”
“Fuck off,” Ryo muttered his cheeks heating up, straightening up when he saw two blonde guys approaching their table.
“Shove over Reio,” The blonde with brushed back hair said.
“What?! No! Fuck off!” Reio whined, pushing Jin on the shoulders. “Jiiiin, why’re you being such a dick?!” Jin was Reio’s older brother and for as long as Ryo had known them, they’d always fought.
“If you share with me, I’ll let you have a shot.”
“Deal.”
Ryo snorted, “Wow. Never knew you were that easy, Reio.” He jumped a bit when he felt that someone else was standing very close to him and when he realized that it was Yamapi, the third member of his brother’s band, he smiled at him and shifted a bit. “H-Hey.”
Ryo had been best friends with Reio for as long as he could remember. Ryo’s family had moved to Tokyo from Osaka when Ryo was five. They lived on the same street as the Akanishis and, if Ryo remembered right, they’d met them at the park one day in the summer. Jin and Hiroto had started to play soccer together and during that time, Ryo had stayed with his mother, too shy to mingle. She’d been talking to another lady, Reio and Jin’s mother, when Reio had come along, asking for a snack. Their mothers introduced them and they’d been best friends ever since.
When they went to each other's house, it often happened that their brothers were also together with their other friend Yamashita Tomohisa, better known as ‘Yamapi’. He’d been Jin’s friend first but he introduced him to Hiroto at school and the trio grew inseparable. Ryo was more friends with Jin than he was with Yamapi. But not even by that much. Hiroto was the jealous type and hated when Ryo talked to his friends - he called Ryo names and often made him look like an idiot to make Jin and Yamapi laugh, causing for Ryo to walk off, mad and/or embarrassed.
He and Hiroto got along well but not as well as Reio and Jin did, despite how the two were fighting right now.
Over the years, Ryo had come to realize that he had developed a crush on Yamapi. At first he didn’t know what it was but he noticed that every time he saw the older boy, his heart raced in his chest and his cheeks heated up. He barely knew the other but every time they spoke, Yamapi was kind to him and Ryo found himself unable to reply - Ryo had always had what his parents called a ‘poison tongue’ but Yamapi seemed to take that away from him - and Hiroto teased him whenever that happened, causing for Ryo to leave the room and hide in his room.
The first person Ryo had come out to was Reio. And it was Reio who found the pub they were currently at - the boy had noticed that his friend was hurting and he’d wanted to help the other feel better. So he found them a place where Ryo would feel comfortable - it had been a long-shot, seeing as they were minors and he didn’t really know if Ryo liked bars or not but Ryo had really liked the place. It was pretty pretty big for a pub but even so, it didn’t have that many tables. People always had their personal space even if all of the tables were taken.
The busiest nights were when they had a live band playing - on those days, some tables were moved to the back to make room for a standing crowd or for people who wanted to dance.
Now, it was two years later and it was still their ‘go-to’ place for when they just wanted to talk or have a drink. The owners knew them so they let them drink… even if they weren’t supposed to.
After that, Ryo came out to his family and a few close friends but that was it. As far as Ryo knew, neither Jin nor Yamapi knew that he was into guys. Ryo didn’t really mind if they knew, but he didn’t really want Yamapi to see him differently or think that he was weird or… disgusting..
Even if that was the case, Yamapi had been the one to make Ryo realize that he was gay and Ryo was never going to forget that, even if Yamapi hated him for it.
“Yo,” Yamapi said, smiling at Ryo. “Hiro told us you two would be here, thanks. We really need the support. It’s our first time playing in such a big place.”
When Yamapi blew his blonde bangs out of his eyes, Ryo felt like his heart skipped a beat.
It wasn’t as blonde as Jin’s hair though. Yamapi’s pulled more on a light orange but he had a few blonde streaks in the middle. Jin was just… full head, bleached and dyed with not a single fuck to give. It suited him, that much Ryo would admit, but even though Jin was handsome, to Ryo, he wasn’t as handsome as Yamapi. (Though maybe that was because he was Reio’s brother. But that was neither here nor there.
“Uh yeah,” Ryo hurried to answer, trying not to seem too flustered - the beer was probably helping at this point. “Reio wanted to come support Jin and well, I’m here for Hiro and we’re here for you too, obviously,” Ryo blurted out nervously. “A-And I’ve been listening to you guys play for years so I already know that you’re good...”
Stupid, Ryo. You sound like a stupid fanboy.
“I um,” he cleared his throat and took a sip of his beer, “I wasn’t expecting you guys to come play here, to be honest.”
That night the pub was holding a special event that invited artists from around the city to come play to show their support to the LGBTQ community - all of the proceeds were going to be donated to a foundation that helps kids in need. So sure, Hiroto knew that Ryo was gay but he’d never shown an interest in supporting the cause.
“That was Hiro’s idea, actually,” Yamapi said with a nod. “Said that they were doing an event for local groups that support the LGBTQ community and suggested that we participate. It’s good exposure and, well, we support it so yeah.”
“And… so like, this is just a gig?” Ryo said, frowning a bit as he tried to understand Yamapi’s words. He felt like he was missing something.
“Well yeah, obviously, we need as much visibility as possible but, I mean, I support the cause too. And in some way, so does Jin and Hiroto too, obviously, but not in the same way that I do.”
Ryo chuckled and finished off his beer, “You’re gonna have to make more sense than that.”
“I’m-” Just as Yamapi was about to speak, Jin and Hiroto grabbed his arms and dragged him off, yelling excitedly that it was their turn soon and that they had to go prepare. Ryo frowned a bit, seeing as he wanted to hear what Yamapi had to say but when the other waved at him, Ryo smiled back and waved as well.
Once Yamapi was out of sight, Ryo sighed and turned to Reio, “I was finally having a conversation with him and our stupid brothers dragged him off. That’s rude.”
“It is,” Reio said, taking the shot that Jin had left behind. “Very rude, even. Lord knows that you haven’t talked this much with him since you’ve known him and you’ve known him for over ten years.”
“That’s totally not true!” Ryo whined, slumping on his chair.
“Okay no,” Reio started, “Not true. When he used to babysit us with Jin and Hiro - he talked a lot to you but I don’t think that counts. You didn’t know you were gay for him at the time~”
Ryo wanted to retaliate, he really did. But to some extent, his friend was right.
He hated when Reio was right.
Well.
He hated when Akanishis were right. If anything, that always felt wrong.
So Ryo just muttered a few swears and took a sip of his beer, “Fuck off, Akanishi.”
Throughout the performance, Ryo only had eyes for Yamapi. Hiroto was at the drums, and both Jin and Yamapi had an acoustic guitar - something that Ryo had always wanted to learn how to play but Hiroto had mocked him, saying that he just wanted to play to copy them.
When he was at Reio’s, they sometimes used Jin’s guitar without telling him and, thanks to modern technology aka Youtube, they’d learned a few basic things. It didn’t compare at all to what their brothers could do but it was good, considering that neither of them had taken classes. Ryo had been taking (forced) piano classes since he was five, and Reio had been more the sports type and he’d been playing soccer - he wasn’t the musical type but he liked learning the guitar with Ryo.
Ryo did his best to look at the other guys, just to make it less obvious that he wa totally into Yamapi, even though he was pretty sure that at this point, the other boy knew. They’d exchanged a few glances and at some point, Yamapi had even winked at him, causing for Ryo’s cheeks to go red and for him to take a few shots.
The guys sang a few songs and once they were done, they took a small detour to the bar for a few drinks and to chat with a few people before they came back to the table Ryo and Reio were sat at. At this point during the night, Ryo was more than a little bit tipsy so he didn’t feel as shy anymore - he wanted to make the most of the time he had with Yamapi.
“You guys were amazing,” Ryo said with a chuckle, leaning onto Yamapi a bit when the other sat back down next to him. “Like, amazing,” he repeated.
“Thanks,” Yamapi said, grinning at Ryo.
Just as he was going to speak again, he was cut off by Hiroto who didn’t miss an opportunity to tease his little brother. “You’re drunk~” Hiroto teased, far from sober himself, considering all the shots he’d taken. “You’re totally fanboying on Pi~”
“Shut up!” Ryo snapped, glaring at his brother. “Am not!”
“Are too~ And you’re flirting~”
“G-Guys,” Yamapi said, chuckling a bit. He placed his hand on Hiroto’s shoulder and pointed at the bar, “Why don’t you go get yourself another drink, hm? And bring me and Jin something back too,” he added, slipping a few bills into the boy’s front pocket.
Once Hiroto was gone, Yamapi turned back to look at Ryo, “Ignore him, that’s what I do.”
Ryo chuckled nervously and bit at the insides of his cheeks, trying to figure out what he could say next. Yamapi had leaned in as well so they didn’t have to yell and Ryo could smell the other’s cologne like he was wearing. It was intoxicating - it was all he could think about.
“I-I… that’s what I’ve been doing since I’ve known him but yeah, he gets to me. Teases me about everything I do.”
“Yeah,” Yamapi chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “I noticed that. He can be a shit brother to you sometimes but I hope you know that he loves you.”
Ryo snorted and rolled his eyes, slumping on his seat a bit. Just as he’d opened his mouth to reply, he felt a hand on his knee and he followed it up to see that it was in fact Yamapi’s hand on his knee. He didn’t know why it was there but at this point, it was all Ryo could feel. It was like a concentration of heat on his right knee.
“It’s true, he does. He talks about you, you know?”
“Bet he bitches about me too.”
“Well,” Yamapi laughed and took a sip from his drink, his hand still on Ryo’s knee. “That too, but remember two years ago when you got bullied a lot?” When Ryo nodded he went on, “Never saw Hiroto that mad before. Seriously, he wanted to fight everyone that bitched about you, saying that he was the only one allowed to talk shit about you.”
Ryo shook his head and laughed, “That sounds like him, but at the same time he can be such a dick to me that I can barely believe it.” Yamapi squeezed his knee a bit and Ryo frowned, “...Yamashita?” He wasn’t sure why the other had just done that. It felt like Yamapi was trying to convey some emotion but Ryo couldn’t tell what it was.
“You still call me that?” Yamapi asked with a laugh, already forgetting what he was going to say. “We’ve known each other since you were like, five, and you still call me Yamashita?”
He saw Ryo blush and he chuckled, “You call Jin Jin, going on that logic, why haven’t I moved up from my last name too~?”
“W-Well, Hiro and Jin gave you the ‘Yamapi’ nickname after you showed up to school with weird-ass pink hair and you hated it so… I didn’t wanna call you by something you didn’t like.”
“Aw, that’s sweet,” Yamapi said, smiling softly at Ryo. “Still though, We’ve known each other for over ten years. Lose the Yamashita~” He said with a wink before he patted Ryo’s knee and got up. “I’m gonna get something to drink. You want something?”
