a bit of a bad day with a side pf peas... i mean peace
cut and paste frm myspace...
it was a bit of a day [yesterday].
I had an inkling that it was going to stink. i knew it.
i woke up. no one was home. maggie had gone to work. i watched tv. went to lindsays to deliver a mouse trap and some cheese. then i headed home to get some stuff for blazeradio. my toilet is broken so at 1 i went to the HUC to go to the bathroom. I had some quality alone time for a good bit.
I talked to God. I needed to. I told him i was scared. about the show (i had promoted a lot. but i was scared no one was coming). about my life. about what his plans are for me. all he ever really said was he had it under control. thats so assuring but at the same times its not. so even after that I was a little upset. I walked in to blazeradio in a grumpy mood. i rarely spoke. My music reflected everything I felt. for the most part. I tried to not let it influence me too much. but you pick about 30 songs randomly and its not so random anymore.
so after all of that i went home quickly and changed shows then headed to crossroads. this is where the story gets interesting
remember that i have promoted and passed out flyers for this show quite a bit. I worked hard. or at least i felt like I did. I knew people were coming. So i get to crossroads at 4 30. i started putting all the chairs up. i called matt. i asked him if there was anything i needed to do. he said no. just make sure there is a sign. so i did. then about 5 15 "Last Day" shows up. they asked me where to bring their stuff in. i told them. they asked when they were playing. i explained that heroic me was playing last. they would probably play before them and then i guess teir other 2 bands would play before that. they said thats great. but they only had one other band. i asked which one. they said "Red Lipstick Letter" didnt play the show before so they dont think they are coming today. I was like ummm ok. they said they had family coming and asked if heroic me would switch. i was like ummm no it will be ok.
so then I am talking to Matt (from Last day) and he asked what 2 local bands I had coming. I was confused. he thought i had local bands. I was like ummm no. he said well we only have a 20 minute set. the other bands sucks and red lipstick letter quit the tour. i was a little upset... naturally. i wish some one had told me. so i go to call matt. he doesnt answer. i call jamie. ben answers and I start getting all worked up about this and that and the bands and what not. he hands the phone to jamie and I have to tell the story all over again. he says dont wory about it... we will just have 3 bands. then he asks how many mic stands and mics the church has.
i was like i dont know 4?
he says well we just wanted to see before we packed it all.
remember this is 5 25. i was under the impression they would be there around 5 30 or 6. so i get a little upset again. jamie says they will be there in a little bit. no. in a while! so lindsay calls me. i just needed to scream a little. i have never done this before. everything i was worried about was happening. everything that i knew would happen... was.
so lindsay comes to console me. she brings a cookie and a dr pepper. thank GOD! matt and jamie and ben get there at 6 15. "In My time of Dying" Still isnt there. I go ask Last day. they say they left atlanta about an hour and a half ago. i was like UMMM WHAT. the show is supossed to start at 7. So I am thinking its cool... people will just get here and i will tell them its been postponed.
well at 6 30 no one is here yet. at 7... no one is here yet. at 7 30.. no one here yet. at some point mat powell, matt hall, laura dun and 2 girls from the mall came. but all that promoting i did... crap. all those people i talked to and said they were coming.. crap.
so jamie asks me for a table. i head off to look for one. one of the guys from last day yells at me "I dont think we are gonna play" i was like yeah i dont know where that other band is. he says "No... WE arent playing" he explains his voice hurts and they are all tired. matt (from lat day) points and says "no HE is tired"
I said well let me get matt gregg.. you can talk to him. so i walk up there... and i get all worked up and tell matt to go down there. i say they dont want to play and go do something. i needed to leave. i grabbed my keys and stormed out. i was about to drive. i didnt. i just stood there.
lindsay came out and i told her everything.
turns out the vocalist form last day QUIT. not the sow - the band. they had not spoken to the other band since they left atlanta. no one was coming. this show fell apart. i gave everyone their money back. sarahs mom had given me money for helping her with math. i gave it to crossroads. i felt terrible that people had come out to help all day and nothing happened.
I felt bad about myself.
everyone said there was nthing i could do about it.
everyone said it wasnt my fault.
everyone said to brush it off.
but i felt like an idiot. i felt like i failed. i felt dumb.
i knew there was nothing i could do. i knew it wasnt my fault but i couldnt brush it off. all i could do was cry. matt gregg was pretty good about calming me down. he was a good friend and i thank him for that.
good things did come ou of it. friends we rarel see were hanging out. matt and laura finaly got to see each other. lindsay and laura reunited. heroic me sold a lot of merch. and i guess its good Last day broke up before this whole tour kicked off. people from church became friends. and some guy was witnessed to.
i know God had a plan for this whole thing. i know that my merrit has nothing to do with his glory. God can create things and destroy them all for his glory. i suppose that provides me with some type of peace.
it just doesnt change the fact that the whole situation sucked.
i have a peace... it just sucked.
afterwards we did go to als and see charlie and the chocolate factory. it was amazing!
it was a bit of a day [yesterday].
