JE-united surprise fic for te_chan01
Gift fic for te_chan01
Title: I can’t be alone with you
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: (soft-)R
Warnings:
Summary: …I don’t know your friends; Don’t know where you’ve been; Why are you the one I want…
Notes: Inspired by the song by Jack Owen with the same title, and the summary is a part of the lyrics. Really hope you like it!! ^^
“Tonight?”
The message was short. Impersonal.
Ohno sighed.
Flashes from a particular night came back to him.
It was hazy, warm, fast, so fast, Nino’s lips on him… On his mouth, his temple, in his neck…
Ohno blinked quickly and tried to calm his suddenly speeding breath.
He was at work and quickly looked around to check no one had seen his sudden change of countenance. As he saw nobody looking, he checked his phone again.
The lonely word seemed to mock him.
He tried to consider his options. He could reply ‘no’. For once. But really he knew he was pretending to have a choice. He had known his answer the moment he’d seen the message.
Since meeting Nino, he had never answered negatively. He was too scared to lose the opportunity to spend time with the young man.
Worrying his lip, he typed out his usual “yes”, sent it, and thought back to how they had met.
It was two months ago.
It had been his friend Jun’s idea…
“You’ve been single too long! See how far technology has come to make it easier to meet someone?! How are you not taking advantage of this?”
Ohno had been reluctant to create an account online. It just all felt so… cold… and impersonal. Maybe he was old-fashioned in this sense, but he was not very fond of all this technology Jun raved about.
Unfortunately, he could not deny he had felt lonely recently. It had been a while since he had dated anyone and, though he was the independent type of person, he did feel like something was missing in his life.
So he had accepted.
The first few people to talk to him online were either much too talkative, or made rude jokes, or lost interest in him fairly quickly. He did end up going for dinner with one girl who spent the whole evening blushing and looking down at her knees whenever he asked a question. Then there was a coffee with the most muscular guy Ohno had ever seen, but he seemed more interested in taking selfies of himself than talking. There was also the guy who left after 5 minutes into the date, apologizing profusely and saying that he was in fact not gay.
Jun, who had found each new story more amusing than the previous one, would not let Ohno give up.
“One more! It’s got to be a good one now! You can’t have bad luck for this long!”
So Ohno had agreed for one more date. One more person met online.
That person was Nino.
They had met up in a bar, and from then, the night had moved so fast…
Nino was not like anyone Ohno had met before. He was not quiet, but not really talkative either. He had a quick tongue, but each of his comment worked well. He was relaxed from the moment they started talking, making Ohno wonder how often he went on this kind of date. In any case, Nino made him comfortable. It was a mix of irresistible dry humour and the way he managed to get closer to Ohno without him even realizing it. A hand on his shoulder, on his forearm, a feline smile playing on his lips the whole time.
By the time they had moved to the dance floor, they were glued together, not an inch between them, and Ohno was not complaining.
For one he loved to dance, and for two, this guy could move well.
The rest of the evening was a blur. They’d kissed. A lot. On the dance floor, in the street, in the taxi, in the corridor outside Ohno’s front door, in Ohno’s flat…
He had not expected it to go this fast, but there was no stopping it, not that he was going to try anyway.
He woke the next morning with a slight headache, in an empty bed.
From that point, he was hooked. It was like Nino was a drug he could not resist.
They met each week, and the evening was always spent the same way. A drink, a dance and a passionate night together. But each following morning, Nino was gone before Ohno awoke.
After the fourth meeting, he had plucked the courage to ask Nino why he acted this way.
“Well, I’m not really looking for a relationship. And since we met online I figured you felt the same way. I don’t know about you, but I see other people as well… But if it bugs you, we can stop.”
The worse part was that Ohno could tell he meant it.
Nino was not a cruel player, trying to break hearts around him. During their talks at the beginning of the evening¬-before the night heated up-Nino was always kind and caring with him.
