A treat for yoshi09
A treat for: yoshi09
Cooked up by: A friendly chef
Title: Twitterpated, or 'Arashi in 140 characters or fewer'
Characters/Groups: Arashi
Genre: Perhaps 'Humor'? Slice of life
Rating: PG
Warnings: Unusual formatting, time skips (but always ahead, in a linear fashion) mostly tweets, some twits.
Summary: Arashi members are asked to use Twitter. Some of them take to it better than others.
Author's Notes: This story is told entirely in two memos and many internet-based correspondences, most of which are between 0 and 140 characters in length. Please read it as you would one consolidated timeline of Arashi's internet communication. All of this is, of course, 100% fictional. Also, this fic assumes some things about filming schedules for Arashi's various TV projects that are probably false. Please just go with it. I hope it isn't too confusing to follow. orz Many thanks to Milk & Cookies for the opportunity to do this, since it was new and different for me, also thanks, betas. Most of the photos used were found via Google searches, they are not mine.
To yoshi09, I hope this is sort of what you were hoping for?
MEMO
From: Management, J-Storm Group
To: Sakurai Sho
Cc: Aiba Masaki, Matsumoto Jun, Ninomiya Kazunari, Ohno Satoshi
To Sakurai-san,
As part of the next phase for the Arashi presents: Android for AU campaign, KDDI Corp. has asked that we engage you, the talent, in product test trials in order to garner authentic positive feedback for the product.
Toward that end, you are being asked to sign up for one of the social networking applications available through the product's interface and use that application for a trial period of two weeks. This is not intended to replace your other personal choices for social media outlets or to eclipse your current company obligations.
It is our opinion that the best media outlet for this will be Twitter. You are urged to sign up for an account at your earliest possible convenience. As this is to be done for product testing purposes only, we will not be publicizing your live-blogging activities. However, you are encouraged to be mindful of the fact that fans are quite intrepid and the possibility exists that they will become aware the account belongs to you. Please use the application as you normally would without specifically publicizing your usage of it. Please also make sure to follow each other to test ease of messaging among friends. Your honest feedback will be greatly appreciated.
This activity is not optional.
Regards,
Your Management Team
Mail from: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: junfamilia@docomo.ne.jp
Just got a memo in my afternoon meeting about starting a Twitter account. It was worded kind of weirdly, though, right? What do you think?
-Sho
Mail from: junfamilia@docomo.ne.jp
Mail to: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Yeah. I got one of those at my meeting this morning. My manager says they drafted it at their weekly mgmt. team meeting. I agree about the wording. It seems like no one wants to take responsibility for this in case we are mad. I don't really think I have the time for another thing to have to check. I already have the two phone-mails.
-J
Mail from: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: junfamilia@docomo.ne.jp
Jun, I swear, You are the only person I know who is so obsessive about keeping his business and personal addresses separate. Well I say let's embrace this, since it's for work anyway and we don't have much of a choice. Who knows, maybe it will be fun. Maybe it'll loosen you up, internet-wise. Also maybe it will get you to use your AU phone for something other than mailing your manager. And besides, maybe it is easy for you, but it's confusing for us.
-Sho
Mail from: junfamilia@docomo.ne.jp
Mail to: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
I am plenty loose, thank you. I keep them separate because I AM internet-wise. (LOL) Separate address books means I can't accidentally message a business contact with something embarrassing.
I like this phone, though. I am used to it and all of my friends' addresses are in this one.
-J
Mail from: itsmemasaki@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp, junfamilia@docomo.ne.jp, matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp , kazuslaysall@ezweb.ne.jp, ohno_s_1980@ezweb.ne.jp
Did you guys get the memo about Twitter? This is awesome! I am all set up so please follow me I am AIloveANIMALS because my manager said not to use my real name except make sure you use the little Asquiggle thing which I can't figure out how to make on my phone yet. See you all at filming later!!! From-Masaki
PS. Jun, which of these emails am I supposed to be using? We work together but we are friends too, what category am I?
Mail from: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
"PS. Jun, which of these emails am I supposed to be using? We work together but we are friends too, what category am I?"
See what I mean?
You'll get used to it if you use it more.
-Sho
Mail from: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: sso125@ezweb.ne.jp
Point taken. orz.
-J
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Hello Twitter!!!! Exciting~~! This is my forst twit!
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
OOPS! I meant first tweet. LOL.
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
Today is my first day on Twitter! Let's have fun! I am on my way into work for now.
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
I have just set mine up as well. And J emailed me his name. It's @BatsugunOshare RT @AIloveANIMALS This is my forst twit!
in reply to AIloveANIMALS
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
@TheSakuraiShow Cool! Thanks
DM from AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Sho, do you think it's a good idea to use your real name? My manager said it wasn't a good idea.
DM from TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
I'm not worried about it. The chances of anyone finding out or believing it's the real me are low, right?
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
@BatsugunOshare Please follow me back, J-kun!
BatsugunOshare MJ
Hello, Twitter. I am MJ. Yoroshiku.