“Uh, no. I’m,” Ryo glanced at his glass and he was surprised to see that it was empty. He’d expected it to be half full - he hadn’t realized that he’d drank that much. “I… yeah, sure. Let me get you some money,” he said as he reached for his wallet.
“Nah man, it’s on me,” the older boy said, winking once more at Ryo before he left.
Once Yamapi was gone, Ryo started to look around for Reio. He hadn’t noticed, but his best friend had started to talk to a girl a few moments earlier and he’d gone over to her table.
They were in a gay bar… so in the back of his mind, Ryo wondered if the girl thought that Reio was gay and just wanted to chat with him… or maybe she was the gay one. Either way, Ryo was curious to know if someone was gay or if the girl was straight and also interested in him.
Whatever the case was, Ryo wanted to talk to his friend about his current interactions with Yamapi but at the same time, he didn’t want to interrupt him - it would have to wait.
“What’s got you so preoccupied?” A voice asked behind him.
Ryo turned around and expected to see Yamapi. But when he saw that it was just some random bloke, his smile faded. Sure the guy was hot and probably his type but Ryo wasn’t looking to find someone - he just wanted to keep talking to Yamapi for as long as he could. “Um…”
“Everything alright?” The man asked, leaning closer to Ryo, his elbow on the table, basically occupying as much space as he could to make sure that Ryo noticed him. “You here alone? Came for the bands? I was on first~”
“Um…” Ryo tried to process all of the questions and he found that they’d all just become one big blur in his drunken mind. He’d been coming here for two years, and he’d never gotten hit on. Ever.
Granted when he came it was mostly during happy hours so people weren’t as drunk… and him being here tonight was an exception. Maybe he’d never gotten hit on because he was always with Reio… hell even the owners thought at the two were dating at some point... but still.
“What?” The man laughed, edging a bit closer. “D’you have a boyfriend?”
“He does, actually,” Yamapi replied as he wrapped an arm around Ryo’s shoulders. “Sorry man~”
“What?!” Ryo said, while the other man simply laughed, “No worries, I don’t go after taken dudes.” He winked at Ryo and left.
“What just happened?” Ryo asked, looking at Yamapi as the man walked around the table to go back to his seat.
Yamapi placed the drinks down and smirked at Ryo, “That dude was just hitting on you. And unless you actually wanted to date him, I saved you~”
Ryo rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink, “Yeah, I got that much. I just wasn’t expecting it. And no, thanks. I didn’t wanna date him.”
“Of course not,” Yamapi cooed, chuckling when he saw Ryo’s cheeks go red.
“Y-You know, you don’t have to spend your time with me. You can go talk to Hiro and Jin… Reio abandoned me, I’d just go home, it’s fine.”
“Jin’s talking to the keyboardist of one of the groups, Hiro’s… probably throwing up in the trash, let’s face it, and Reio’s talking to a lesbian.”
“What about you? Don’t you wanna go...I dunno, mingle with your fans, chat up some girl or something?”
“But I’m already mingling with a fan~” Yamapi said brattily. “Aren’t I~?”
“Shut up,” Ryo said as he looked away, blushing a bit. “But compared to them, I’m totally boring and well, you already know me.”
“I dunno if it’s the booze or cause it’s late, but I really don’t see your point.”
“It’s just…” Ryo sighed and got up, “Never mind. I don’t even know what my point is.” He swayed a bit when his foot hit the ground and he immediately grabbed on to the closest thing, which happened to be Yamapi’s arm. “T-Thanks,” he said, smiling a bit at the other. “I haven’t gotten up in a while, guess I’m more drunk than I thought.”
“You wanna get some air?”
“I… yeah, sure. Lemme just,” he turned to grab his drink off from the table and finished it. “There. Now we can go.”
Yamapi rolled his eyes and chuckled but ended up doing the same thing with his own drink before he got up and followed Ryo. Once they were outside, they were both hit with a gust of cold air and they recoiled on themselves a bit. “Didn’t expect this,” Yamapi laughed, wrapping his arms around himself.
“Well, we came with coats and the coats are at the cloakroom… so we kinda should’ve expected this,” Ryo said with a chuckle, moving over to the wall to shield himself from the wind. “There. Not that bad anymore.”
“Speak for yourself,” Yamapi said.
“Just come and stand here,” Ryo replied, moving a bit to the right. There wasn’t much space but he absolutely didn’t mind being close to Yamapi.
“D’you smoke?” Yamapi asked as he shuffled over to Ryo, close enough that their shoulders were brushing. He took his pack out and placed a cigarette between his lips, offering one to Ryo as he did.
“I... I’ve never tried, actually,” Ryo said, watching Yamapi light his cigarette. His eyes were solely focused on the other boy’s lips as Yamapi took a drag.
He’d never found smoking sexy or attractive and he’d always been against it but… seeing Yamapi smoke was clearly in his top 5 of sexiest moments. He just watched the other exhale his smoke and tried to figure out what he could say, even though nothing was coming to him.
Sure, maybe he was biased… well, he was biased because of his crush, but still, as he watched the smoke leave Yamapi’s ilps, and he’d never felt so turned on.
“You wanna?” Yamapi asked, offering Ryo his cigarette
“I…” Ryo considered it for a few seconds and took the offering. “Sure, I guess.”
As soon as he tried to take a drag, he started to cough and Yamapi hit his back gently “S-Sorry,” he said, blushing a bit. At least it was dark out and Yamapi couldn’t see it. “I’ve no idea what to do with this.”
Yamapi chuckled and waited for Ryo to try again before he took his cigarette back and took a long drag. “You get the hang of it at some point. You did better than Hiro, I can tell you that much.”
“Yeah, well,” Ryo chuckled, still watching Yamapi, “Hiro’s a fucking wuss so I’m not all that surprised and he probably only tried to look cool.”
“Basically, yeah,” Yamapi said, grinning before he took another drag. As he exhaled his smoke, he offered the joint to Ryo and watched him smoke. “So uh… you having fun tonight?”
Ryo nodded and focused on not choking as he exhaled the smoke, “Yeah, totally. The music’s great and so’s the venue.”
“It’s a pretty cool place, isn’t it?”
“Mm. Lots of space, big-ass bathroom with gigantic mirrors-”
“Hot bartenders,” Yamapi added.
Ryo had noticed that the women were good looking so Yamapi was right on that - but also the male bartenders were totally Ryo’s type as well - not that he was looking to date them, but still. He never said no to eye-candy. “Mm. Oh yeah. Super hot.”
Yamapi smirked and put out the cigarette on the nearest wall before he flicked it away, “Come on, let’s go back inside, it’s chilly here.”
When Ryo nodded, Yamapi took his wrist and led them back inside - and it wasn’t a minute later that a man came up to them and tried to get Yamapi’s attention.
“Yamapi!” He said, “Baby, I’ve been looking for you all night!”
“Shit,” Yamapi swore, cringing a bit. “My ex,” he said, recognizing the voice.
“Your ex?!” Ryo said, his eyes going wide.
Yamapi flashed him an apologetic smile and turned around, a very fake smile on his lips, “Heeeey, Toma. It’s been a while,” he said, chuckling nervously.
“I’ve missed you,” Toma said, pulling at the front of Yamapi’s shirt a bit. “I didn’t know you’d be here tonight~”
“Yeah, well,” Yamapi said, clearing his throat a bit while Ryo just watched. “H-Here I am.”
“Alone~?” Toma asked hopefully, his fingers curling on the material of the other’s shirt.
“I’m…” Yamapi looked at Ryo and something in his mind clicked. He distanced himself from Toma and wrapped and arm around Ryo’s shoulders… again, “With Ryo, actually.”
“I’m sorry you’re what now?!” Ryo asked, looking right back at Yamapi.
“With me. He’s with me,” Yamapi provided, smiling at Toma. “Biggest fan and boyfriend. Isn’t it cute~”
“I don’t buy it. The kid barely looks out of the closet, no offence,” Toma said, looking at Ryo. “You look out of place here, kid. You sure he isn’t just some fan you’re picking up for one night of fun~?”
“I-I’m-” Ryo wanted to say that he was very much out, thank you very much, and that he was a regular at this bar but Yamapi beat him to it.
“What he is or isn’t is none of your business, Toma. Accept that we’re over and that I’m with Ryo, end of story.”
“Please!” Toma laughed, rolling his eyes. “At least have the fucking decency to tell me the truth. His face is as red as your ass was after I’d slapped it a few times. Whether you know this kid or not, it doesn’t matter - all I know is that you’re not really dating. Really, Tomohisa, d’you wanna get rid of me that much?”
At this point, Ryo didn’t know what to think anymore. He was pretty sure that his drunk brain was pulling a fast one on him. And if the conversation wasn’t enough to make him think that, what happened next sure did the trick.
One moment he was starting at the pair, and the other, Yamapi had his hand on his jaw and he’d leaned in to kiss him.
Now. Ryo wasn’t mad about the kiss, not at all even. Kissing Yamapi had been the number one thing he’d wanted to do since he was fourteen - he just would’ve liked a warning first. Hell, he barely had time to pucker out his lips to reciprocate the kiss that Yamapi was already pulling away, leaving Ryo more shocked than ever.
As Ryo blushed to the deepest shade of red that was humanly possible, Toma just scoffed.
“Fine. If you’re going to go through all of that just to get rid of me. I’ll just go see if another band member somewhere wants to get laid.” He started to walk off and turned for half a second to say, “Great show, by the way.,” he chuckled and winked at Ryo before he walked off.
“I am so sorry about that,” Yamapi said, turning to Ryo as soon as Toma had left. “Are you pissed? You can totally be pissed at me, I’m so so sorry.”
“I-I… I’m not mad at you,” Ryo said, licking his lips a bit as he looked back at Yamapi. “I’m… shocked, more than anything… y-you’re gay?”
“I… thought you knew, yeah,” Yamapi said, scratching the back of his head a bit. “Hiro and Jin know and they’re both horrible secret keepers so I figured that they’d told you and Reio.”
Ryo shook his head, “He hasn’t said a thing. And… well, it’s super private and personal. Hiro’s a dick but he wouldn’t out someone just for shits and giggles.” He touched his lips again and he felt his heart racing in his chest. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that he’d kissed Yamapi and that if he played his cards right, he could maybe kiss him again one day.
He was so focused on that that he couldn’t even hear that Yamapi was talking to him. He was just thinking about how soft Yamapi’s lips had felt on his and how warm the man’s hand had been on his cheek.
“Yo, Ryo?” Yamapi said, passing his hand in front of Ryo’s face.
“Sorry, what?” Ryo said, his eyes going wide.
“You alright, man? Wow, I really spooked you, didn’t I? Toma was always a bit on the clingy side. Which is why we only dated for four months - broke up like two weeks ago… anyways, nevermind that, you don’t care about that. I’m sorry I used you as a decoy. I’ve already called you my boyfriend twice tonight - I swear I don’t do this with everyone. I mean, not that I do this on a daily basis or anything it’s just, wow, I’m gonna shut up, I’m sorry.”