When they spent the evening and night together, Ohno could feel that Nino’s entire attention was on him from the moment met… until he disappeared the next morning.
He did not act macho or overconfident. He never treated Ohno with disrespect. Though he didn’t reveal much about his personal life, he really was a great guy. And Ohno had realized a few weeks in that he had fallen for him. The thought that Nino still slept with other people was close to unbearable, and each morning after they met, when he woke in his empty bed, was a little more painful…
“Ohno? Can I have a word?”
It was Jun.
“Yeah, sure…” Ohno replied shrugging.
He followed his friend to the roof, knowing what was coming.
“So he’s messaged you again,” the younger man started as soon as they were out in the open.
It was chilly. A cool autumn breeze made Ohno shiver. He wished he’d remembered to take his jacket.
“Yeah. He messaged me.”
“I knew it. You always have that lost look about you.”
Ohno did not comment, and simply ignored his friend’s glare. Instead he gazed into the distance, his eyes unfocused.
“You need to tell him. Tell him or move on. There are plenty of other cute guys out there.”
He let out a sarcastic chuckle. “You think it’s just because I find him cute?”
“Listen, I know I’m the one who pushed you to use that website… And now I feel responsible when I see you pining… for a guy you barely know!”
“I know him well enough.”
Jun rolled his eyes. “You don’t even know his full name, what job he does, how old he is, the type of music he likes, if he plays any instrument, anything about his family… I seriously don’t get what you still talk about when you meet in that bar.”
“Yeah, well he doesn’t want to tell me anything personal. We talk about everything but ourselves. About the world, the city, life…” he smiled slightly as he recalled their last conversation on the type of technology that would be invented in in 100 years.
“I have a brilliant idea! Why don’t you call him during the day! That will take him by surprise and maybe he would be more open to meet up for lunch or something.”
Ohno sighed. “I tried that… He didn’t answer and never called back. And then I felt like I had stepped over the line and didn’t mention it to him when I saw him.”
“Well that’s the problem with you. You always feel like you are overstepping. Don’t overthink it! Just go for what you feel!”
“Look, there’s nothing I can do. He doesn’t like me back and I want to keep seeing him. So I just have to pretend I am happy with this no-strings-attached thing and that’s it. If I say anything, I’ll lose him,” Ohno said, quietly, his voice dying out on the last word.
*
That evening passed as it usually did. They talked and drank, and through all of it Ohno tried to focus on every second. He tried to engrave each one of Nino’s smiles and words in his memory. Because even after all this time he was still scared that Nino would decide not to see him again; that he would lose interest in him.
Once the alcohol was well in their system, they moved to the dance floor, and as usual, Nino took his breath away. Moving against him like they were meant to fit like this; so close, that Ohno could count each eyelash on his partner’s closed eyes. He gazed at the face of the man he had fallen for, at the cute feline smile of this man who would not love him but who, by some strange miracle, stood this near to him.
His loving feeling mixed with desire as Nino moved his hands down his back to his waist, pressing them even closer together. His breath caught, and again, he felt this incredible sensation of being on the edge… the edge between ecstasy and desperation… this feeling only Nino could give him.
Out of nowhere, Jun’s words came back to him ‘just go for what you feel’. And he was surprised to feel a wave of courage going through him.
He usually waited for Nino to initiate the first kiss of the night, but this time he somehow felt brave enough to make a change.
Slowly but surely, he pulled Nino’s chin towards him, saw Nino’s eyes open in surprise, but there was no going back, with his other hand on the back of Nino’s head he pushed their faces together and kissed him softly. His heart leaped as Nino kissed him back, more passionately. People kept moving around them, the music played on, but as far as Ohno was concerned, nothing else existed but them.
*
There was a commotion and Ohno slowly woke, frowning in confusion as his alarm clock showed 6am. He glanced towards his bedroom door and abruptly sat up, feeling suddenly very awake.
Nino was there.
