To:
imifumeiFrom:
solesakuma HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Title: Christmas Cowards
Pairing/Group: Arashi, gen
Rating: G
Warnings None.
Notes:
imifumei, I really hope you like this. Writing it made me remember what I love about Christmas. :)
Summary: Even if Nino has never liked Christmas that much, it’s not like he can get away from Christmas at Jun’s.
i.
Nino has never been much of a Christmas guy. He'd like to say it's because he's an example of perfect feudal Japanese spirituality, but if he has to be honest it's simply because buying gifts for girls is kind of a hassle. They're never clear enough and the ones that were were also pushy and their tastes were too difficult.
So for Nino, December is simply that month in which he rehearses for winter-themed performances and tries to keep the balancing thoughts out of his head, even if he can't. Because Christmas might not be important, but New Year still feels like a milestone. The most important milestone of his year might be November the 11th, but the first day of a new year still carries an aura of change and good omens.
Every year, as he sings and dances and smiles for the crowd, he can't help but balance.
ii.
He never asks the rest what their plans for Christmas are. In fact, he usually learns about birthdays from their manager. He doesn't mind buying gifts for them, though. He can read their needs and it's an instant way to show he cares, even if he never asks.
In turn, they don't mind telling him. In fact, they insist on talking about their Christmas or Golden Week or Whatever Day plans in great detail. In loving, painstaking detail.
And then they regale him with long, winding tales of girls and romantic walks through the snow.
He's sure it's payback for his never-ending tales of sexual prowess.
He's not as sure if theirs are as fake as his.
iii.
Nino is trying to sleep and the van lulls him softly. He peeks out the window and sees some nameless city blur by. He lowers his cap, trying to cover his eyes. Every inch of his body aches.
Jun murmurs incessantly just beside him, but lifting his arm to punch him is too tiring.
He glances at Jun. He’s counting stuff with his fingers and now Nino realizes what’s happening - Jun has been changing his mind about who to ask out for Christmas since October. He has a list. He crosses names and then writes them down again. He lists pros and cons and asks for advice he’ll ignore.
‘Just pick somebody or I’ll pick them out for you,’ Nino growls and lowers his cap a little more.
iv.
Jun should know better than to leave his bag unattended near his bandmates, because the list is way too visible. It’s sitting on a table and Jun is nowhere to be seen. It’s almost too easy.
Nino steals it during one of their breaks. He reads the names. They’re all pretty and fun and chic and nice. The perfect Christmas.
He steals Sho’s pen and writes down Arashi's names with perfect calligraphy. He doesn’t even bother to put it back in his place.
He just waits until Jun stomps back into the room - Jun either stomps or struts, no strolling for him - and then Nino gives it to him with a wide smile. Jun takes it and then frowns. Nino knows that frown. It's bad news.
'It's just a joke. I know you don't want us as a date,' he says. Jun strokes his chin and then he hammers his eyes into Nino’s. 'Oh, no, don't confess! Not right now!'
Jun takes a chair, sits down and reads the list again. 'Maybe you are right. After all, Christmas is for the family, isn't it?'
Nino sits down too. It's as much encouragement as he'll give Jun.
'And Arashi is family, right? So maybe we could spend it together.'
'Because I want to spend a romantic night with my co-workers. Right. Don't buy the stuff we say for the magazines, Jun. I only grope you in a professional way.'
Jun carefully folds the list again and puts it down on the table. 'You're the one that wrote down our names.'
'As a joke. Because it's preposterous.'
Jun taps the table and pushes the list towards Nino. 'Never mind then. We'll just have a party without you.'
'It won't be a party without me.' He crosses his arms without even thinking.
Jun mirrors him and then leans back on his chair. 'You're in charge of the drinking then.'
'Do you remember Aiba's birthday party last year?'
Jun takes out a notepad out of his bag and starts writing down stuff. He doesn’t look up at Nino. ‘It’s all a blur. And that’s why you’re buying the booze. Besides, I can handle the cooking and I'm sure Sho will find about some neat traditions to help enliven the night.'
'I'm only accepting because you have terrible taste in booze,' he says and then he takes the list.
v.
The amount of books and print-outs and magazines is impressive. Nino feels sorry for the poor manager that has to carry that around, because Sho sure as hell isn’t carrying them around.
'Jun is crazy,' Nino says, staring at them.
'We already know that.,' Sho replies. He’s engrossed in some magazine that has backwards Rs all over it.
Nino pokes a stack of papers that then crumbles.
'I know. I just enjoy being right.'
'You could've said no,' Sho says and then puts the magazine on top of two books.
'And leave you to face the beast alone? No, I'm an honourable man.'
'So… any ideas?'
‘Yes. We could cancel it.’
‘This was your doing Nino, not ours. Besides,’ Sho makes a dramatic pause. He likes those. ‘you actually want this.’
Nino focuses on the stack of papers Sho has printed out. It’s research. Silly stories of families in front of the fire and pictures of snow and… beaches? ‘What’s this place?’