“No, really, I don’t mind. I’m… flattered,” Ryo said, feeling himself blush all over again. “And… a bit embarrassed,” he added quietly.
“Embarrassed, what for?” Yamapi asked, leaning in a bit, a smile pulling at his lips.
“Th-That… was…” Ryo muttered, the rest of his sentence was drowned by the loud music and Yamapi just leaned in even more and asked, “Sorry, what?”
“Oh shit, it’s the kiss. Shit man, I’m sorry. Got kissed by a dude, and you don’t like that… shit man, sorry,” Yamapi said, cringing a bit.
“It’s not that,” Ryo hurried to say so Yamapi wouldn’t think that he was homophobic or something. He grabbed Yamapi’s wrist and pulled him aside so they wouldn’t get walked into more than necessary. “It’s just that… it was my first kiss.”
“With a dude,” Yamapi completed, nodding a bit.
“No like, ever.”
“You’ve never kissed a girl?”
“Ew, no,” Ryo said, the words escaping his lips faster than he could stop them. “I mean… I... “
“Let’s… get another drink, yeah?” Yamapi suggested. He could see that Ryo was uncomfortable and he didn’t want to force the other into saying anything he wasn’t ready to say.
When Yamapi took his wrist, Ryo’s hand moved on its own. He slid it down, just a bit, so that Yamapi was holding his hand instead. He studied the older boy’s face, watching to see if maybe Yamapi was repulsed by this or if Yamapi would jolt back but the other did none of that. He simply intertwined their fingers and pulled Ryo along towards the bar, causing for Ryo’s heart to nearly jump out of his chest. Hiroto was probably going to hear about this and Ryo would probably get teased but right now, he didn’t care at all. He just wanted to spend as much time as he could with Yamapi.
~
“So,” Reio said, throwing a baseball up towards his ceiling, catching it right after. “The show was two weeks ago and you’re choosing to tell me now that you kissed Yamapi?!”
“He kissed me,” Ryo stressed with a hiss, trying to keep his voice down, seeing as Jin, Hiroto, and Yamapi were practicing their songs right downstairs. “And it was just so he could make his ex leave, it totally didn’t mean anything. And when we left, he hugged me so like, no kissing or anything.”
“But, like…”
Reio sat up and frowned at Ryo, “You two spent the whole night together after that. Like, I almost had to pull you away. I could’ve sworn that something had happened. You did ask him out, right? Right?!”
“He… doesn’t know I’m into dudes,” Ryo confessed quietly. “I… it just seemed that it was too awkward to say.”
“So, lemme get this straight… Your long-term crush kisses you, buys you drinks, holds your hand, dances with you… in a gay bar no-less, and you think it’s too awkward to tell him that you’re also into him?!”
“What?! Whaddya mean also?! He’s not into me!”
“Oh, he totally is. Like, he used to look at you a lot but at the bar? That was some other level shit.”
“He used to look at me?!” Ryo said, grabbing the nearest pillow so he could throw it at his friend. “And you didn’t say anything?!”
“Assault!” Reio cried, throwing the pillow back at Ryo. “What was I meant to do?! I-” When he saw that his bedroom door was open and Jin was standing in the doorway, he chuckled nervously and relaxed. “Too much noise?”
Jin groaned, “It’s like you two have a five-girl slumber party up here. God, how are you this loud?!”
“Sorry,” Reio said glumly.
“Yeah. Just… shh.” Just as he was leaving, Jin took a step back and looked into the room again, “By the way, Ryo, Hiro wants to talk to you.”
“Ugh, what now,” Ryo said as he rolled his eyes and got up. He threw the pillow back at Reio and followed Jin downstairs.
He noticed that Yamapi was sat on the couch in the living room reading a magazine, but he decided to ignore it as much as he could. He was following Jin to get to Hiroto, that was it. If Yamapi was there when he came back, he’d talk to him then… if he could manage that that is.
They hadn’t spoken much over the last two weeks - and it wasn’t that Ryo was avoiding Yamapi, it’s just that their paths somehow didn’t cross as much.
“I,” Yamapi said, standing up when Ryo passed by.
“O-Oh, hi. Uh… sorry, it’s just that Hiro needs to talk to me, apparently.”
“He doesn’t, actually,” Yamapi said with a nervous chuckle while Jin left the room. “I asked Jin to get you for me.”
“Me? Why?” Ryo asked, cocking his head to the side a bit.
“I wanted to talk about what happened, at the bar, two weeks ago. I’ve been meaning to talk to you but… well, you’ve had school and we haven’t really had the chance to be alone.”
“N-No need, really. There’s nothing to talk about I-” What Yamapi didn’t know was that Ryo had be semi-avoiding the other these last few days. He knew that when he saw the other, his face went red and he only remembered how close they had been. With all of that in mind, he knew that he couldn’t go up to Yamapi. Well, he could, but he’d probably end up passing out if he did. Just the fact that Yamapi wanted to talk to him about what had happen was making his heart race - he was scared that Yamapi was going to apologize or say that it was a mistake and Ryo didn’t want that. If Yamapi apologized, if would just confirm that nothing could ever happen between them. Ever.
“I like you, Ryo. And I think you like me too,” Yamapi hurried to say before he could change his mind, visibly surprising Ryo with his words.
“Look, I know that we’d been drinking that night but I still think that there’s something between us - I’ve been feeling it for a while now and I wanna find out… If you want to too, I mean.”
“I… wow,” Ryo said, his cheeks heating up. Having Yamapi confess something like this really wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he’d agreed to sleeping over at Reio’s. Especially not considering what he’d just been thinking. Really, he’d only expected them to play video games until they passed out - now he just felt like he was going to pass out for a whole other reason. “I… how long?”
Yamapi chuckled, “Does it matter? I know kissing you that night was a dick move... and it really wasn’t how I pictured our first kiss, but please tell me that I’m not crazy. I know that I felt your lips move against mine at some point.”
“Y-You’re not crazy,” Ryo confessed quietly. He kept quiet for a few seconds, thinking about what the other had just said. He started to bite at his thumb like he always did when he was nervous and looked back up at Yamapi, “Does Hiro know about this?”
“Hiro? Oh God no. Jin knows but not Hiro. He ‘caught’ me once when I was looking at you. Once. And he nearly bit my head off, told me that I wasn’t allowed to date you. He never said if you were into guys or not but yeah, he basically made you forbidden fruit.”
Ryo snorted, “Yeah. That sounds like him… sorta. And… well, I guess you know now… I’m into dudes, yeah. Pretty much exclusively. I’m actually the one that talked to him about the event that the bar was gonna have. I go there a lot with Reio… Oh! Shit, Reio’s not gay though, I’m just saying that he’s the one that found the place for me when I first came out and felt out of place and yeah, never mind me, I’m a mess.”
“Dude, I’ve known you for ten years now, I know how to handle you.”
Ryo smirked at Yamapi and walked over to him, “You’re making it sound like I’ve already said yes to going out with you.”
“Well, you’re not denying it so… Can I take that as a yes?”
Ryo pretended to think it over, just to enjoy the look that was on the other’s face. “Yeah, I guess you can. Dinner? Friday night?”
“Sounds good,” Yamapi said, his face breaking into a bright smile. “I’ll pick you up at six?”
Ryo nodded and started to go backwards towards the stairs again. “Yeah, that’s perfect. So…”
“Yeah,” Yamapi chuckled, still smiling as he watched Ryo leave. “I’ll let you know what the place is.”
“Great.” Ryo started to go up the stairs and turned around to look at the other, only to see that Yamapi was looking right back at him, just like in the movies where one person watches the other leave until they’re out of sight.
He bit down on his lip and tried to go up the stairs at a normal pace. Sure, he wanted to run up to Reio and tell him everything but he didn’t want to look like a fifteen year old girl that just got asked to prom.
“That was quick,” Reio said, frowning a bit as Ryo came back into his room… frowning even more when Ryo closed the door, leaned back against it and slowly slid down until he was sat on the ground. “What’s with your face? It’s like a mix of happiness and… constipation. Ew.”
“Fuck off,” Ryo said, placing his hands on his cheeks to try and contain his excitement. “I didn’t talk to Hiro. I talked with Tomohisa. and I… have a date next Friday. He just asked me out!”
“What?! Shut up, no. Wait, Tomohisa? Never mind, spill!”
The night went on and Ryo told Reio everything, the whole time his smile didn’t leave his face. He really hoped that he wasn’t going to fuck this up. After all, he’d never had a boyfriend before and he had no idea how all of this worked - all he knew was that he wanted to fast forward to Friday so he could have his first official date with Yamapi.
Hopefully, the first of many.
~
Over the next couple of months, Ryo’s relationship with Yamapi just bloomed. They fit together perfectly and he was happier than ever. Their parents were all very supportive and the hardest person to convince that they weren’t fooling around was Hiroto. And to convince him, Ryo had played his ‘I’m a virgin, I don’t wanna “fool around” with someone, I want a relationship’ card, causing for his older brother to gag a bit and give them his blessing.
They saw each other as much as they could, despite Ryo still being in high school and Yamapi working as a waiter and doing a few occasional gigs here and there. Even if they saw each other just to sleep in the same bed, it was more than enough for Ryo.
Hell, he was surprised that his parents didn’t mind - but that was probably because they’d known Yamapi for as long as he had so they trusted him. It did piss of Hiroto, though. He’d bitched that he’d never been allowed to bring girls home when he’d started to date. Eventually, he accepted it and did agree to the fact that Ryo was more mature than he’d been at Ryo’s age.
“You know that kiss, at the bar?” Ryo said, looking at his boyfriend that was laying next to him.
They’d been on Ryo’s bed for at least an hour now, just listening to music with an earbud each. Hiroto was in his own room playing video games and he’d gotten mad at the pair because he felt like Ryo was stealing away his best friend but neither Ryo or Yamapi cared right now. Yamapi had spent two hours with Hiroto and now that it was bedtime, he slept with his boyfriend in a comfortable bed and not on a weird smelling futon on the floor of Hiroto’s room. Plus, Hiroto snored and talked in his sleep - Ryo on the other hand, didn’t take much room in the bed and liked cuddles. In Yamapi’s book, Ryo won.
“The impromptu kiss?” Yamapi said with a chuckle, “Yeah, I remember that one. Our first kiss~”
“Well… it was actually my first kiss ever.”
Yamapi’s eyes went wide and he nodded a bit, “Right… You were trying to tell me that… I think. I think I said something about you never having kissed a girl, too.”
“Which is still correct,” Ryo said, laughing as he did. “But yeah. First kiss ever. Man it was awkward.”
“Well,” Yamapi started, leaning into the other a bit to place a long kiss onto Ryo’s lips, “I can tell you for sure that you’ve gotten way better at it~”
“Have I?” Ryo asked playfully, turning to his back as Yamapi slowly got on top of him.