He stood besides the door, apparently blushing from being caught trying to leave.
“Nino… is everything okay?” Ohno asked hesitantly.
The young man glanced at him and, looking reluctant murmured: “’morning.”
He bit his lip and added quickly: “I… I have to go. But your door won’t budge. I think… the handle’s fallen on the other side.”
Ohno frowned. He got up and went to try to open the door but was left to the same conclusion.
“Oh… Yeah… the screws on the handle were a bit loose. I meant to fix that…” he mumbled sheepishly.
“It’s alright, I will call a friend who’s got my key,” he added, moving back to the bed to fetch his phone. With horror he saw that it was nearly out of battery. A phone call would definitely empty it immediately. Instead he wrote a quick message to Jun, praying that he would see it, and sent it just before his phone’s screen turned black.
He turned to Nino. “My phone’s out of battery, I just managed to send a message but I can’t tell how long it will take… Do you have your phone?”
The young man shook his head. “Left it in your living room…”
“Oh…”
There was an awkward pause.
Ohno could hardly believe what was happening. By some strange coincidence, they ended up stuck together for an undetermined period of time. He refrained from smiling. However awkward it was, at least it was extra time he could spend with Nino.
He sat on his bed and glanced to the young man.
Nino was leaning against the door, looking around and biting his lip. He was evidently much less happy with how the situation had turned out.
“Are you okay? Is there somewhere you need to be?” Ohno asked.
Nino frowned. “I… no. I just… I’m fine,” he mumbled and sat on the floor against the door.
Ohno chuckled. “That doesn’t seem very comfortable. You know you could sit on the bed…”
“It’s fine.”
A few minutes passed in silence like this: Ohno observing Nino, Nino staring resolutely at his feet.
“Who closes their bedroom door anyway?! You live alone!” Nino suddenly exclaimed.
“Well… from what I remember we kind of… both closed it. When we were erm…” but he didn’t finish his sentence. They had made out against that door rather enthusiastically the night before, slamming it shut as they did.
Nino had apparently remembered it too, for he blushed a little and Ohno held back a grin. That man was too adorable. It was all he could do not to go over there and give him a hug. He seemed so lost in thoughts.
He glanced at his phone pointlessly. Jun would say this was a great opportunity…
“Hey, Nino, could I ask you something?”
The other man did not reply, but Ohno saw his shoulders had tensed.
Finally, after hesitating for a moment, he seemed to decide what to say and took a big breath before letting out: “Let me say something first, I think we should stop seeing see each other. I’m just… not feeling up for it anymore.”
It felt like a ton of bricks had fallen into Ohno’s stomach.
“Oh… I… I see,” he let out, feeling his throat dry out.
This was not happening. He had just tried a little, and he was rejected this fast?!
“You understand right? It’s just… I think it’s best for both of us.”
Ohno nodded, feeling Nino’s eyes on him, trying to keep his calm. “Yep, definitely understand.” He said in what he hoped was a casual voice.
“Ohno, are you crying?” Nino suddenly asked, disbelief in his voice.
Ohno shook his head quickly and got up to stand by the window, his back to Nino. But as he brought a hand to his face, he realized tears were starting to roll down his cheeks.
And then he could not hold it in anymore.
He would no longer see Nino.
He gave a small gasp and began crying in earnest. And he didn’t care anymore. Didn’t care that Nino was just a few meters away from him.
What was the point pretending he was fine if they were never meeting again anyway?!
He’d pretended for too long.
As tears came pouring down his face, he leaned against the window, his shoulders shaking with all the sadness he’d kept locked in during the past weeks.
But then something was different.
There were arms, wrapped tightly around him.
Slowly, the rush of tears slowed to a stop, and he stopped trembling, but Nino held on through.
“Nino?” he asked, feeling confused.
“Please don’t cry. If you cry, I can’t do this,” the young man let out, his voice shaking slightly.
Ohno didn’t understand what was happening.
