Ever get the weird feeling?
Sometimes the smallest things can give me a weird almost indescribable sensation in my chest and stomach. It's not sadness but at the same time it's not a feeling of joy either. Really what I'm talking about is just an almost cold sensation that tingles at the same time.
To be completely honest, I think it's a form of regret upon recollection of the past. I'm not sure if this sort of thing is good or bad, I guess it more depends on the memories that in part caused the feeling. The small things that trigger this weird feeling is usually something that reminds me of something that used to be very important in my life, but is no longer a part of it. It doesn't really matter if the memories associated are pleasant or not... it just gives me a unusual sense of loss that I can't explain. That in turn gives me a weird tingling feeling.
The point to this non-nonsensical rant? I currently have that feeling. I don't really want to reveal why I have the feeling because it's actually not that important. Just memories from my early teen years, resurfacing for a few moments is all it is.
It's just very unusual to even have this feeling I think... because I know my life now is a lot better than it ever was during those years past, but somehow I still crave to return to those oh so turbulent times for some reason. This yearning could be just a desire to return to simpler times, regardless of the pleasantness of the circumstances; though I can't be sure. The only thing I'm sure of is that with each year that passes I get this weird sensation of regret inside my chest more frequently.
I'm not sure if I'm just crazy, or if these are the symptoms of aging. Either way, this feeling is not one that I really need added onto my depression, paranoia and self loathing. And to relate this post to the current time in my life, not something I feel like dealing with during exam week either. It's distracting and concerning too.
I haven't really described this elusive feeling very well, but I tried. In fact I'm not even sure what this entry was about now. Oh well... it's something I felt like talking about for once, something I hardly attempt to articulate to myself. This is just one of those things I should try to understand about myself better than I do.