They’d made-out quite a lot and they’d grinded a few times but even so, after six months, Ryo still felt himself blush when his boyfriend got this close to him. “Maybe… Maybe I should keep practicing?” He suggested, looking up at the other.
“Maybe you should,” the other simply said, closing the distance again.
Ryo’s eyes fluttered shut and he let Yamapi lead the kiss. One of his hands went into Yamapi’s hair and the other slipped under Yamapi’s shirt so he could trail his fingers up and down the man’s back.
He could feel the other getting hard against him and it didn’t take much longer before Ryo rolled his hips up, surprising both himself and Yamapi. He’d never taken the initiative of doing that before and it had caused for Yamapi to pull away and looked down at Ryo, a small smirk on his lips.
“S-Sorry, it’s just, I-”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Yamapi cooed, leaning down to kiss down Ryo’s neck, making Ryo moan quietly, and again when their hips met. Yamapi had already mapped out all of the sensitive spots that were on Ryo’s neck and chest so he knew where to kiss to make Ryo feel good.
Over the last few months, Ryo had gained a lot of confidence. The first time that they’d done this, he’d barely moved, scared that he would do something wrong. He’d been scared that Yamapi was going to tell him off for it but, thankfully, his boyfriend was patient with him and he’d never rushed Ryo into doing something he wasn’t ready for.
But right now, Ryo wanted a bit more.
He rolled his hips up harder and wrapped a leg around Yamapi’s hips to lock them into place.
When he felt Yamapi’s hand going under his shirt and up his chest, he lifted his arms up and he let the other take his shirt off before he helped his boyfriend with his own. Ryo felt himself blush when he noticed that Yamapi was looking at him - he almost felt like prey with the way that Yamapi’s eyes were travelling over his stomach and chest. And sure, they’d seen each other shirtless before but Ryo still couldn’t believe that Yamapi found him that attractive. Sure, he knew that he wasn’t horrible to look at but the look in Yamapi’s eyes made it seem like he was the only thing he could see. “Babe,” Ryo chuckled, reaching up to pass his fingers through Yamapi’s hair, smiling softly as he did.
When Yamapi finally snapped back into reality, he smiled back at Ryo. He leaned down to kiss Ryo,s lips for a few seconds and went back to kissing Ryo’s neck, Ryo found himself scratching at Yamapi’s back. “M-More,” he said before he could stop himself. The grinding felt good but he wanted to feel something different, he wanted to feel Yamapi’s skin against his.
“As you wish,” Yamapi purred in the crook of Ryo’s neck. He kissed his way down Ryo’s chest and abdomen and toyed with the boy’s sweatpants before he pulled down down, leaving the other in his boxers. He kissed Ryo over the material and chuckled when Ryo rolled his hips up into his mouth. With Ryo’s hands in his hair, Yamapi knew what the next step was but as soon as he started to bring Ryo’s boxers down, Ryo’s hands left his hair and Yamapi looked up, only to see that Ryo had placed them on his face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, moving back up so he could look at Ryo properly.
“It’s nothing, it’s stupid,” Ryo muttered, his voice muffled by his hands.
“It’s not stupid,” Yamapi insisted, leading one of Ryo’s hands away from his face to see him. When he saw that Ryo’s eyes were watering, he immediately felt concerned for the other, scared that he’d done something wrong. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing!” Ryo reapeated, trying to blink the tears away. “It’s just… me. I’m… scared. Well, I think. I don’t know… the lights are on and you’ve never seen me naked and I’ve never seen you naked… that sorta stuff. My mind’s going in overdrive right now.”
Yamapi chuckled, relieved that Ryo was opening up. He leaned down to kiss Ryo’s forehead and got up from the bed so he could dim down the lights. “There, how’s that?” He asked as he settled onto the other again.
“B-Better,” Ryo said shyly.
“Hey, we can stop if you want us to, okay?” Yamapi said, passing a hand through Ryo’s hair.
Ryo closed his eyes and nodded, “Y-Yeah. I’ll tell you.”
“We’ll go slow,” Yamapi said, slipping a hand down Ryo’s body, kissing the boy’s neck as he did.
Once he felt Yamapi’s hand on him, Ryo shut his eyes tight and tried to focus on the touches and Yamapi’s scent that was surrounding him. There was nothing to be embarrassed about and he was safe with Yamapi.
He repeated those words a few times and after a little while, he rolled his hips up into Yamapi’s touch, moaning quietly as he did. It was already more that he was used to and he really hoped that he’d be able to make this last longer than just a few minutes.
“T-Tomohisa,” he whimpered, gasping against Yamapi’s lips when the other slipped his hand into Ryo’s boxers. He tried to control his voice so his brother and his parents wouldn’t hear him but it was almost too much for him to handle.
His hands found their way into Yamapi’s hair again and he breathed shakily as his boyfriend kissed down his chest and abdomen again. This time, he was determined to not look away. Yamapi clearly wasn’t going to laugh at him and that’s what mattered.
He bit down on his lip when Yamapi pulled down his boxers and when they made eye contact, Ryo blushed again. It was almost too much. Almost.
When Yamapi took him into his mouth, even if it was slowly at first, Ryo had to bring a fist to his mouth to try and quiet himself. He bucked his hips without him meaning too and Yamapi had to hold him down as he started to bob head faster and faster.
Ryo came faster than he’d admit to but he didn’t even care at that point. This was another relationship milestone for them and he was going to remember it forever. He was already so spent that he didn’t even realize that Yamapi had quickly left to go brush his teeth.
He only noticed when Yamapi had come back to snuggle him and Ryo smelled the mint in his breath.
He hummed happily, lifting his jaw a bit when his boyfriend started to place lazy kisses along it, “That was amazing~”
“I knew you’d like it,” Yamapi chuckled, trailing his fingers up and down Ryo’s back, sometimes going playfully low between Ryo’s cheeks. He grabbed Ryo’s bare ass for a second and trailed his fingers back upwards.
“What about you?” Ryo asked teasingly, still feeling that Yamapi was hard against him.
“I don’t wanna rush you into anything,” Yamapi murmured back.
“What if… what if I want to?” Ryo asked, looking up at the other, sneaking a hand between their bodies so he could rub the man over his sweats. “What if I wanna do this?”
“If that’s the case,” Yamapi said, licking his lips a bit, small pants escaping his lips as he tried to control his breathing. “I’m not gonna say no.”
“How’s this?” Ryo asked, putting a bit more pressure on Yamapi’s bulge. The other had done that for him earlier so he figured that the man would like it too. When he saw the sweat forming on Yamapi’s neck, Ryo smiled to himself a bit and pulled Yamapi’s sweats down. He guided the other to his back and slowly slipped his hand into Yamapi’s boxers to pump him.
“Fuck, Ryo,” Yamapi moaned, bucking his hips into the touch. His hand went back down to Ryo’s ass and he grabbed it again, rougher this time, causing for the younger boy to cry out a bit.
Ryo bit on his lower lip and moved his hand faster on the other. With all of the erotic sounds that Yamapi was making, he could feel himself getting hard again and the next thing he could think of doing was straddling Yamapi and rolling his hips down onto the other’s.
He felt Yamapi grabbing his ass with both hands and he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend to try and keep himself quiet as they moved, faster and faster, the bed nearly squeaking beneath them.
He had to pull away from the kiss to catch his breath and he felt like his face was on fire. He’d never felt this good before and he didn’t want it to end. Yamapi’s nails were digging into his skin, sure, but all he could think of was how amazing Yamapi’s dick felt against his.
“Babe,” Yamapi moaned, switching their positions so he could grind down onto Ryo, faster and harder. “I’m gonna come,” he murmured in the crook of Ryo’s neck. When he felt like he wouldn’t be able to last longer, he started to kiss Ryo again to muffle his moans.
After Yamapi had come, he’d started to pump Ryo and Ryo didn’t know what to do anymore. Yamapi was still kissing him and he was still on him so all Ryo could do was buck his hips up into Yamapi’s touch. His mind went blank a few moments later and he came over Yamapi’s hand and onto his stomach.
When he realized what had just happened, he was a bit embarrassed, especially considering the look of his chest and stomach, but it’s not like he could’ve done otherwise.
He looked up at Yamapi and when the man brought his thumb to his mouth to suck it clean of Ryo’s come, Ryo nearly choked on his tongue. “Fuck that’s hot,” he said, still trying to catch his breath.
Yamapi chuckled and sat up on Ryo as he kept sucking at his fingers, “If anything’s hot,” he started, looking down at Ryo, “It’s you~” He reached over to Ryo’s bedside table and grabbed a few tissues so he could wipe his fingers dry before he started to clean Ryo’s stomach.
“Tomohisa?” Ryo said, looking up at his boyfriend, his face still red from what they’d been doing.
“Mm? What is it?” Yamapi said, cleaning himself up before he threw the tissue away. He settled down next to Ryo on the bed and brought a blanket over them. He smiled at Ryo and brushed a strand out of the boy’s hair.
“I…” Ryo licked his lips a bit and murmured quietly, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Yamapi replied, leaning in to kiss Ryo’s forehead. “More than anything.”
Ryo chuckled and sniffled a bit. He’d never said ‘I love you’ to anyone other than his parents and closests friends before - and hearing it back seemed kind of surreal right now. He’d known long ago that he was in love over his head with Yamapi but he’d never found the right time to say it.
He wrapped his arms around Yamapi’s chest and held him close. “Me too,” he said, smiling when he felt Yamapi’s arms hold him as well.
Six months ago, he never would’ve believed that he’d be here, in Yamapi’s arms. If his future self had travelled back in time to tell him that, he would’ve laughed at himself. Everything was perfect and he didn’t want anything to change. The more the thought that, the more he felt like it was all too good to be true.
PART 2
Title: Close to You
Pairing: Nishikido/Yamashita, Nishikido/Kamenashi, Nishikido/Ueda
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: N/A
Summary: Ryo’s been in love with Yamapi since he was fourteen. They date a bit but it doesn’t work out. Yamapi was Ryo’s first everything and it’s not that easy to get over him.
Notes The Fic was inspired by the songs “Close to you” and “Still young” by the Neon Trees, I suggest you have a listen before you read :)! I had a fun time writing this - even though my idea kinda exploded and it got out of hand haha! I hope you like it!
“Heeeey~ You made it!” A man said as he approached the table at which two boys were sitting.
The shortest of the two hurried to finish his sip of beer, wiped his mouth and spoke up, “Hiroto, we’ve been here for like an hour, we’re on our third drink,” he added, gesturing to the glasses that were on the table.
“Three drinks, Ryo?” The boy said, arching an eyebrow at the other, “Bro, you’re sixteen, you shouldn’t be drinking this much… in a bar no less. Which is why…” He grinned and took Ryo’s glass to take a sip from it, “I’ll be confiscating it~”
“You’re nineteen!” Ryo whined as he stole his beer back. “And fuck off, I’m turning seventeen in like three days. Seriously though, why’re you here so late?”