“What do you mean?”
“I… I’ve been trying my best not to fall for you. But, I don’t think I can do it anymore…” Nino hugged him tighter, and Ohno felt like he couldn’t think straight.
“You… like me?” he asked, holding his breath.
“I… I didn’t say that…”
“But… I didn’t think you were interested…” Ohno let out, feeling confusion travel through him... Confusion and something else… could it be hope?
There was a long pause and finally Nino released him and took a step away.
Ohno turned around, disbelieving, but the young man stared at his feet.
“Why… why did you say you weren’t looking for a relationship? If you’re falling for me?”
“Because I’m not looking for one. I don’t want a relationship.” he mumbled.
Ohno frowned slightly. He didn’t understand what the young man meant… what he was thinking…
Nino seemed to hesitate, biting his lip, but after a moment he took a deep breath and began speaking.
“Alright so… when I was young my parents had a really nasty divorce. And since then, I promised myself never to date someone seriously. So that’s how I decided to just have casual hook-ups through that website. And it was working fine… until you came along. I could tell that you wanted something more, but I didn’t want to give you false hopes so I told you I just wanted to hook-up, I never said anything personal about me, and I never stayed longer in the mornings. But somehow you…” he hesitated blushing slightly. “you got under my skin. I was starting to lose interest in spending the night with any one else, I couldn’t get you off my mind, and I wanted to spend more time with you. But… I still don’t think I am ready for a proper relationship. And I’m not sure what the point of telling you all this is since I’m not even sure how you actually feel about me…”
During this whole speech, he had kept his head down, staring resolutely at his feet.
Ohno thought about this for a moment, before smiling slightly.
“You’re a weirdo, you know that?”
Nino was apparently expecting anything but that. He looked up abruptly, eyes widening.
“Look,” Ohno continued, “you say you’ve lost interest in other people, you think about me, you want to spend more time with me… That’s kind of a relationship… You know, a relationship doesn’t have to be a complicated thing. It can just be two people spending lots of time together and not sleeping with other people.”
Nino seemed to consider that for a moment, and Ohno could sense him relaxing a bit.
“And for the part about my feelings, if they’re weren’t clear enough before when I was crying my eyes out …” he said, taking a step towards Nino and pulling him close, “here.”
And he kissed him, like they have never kissed before. It was gentle and warm and caring, and Ohno tried to transmit through it that Nino could trust him, that he would never let him get hurt.
After a moment’s hesitation, Nino replied to the kiss, but his uncertainty was clear.
When they broke apart, Ohno looked straight at him.
“Listen. We can take it slow. I’m going to be honest with you right now: I love you. Even though I don’t know your full name or anything else about you, I know I’ve fallen for you. I don’t want to lose you and I will do all I can to make this work. Can you give this a chance?” he asked, feeling full of hope as he stared into Nino’s dark brown eyes.
The next seconds seemed to last forever.
Nino gazed at him, and Ohno could tell a thousand thoughts were racing through his mind.
Finally he let out a small breath and nodded.
Ohno could feel himself grinning widely and Nino answered with a shy smile.
“Ninomiya Kazunari,” he said quietly. “That’s my name. And I love music, I’m a pianist.”
“Nice to meet you Ninomiya-kun. I’m Jun and I save people who get locked in their bedrooms.”
Both young men spun round to see Jun, observing them with a smirk, leaning against the open door’s frame.
“You jerk! How long were you there?” Ohno exclaimed.
“Is that how you treat your saviour? Hey Ninomiya, are you sure he is boyfriend material?”
The young pianist grinned sheepishly.
“Yeah… Yeah, I think he is.”
This comment made Ohno so blissful that he pulled Nino back to him for another kiss.
“Seriously?! So ungrateful!” Jun exclaimed. But as he made his way out of Ohno’s flat, he was grinning.
He patted his jean pocket, in which a screwdriver was hiding, and he chuckled.
