when it rains... it pours
life has had it's ups and downs lately.
I'm working 7 days a week at two jobs, so I am keeping my mind off of Gabe for most of the time, which is good. makes the time go by a little faster. we are past the halfway mark, hopefully. I'm making money, which os very good.
but then yesterday I find out that my granfather's chemo is not working any longer. he has had cancer on and off for quite a few years now and this past time they decided it was time for chemo. and now it isn't working anymore and it is in his skeletal system. it sucks, a lot. I mean they are going to try to find something else, but who knows. my grandparents are such young people though and I don't think it is his time to go yet. plus, I am not ready to lose someone I am close to yet. I haven't yet and I know I'm not ready. I have like an unhealthy fear of death.
and all I want is Gabe to be here. I'm not afraid to cry infront of him about this. but, I don't want to cry infront of my family, I am the type of person who will hold back tears until I am alone so I can be strong for everyone else.
and on top of all that, one of Gabe's best Marine friends (the main guy who he hangs out with over there, and a good friend of mine now) is leaving Iraq because of medical problems. and probably leaving the Marines. he's going to be fine, but I feel so bad for him and for Gabe. now the rest of being over there is going to suck more for him.
...
I'm working 7 days a week at two jobs, so I am keeping my mind off of Gabe for most of the time, which is good. makes the time go by a little faster. we are past the halfway mark, hopefully. I'm making money, which os very good.
but then yesterday I find out that my granfather's chemo is not working any longer. he has had cancer on and off for quite a few years now and this past time they decided it was time for chemo. and now it isn't working anymore and it is in his skeletal system. it sucks, a lot. I mean they are going to try to find something else, but who knows. my grandparents are such young people though and I don't think it is his time to go yet. plus, I am not ready to lose someone I am close to yet. I haven't yet and I know I'm not ready. I have like an unhealthy fear of death.
and all I want is Gabe to be here. I'm not afraid to cry infront of him about this. but, I don't want to cry infront of my family, I am the type of person who will hold back tears until I am alone so I can be strong for everyone else.
and on top of all that, one of Gabe's best Marine friends (the main guy who he hangs out with over there, and a good friend of mine now) is leaving Iraq because of medical problems. and probably leaving the Marines. he's going to be fine, but I feel so bad for him and for Gabe. now the rest of being over there is going to suck more for him.
...