A treat for encoded_panties
A treat for: encoded_panties
Cooked up by: A friendly chef
Title: Sleeping Beauty
Characters/Groups: Kanjani8 with some random cameos.
Genre: Gen?
Rating: PG for some minor swearing and proposals that make Ryo stutter
Warnings: This may seem a little cracky to the untrained eye, but really it’s just Eito’s crazy.
Summary: Eito have concerts coming up. Yoko has a plan.
Author's Notes: encoded_panties …♥
It’s a morning like all other Tuesday mornings when Ryo walks into the room following Hina and Yoko (the latter of which is already giggling about something).
“What was that for?!” Yoko asks half shocked and half still laughing when Hina smacks him on the head with his umbrella.
“Whatever stupid thing is going on inside your head probably warrants it,” Hina bites back as they both sit down at the meeting table, which is almost completely covered in charts and lists for their new concert tour.
Yoko grins. Never a good sign.
Ryo sits down next to Ohkura who is sound asleep in his seat, snoring softly. Across from the table Yasu is caught up in an epic battle with the zipper of his coat, which apparently got stuck. Subaru, who looks like he hasn’t slept, is looking at his phone and smiling blissfully. Probably stayed up late texting with his new girlfriend again.
When Maru half trips through the doorway, wrestling out of his pyjama jacket (a flower pattern), everyone looks up long enough to notice Yoko pull out one sparkle covered flow chart after another from his bag. Well everyone except Ohkura notices. Hina throws something at him to wake him up but unfortunately to no avail.
Yoko claps his hands together loudly and grins even wider. “Okay guys, I have the best idea ever for our concert skit!”
Ohkura snores loudly then. Hina looks like he wants to hit Yoko, hand already half-raised. Subaru stares at them with a dopey far-off look on his face. The rest of them eye Yoko warily. They’ve been here before.
Ryo remembers when Yoko wanted all of them to dress up like members from other groups and pretend to be them for the skit. Practice had been a disaster. They had decided Hina should be Kame, Ryo should be Tegoshi and Subaru should be Matsujun. They all wore concert outfits and countless feather boas were lost that day. Needless to say the idea was abandoned almost immediately.
If you ask Ryo, Yoko’s face looks exactly like that time and there should be like, professionals watching Yoko or something. People that crazy shouldn’t be left alone, obviously. Ryo is so not dressing up in pink feathers again.
“I already talked to Subaru and he thinks it’s a great idea. So you guys can stop looking at me like that now,” Yoko tells them smugly.
“Why am I not convinced?” Maru asks him, a grim smile on his face.
“Okay so I’ll just explain then,” Yoko says, not discouraged one bit by the lack of enthusiasm in the room.
Yoko takes a deep breath and then starts talking at warp speed. “I have thought of an original way to do our skit. I know the Eito Rangers were a big success but we did the gangster thing and we did the sushi thing so people are expecting new things now. What I want to do is a fairy tale theme. We’ll have the Tokyo Dome decorated as one big castle for the big opening and for the other venues we can just use some smaller props like a few towers and walls on stage. Anyway, I want to do Sleeping Beauty because that’s a pretty famous story and people will definitely know it so that should make it more fun. There can be six princes and one princess. Subaru has already agreed to be the princess so I don’t see any problems with this plan. Questions?”
Hina hits the back of Yoko’s head hard. “Yeah, don't you breathe? Second, you seriously got Subaru to agree? You’re lying right?”
Yoko smiles smugly. “He’s right here. Ask him yourself.”
Hina looks at Subaru, still a little astonished at the waterfall of words he just got drowned in. Ryo can tell he’s clearly not convinced or impressed by Yoko’s plans.
“You really want to be the princess?” Yasu asks Subaru carefully.
“Huh, what,” Subaru looks up from his phone, “oh yeah that’s fine,” he says before going back to his texts and giggling.
Ryo is suitably disturbed.
And hears Ohkura mumbling something.
“What did he say?” Maru asks, laughing a little. Ohkura talking in his sleep usually make for good drinking anecdotes.
“I said,” Ohkura slurs, lifting his head from the table a little, “who’s going to kiss him?”
Yasu and Maru look torn between laughing and being confused.
At the lack of response, Ohkura sits up straight, rubs his eyes and stretches his arms above his head.
“You guys do know the story of Sleeping Beauty, right?” he asks them, looking at all of them one by one, eyes still half closed. He enunciates his words carefully, as if explaining things to a bunch of little kids. Ryo scoffs. “The princess falls asleep because of this curse and then a prince, so one of us, has to kiss her, so Subaru, awake.”