Hiroto shrugged, “Went to get a drink with the guys.”
Ryo narrowed his eyes, “So… you went to get a drink with the guys… before you came to the pub to get another drink with the guys?” He looked at the other boy that was with him and snorted, “Honestly, Reio, you sure he’s not your brother? Seems like the Bakanishi genes to me.”
“Oi!” Reio said, narrowing his eyes as well, “I have Jin as a stupid brother, one’s enough. Keep yours. Speaking of stupid brothers,” Reio said as he looked around, “Where’s mine?”
Hiroto looked over at the bar and then back at Reio, “Last time I saw him he was with Pi getting a drink. We go up on stage in like twenty minutes so they decided to take the edge off with shots before we have to go backstage. I suggested doing a shot, singular, but Jin decided to go with shots, plural. They’re lucky this pub doesn’t ask for ID. And they’ll also be lucky if they don’t throw up on stage.”
Ryo snorted and took a sip of his beer, “Why d’you think me and Reio’ve been coming here since we were fifteen?”
“Because it’s a gay pub and you’re gay?” Hiroto supplied, a smirk on his lips. “And Reio likes to drink little fancy frou-frou drinks so he follows you around even though he’s not gay?”
“Fuck off,” Ryo muttered his cheeks heating up, straightening up when he saw two blonde guys approaching their table.
“Shove over Reio,” The blonde with brushed back hair said.
“What?! No! Fuck off!” Reio whined, pushing Jin on the shoulders. “Jiiiin, why’re you being such a dick?!” Jin was Reio’s older brother and for as long as Ryo had known them, they’d always fought.
“If you share with me, I’ll let you have a shot.”
“Deal.”
Ryo snorted, “Wow. Never knew you were that easy, Reio.” He jumped a bit when he felt that someone else was standing very close to him and when he realized that it was Yamapi, the third member of his brother’s band, he smiled at him and shifted a bit. “H-Hey.”
Ryo had been best friends with Reio for as long as he could remember. Ryo’s family had moved to Tokyo from Osaka when Ryo was five. They lived on the same street as the Akanishis and, if Ryo remembered right, they’d met them at the park one day in the summer. Jin and Hiroto had started to play soccer together and during that time, Ryo had stayed with his mother, too shy to mingle. She’d been talking to another lady, Reio and Jin’s mother, when Reio had come along, asking for a snack. Their mothers introduced them and they’d been best friends ever since.
When they went to each other's house, it often happened that their brothers were also together with their other friend Yamashita Tomohisa, better known as ‘Yamapi’. He’d been Jin’s friend first but he introduced him to Hiroto at school and the trio grew inseparable. Ryo was more friends with Jin than he was with Yamapi. But not even by that much. Hiroto was the jealous type and hated when Ryo talked to his friends - he called Ryo names and often made him look like an idiot to make Jin and Yamapi laugh, causing for Ryo to walk off, mad and/or embarrassed.
He and Hiroto got along well but not as well as Reio and Jin did, despite how the two were fighting right now.
Over the years, Ryo had come to realize that he had developed a crush on Yamapi. At first he didn’t know what it was but he noticed that every time he saw the older boy, his heart raced in his chest and his cheeks heated up. He barely knew the other but every time they spoke, Yamapi was kind to him and Ryo found himself unable to reply - Ryo had always had what his parents called a ‘poison tongue’ but Yamapi seemed to take that away from him - and Hiroto teased him whenever that happened, causing for Ryo to leave the room and hide in his room.
The first person Ryo had come out to was Reio. And it was Reio who found the pub they were currently at - the boy had noticed that his friend was hurting and he’d wanted to help the other feel better. So he found them a place where Ryo would feel comfortable - it had been a long-shot, seeing as they were minors and he didn’t really know if Ryo liked bars or not but Ryo had really liked the place. It was pretty pretty big for a pub but even so, it didn’t have that many tables. People always had their personal space even if all of the tables were taken.
The busiest nights were when they had a live band playing - on those days, some tables were moved to the back to make room for a standing crowd or for people who wanted to dance.
Now, it was two years later and it was still their ‘go-to’ place for when they just wanted to talk or have a drink. The owners knew them so they let them drink… even if they weren’t supposed to.
After that, Ryo came out to his family and a few close friends but that was it. As far as Ryo knew, neither Jin nor Yamapi knew that he was into guys. Ryo didn’t really mind if they knew, but he didn’t really want Yamapi to see him differently or think that he was weird or… disgusting..
Even if that was the case, Yamapi had been the one to make Ryo realize that he was gay and Ryo was never going to forget that, even if Yamapi hated him for it.
“Yo,” Yamapi said, smiling at Ryo. “Hiro told us you two would be here, thanks. We really need the support. It’s our first time playing in such a big place.”
When Yamapi blew his blonde bangs out of his eyes, Ryo felt like his heart skipped a beat.
It wasn’t as blonde as Jin’s hair though. Yamapi’s pulled more on a light orange but he had a few blonde streaks in the middle. Jin was just… full head, bleached and dyed with not a single fuck to give. It suited him, that much Ryo would admit, but even though Jin was handsome, to Ryo, he wasn’t as handsome as Yamapi. (Though maybe that was because he was Reio’s brother. But that was neither here nor there.
“Uh yeah,” Ryo hurried to answer, trying not to seem too flustered - the beer was probably helping at this point. “Reio wanted to come support Jin and well, I’m here for Hiro and we’re here for you too, obviously,” Ryo blurted out nervously. “A-And I’ve been listening to you guys play for years so I already know that you’re good...”
Stupid, Ryo. You sound like a stupid fanboy.
“I um,” he cleared his throat and took a sip of his beer, “I wasn’t expecting you guys to come play here, to be honest.”
That night the pub was holding a special event that invited artists from around the city to come play to show their support to the LGBTQ community - all of the proceeds were going to be donated to a foundation that helps kids in need. So sure, Hiroto knew that Ryo was gay but he’d never shown an interest in supporting the cause.
“That was Hiro’s idea, actually,” Yamapi said with a nod. “Said that they were doing an event for local groups that support the LGBTQ community and suggested that we participate. It’s good exposure and, well, we support it so yeah.”
“And… so like, this is just a gig?” Ryo said, frowning a bit as he tried to understand Yamapi’s words. He felt like he was missing something.
“Well yeah, obviously, we need as much visibility as possible but, I mean, I support the cause too. And in some way, so does Jin and Hiroto too, obviously, but not in the same way that I do.”
Ryo chuckled and finished off his beer, “You’re gonna have to make more sense than that.”
“I’m-” Just as Yamapi was about to speak, Jin and Hiroto grabbed his arms and dragged him off, yelling excitedly that it was their turn soon and that they had to go prepare. Ryo frowned a bit, seeing as he wanted to hear what Yamapi had to say but when the other waved at him, Ryo smiled back and waved as well.
Once Yamapi was out of sight, Ryo sighed and turned to Reio, “I was finally having a conversation with him and our stupid brothers dragged him off. That’s rude.”
“It is,” Reio said, taking the shot that Jin had left behind. “Very rude, even. Lord knows that you haven’t talked this much with him since you’ve known him and you’ve known him for over ten years.”
“That’s totally not true!” Ryo whined, slumping on his chair.
“Okay no,” Reio started, “Not true. When he used to babysit us with Jin and Hiro - he talked a lot to you but I don’t think that counts. You didn’t know you were gay for him at the time~”
Ryo wanted to retaliate, he really did. But to some extent, his friend was right.
He hated when Reio was right.
Well.
He hated when Akanishis were right. If anything, that always felt wrong.
So Ryo just muttered a few swears and took a sip of his beer, “Fuck off, Akanishi.”
Throughout the performance, Ryo only had eyes for Yamapi. Hiroto was at the drums, and both Jin and Yamapi had an acoustic guitar - something that Ryo had always wanted to learn how to play but Hiroto had mocked him, saying that he just wanted to play to copy them.
When he was at Reio’s, they sometimes used Jin’s guitar without telling him and, thanks to modern technology aka Youtube, they’d learned a few basic things. It didn’t compare at all to what their brothers could do but it was good, considering that neither of them had taken classes. Ryo had been taking (forced) piano classes since he was five, and Reio had been more the sports type and he’d been playing soccer - he wasn’t the musical type but he liked learning the guitar with Ryo.
Ryo did his best to look at the other guys, just to make it less obvious that he wa totally into Yamapi, even though he was pretty sure that at this point, the other boy knew. They’d exchanged a few glances and at some point, Yamapi had even winked at him, causing for Ryo’s cheeks to go red and for him to take a few shots.
The guys sang a few songs and once they were done, they took a small detour to the bar for a few drinks and to chat with a few people before they came back to the table Ryo and Reio were sat at. At this point during the night, Ryo was more than a little bit tipsy so he didn’t feel as shy anymore - he wanted to make the most of the time he had with Yamapi.
“You guys were amazing,” Ryo said with a chuckle, leaning onto Yamapi a bit when the other sat back down next to him. “Like, amazing,” he repeated.
“Thanks,” Yamapi said, grinning at Ryo.
Just as he was going to speak again, he was cut off by Hiroto who didn’t miss an opportunity to tease his little brother. “You’re drunk~” Hiroto teased, far from sober himself, considering all the shots he’d taken. “You’re totally fanboying on Pi~”
“Shut up!” Ryo snapped, glaring at his brother. “Am not!”
“Are too~ And you’re flirting~”
“G-Guys,” Yamapi said, chuckling a bit. He placed his hand on Hiroto’s shoulder and pointed at the bar, “Why don’t you go get yourself another drink, hm? And bring me and Jin something back too,” he added, slipping a few bills into the boy’s front pocket.
Once Hiroto was gone, Yamapi turned back to look at Ryo, “Ignore him, that’s what I do.”
Ryo chuckled nervously and bit at the insides of his cheeks, trying to figure out what he could say next. Yamapi had leaned in as well so they didn’t have to yell and Ryo could smell the other’s cologne like he was wearing. It was intoxicating - it was all he could think about.
“I-I… that’s what I’ve been doing since I’ve known him but yeah, he gets to me. Teases me about everything I do.”
“Yeah,” Yamapi chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “I noticed that. He can be a shit brother to you sometimes but I hope you know that he loves you.”
Ryo snorted and rolled his eyes, slumping on his seat a bit. Just as he’d opened his mouth to reply, he felt a hand on his knee and he followed it up to see that it was in fact Yamapi’s hand on his knee. He didn’t know why it was there but at this point, it was all Ryo could feel. It was like a concentration of heat on his right knee.
“It’s true, he does. He talks about you, you know?”
“Bet he bitches about me too.”
“Well,” Yamapi laughed and took a sip from his drink, his hand still on Ryo’s knee. “That too, but remember two years ago when you got bullied a lot?” When Ryo nodded he went on, “Never saw Hiroto that mad before. Seriously, he wanted to fight everyone that bitched about you, saying that he was the only one allowed to talk shit about you.”