“What a matchmaker I am…”
Title: I can’t be alone with you
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: (soft-)R
Warnings:
Summary: …I don’t know your friends; Don’t know where you’ve been; Why are you the one I want…
Notes: Inspired by the song by Jack Owen with the same title, and the summary is a part of the lyrics. Really hope you like it!! ^^
“Tonight?”
The message was short. Impersonal.
Ohno sighed.
Flashes from a particular night came back to him.
It was hazy, warm, fast, so fast, Nino’s lips on him… On his mouth, his temple, in his neck…
Ohno blinked quickly and tried to calm his suddenly speeding breath.
He was at work and quickly looked around to check no one had seen his sudden change of countenance. As he saw nobody looking, he checked his phone again.
The lonely word seemed to mock him.
He tried to consider his options. He could reply ‘no’. For once. But really he knew he was pretending to have a choice. He had known his answer the moment he’d seen the message.
Since meeting Nino, he had never answered negatively. He was too scared to lose the opportunity to spend time with the young man.
Worrying his lip, he typed out his usual “yes”, sent it, and thought back to how they had met.
It was two months ago.
It had been his friend Jun’s idea…
“You’ve been single too long! See how far technology has come to make it easier to meet someone?! How are you not taking advantage of this?”
Ohno had been reluctant to create an account online. It just all felt so… cold… and impersonal. Maybe he was old-fashioned in this sense, but he was not very fond of all this technology Jun raved about.
Unfortunately, he could not deny he had felt lonely recently. It had been a while since he had dated anyone and, though he was the independent type of person, he did feel like something was missing in his life.
So he had accepted.
The first few people to talk to him online were either much too talkative, or made rude jokes, or lost interest in him fairly quickly. He did end up going for dinner with one girl who spent the whole evening blushing and looking down at her knees whenever he asked a question. Then there was a coffee with the most muscular guy Ohno had ever seen, but he seemed more interested in taking selfies of himself than talking. There was also the guy who left after 5 minutes into the date, apologizing profusely and saying that he was in fact not gay.
Jun, who had found each new story more amusing than the previous one, would not let Ohno give up.
“One more! It’s got to be a good one now! You can’t have bad luck for this long!”
So Ohno had agreed for one more date. One more person met online.
That person was Nino.
They had met up in a bar, and from then, the night had moved so fast…
Nino was not like anyone Ohno had met before. He was not quiet, but not really talkative either. He had a quick tongue, but each of his comment worked well. He was relaxed from the moment they started talking, making Ohno wonder how often he went on this kind of date. In any case, Nino made him comfortable. It was a mix of irresistible dry humour and the way he managed to get closer to Ohno without him even realizing it. A hand on his shoulder, on his forearm, a feline smile playing on his lips the whole time.
By the time they had moved to the dance floor, they were glued together, not an inch between them, and Ohno was not complaining.
For one he loved to dance, and for two, this guy could move well.
The rest of the evening was a blur. They’d kissed. A lot. On the dance floor, in the street, in the taxi, in the corridor outside Ohno’s front door, in Ohno’s flat…
He had not expected it to go this fast, but there was no stopping it, not that he was going to try anyway.
He woke the next morning with a slight headache, in an empty bed.
From that point, he was hooked. It was like Nino was a drug he could not resist.
They met each week, and the evening was always spent the same way. A drink, a dance and a passionate night together. But each following morning, Nino was gone before Ohno awoke.
After the fourth meeting, he had plucked the courage to ask Nino why he acted this way.
“Well, I’m not really looking for a relationship. And since we met online I figured you felt the same way. I don’t know about you, but I see other people as well… But if it bugs you, we can stop.”
The worse part was that Ohno could tell he meant it.
Nino was not a cruel player, trying to break hearts around him. During their talks at the beginning of the evening¬-before the night heated up-Nino was always kind and caring with him.