I had an inkling that it was going to stink. i knew it.
i woke up. no one was home. maggie had gone to work. i watched tv. went to lindsays to deliver a mouse trap and some cheese. then i headed home to get some stuff for blazeradio. my toilet is broken so at 1 i went to the HUC to go to the bathroom. I had some quality alone time for a good bit.
I talked to God. I needed to. I told him i was scared. about the show (i had promoted a lot. but i was scared no one was coming). about my life. about what his plans are for me. all he ever really said was he had it under control. thats so assuring but at the same times its not. so even after that I was a little upset. I walked in to blazeradio in a grumpy mood. i rarely spoke. My music reflected everything I felt. for the most part. I tried to not let it influence me too much. but you pick about 30 songs randomly and its not so random anymore.
so after all of that i went home quickly and changed shows then headed to crossroads. this is where the story gets interesting
remember that i have promoted and passed out flyers for this show quite a bit. I worked hard. or at least i felt like I did. I knew people were coming. So i get to crossroads at 4 30. i started putting all the chairs up. i called matt. i asked him if there was anything i needed to do. he said no. just make sure there is a sign. so i did. then about 5 15 "Last Day" shows up. they asked me where to bring their stuff in. i told them. they asked when they were playing. i explained that heroic me was playing last. they would probably play before them and then i guess teir other 2 bands would play before that. they said thats great. but they only had one other band. i asked which one. they said "Red Lipstick Letter" didnt play the show before so they dont think they are coming today. I was like ummm ok. they said they had family coming and asked if heroic me would switch. i was like ummm no it will be ok.
so then I am talking to Matt (from Last day) and he asked what 2 local bands I had coming. I was confused. he thought i had local bands. I was like ummm no. he said well we only have a 20 minute set. the other bands sucks and red lipstick letter quit the tour. i was a little upset... naturally. i wish some one had told me. so i go to call matt. he doesnt answer. i call jamie. ben answers and I start getting all worked up about this and that and the bands and what not. he hands the phone to jamie and I have to tell the story all over again. he says dont wory about it... we will just have 3 bands. then he asks how many mic stands and mics the church has.
i was like i dont know 4?
he says well we just wanted to see before we packed it all.
remember this is 5 25. i was under the impression they would be there around 5 30 or 6. so i get a little upset again. jamie says they will be there in a little bit. no. in a while! so lindsay calls me. i just needed to scream a little. i have never done this before. everything i was worried about was happening. everything that i knew would happen... was.
so lindsay comes to console me. she brings a cookie and a dr pepper. thank GOD! matt and jamie and ben get there at 6 15. "In My time of Dying" Still isnt there. I go ask Last day. they say they left atlanta about an hour and a half ago. i was like UMMM WHAT. the show is supossed to start at 7. So I am thinking its cool... people will just get here and i will tell them its been postponed.
well at 6 30 no one is here yet. at 7... no one is here yet. at 7 30.. no one here yet. at some point mat powell, matt hall, laura dun and 2 girls from the mall came. but all that promoting i did... crap. all those people i talked to and said they were coming.. crap.
so jamie asks me for a table. i head off to look for one. one of the guys from last day yells at me "I dont think we are gonna play" i was like yeah i dont know where that other band is. he says "No... WE arent playing" he explains his voice hurts and they are all tired. matt (from lat day) points and says "no HE is tired"
I said well let me get matt gregg.. you can talk to him. so i walk up there... and i get all worked up and tell matt to go down there. i say they dont want to play and go do something. i needed to leave. i grabbed my keys and stormed out. i was about to drive. i didnt. i just stood there.
lindsay came out and i told her everything.
turns out the vocalist form last day QUIT. not the sow - the band. they had not spoken to the other band since they left atlanta. no one was coming. this show fell apart. i gave everyone their money back. sarahs mom had given me money for helping her with math. i gave it to crossroads. i felt terrible that people had come out to help all day and nothing happened.
I felt bad about myself.
everyone said there was nthing i could do about it.
everyone said it wasnt my fault.
everyone said to brush it off.
but i felt like an idiot. i felt like i failed. i felt dumb.
i knew there was nothing i could do. i knew it wasnt my fault but i couldnt brush it off. all i could do was cry. matt gregg was pretty good about calming me down. he was a good friend and i thank him for that.
good things did come ou of it. friends we rarel see were hanging out. matt and laura finaly got to see each other. lindsay and laura reunited. heroic me sold a lot of merch. and i guess its good Last day broke up before this whole tour kicked off. people from church became friends. and some guy was witnessed to.
i know God had a plan for this whole thing. i know that my merrit has nothing to do with his glory. God can create things and destroy them all for his glory. i suppose that provides me with some type of peace.
it just doesnt change the fact that the whole situation sucked.
i have a peace... it just sucked.
afterwards we did go to als and see charlie and the chocolate factory. it was amazing!