Ryo shook his head and laughed, “That sounds like him, but at the same time he can be such a dick to me that I can barely believe it.” Yamapi squeezed his knee a bit and Ryo frowned, “...Yamashita?” He wasn’t sure why the other had just done that. It felt like Yamapi was trying to convey some emotion but Ryo couldn’t tell what it was.
“You still call me that?” Yamapi asked with a laugh, already forgetting what he was going to say. “We’ve known each other since you were like, five, and you still call me Yamashita?”
He saw Ryo blush and he chuckled, “You call Jin Jin, going on that logic, why haven’t I moved up from my last name too~?”
“W-Well, Hiro and Jin gave you the ‘Yamapi’ nickname after you showed up to school with weird-ass pink hair and you hated it so… I didn’t wanna call you by something you didn’t like.”
“Aw, that’s sweet,” Yamapi said, smiling softly at Ryo. “Still though, We’ve known each other for over ten years. Lose the Yamashita~” He said with a wink before he patted Ryo’s knee and got up. “I’m gonna get something to drink. You want something?”
“Uh, no. I’m,” Ryo glanced at his glass and he was surprised to see that it was empty. He’d expected it to be half full - he hadn’t realized that he’d drank that much. “I… yeah, sure. Let me get you some money,” he said as he reached for his wallet.
“Nah man, it’s on me,” the older boy said, winking once more at Ryo before he left.
Once Yamapi was gone, Ryo started to look around for Reio. He hadn’t noticed, but his best friend had started to talk to a girl a few moments earlier and he’d gone over to her table.
They were in a gay bar… so in the back of his mind, Ryo wondered if the girl thought that Reio was gay and just wanted to chat with him… or maybe she was the gay one. Either way, Ryo was curious to know if someone was gay or if the girl was straight and also interested in him.
Whatever the case was, Ryo wanted to talk to his friend about his current interactions with Yamapi but at the same time, he didn’t want to interrupt him - it would have to wait.
“What’s got you so preoccupied?” A voice asked behind him.
Ryo turned around and expected to see Yamapi. But when he saw that it was just some random bloke, his smile faded. Sure the guy was hot and probably his type but Ryo wasn’t looking to find someone - he just wanted to keep talking to Yamapi for as long as he could. “Um…”
“Everything alright?” The man asked, leaning closer to Ryo, his elbow on the table, basically occupying as much space as he could to make sure that Ryo noticed him. “You here alone? Came for the bands? I was on first~”
“Um…” Ryo tried to process all of the questions and he found that they’d all just become one big blur in his drunken mind. He’d been coming here for two years, and he’d never gotten hit on. Ever.
Granted when he came it was mostly during happy hours so people weren’t as drunk… and him being here tonight was an exception. Maybe he’d never gotten hit on because he was always with Reio… hell even the owners thought at the two were dating at some point... but still.
“What?” The man laughed, edging a bit closer. “D’you have a boyfriend?”
“He does, actually,” Yamapi replied as he wrapped an arm around Ryo’s shoulders. “Sorry man~”
“What?!” Ryo said, while the other man simply laughed, “No worries, I don’t go after taken dudes.” He winked at Ryo and left.
“What just happened?” Ryo asked, looking at Yamapi as the man walked around the table to go back to his seat.
Yamapi placed the drinks down and smirked at Ryo, “That dude was just hitting on you. And unless you actually wanted to date him, I saved you~”
Ryo rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink, “Yeah, I got that much. I just wasn’t expecting it. And no, thanks. I didn’t wanna date him.”
“Of course not,” Yamapi cooed, chuckling when he saw Ryo’s cheeks go red.
“Y-You know, you don’t have to spend your time with me. You can go talk to Hiro and Jin… Reio abandoned me, I’d just go home, it’s fine.”
“Jin’s talking to the keyboardist of one of the groups, Hiro’s… probably throwing up in the trash, let’s face it, and Reio’s talking to a lesbian.”
“What about you? Don’t you wanna go...I dunno, mingle with your fans, chat up some girl or something?”
“But I’m already mingling with a fan~” Yamapi said brattily. “Aren’t I~?”
“Shut up,” Ryo said as he looked away, blushing a bit. “But compared to them, I’m totally boring and well, you already know me.”
“I dunno if it’s the booze or cause it’s late, but I really don’t see your point.”
“It’s just…” Ryo sighed and got up, “Never mind. I don’t even know what my point is.” He swayed a bit when his foot hit the ground and he immediately grabbed on to the closest thing, which happened to be Yamapi’s arm. “T-Thanks,” he said, smiling a bit at the other. “I haven’t gotten up in a while, guess I’m more drunk than I thought.”
“You wanna get some air?”
“I… yeah, sure. Lemme just,” he turned to grab his drink off from the table and finished it. “There. Now we can go.”
Yamapi rolled his eyes and chuckled but ended up doing the same thing with his own drink before he got up and followed Ryo. Once they were outside, they were both hit with a gust of cold air and they recoiled on themselves a bit. “Didn’t expect this,” Yamapi laughed, wrapping his arms around himself.
“Well, we came with coats and the coats are at the cloakroom… so we kinda should’ve expected this,” Ryo said with a chuckle, moving over to the wall to shield himself from the wind. “There. Not that bad anymore.”
“Speak for yourself,” Yamapi said.
“Just come and stand here,” Ryo replied, moving a bit to the right. There wasn’t much space but he absolutely didn’t mind being close to Yamapi.
“D’you smoke?” Yamapi asked as he shuffled over to Ryo, close enough that their shoulders were brushing. He took his pack out and placed a cigarette between his lips, offering one to Ryo as he did.
“I... I’ve never tried, actually,” Ryo said, watching Yamapi light his cigarette. His eyes were solely focused on the other boy’s lips as Yamapi took a drag.
He’d never found smoking sexy or attractive and he’d always been against it but… seeing Yamapi smoke was clearly in his top 5 of sexiest moments. He just watched the other exhale his smoke and tried to figure out what he could say, even though nothing was coming to him.
Sure, maybe he was biased… well, he was biased because of his crush, but still, as he watched the smoke leave Yamapi’s ilps, and he’d never felt so turned on.
“You wanna?” Yamapi asked, offering Ryo his cigarette
“I…” Ryo considered it for a few seconds and took the offering. “Sure, I guess.”
As soon as he tried to take a drag, he started to cough and Yamapi hit his back gently “S-Sorry,” he said, blushing a bit. At least it was dark out and Yamapi couldn’t see it. “I’ve no idea what to do with this.”
Yamapi chuckled and waited for Ryo to try again before he took his cigarette back and took a long drag. “You get the hang of it at some point. You did better than Hiro, I can tell you that much.”
“Yeah, well,” Ryo chuckled, still watching Yamapi, “Hiro’s a fucking wuss so I’m not all that surprised and he probably only tried to look cool.”
“Basically, yeah,” Yamapi said, grinning before he took another drag. As he exhaled his smoke, he offered the joint to Ryo and watched him smoke. “So uh… you having fun tonight?”
Ryo nodded and focused on not choking as he exhaled the smoke, “Yeah, totally. The music’s great and so’s the venue.”
“It’s a pretty cool place, isn’t it?”
“Mm. Lots of space, big-ass bathroom with gigantic mirrors-”
“Hot bartenders,” Yamapi added.
Ryo had noticed that the women were good looking so Yamapi was right on that - but also the male bartenders were totally Ryo’s type as well - not that he was looking to date them, but still. He never said no to eye-candy. “Mm. Oh yeah. Super hot.”
Yamapi smirked and put out the cigarette on the nearest wall before he flicked it away, “Come on, let’s go back inside, it’s chilly here.”
When Ryo nodded, Yamapi took his wrist and led them back inside - and it wasn’t a minute later that a man came up to them and tried to get Yamapi’s attention.
“Yamapi!” He said, “Baby, I’ve been looking for you all night!”
“Shit,” Yamapi swore, cringing a bit. “My ex,” he said, recognizing the voice.
“Your ex?!” Ryo said, his eyes going wide.
Yamapi flashed him an apologetic smile and turned around, a very fake smile on his lips, “Heeeey, Toma. It’s been a while,” he said, chuckling nervously.
“I’ve missed you,” Toma said, pulling at the front of Yamapi’s shirt a bit. “I didn’t know you’d be here tonight~”
“Yeah, well,” Yamapi said, clearing his throat a bit while Ryo just watched. “H-Here I am.”
“Alone~?” Toma asked hopefully, his fingers curling on the material of the other’s shirt.
“I’m…” Yamapi looked at Ryo and something in his mind clicked. He distanced himself from Toma and wrapped and arm around Ryo’s shoulders… again, “With Ryo, actually.”
“I’m sorry you’re what now?!” Ryo asked, looking right back at Yamapi.
“With me. He’s with me,” Yamapi provided, smiling at Toma. “Biggest fan and boyfriend. Isn’t it cute~”
“I don’t buy it. The kid barely looks out of the closet, no offence,” Toma said, looking at Ryo. “You look out of place here, kid. You sure he isn’t just some fan you’re picking up for one night of fun~?”
“I-I’m-” Ryo wanted to say that he was very much out, thank you very much, and that he was a regular at this bar but Yamapi beat him to it.
“What he is or isn’t is none of your business, Toma. Accept that we’re over and that I’m with Ryo, end of story.”
“Please!” Toma laughed, rolling his eyes. “At least have the fucking decency to tell me the truth. His face is as red as your ass was after I’d slapped it a few times. Whether you know this kid or not, it doesn’t matter - all I know is that you’re not really dating. Really, Tomohisa, d’you wanna get rid of me that much?”
At this point, Ryo didn’t know what to think anymore. He was pretty sure that his drunk brain was pulling a fast one on him. And if the conversation wasn’t enough to make him think that, what happened next sure did the trick.
One moment he was starting at the pair, and the other, Yamapi had his hand on his jaw and he’d leaned in to kiss him.
Now. Ryo wasn’t mad about the kiss, not at all even. Kissing Yamapi had been the number one thing he’d wanted to do since he was fourteen - he just would’ve liked a warning first. Hell, he barely had time to pucker out his lips to reciprocate the kiss that Yamapi was already pulling away, leaving Ryo more shocked than ever.
As Ryo blushed to the deepest shade of red that was humanly possible, Toma just scoffed.
“Fine. If you’re going to go through all of that just to get rid of me. I’ll just go see if another band member somewhere wants to get laid.” He started to walk off and turned for half a second to say, “Great show, by the way.,” he chuckled and winked at Ryo before he walked off.
“I am so sorry about that,” Yamapi said, turning to Ryo as soon as Toma had left. “Are you pissed? You can totally be pissed at me, I’m so so sorry.”
“I-I… I’m not mad at you,” Ryo said, licking his lips a bit as he looked back at Yamapi. “I’m… shocked, more than anything… y-you’re gay?”