When they spent the evening and night together, Ohno could feel that Nino’s entire attention was on him from the moment met… until he disappeared the next morning.
He did not act macho or overconfident. He never treated Ohno with disrespect. Though he didn’t reveal much about his personal life, he really was a great guy. And Ohno had realized a few weeks in that he had fallen for him. The thought that Nino still slept with other people was close to unbearable, and each morning after they met, when he woke in his empty bed, was a little more painful…
“Ohno? Can I have a word?”
It was Jun.
“Yeah, sure…” Ohno replied shrugging.
He followed his friend to the roof, knowing what was coming.
“So he’s messaged you again,” the younger man started as soon as they were out in the open.
It was chilly. A cool autumn breeze made Ohno shiver. He wished he’d remembered to take his jacket.
“Yeah. He messaged me.”
“I knew it. You always have that lost look about you.”
Ohno did not comment, and simply ignored his friend’s glare. Instead he gazed into the distance, his eyes unfocused.
“You need to tell him. Tell him or move on. There are plenty of other cute guys out there.”
He let out a sarcastic chuckle. “You think it’s just because I find him cute?”
“Listen, I know I’m the one who pushed you to use that website… And now I feel responsible when I see you pining… for a guy you barely know!”
“I know him well enough.”
Jun rolled his eyes. “You don’t even know his full name, what job he does, how old he is, the type of music he likes, if he plays any instrument, anything about his family… I seriously don’t get what you still talk about when you meet in that bar.”
“Yeah, well he doesn’t want to tell me anything personal. We talk about everything but ourselves. About the world, the city, life…” he smiled slightly as he recalled their last conversation on the type of technology that would be invented in in 100 years.
“I have a brilliant idea! Why don’t you call him during the day! That will take him by surprise and maybe he would be more open to meet up for lunch or something.”
Ohno sighed. “I tried that… He didn’t answer and never called back. And then I felt like I had stepped over the line and didn’t mention it to him when I saw him.”
“Well that’s the problem with you. You always feel like you are overstepping. Don’t overthink it! Just go for what you feel!”
“Look, there’s nothing I can do. He doesn’t like me back and I want to keep seeing him. So I just have to pretend I am happy with this no-strings-attached thing and that’s it. If I say anything, I’ll lose him,” Ohno said, quietly, his voice dying out on the last word.
*
That evening passed as it usually did. They talked and drank, and through all of it Ohno tried to focus on every second. He tried to engrave each one of Nino’s smiles and words in his memory. Because even after all this time he was still scared that Nino would decide not to see him again; that he would lose interest in him.
Once the alcohol was well in their system, they moved to the dance floor, and as usual, Nino took his breath away. Moving against him like they were meant to fit like this; so close, that Ohno could count each eyelash on his partner’s closed eyes. He gazed at the face of the man he had fallen for, at the cute feline smile of this man who would not love him but who, by some strange miracle, stood this near to him.
His loving feeling mixed with desire as Nino moved his hands down his back to his waist, pressing them even closer together. His breath caught, and again, he felt this incredible sensation of being on the edge… the edge between ecstasy and desperation… this feeling only Nino could give him.
Out of nowhere, Jun’s words came back to him ‘just go for what you feel’. And he was surprised to feel a wave of courage going through him.
He usually waited for Nino to initiate the first kiss of the night, but this time he somehow felt brave enough to make a change.
Slowly but surely, he pulled Nino’s chin towards him, saw Nino’s eyes open in surprise, but there was no going back, with his other hand on the back of Nino’s head he pushed their faces together and kissed him softly. His heart leaped as Nino kissed him back, more passionately. People kept moving around them, the music played on, but as far as Ohno was concerned, nothing else existed but them.
*
There was a commotion and Ohno slowly woke, frowning in confusion as his alarm clock showed 6am. He glanced towards his bedroom door and abruptly sat up, feeling suddenly very awake.
Nino was there.
He stood besides the door, apparently blushing from being caught trying to leave.
