[song-fic challenge] Murasaki
Purple Sky
Title: Purple Sky
Pairing: Pin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, Angst
Warning : Jin’s POV, unbetaed
Summary: The purple sky is the witness of my love for you.
Disclaimer: I just own the plot
A/N: I love Jin’s song ‘Murasaki’! So this is the result of my craziness towards the song LOL
(.^_^.)
I felt my life was stuck in the same path. I saw the same view and I felt the same breeze. I hated myself because I didn’t want to make a new path in my life. Why? I always asked myself about that and I found the answer in your eyes. Those brown and lonely eyes trapped me in the darkness that I called as love. My love for you was the reason I was always here, waiting for you, though I knew I would never have you.
Pi…
Do you remember the first time we met?
There was a sunset in the beach where we spent our holiday in Okinawa. We didn’t know each other at that time, but we sat closely and enjoyed the sunset. It was so beautiful with purple color that somehow warmed our heart. I glanced at you and I saw how your eyes glittered with live and love. I fell for you because of that. I hoped I can meet you again somewhere in the future. I wanted to see your lively eyes again. I wanted you to see me with the same eyes when you saw the sunset. I closed my eyes and hoped for that to be true, and when I opened my eyes, my hope escalated into the cold air. I saw someone came and sat beside you. You gave me your back to see her, kiss her and shower her with your love. I smiled bitterly. It was such a great day. I fell in love and broken heart in the same time.
My tears kept flowing as I felt the pain in my body and soul. I must be happy that years later I met you. I thought my hope was granted. I welcomed you into my life without thinking that it would ruin my life bit by bit. I spread my arms to get you into my hug. I gave you everything that you couldn’t get from her. I didn’t mind to be her replacement as long as I could be with you. I thought I was crazy for you. I couldn’t understand what I was doing. I just wanted to fulfill the emptiness inside my body. I needed you because I love you.
“I love you,” You said in my ear.
I bit my lips, feeling torn apart because how hard you thrust inside me and how hard my heart to take your words. You hurt me because I knew I wasn’t the one who deserved that. I hurt because how come you still thought about her when you were with me and made love with me. I had never complained. I just cried and kept the pain alone. I even didn’t slap you when you screamed her name when you come deep inside me. I thought I could handle it. I thought I was strong enough to be by your side always though my heart broke into piece.
You caressed my cheeks, wiping away my tears. You kissed me gently as if I was the precious one for you. We haven’t talked too much when we were together. We just felt the warmth of each other. I thought it was enough just to be with you. But slowly I became so greedy. I wanted you to love me only. I wanted you to say ‘I Love You’ for me, without someone else in your eyes and heart. Just me. But everything didn’t always happen like we want to be. I knew my position in your heart. I was nothing. I was just replacement. I was here just to comfort you. I was just the victim of your love for her.
I didn’t understand why she hurt you. You loved her, but he treated you like you were nothing in her life. She said harsh words to you, betraying you, cheating on you and even breaking the promise between you two. Then why did you still love her, thinking she is the only one for you? You loved her like she was the only woman in this world. You treasured her and protected her. You tried to be a good man for her. You worked so hard and devoted your love for her, but what you got just never ending pain. You were same like me. You were trapped in the love that blinded your eyes from the cruel fact. The fact about you would never get the heart of someone you love. Just like me, for you.
I couldn’t count again how many times you came to me. You didn’t cry, but your face showed how broken you were inside. You let me hug you. We hugged each other and then you brought me into my bedroom. You kissed me hungrily and sometimes it was too harsh. You ripped my clothes and took me like you want to rape me. You left angry mark all over my body as if you wanted to show me how mad you were. I cried, not because of the pain you caused to me, but because I didn’t feel loved. You ignored my cry at first but when you were inside me, you changed your behavior instantly. You turned to be so gentle and loved.
It was hard to understand him, but I knew that the change of his behavior was because he realized it was me whom with him, not his lover. He kissed my forehead and apologized to me. He then hugged me for a while, let me calm down before he took me completely. I knew we didn’t make love because my love couldn’t reach his heart. That fact always made me disgusted with myself after that. What was I? A replacement? A slut? I didn’t know myself.
We had been in this situation for years. As much as I love you, I felt so tired with all of this. I couldn’t take it anymore because I felt we would tear apart every time we were together. I felt so scared if I lost your touch. I felt I crave for your love every time you kiss me, take me and be with me. I was scared of myself that was getting greedier to make you mine. I wouldn’t force you to love me. I wanted you to love me truly. Did I ask too much for your love? Would I be always your replacement for her? When would you love me?
I thought it was enough. My life was already broken. I wouldn’t let myself lost in the darkness again. I realized this wasn’t the best for us to be together if we just hurt each other. If you loved her, you wouldn’t betray her. Just came back for here if you believed that your place was beside her, not me. I cried so much before I told you that. We needed to end this. We wouldn’t go anywhere with this. My love for you was pure. I didn’t want to taint it with hatred or hurt because of what happened to us. I prefer loving you for a far to love you like this. I wanted us to realize what the best for us. If you weren’t for mine, I just could hope you were for her.
It was raining when I told you that. We couldn’t see the purple color of sunset, we just could see the emptiness in our eyes. I bid you my farewell and left you, letting my tears mix with the rain. You didn’t call my name. You didn’t run after me. You didn’t stop me. I smiled bitterly. Like what I always thought, I was nothing for him.
I was lost of what to do when I left you. I tried to move on but I found I couldn’t. I thought my love for you was getting strong when we were apart. I was happy because I could love you without hurting myself again. I could smile when I remembered about you. I could reminisce the memories of us. I didn’t regret for loving you. On the contrary, I was glad I met you. Even though I needed a long time to move on, but I had never regretted what we had at that time. I just hoped we could meet again in different situation and fate. It was the only one wish that I kept believed in these past years.
The breeze of the sea blew my hair and my clothes. My bare foot walked on the sand of the beach. I smiled upon seeing the view that hadn’t changed anymore since the last time I came here. I stopped walking and then sat there. Nobody was around me. It was just me. I hugged my knees, putting my head on my knees like a child. I smiled as I enjoyed the view of the sunset. I felt like coming back to the time when I met you for the first time. I could see the beautiful purple color of the sunset again. How I wished you were here with me, looking at the sunset together.
I gasped when a pair of hand wrapped around my waist. I couldn’t look back when the person touched our cheeks together. I was so surprised and couldn’t believe this. Why were you here? I wanted to ask but nothing came out of my mouth. You kissed my temple and hid your face against my neck.
“I found you,” you said. “Don’t leave me again. I love you, Jin.”
My eyes were teary upon hearing that. It was the first time you called my name when you said I Love You. Were those words really for me? I didn’t know. I just closed my eyes and let you kissed my cheek. When I opened my eyes, you stared at me with the same eyes like I saw years ago. The same eyes that made me fall in love with you. Now, there was someone else beside you. There were just you, me and the purple sky above us.
Owari…(.^_^.)
A/N 1: Okay, I feel weird. Did I write Angst??? *dies*
Uhuhuhu, I don’t like writing angst, but, but, the song gave me this inspiration >,<
Hope you don’t pinch me because of the lack of conversation between Pin *runs to Pluto*
A/N 2: Achan, this is for you. I love you so much *hugs attack*
A/N 3: Minna, thank you for reading *gives you all oberi cake* XD