‘Australia! Isn’t it cool? Christmas is during the summer there so they have picnics on the beach and drink wine and get sunburnt…’
‘Sounds perfect for Ohno, then. Wait. They have Christmas in July?'
'No, the other way around. They have summer in December. You didn’t know that?'
'Right. I knew that.’ Nino tries to picture it. He remembers how chilly his place is when he gets home and how difficult it is to get up in the morning. Are people really jumping into swimming pools as he’s slipping on frost? ‘But... it's weird, isn't it? To think that while we're here, freezing to death, they're on the beach surfing.'
'I guess? It's just the way things are.'
'Aren't you even curious? About why it's that way?'
'Well, I'd be. If I didn't know.'
Nino crosses his arms. 'So you know? Explain it then.'
Sho grabs a orange from his lunch. 'If the orange is the Earth...' He positions it on the floor with his polished, almost perfect hands. Nino spends way more time than is healthy staring at Arashi's hands, but it’s not his fault if his bandmates all have remarkable hands. His bandmates also have a weird tendency to make science demonstrations using every-day objects.
'If the orange is the Earth, then this flowerpot is the sun, right? As the Earth turns around the sun, it gets farther away from the sun and thus, we have winter and summer,' Sho continues.
Nino takes the orange and starts peeling it. 'It doesn't make sense. If it were that way, then it should be the same all around the world. And it's not, so you're wrong.'
'Then what's your theory, then?'
'Hm. Maybe it has to do with how the Earth spins, not with how it turns. It doesn't need the Sun for everything, you know?'
'The Earth is not as self-reliant as you, Nino,' Sho says.
Nino just eats his orange.
vi.
Nino doesn't even need to try to keep the party out of his head, swamped as he is with work.
'Hey, Nino, what are we drinking in the party? Have you already bought it?' Aiba asks.
Of course, he could forget about it. If the rest didn't insist on it. All the time.
'I'm sure something will happen and the party will be cancelled. Maybe there will be an earthquake or maybe Godzilla will show up,' he replies.
'But in that case, the public would ask for Arashi to save them and we'll have to reveal we're secretly superheroes and our cover will be blown, Nino.'
Why did fans think Aiba was innocent and good natured, again? He puffed. They'd be great superheroes, anyway. 'I'll buy beer. That's all we need,' he says, lifting his beer mug.
Aiba laughs and pats Nino on the head. Nino wishes he didn’t it. They’re in public after all. 'I've been reading, Nino!’
Famous last words.
Aiba goes on. ‘And I think we should do it the Bulgarian way.'
'What? When did you become Bulgarian?'
'When I found out they have the greatest Christmas traditions ever. Did you know they don't eat chicken for Christmas? Not even meat! They have vegetarian dishes. Tons of vegetarian dishes and they must be an uneven number or it is bad luck.'
Ohno shifts in Nino's arms. 'That sounds delicious.'
'It is. They eat baked pumpkin! And something called banitza that sounds amazing. And then they lit up this log and they stay up all night with their family. All their family. Cousins and sisters and aunts. But kids go to sleep. Isn't it amazing?'
Aiba’s eyes are filled with somebody else’s happy Christmas memories and Nino drinks his whole glass.
'No? Imagine it. A loud Bulgarian family around you all night. That's the stuff nightmares are made of. I don't like it even one little bit,’ he says once he’s put it down.
Ohno stands up, surrounds Nino with his arms and stares at him. 'We may not be Bulgarian, but I'm sure you like us. A lot.'
Aiba taps his knees and smiles. 'Do you think that becoming a Bulgarian citizen is hard?'
Nino rolls his eyes and wonders if there's some kind of Bulgarian hard liquor he can buy, because he's going to need it.
vii.
It's not that Nino doesn't like Christmas Carols, it's just that after listening them for three straight hours he's starting to doubt Jun's music taste.
'But then, Yabai Yabai Yabai was enough proof...' he murmurs.
Jun's couch is comfy and Sho's lap is even comfier The warm and tingly feel of hard liquors is running through his veins - Nino wonders if rakija translates as 'Let's get drunk!' - and his stomach feels full. Ohno is allegedly drawing a portrait of them and Aiba and Jun are washing the dishes. The table is still full of half-full glasses of cider and pannetonne crumbs and streamers and crackers and half-eaten melon and ham - who would have thought it tasted so good.
'Shouldn't we be leaving?' he says, when he realizes the clock has struck midnight long ago.
'We haven't even exchanged gifts yet,' Jun says.
He’s not in the kitchen anymore, Aiba is filling socks - actual socks, not fancy decorative stuff - with candy and Ohno is staring out of the window. Sho is searching Jun’s CD collection. Great. No more carols.
'But don't you have a date? It's getting late...'
Jun grabs a blanket and covers him. It's fluffy and ragged. Nino clings to it. 'Let's put it this way - somebody decided for me and I can't say I'm unhappy about it.'
Nino smiles. 'But I'm not helping clean up in the morning.'
'Don't worry, nobody expects you to.'
Outside, the snow storm rages on.