“Nino… is everything okay?” Ohno asked hesitantly.
The young man glanced at him and, looking reluctant murmured: “’morning.”
He bit his lip and added quickly: “I… I have to go. But your door won’t budge. I think… the handle’s fallen on the other side.”
Ohno frowned. He got up and went to try to open the door but was left to the same conclusion.
“Oh… Yeah… the screws on the handle were a bit loose. I meant to fix that…” he mumbled sheepishly.
“It’s alright, I will call a friend who’s got my key,” he added, moving back to the bed to fetch his phone. With horror he saw that it was nearly out of battery. A phone call would definitely empty it immediately. Instead he wrote a quick message to Jun, praying that he would see it, and sent it just before his phone’s screen turned black.
He turned to Nino. “My phone’s out of battery, I just managed to send a message but I can’t tell how long it will take… Do you have your phone?”
The young man shook his head. “Left it in your living room…”
“Oh…”
There was an awkward pause.
Ohno could hardly believe what was happening. By some strange coincidence, they ended up stuck together for an undetermined period of time. He refrained from smiling. However awkward it was, at least it was extra time he could spend with Nino.
He sat on his bed and glanced to the young man.
Nino was leaning against the door, looking around and biting his lip. He was evidently much less happy with how the situation had turned out.
“Are you okay? Is there somewhere you need to be?” Ohno asked.
Nino frowned. “I… no. I just… I’m fine,” he mumbled and sat on the floor against the door.
Ohno chuckled. “That doesn’t seem very comfortable. You know you could sit on the bed…”
“It’s fine.”
A few minutes passed in silence like this: Ohno observing Nino, Nino staring resolutely at his feet.
“Who closes their bedroom door anyway?! You live alone!” Nino suddenly exclaimed.
“Well… from what I remember we kind of… both closed it. When we were erm…” but he didn’t finish his sentence. They had made out against that door rather enthusiastically the night before, slamming it shut as they did.
Nino had apparently remembered it too, for he blushed a little and Ohno held back a grin. That man was too adorable. It was all he could do not to go over there and give him a hug. He seemed so lost in thoughts.
He glanced at his phone pointlessly. Jun would say this was a great opportunity…
“Hey, Nino, could I ask you something?”
The other man did not reply, but Ohno saw his shoulders had tensed.
Finally, after hesitating for a moment, he seemed to decide what to say and took a big breath before letting out: “Let me say something first, I think we should stop seeing see each other. I’m just… not feeling up for it anymore.”
It felt like a ton of bricks had fallen into Ohno’s stomach.
“Oh… I… I see,” he let out, feeling his throat dry out.
This was not happening. He had just tried a little, and he was rejected this fast?!
“You understand right? It’s just… I think it’s best for both of us.”
Ohno nodded, feeling Nino’s eyes on him, trying to keep his calm. “Yep, definitely understand.” He said in what he hoped was a casual voice.
“Ohno, are you crying?” Nino suddenly asked, disbelief in his voice.
Ohno shook his head quickly and got up to stand by the window, his back to Nino. But as he brought a hand to his face, he realized tears were starting to roll down his cheeks.
And then he could not hold it in anymore.
He would no longer see Nino.
He gave a small gasp and began crying in earnest. And he didn’t care anymore. Didn’t care that Nino was just a few meters away from him.
What was the point pretending he was fine if they were never meeting again anyway?!
He’d pretended for too long.
As tears came pouring down his face, he leaned against the window, his shoulders shaking with all the sadness he’d kept locked in during the past weeks.
But then something was different.
There were arms, wrapped tightly around him.
Slowly, the rush of tears slowed to a stop, and he stopped trembling, but Nino held on through.
“Nino?” he asked, feeling confused.
“Please don’t cry. If you cry, I can’t do this,” the young man let out, his voice shaking slightly.
Ohno didn’t understand what was happening.
“What do you mean?”