There’s a short moment of silence before they all jump out of their seats and start yelling at each other that no way do they want to kiss Subaru. Ryo thinks it’s because Subaru’s girlfriend is this seriously scary Yankee chick and she’ll beat up whoever it is. That’s his story anyway, and he’s sticking to it. Acting even gayer than usual has absolutely nothing to do with it at all.
Yoko's not so subtle coughing gets their attention after about five minutes.
"Of course it goes without saying that I have thought out this part of the plan, too."
Hina smacks him on the head with an especially glittery flow-chart. "Say something sooner!"
Yoko smiles an eerily calm smile. "We draw straws."
~ ~ ~
At the opening night, Ryo still doesn't get how Hina got him to trade straws. Physical threatening may or may not have had something to do with it. Maybe when the professionally trained people are keeping an eye on Yoko they can also put a stop to Hina's abuse. Ryo thinks he might suggest to Johnny that at the auditions for juniors they should also perform a screening of the mental health of those kids. Then again Johnny's might be the reason they turned out like this in the first place. After all, even though he's violently opposed to the idea of crossing ~the kissing boundary~ somehow he found himself agreeing that it would make the most sense if he was the one to"get the girl". Maybe Ryo should talk to someone too. Just in case.
Somehow he's now the one with the extra gold glitter and feathers on his costume outfit, dressed even more ridiculous than the rest of them. The stylist assures him that he looks absolutely royal, but when he sends a picture of himself to Jin and Yamapi to inform them that he is soon to be king and he expects his loyal subjects to bow to his will, they call him together on speaker to laugh at him loudly and then they hang up. Ryo's life is so not fair. He feels like stomping his feet but as a prince he is of course way above cheap taunts such as these.
Hina also has some additions to his costume. To placate Ryo he proposed that he would play the unworthy prince, who would be thoroughly beat up by Ryo before he could move on to any and all prince(ss) kissing action. Hina’s costume is more black than purple and to avoid confusion with Yoko, whose costume is of course completely black, most of Hina's black is covered in purple sparkles and he's also wearing a purple feather boa. As his own costume is getting fitted and sparkles are added one last time (this time really is the last time!) Ryo tells himself that this is a special form of art and in a couple of hundred years people will study them and be amazed. Or whatever it is artsy people do.
A loud and deep voice starts narrating the beginning of Sleeping Beauty. “Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom…”
“Alright people, it’s time to take your places!” their manager tells them. Ryo climbs onto his ‘unicorn’ (Tegoshi’s suggestion), the music starts and then they’re off.
~ ~ ~
The stage is everything Yoko had first envisioned it to be. He may be crazy, but at least he’s crazy genius, which is more than Ryo can say for some people in the entertainment industry.
Anyway. Building the stage to Yoko’s detailed instructions had taken the staff a week but if you asked Ryo it was a week well spent. The Tokyo Dome probably never even dreamed of looking this enchanting. There’s fake poison ivy everywhere. The stage background is of course this large majestic castle, but even the stage itself has been transformed into an actual courtyard with fountains and everything. The arena has also been subjected to a thorough makeover. The paths in between the audience, which are normally pretty standard and boring, are now part of the castle gardens. Yeah, there’s no denying it…Yoko has seriously outdone himself this time.
They can even overlook the fact that Yoko is very much aware of this and keeps acting really smug about it. Well everyone except Hina at least, who seems to have reached new heights of frustration with Yoko.
Ryo’s not in a mood to be admiring Yoko right now though. No, not in an admiring mood at all. He’s standing across from Hina who seems to be having a little too much fun waving his wooden sword around and more importantly: at Ryo. Dramatic music plays while similarly dressed armies of juniors play, well, armies. Both Hina and Ryo have their own army of juniors fighting alongside their lords (ie. Hina and Ryo). Ryo feels a little awkward fighting alongside kids who are towering over him, but whatever, they’re winning and that’s what’s important here. Clearly Ryo is awesome. Clearly it having been in the script has nothing to do with his victory. Nothing but pure strategic superiority.
Hina falls to the ground, another feeble attempt at attacking Ryo. Who walks right past him while his juniors, err, army, takes care of this unworthy prince. Apparently he had also come here after hearing of a beautiful princess in need of rescuing. Ha! The thought alone of that lowly creature saving a beautiful princess.
Ryo doesn’t really notice it, but he always gets very into his roles. When he played that guy in Last Friends, Eito wanted to have him committed for real.