“I… thought you knew, yeah,” Yamapi said, scratching the back of his head a bit. “Hiro and Jin know and they’re both horrible secret keepers so I figured that they’d told you and Reio.”
Ryo shook his head, “He hasn’t said a thing. And… well, it’s super private and personal. Hiro’s a dick but he wouldn’t out someone just for shits and giggles.” He touched his lips again and he felt his heart racing in his chest. He was suddenly very aware of the fact that he’d kissed Yamapi and that if he played his cards right, he could maybe kiss him again one day.
He was so focused on that that he couldn’t even hear that Yamapi was talking to him. He was just thinking about how soft Yamapi’s lips had felt on his and how warm the man’s hand had been on his cheek.
“Yo, Ryo?” Yamapi said, passing his hand in front of Ryo’s face.
“Sorry, what?” Ryo said, his eyes going wide.
“You alright, man? Wow, I really spooked you, didn’t I? Toma was always a bit on the clingy side. Which is why we only dated for four months - broke up like two weeks ago… anyways, nevermind that, you don’t care about that. I’m sorry I used you as a decoy. I’ve already called you my boyfriend twice tonight - I swear I don’t do this with everyone. I mean, not that I do this on a daily basis or anything it’s just, wow, I’m gonna shut up, I’m sorry.”
“No, really, I don’t mind. I’m… flattered,” Ryo said, feeling himself blush all over again. “And… a bit embarrassed,” he added quietly.
“Embarrassed, what for?” Yamapi asked, leaning in a bit, a smile pulling at his lips.
“Th-That… was…” Ryo muttered, the rest of his sentence was drowned by the loud music and Yamapi just leaned in even more and asked, “Sorry, what?”
“Oh shit, it’s the kiss. Shit man, I’m sorry. Got kissed by a dude, and you don’t like that… shit man, sorry,” Yamapi said, cringing a bit.
“It’s not that,” Ryo hurried to say so Yamapi wouldn’t think that he was homophobic or something. He grabbed Yamapi’s wrist and pulled him aside so they wouldn’t get walked into more than necessary. “It’s just that… it was my first kiss.”
“With a dude,” Yamapi completed, nodding a bit.
“No like, ever.”
“You’ve never kissed a girl?”
“Ew, no,” Ryo said, the words escaping his lips faster than he could stop them. “I mean… I... “
“Let’s… get another drink, yeah?” Yamapi suggested. He could see that Ryo was uncomfortable and he didn’t want to force the other into saying anything he wasn’t ready to say.
When Yamapi took his wrist, Ryo’s hand moved on its own. He slid it down, just a bit, so that Yamapi was holding his hand instead. He studied the older boy’s face, watching to see if maybe Yamapi was repulsed by this or if Yamapi would jolt back but the other did none of that. He simply intertwined their fingers and pulled Ryo along towards the bar, causing for Ryo’s heart to nearly jump out of his chest. Hiroto was probably going to hear about this and Ryo would probably get teased but right now, he didn’t care at all. He just wanted to spend as much time as he could with Yamapi.
~
“So,” Reio said, throwing a baseball up towards his ceiling, catching it right after. “The show was two weeks ago and you’re choosing to tell me now that you kissed Yamapi?!”
“He kissed me,” Ryo stressed with a hiss, trying to keep his voice down, seeing as Jin, Hiroto, and Yamapi were practicing their songs right downstairs. “And it was just so he could make his ex leave, it totally didn’t mean anything. And when we left, he hugged me so like, no kissing or anything.”
“But, like…”
Reio sat up and frowned at Ryo, “You two spent the whole night together after that. Like, I almost had to pull you away. I could’ve sworn that something had happened. You did ask him out, right? Right?!”
“He… doesn’t know I’m into dudes,” Ryo confessed quietly. “I… it just seemed that it was too awkward to say.”
“So, lemme get this straight… Your long-term crush kisses you, buys you drinks, holds your hand, dances with you… in a gay bar no-less, and you think it’s too awkward to tell him that you’re also into him?!”
“What?! Whaddya mean also?! He’s not into me!”
“Oh, he totally is. Like, he used to look at you a lot but at the bar? That was some other level shit.”
“He used to look at me?!” Ryo said, grabbing the nearest pillow so he could throw it at his friend. “And you didn’t say anything?!”
“Assault!” Reio cried, throwing the pillow back at Ryo. “What was I meant to do?! I-” When he saw that his bedroom door was open and Jin was standing in the doorway, he chuckled nervously and relaxed. “Too much noise?”
Jin groaned, “It’s like you two have a five-girl slumber party up here. God, how are you this loud?!”
“Sorry,” Reio said glumly.
“Yeah. Just… shh.” Just as he was leaving, Jin took a step back and looked into the room again, “By the way, Ryo, Hiro wants to talk to you.”
“Ugh, what now,” Ryo said as he rolled his eyes and got up. He threw the pillow back at Reio and followed Jin downstairs.
He noticed that Yamapi was sat on the couch in the living room reading a magazine, but he decided to ignore it as much as he could. He was following Jin to get to Hiroto, that was it. If Yamapi was there when he came back, he’d talk to him then… if he could manage that that is.
They hadn’t spoken much over the last two weeks - and it wasn’t that Ryo was avoiding Yamapi, it’s just that their paths somehow didn’t cross as much.
“I,” Yamapi said, standing up when Ryo passed by.
“O-Oh, hi. Uh… sorry, it’s just that Hiro needs to talk to me, apparently.”
“He doesn’t, actually,” Yamapi said with a nervous chuckle while Jin left the room. “I asked Jin to get you for me.”
“Me? Why?” Ryo asked, cocking his head to the side a bit.
“I wanted to talk about what happened, at the bar, two weeks ago. I’ve been meaning to talk to you but… well, you’ve had school and we haven’t really had the chance to be alone.”
“N-No need, really. There’s nothing to talk about I-” What Yamapi didn’t know was that Ryo had be semi-avoiding the other these last few days. He knew that when he saw the other, his face went red and he only remembered how close they had been. With all of that in mind, he knew that he couldn’t go up to Yamapi. Well, he could, but he’d probably end up passing out if he did. Just the fact that Yamapi wanted to talk to him about what had happen was making his heart race - he was scared that Yamapi was going to apologize or say that it was a mistake and Ryo didn’t want that. If Yamapi apologized, if would just confirm that nothing could ever happen between them. Ever.
“I like you, Ryo. And I think you like me too,” Yamapi hurried to say before he could change his mind, visibly surprising Ryo with his words.
“Look, I know that we’d been drinking that night but I still think that there’s something between us - I’ve been feeling it for a while now and I wanna find out… If you want to too, I mean.”
“I… wow,” Ryo said, his cheeks heating up. Having Yamapi confess something like this really wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he’d agreed to sleeping over at Reio’s. Especially not considering what he’d just been thinking. Really, he’d only expected them to play video games until they passed out - now he just felt like he was going to pass out for a whole other reason. “I… how long?”
Yamapi chuckled, “Does it matter? I know kissing you that night was a dick move... and it really wasn’t how I pictured our first kiss, but please tell me that I’m not crazy. I know that I felt your lips move against mine at some point.”
“Y-You’re not crazy,” Ryo confessed quietly. He kept quiet for a few seconds, thinking about what the other had just said. He started to bite at his thumb like he always did when he was nervous and looked back up at Yamapi, “Does Hiro know about this?”
“Hiro? Oh God no. Jin knows but not Hiro. He ‘caught’ me once when I was looking at you. Once. And he nearly bit my head off, told me that I wasn’t allowed to date you. He never said if you were into guys or not but yeah, he basically made you forbidden fruit.”
Ryo snorted, “Yeah. That sounds like him… sorta. And… well, I guess you know now… I’m into dudes, yeah. Pretty much exclusively. I’m actually the one that talked to him about the event that the bar was gonna have. I go there a lot with Reio… Oh! Shit, Reio’s not gay though, I’m just saying that he’s the one that found the place for me when I first came out and felt out of place and yeah, never mind me, I’m a mess.”
“Dude, I’ve known you for ten years now, I know how to handle you.”
Ryo smirked at Yamapi and walked over to him, “You’re making it sound like I’ve already said yes to going out with you.”
“Well, you’re not denying it so… Can I take that as a yes?”
Ryo pretended to think it over, just to enjoy the look that was on the other’s face. “Yeah, I guess you can. Dinner? Friday night?”
“Sounds good,” Yamapi said, his face breaking into a bright smile. “I’ll pick you up at six?”
Ryo nodded and started to go backwards towards the stairs again. “Yeah, that’s perfect. So…”
“Yeah,” Yamapi chuckled, still smiling as he watched Ryo leave. “I’ll let you know what the place is.”
“Great.” Ryo started to go up the stairs and turned around to look at the other, only to see that Yamapi was looking right back at him, just like in the movies where one person watches the other leave until they’re out of sight.
He bit down on his lip and tried to go up the stairs at a normal pace. Sure, he wanted to run up to Reio and tell him everything but he didn’t want to look like a fifteen year old girl that just got asked to prom.
“That was quick,” Reio said, frowning a bit as Ryo came back into his room… frowning even more when Ryo closed the door, leaned back against it and slowly slid down until he was sat on the ground. “What’s with your face? It’s like a mix of happiness and… constipation. Ew.”
“Fuck off,” Ryo said, placing his hands on his cheeks to try and contain his excitement. “I didn’t talk to Hiro. I talked with Tomohisa. and I… have a date next Friday. He just asked me out!”
“What?! Shut up, no. Wait, Tomohisa? Never mind, spill!”
The night went on and Ryo told Reio everything, the whole time his smile didn’t leave his face. He really hoped that he wasn’t going to fuck this up. After all, he’d never had a boyfriend before and he had no idea how all of this worked - all he knew was that he wanted to fast forward to Friday so he could have his first official date with Yamapi.
Hopefully, the first of many.
~
Over the next couple of months, Ryo’s relationship with Yamapi just bloomed. They fit together perfectly and he was happier than ever. Their parents were all very supportive and the hardest person to convince that they weren’t fooling around was Hiroto. And to convince him, Ryo had played his ‘I’m a virgin, I don’t wanna “fool around” with someone, I want a relationship’ card, causing for his older brother to gag a bit and give them his blessing.
They saw each other as much as they could, despite Ryo still being in high school and Yamapi working as a waiter and doing a few occasional gigs here and there. Even if they saw each other just to sleep in the same bed, it was more than enough for Ryo.
Hell, he was surprised that his parents didn’t mind - but that was probably because they’d known Yamapi for as long as he had so they trusted him. It did piss of Hiroto, though. He’d bitched that he’d never been allowed to bring girls home when he’d started to date. Eventually, he accepted it and did agree to the fact that Ryo was more mature than he’d been at Ryo’s age.
“You know that kiss, at the bar?” Ryo said, looking at his boyfriend that was laying next to him.