BatsugunOshare MJ
@AIloveANIMALS I already am following you. You only have two followers, how did you miss me?
in reply to AIloveANIMALS
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
@BatsugunOshare AHH! This is cool! Tweet something. Say what you are doing right now!
in reply to BatsugunOshare
Mail from: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: itsmemasaki@ezweb.ne.jp
Aiba-chan, nobody cares that I am having a third bottle of coffee. I am not tweeting every moment of my life. Who wants to read that anyway? "Going to work"? "Time for a cigarette"? "Having a coffee break"? I don't feel the need to burden the internet public with every mundane detail of my life, thanks.
Mail from: itsmemasaki@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
Not phonemail! Tweets! You should tweet this stuff! People like you. They will care!
Mail from: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: itsmemasaki@ezweb.ne.jp
It's just a trial! No one's supposed to know! Plus I don't want people to care if I'm in a transport van or what brand of coffee I buy.
DM from AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Please? Be a sport.
BatsugunOshare MJ
via Twitpic
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
Just wrapped this week's Zero, Many thanks to the graphics dept. staff for their excellent work tonight and also congratulations are in order for the lighting staff who had to overcome some trying technical difficulties. Thank you to everyone who watched. See you again next week, Zero viewers!
via TwitLonger
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Heading into work! This should be a good evening!
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
I'm just walking into VS now. We have great guests as usual, so I'm ready to have some fun.
12345678NEEN Kazu
@BatsugunOshare @TheSakuraiShow @AIloveANIMALS Hey losers.
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
@12345678NEEN Why are you tweeting us from across the room?
in reply to 12345678NEEN
12345678NEEN Kazu
@TheSakuraiShow If you and A-san are going to hound me to set this thing up, you don't get to complain about me using it.
in reply to TheSakuraiShow
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
YAY! Nino is on too!
herefishy Satoshi
I am too.
in reply to AIloveANIMALS
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Yay! Captain! Now we can all talk!!!
in reply to herefishy
herefishy Satoshi
I had one since this morning.
in reply to AIloveANIMALS
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
omg! Why didn't you tell anyone?
in reply to herefishy
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
@herefishy why are you shrugging? This is is important! It's for work!
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
@AIloveANIMALS You know we can all talk anyway. We are just across the room.
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
It's more fun this way.
in reply to TheSakuraiShow
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
Currently filming for show V! My coworkers are being very funny and strange today.
12345678NEEN Kazu
@herefishy
herefishy Satoshi
Whose ear is that?
in reply to 12345678NEEN
12345678NEEN Kazu
Yours! Hahaha
in reply to herefishy
herefishy Satoshi
hahahahah
in reply to 12345678NEEN
herefishy Satoshi
@12345678NEEN
herefishy Satoshi
@12345678NEEN
herefishy Satoshi
@12345678NEEN
12345678NEEN Kazu
AAHAHAHAHAHA stop stop, I am going to hurt myself laughing
in reply to herefishy
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
@herefishy @12345678NEEN What are you guys doing over there? Just looking at your phones and laughing? What's so funny?
12345678NEEN Kazu
@AIloveANIMALS Nothing
herefishy Satoshi
@AIloveANIMALS Nothing
DM from 12345678NEEN Kazu
Right now you are sucking at Kicking Sniper. You're not on my team for the zombie apocalypse.
DM from BatsugunOshare MJ
How exactly do you expect kickball to be relevant to the zombie apocalypse?
Mail from: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: sso125@ezweb.ne.jp
After we're done here, want to get some food?
Mail from: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
Sure but Aiba is going to ask in about one minute. Also, you should probably at least try to tweet something else today, since they asked us nicely to give the product a serious try.
DM from BatsugunOshare MJ
Fine.
DM from TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
(¬_¬)
Mail from: itsmemasaki@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp, ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Is it just me or is it taking longer than usual to set up Bank Bowling?
Ohno and Nino already told me they are busy, but do you guys want to get something to eat after filming is done? We haven't been in ages and there is a family-style place I want to try and I can't go by myself. All of this messaging at work is getting tiring, so just let me know, okay?
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
Had a great day of filming. Many thanks to all of the staff who made it possible and special thanks to the wonderful audience who kept the energy going even during the long wait periods during set-up for each segment. You were all great! Thank you!
via TwitLonger
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
Going out to eat with coworkers! It has been a while, I am looking forward to it.
BatsugunOshare MJ
RT @TheSakuraiShow Going out to eat with coworkers! It has been a while, I am looking forward to it.
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Work was long today, ne~~ I am glad to get dinner and drinks!
DM from AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Jun-kun! Your are barely tweeting at all! RTs and DMs don't count! How will you know if you like the applecation if you dont use it?
DM from BatsugunOshare MJ
The same way you know you like spell-check even though you don't use it, I'd venture, Aiba-chan. (LOL)
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
I am tweeting from the back of a taxi! Maa~ Social media is amazing.