“I… I’ve been trying my best not to fall for you. But, I don’t think I can do it anymore…” Nino hugged him tighter, and Ohno felt like he couldn’t think straight.
“You… like me?” he asked, holding his breath.
“I… I didn’t say that…”
“But… I didn’t think you were interested…” Ohno let out, feeling confusion travel through him... Confusion and something else… could it be hope?
There was a long pause and finally Nino released him and took a step away.
Ohno turned around, disbelieving, but the young man stared at his feet.
“Why… why did you say you weren’t looking for a relationship? If you’re falling for me?”
“Because I’m not looking for one. I don’t want a relationship.” he mumbled.
Ohno frowned slightly. He didn’t understand what the young man meant… what he was thinking…
Nino seemed to hesitate, biting his lip, but after a moment he took a deep breath and began speaking.
“Alright so… when I was young my parents had a really nasty divorce. And since then, I promised myself never to date someone seriously. So that’s how I decided to just have casual hook-ups through that website. And it was working fine… until you came along. I could tell that you wanted something more, but I didn’t want to give you false hopes so I told you I just wanted to hook-up, I never said anything personal about me, and I never stayed longer in the mornings. But somehow you…” he hesitated blushing slightly. “you got under my skin. I was starting to lose interest in spending the night with any one else, I couldn’t get you off my mind, and I wanted to spend more time with you. But… I still don’t think I am ready for a proper relationship. And I’m not sure what the point of telling you all this is since I’m not even sure how you actually feel about me…”
During this whole speech, he had kept his head down, staring resolutely at his feet.
Ohno thought about this for a moment, before smiling slightly.
“You’re a weirdo, you know that?”
Nino was apparently expecting anything but that. He looked up abruptly, eyes widening.
“Look,” Ohno continued, “you say you’ve lost interest in other people, you think about me, you want to spend more time with me… That’s kind of a relationship… You know, a relationship doesn’t have to be a complicated thing. It can just be two people spending lots of time together and not sleeping with other people.”
Nino seemed to consider that for a moment, and Ohno could sense him relaxing a bit.
“And for the part about my feelings, if they’re weren’t clear enough before when I was crying my eyes out …” he said, taking a step towards Nino and pulling him close, “here.”
And he kissed him, like they have never kissed before. It was gentle and warm and caring, and Ohno tried to transmit through it that Nino could trust him, that he would never let him get hurt.
After a moment’s hesitation, Nino replied to the kiss, but his uncertainty was clear.
When they broke apart, Ohno looked straight at him.
“Listen. We can take it slow. I’m going to be honest with you right now: I love you. Even though I don’t know your full name or anything else about you, I know I’ve fallen for you. I don’t want to lose you and I will do all I can to make this work. Can you give this a chance?” he asked, feeling full of hope as he stared into Nino’s dark brown eyes.
The next seconds seemed to last forever.
Nino gazed at him, and Ohno could tell a thousand thoughts were racing through his mind.
Finally he let out a small breath and nodded.
Ohno could feel himself grinning widely and Nino answered with a shy smile.
“Ninomiya Kazunari,” he said quietly. “That’s my name. And I love music, I’m a pianist.”
“Nice to meet you Ninomiya-kun. I’m Jun and I save people who get locked in their bedrooms.”
Both young men spun round to see Jun, observing them with a smirk, leaning against the open door’s frame.
“You jerk! How long were you there?” Ohno exclaimed.
“Is that how you treat your saviour? Hey Ninomiya, are you sure he is boyfriend material?”
The young pianist grinned sheepishly.
“Yeah… Yeah, I think he is.”
This comment made Ohno so blissful that he pulled Nino back to him for another kiss.
“Seriously?! So ungrateful!” Jun exclaimed. But as he made his way out of Ohno’s flat, he was grinning.
He patted his jean pocket, in which a screwdriver was hiding, and he chuckled.
“What a matchmaker I am…”