They’d been on Ryo’s bed for at least an hour now, just listening to music with an earbud each. Hiroto was in his own room playing video games and he’d gotten mad at the pair because he felt like Ryo was stealing away his best friend but neither Ryo or Yamapi cared right now. Yamapi had spent two hours with Hiroto and now that it was bedtime, he slept with his boyfriend in a comfortable bed and not on a weird smelling futon on the floor of Hiroto’s room. Plus, Hiroto snored and talked in his sleep - Ryo on the other hand, didn’t take much room in the bed and liked cuddles. In Yamapi’s book, Ryo won.
“The impromptu kiss?” Yamapi said with a chuckle, “Yeah, I remember that one. Our first kiss~”
“Well… it was actually my first kiss ever.”
Yamapi’s eyes went wide and he nodded a bit, “Right… You were trying to tell me that… I think. I think I said something about you never having kissed a girl, too.”
“Which is still correct,” Ryo said, laughing as he did. “But yeah. First kiss ever. Man it was awkward.”
“Well,” Yamapi started, leaning into the other a bit to place a long kiss onto Ryo’s lips, “I can tell you for sure that you’ve gotten way better at it~”
“Have I?” Ryo asked playfully, turning to his back as Yamapi slowly got on top of him.
They’d made-out quite a lot and they’d grinded a few times but even so, after six months, Ryo still felt himself blush when his boyfriend got this close to him. “Maybe… Maybe I should keep practicing?” He suggested, looking up at the other.
“Maybe you should,” the other simply said, closing the distance again.
Ryo’s eyes fluttered shut and he let Yamapi lead the kiss. One of his hands went into Yamapi’s hair and the other slipped under Yamapi’s shirt so he could trail his fingers up and down the man’s back.
He could feel the other getting hard against him and it didn’t take much longer before Ryo rolled his hips up, surprising both himself and Yamapi. He’d never taken the initiative of doing that before and it had caused for Yamapi to pull away and looked down at Ryo, a small smirk on his lips.
“S-Sorry, it’s just, I-”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Yamapi cooed, leaning down to kiss down Ryo’s neck, making Ryo moan quietly, and again when their hips met. Yamapi had already mapped out all of the sensitive spots that were on Ryo’s neck and chest so he knew where to kiss to make Ryo feel good.
Over the last few months, Ryo had gained a lot of confidence. The first time that they’d done this, he’d barely moved, scared that he would do something wrong. He’d been scared that Yamapi was going to tell him off for it but, thankfully, his boyfriend was patient with him and he’d never rushed Ryo into doing something he wasn’t ready for.
But right now, Ryo wanted a bit more.
He rolled his hips up harder and wrapped a leg around Yamapi’s hips to lock them into place.
When he felt Yamapi’s hand going under his shirt and up his chest, he lifted his arms up and he let the other take his shirt off before he helped his boyfriend with his own. Ryo felt himself blush when he noticed that Yamapi was looking at him - he almost felt like prey with the way that Yamapi’s eyes were travelling over his stomach and chest. And sure, they’d seen each other shirtless before but Ryo still couldn’t believe that Yamapi found him that attractive. Sure, he knew that he wasn’t horrible to look at but the look in Yamapi’s eyes made it seem like he was the only thing he could see. “Babe,” Ryo chuckled, reaching up to pass his fingers through Yamapi’s hair, smiling softly as he did.
When Yamapi finally snapped back into reality, he smiled back at Ryo. He leaned down to kiss Ryo,s lips for a few seconds and went back to kissing Ryo’s neck, Ryo found himself scratching at Yamapi’s back. “M-More,” he said before he could stop himself. The grinding felt good but he wanted to feel something different, he wanted to feel Yamapi’s skin against his.
“As you wish,” Yamapi purred in the crook of Ryo’s neck. He kissed his way down Ryo’s chest and abdomen and toyed with the boy’s sweatpants before he pulled down down, leaving the other in his boxers. He kissed Ryo over the material and chuckled when Ryo rolled his hips up into his mouth. With Ryo’s hands in his hair, Yamapi knew what the next step was but as soon as he started to bring Ryo’s boxers down, Ryo’s hands left his hair and Yamapi looked up, only to see that Ryo had placed them on his face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, moving back up so he could look at Ryo properly.
“It’s nothing, it’s stupid,” Ryo muttered, his voice muffled by his hands.
“It’s not stupid,” Yamapi insisted, leading one of Ryo’s hands away from his face to see him. When he saw that Ryo’s eyes were watering, he immediately felt concerned for the other, scared that he’d done something wrong. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing!” Ryo reapeated, trying to blink the tears away. “It’s just… me. I’m… scared. Well, I think. I don’t know… the lights are on and you’ve never seen me naked and I’ve never seen you naked… that sorta stuff. My mind’s going in overdrive right now.”
Yamapi chuckled, relieved that Ryo was opening up. He leaned down to kiss Ryo’s forehead and got up from the bed so he could dim down the lights. “There, how’s that?” He asked as he settled onto the other again.
“B-Better,” Ryo said shyly.
“Hey, we can stop if you want us to, okay?” Yamapi said, passing a hand through Ryo’s hair.
Ryo closed his eyes and nodded, “Y-Yeah. I’ll tell you.”
“We’ll go slow,” Yamapi said, slipping a hand down Ryo’s body, kissing the boy’s neck as he did.
Once he felt Yamapi’s hand on him, Ryo shut his eyes tight and tried to focus on the touches and Yamapi’s scent that was surrounding him. There was nothing to be embarrassed about and he was safe with Yamapi.
He repeated those words a few times and after a little while, he rolled his hips up into Yamapi’s touch, moaning quietly as he did. It was already more that he was used to and he really hoped that he’d be able to make this last longer than just a few minutes.
“T-Tomohisa,” he whimpered, gasping against Yamapi’s lips when the other slipped his hand into Ryo’s boxers. He tried to control his voice so his brother and his parents wouldn’t hear him but it was almost too much for him to handle.
His hands found their way into Yamapi’s hair again and he breathed shakily as his boyfriend kissed down his chest and abdomen again. This time, he was determined to not look away. Yamapi clearly wasn’t going to laugh at him and that’s what mattered.
He bit down on his lip when Yamapi pulled down his boxers and when they made eye contact, Ryo blushed again. It was almost too much. Almost.
When Yamapi took him into his mouth, even if it was slowly at first, Ryo had to bring a fist to his mouth to try and quiet himself. He bucked his hips without him meaning too and Yamapi had to hold him down as he started to bob head faster and faster.
Ryo came faster than he’d admit to but he didn’t even care at that point. This was another relationship milestone for them and he was going to remember it forever. He was already so spent that he didn’t even realize that Yamapi had quickly left to go brush his teeth.
He only noticed when Yamapi had come back to snuggle him and Ryo smelled the mint in his breath.
He hummed happily, lifting his jaw a bit when his boyfriend started to place lazy kisses along it, “That was amazing~”
“I knew you’d like it,” Yamapi chuckled, trailing his fingers up and down Ryo’s back, sometimes going playfully low between Ryo’s cheeks. He grabbed Ryo’s bare ass for a second and trailed his fingers back upwards.
“What about you?” Ryo asked teasingly, still feeling that Yamapi was hard against him.
“I don’t wanna rush you into anything,” Yamapi murmured back.
“What if… what if I want to?” Ryo asked, looking up at the other, sneaking a hand between their bodies so he could rub the man over his sweats. “What if I wanna do this?”
“If that’s the case,” Yamapi said, licking his lips a bit, small pants escaping his lips as he tried to control his breathing. “I’m not gonna say no.”
“How’s this?” Ryo asked, putting a bit more pressure on Yamapi’s bulge. The other had done that for him earlier so he figured that the man would like it too. When he saw the sweat forming on Yamapi’s neck, Ryo smiled to himself a bit and pulled Yamapi’s sweats down. He guided the other to his back and slowly slipped his hand into Yamapi’s boxers to pump him.
“Fuck, Ryo,” Yamapi moaned, bucking his hips into the touch. His hand went back down to Ryo’s ass and he grabbed it again, rougher this time, causing for the younger boy to cry out a bit.
Ryo bit on his lower lip and moved his hand faster on the other. With all of the erotic sounds that Yamapi was making, he could feel himself getting hard again and the next thing he could think of doing was straddling Yamapi and rolling his hips down onto the other’s.
He felt Yamapi grabbing his ass with both hands and he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend to try and keep himself quiet as they moved, faster and faster, the bed nearly squeaking beneath them.
He had to pull away from the kiss to catch his breath and he felt like his face was on fire. He’d never felt this good before and he didn’t want it to end. Yamapi’s nails were digging into his skin, sure, but all he could think of was how amazing Yamapi’s dick felt against his.
“Babe,” Yamapi moaned, switching their positions so he could grind down onto Ryo, faster and harder. “I’m gonna come,” he murmured in the crook of Ryo’s neck. When he felt like he wouldn’t be able to last longer, he started to kiss Ryo again to muffle his moans.
After Yamapi had come, he’d started to pump Ryo and Ryo didn’t know what to do anymore. Yamapi was still kissing him and he was still on him so all Ryo could do was buck his hips up into Yamapi’s touch. His mind went blank a few moments later and he came over Yamapi’s hand and onto his stomach.
When he realized what had just happened, he was a bit embarrassed, especially considering the look of his chest and stomach, but it’s not like he could’ve done otherwise.
He looked up at Yamapi and when the man brought his thumb to his mouth to suck it clean of Ryo’s come, Ryo nearly choked on his tongue. “Fuck that’s hot,” he said, still trying to catch his breath.
Yamapi chuckled and sat up on Ryo as he kept sucking at his fingers, “If anything’s hot,” he started, looking down at Ryo, “It’s you~” He reached over to Ryo’s bedside table and grabbed a few tissues so he could wipe his fingers dry before he started to clean Ryo’s stomach.
“Tomohisa?” Ryo said, looking up at his boyfriend, his face still red from what they’d been doing.
“Mm? What is it?” Yamapi said, cleaning himself up before he threw the tissue away. He settled down next to Ryo on the bed and brought a blanket over them. He smiled at Ryo and brushed a strand out of the boy’s hair.
“I…” Ryo licked his lips a bit and murmured quietly, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Yamapi replied, leaning in to kiss Ryo’s forehead. “More than anything.”
Ryo chuckled and sniffled a bit. He’d never said ‘I love you’ to anyone other than his parents and closests friends before - and hearing it back seemed kind of surreal right now. He’d known long ago that he was in love over his head with Yamapi but he’d never found the right time to say it.
He wrapped his arms around Yamapi’s chest and held him close. “Me too,” he said, smiling when he felt Yamapi’s arms hold him as well.
Six months ago, he never would’ve believed that he’d be here, in Yamapi’s arms. If his future self had travelled back in time to tell him that, he would’ve laughed at himself. Everything was perfect and he didn’t want anything to change. The more the thought that, the more he felt like it was all too good to be true.
PART 2