However, he snaps right back into Ryo the minute he sees the ridiculously large Barbie pink four-poster bed. He starts walking towards it very slowly. Subaru’s lying on the bed, wearing an equally Barbie-like dress. The camera is zooming in on Subaru and Ryo’s faces. Ryo can tell by the cheering that gets exponentially louder as he walks towards the bed.
Ryo really doesn’t want to do this. Really really doesn’t want to do this. Right before the show he saw Subaru’s girlfriend and he thinks she can probably take him. Not good, not good at all.
He’s reached the bed. He looks at Subaru. The freak still has that blissful expression glued to his face. And also lots and lots of make-up. Ryo is even more freaked out about this. If it was an actual girl he had to kiss it wouldn’t be a problem. If he had to kiss guy-Subaru, not that much of a problem either. But this transvestite-Subaru is seriously freaking him out. It’s just so creepy and weird and just…
“Nishikido-san, what are you doing?!” his manager asks him through his earpiece. Ryo can hear a slight panic in her voice.
“Please follow the script, just do it okay, you can do it!”
Ryo feels kind of guilty for letting them down by hesitating. He knows he has to do it but still…
“Dokkun!” Yoko’s voice suddenly sounds from his earpiece. “I swear I’m going to kill you if you screw this up!” Followed by a giggle.
Ryo tries hard controlling his facial expression but judging by the laughs from the audience he’s not doing too well. He kneels beside the bed and puts his hands on the bed. He can totally do this. He’s an actor, he just needs to imagine Subaru’s actually a girl and then he’ll be fine.
“Nishikido-san!” His manager hisses at him again.
Okay he just has to do this. Has to do it quickly and then they can move on with the concert and then…oh god he has to do this again tomorrow. He’s so not doing this tomorrow. Hina can kiss his ass for all Ryo cares. He’s so not doing this again. And then he kisses Subaru.
It’s a really quick peck and Ryo scrambles back a couple of feet right away. He’s in shock. This is what it must feel like to be in shock. The screaming of the audience seems to go on forever. And is it getting louder? Why is it getting louder? Ryo looks around slowly, cautiously. What's happening? And then he looks at Subaru, who is still sleeping, did he fall asleep for real? Oh no. Nonononono. Ryo is not kissing him again.
"Nishikido-san," his manager says through his earpiece, "you know what you have to do."
After a few more seconds, when the audience calms down again, he decides there's only one thing to be done about this. Ryo will have to summon every little bit of Hina-ness inside of him but at least this will work. Briskly he walks up to Subaru and pulls up the sheets on one side, effectively landing Subaru on the floor face-first.
"Ahh!" Subaru yells. The Dome explodes into laughter. "Wow, I feel so rested!" Subaru exclaims after getting up.
Ryo stares at him. What's he doing, this wasn't in the script. Ryo laughs at Subaru nervously, not knowing what to expect.
"Well you did sleep for a very long time, princess," Yoko says, suddenly appearing on stage. Ryo is getting really confused really fast now. They were supposed to embrace and then go backstage when the lights went down, right? Hina, Ohkura, Yasu and Maru soon follow after. What's happening?
"So princess," Ohkura says in his most seductive voice, getting Subaru's attention, "now that you've awoken from your slumber, which one of us do you choose? Could it possibly be me?"
What? No, no way! Ryo did not kiss Subaru just so that she, errh he, she...whatever could skip off into the sunset with another prince. This shit is so not going to go down like this.
"No of course it'll be me!" Yasu says doing this little flourish that just astonishes Ryo but seems to impress Subaru. The nerve of these people. Didn't anyone see him kiss Subaru? Why doesn't he automatically get the princess? He finally starts to protest out loud but is interrupted by Maru.
"Not in a million yeaaaars, little one!" he sings at Yasu. "Princess, you'll choose me right?" Maru gestures the audience to cheer for him even louder than they already were.
"No I! I was the one who fought for her so valiantly!” Hina calls out, “of course she’ll choose me!”
“NO,” Ryo starts but loud music starts playing and the juniors come back on stage forcing the princes to line up.
“So, beautiful princess,” Yoko says, ever the ringmaster, the mastermind behind it all. Yes, Ryo is starting to see where this is going. He’s going to talk to Yoko about this later. If Yoko is ever going to shut up that is.
“You have awoken from a long and deep slumber. Ryo-chan over here was the prince who awoke you, but as you may have noticed, he’s quite violent. He fought poor prince Hina and then he threw you off the bed! I’m sure this is something you’ll want to put into consideration when you make your choice!”