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Waiting is boring! It's a good thing S-chan called ahead for a table!!
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
Time with friends is precious. You should cherish them.
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
Wow! I have a few more followers. Hello to all 14 of you!
DM from 12345678NEEN Kazu
Late script reading is late. Blaaarg. Maruyama says hello.
DM from herefishy Satoshi
Tell him I said this.
DM from 12345678NEEN Kazu
He says.
DM from herefishy Satoshi
hahhahah
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
I am having so much delicious meats! Itadakimasu!
via Twitpic
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Twitter is fun. Now to get my friends to tweet more!
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
This platter of roasted vegetables is huge. Definitely glad I came with friends.
via Twitpic
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Time to order drinks! Expert-level drink order GET!
DM fromBatsugunOshare MJ
How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to tweet a picture of my food? Asking more times is not going to help.
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
@BatsugunOshare You tricked me! I thought you were really tweeting something!
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
Don't worry, Aiba. I am really tweeting something. This drink you picked is delicious. I can barely taste the alcohol!
in reply to AIloveANIMALS
12345678NEEN Kazu
@TheSakuraiShow don't have too good a time. Not like last time.
in reply to TheSakuraiShow
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
@12345678NEEN Last time was great! You should come and meet us after you're done.
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
@12345678NEEN Nino Nino Nino You should because the drinks are on me and Shochan is drinking like a fish hahaha
in reply to 12345678NEEN
12345678NEEN Kazu
@TheSakuraiShow @AIloveANIMALS I'll pass on having another one of those escapades, thanks.
in reply to AIloveANIMALS
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
How much shochu does it take to get Sho's * chu *
Mail from: kazuslaysall@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
If you're with Sho, word to the wise: He's more likely to blame you for this in the morning than Aiba.
Mail from: matsumotojunbiz@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: kazuslaysall@ezweb.ne.jp
Don't worry. I just poured him and Aiba into a cab home.
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Doilies come here to die.
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
Second taxi today! This taxxi is like a tiny doily cemteery. Riding in a cemetery to a new place of drniking!
DM from BatsugunOshare MJ
You said you were going to take Sho home! He's too tipsy to be out in public. So are you.
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
weer fine. We stoppd to get oden form a streetand he lesft his shoesin\ the cab for dibs aqnd now theres hot sake and somethings on a stick
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
The first rule of cab dibs si you dont talk about cab dibs.
in reply to AIloveANIMALS
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
My friend fell off his chair and laid on the sidewalk and said imeant to do that.
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
I need a theme song for myteam. Satoshiiiiiiii Im looking for you. Where my friends?
DM from herefishy Satoshi
Super Soul!
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
I think otters are forever
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
My followers say otters are forver! Thnaks followers!
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
154!!! I love you 154.
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
You guys. How come trees are so big but brocccolii is soooo little. It is not a good bar snack.
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
I am haviong a outside shower!!!!
AIloveANIMALS Chiba's National Treasure
It's raining!
TheSakuraiShow Sho S.
brb remember to life
Mail from: junfamilia@docomo.ne.jp
Mail to: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
What the hell is wrong with you? Go home right now! Where are you? Where is Aiba? I will come get you.
Mail from: kazuslaysall@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Sho-chan. I think you need to turn your phone off. Do you need me to send a taxi?
Mail from: ohno_s_1980@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Sho I am worried about you.
Mail from: itsmemasaki@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Good morning Sho. What happened to you last night? I lost you. I hope you got home okay. From- Masaki
Mail from: mm35620@docomo.ne.jp
Mail to: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Sakurai-san
Please check your mail on the office server as soon as possible. Your morning schedule has been cleared for an emergency meeting regarding recent events. Please view both memo .pdf (attached). A car will arrive for you at 9:30am.
Thanks
MEMO
From: Management, J-Storm Group
To: Sakurai Sho
Cc: Aiba Masaki, Matsumoto Jun, Ninomiya Kazunari, Ohno Satoshi
To Sakurai-san,
On behalf of KDDI Corp. we would like to thank you for your adherence to the recent request to use Twitter as a normal user would. However, we, your management, feel that the previously decided upon two week schedule may have been excessive.
It is clear that we should not continue.
We have decided to cease the project immediately as it is also clear that anonymity in this technical age can be difficult to achieve.
Please cease your use of the application immediately and purge your account. Under no circumstances should you continue use.
Regards,
Your Management Team
MEMO
From: Management, J-Storm Group
To: Sakurai Sho
To Sakurai-san,
In light of the events of last night, your presence is required at a management meeting today.
Regards,
Your Management Team
Mail from: ss0125@ezweb.ne.jp
Mail to: junfamilia@docomo.ne.jp
So. . . I went to bed with 154 followers and woke up with over 9000. I don't even remember tweeting those last few tweets.
Anyway, I just got out of the meeting. I'm not in trouble, really. They just wanted to talk to me about responsible alcohol consumption and being aware of my usage of social media.
It was so embarrassing.
I blame you for this.