Ryo is amazed at the genius of it all, really. They mercilessly made use of his pure innocent mind (well okay not so much his mind as his ego, but still) to trick him into doing the kissing part and still keep all of Eito in the running. The throwing Subaru off the bed part might not have been planned, but of course the battle with Hina was planned. He walked right into Yoko’s trap. He’s good. He’s really really good. Ryo should probably stop admiring Yoko’s genius now bacause Yoko has moved on to the next part of his plan which is apparently asking the audience to vote for a prince by cheering, to make it easier on the princess to choose.
Ryo can do this, Ryo is totally more popular than the rest of them. And then…
“Actually,” Subaru starts, “among the princes, I do already have someone I like...”
Cue Dome explosion.
Ryo kind of wants to cover his ears, but he can’t, they’re not allowed.
“Well, princess, who is the lucky man?” Yoko asks.
Ryo can’t believe that Subaru was in on the plan all along. Ryo thought Subaru had gotten tricked into doing this just like him, but really, he knew what was going on. Next time Yoko has a plan, Ryo is going to be a lot more careful. Oh lord, Jin, Pi and Yuu are going to mock him when they hear this. Now Ryo kind of wants to go find a dark corner somewhere and just hide there until people stop looking for him or something. Subaru is looking at him. Why is Subaru looking at him? Is Subaru choosing him? Oh my god Subaru is walking towards him. Whywhywhy. What’s happening? He’s standing right in front of Ryo now.
“I like Ryo-chan!” Subaru declares and grabs Ryo’s hand.
Ryo is dumbfounded. How…why?
And then the audience erupts into a deafening wave of cheers and the lights go out.
There’s no time to ask questions now. Questions can come later. Ryo now has to hurry backstage to change into semi-normal jeans and the concert t-shirt. Ryo still doesn’t get it. Why couldn’t they tell him? Why didn’t they include him in their plans?
They get back on stage after the audience has yelled for an encore for about three minutes (changing only took one minute, obviously).
“You guys want more?” Yoko asks the audience. “By the way, we’re going against tradition by filming the concert DVD on the first day instead of the last!”
~~~
It had all started to make sense to Ryo the minute Yoko told the audience they were filming for the DVD. Yoko had later even explained that Ryo’s real shocked faces looked better on camera than his acted shocked faces. Ryo had by then already figured it was probably some bullshit like that. Now he’s even okay with it…if not for the fact that they’re now in a karaoke room with Subaru’s girlfriend and her friends and Subaru’s girlfriend is even scarier than Ryo remembered. Apparently she’s pretty big in Korea, the leader of a group singing songs about being the best or whatever. Ryo doesn’t care if she’s famous, as long as she stays famous on the other side of room. Or the Japanese Sea, Ryo’s not picky. Unfortunately for him, she decides sitting next to him is a good idea.
“So Nishikido-san,” she starts in English, “I was at your concert the other day.”
Oh no, no she’s smiling at him, why is she smiling at him? It’s scary.
“I couldn’t help but notice the way you looked at Subaru during the last part.”
The way he looked at Subaru? Like she could see on his face how much he really didn’t want to be there and now she’s insulted or something? Ryo really doesn't want to die yet and definitely not in the alley next to this karaoke place.
“Maybeee, I could persuade you to join us sometime?”
She smiles at him with the most angelical expression on her face and it takes Ryo a little while to figure out what she means. When he does he jumps up in horror. And then sits down again, trying to compose himself, maybe he misunderstood. Yeah, he must have.
“Uhm, I’m sorry, I don’t quite get what you mean,” Ryo asks, not looking directly at her.
She puts her hand on his knee. “Oh I think you got it alright.” And then she licks her lips.
~~
Ryo is not sorry he stormed out and went home right then. Of course later on, when recounting the story to Jin, Pi and Yuu he doesn’t quite put it that way. He tells them something along the lines of bros before ho’s and the different ways he would have done her if she wasn’t Subaru’s girlfriend. Of course he could have gotten her anyway. He just decided not to. Because of the bro thing. Yuu punches his shoulder, hard, telling him that he made the most stupid mistake ever and that under no circumstances he should ever pass on having a threesome with hot badass Korean superstars ever again. Jin and Pi, they get it. Pi tells him he would have done the same. That makes Ryo feel a little better.
What Ryo doesn’t know, and probably never will, is that when he left the karaoke that night, CL and Yoko high-fived like it was going out of style.
Messing with people’s minds is more fun when you have accomplices anyway.