Up in the cut.
Most people walk through life in a trance, and rarely pause to
consider what they're doing. Life becomes a reactive haze, where you just live through your
habits. Wake up, go to work, watch TV, surf the web, have a bit
of fun, go to sleep. There is no proactive steering of the ship. Just emotional
reactions to things as they come up. They have concepts of what they deserve. Their places in life.
Emotions that they can handle, and emotions that are outside of
their capacity to process. That's MOST of society. As creatures of habit, it's almost impossible to break day-to-
day repetition and implement a new routine. And yet, it's that new routine that only makes a 0.001 percent
difference on a day-to-day, but ADDS UP over several years. I turned 26 this year, and my life is very different than when
I was 22 or 23. I feel my time a LOT more now. From the minute I wake up, to
the minute I go to sleep, I feel my time being drained from me. That's FINE. But if it's being drained, there is a VERY clear
cut line in my mind as to what kind of things it's going to be
spent on.
Replying to long emails... NO.
Answering long phone calls... NO.
Dealing with drama... NO.
Gossiping... NO.
Dwelling on stuff that I logically know is dumb... NO.
Watching any TV or movie that isn't highly creative and
perspective-altering... NO.
Time wasting... NO WAY.
People who aren't living at a standard that I respect... CUT
OFF.
People who waste my time... BYE BYE.
This stuff is ALL cut out of my life. If I sense this kind of thing going on, I get a retching
feeling in my gut and cut it off ASAP. I wake up every morning ready to work. Another 16 hour work
day... I'm all for it. To me, this is a RACE... a race against time... while the world
is choding around, I'm living my life.
Wake up.
Eat.
Gym.
Morning briefing with Papa.
Plan the day.
Work.
Work.
Work.
Innovate.
Work.
Work.
Go out and practice my skills.
Sleep.
Wake up and do it again.
It's WORK HARD... PLAY HARD...
When I do something fun (and I do every day), it's going to be
VERY FUN. My life is very focused. I want to dominate. I want a LOT. I understand that most people don't want this lifestyle. Some
people are probably just as happy, if not more happy than I am. Whatever works for them works for them. But this is what works
for me. In my mind, life is for the taking. I will continue to travel
to ALL the best places. I will continue to eat the best food. I
will continue to get the hottest honeys. I will have the most
talented people around me and meet many more. I will dominate my environments and work continually to make
0.001 percent improvements that add up over a period of time.
At all times I have little projects on the go that to most
people would seem to be moving at a snail's pace. I have a
clear cut vision and am willing to do whatever it takes to
achieve it.
The biggest thing I have is MOMENTUM.
It's been a long time, livejournal. I've been tired...shit I've been exhausted. I haven't written on my thoughts and philosophies in a long time, so here's an attempt at former normalcy.
I got that lj-cut in an email, in one of the 2 weekly newsletters I've signed up for in an attempt to help me better myself. Reading everything over once, then again to soak it in, got my mind working in a way I haven't felt in what seems like forever. When i come across advice or someone's findings while stumbling through life, i take it all in and i scan back over relationships I've had with people, and i try to remember their mannerisms and habits. I try to see if thigns can be applied practically, and it usually works. I'm starting to realize the reason why i can't connect with most people is because most people can't deal with abstracts. Most people have this mental block that forbids them from becoming better. They throw excuses around, they build walls up to keep others out, or they just plain say "I don't know." James is not an "i don't know" type of person. I've never been the type to be clueless, because being clueless just proves our mortality. Being clueless makes you just another worthless merging of DNA that just so happens to be able to survive from sun up to sun down. I'm aiming for greatness, or at least a couple of notches over the mediocrity that seems to be fine with the general population. I'm tired of hearing "we should do this," "we should go here," let's start this thing," "that would be cool if we did it." Fuck that, I'm fed up with talking. I'm fed up with keeping certain actions and habits in my life because I think I need them, and the same goes with people. I'm tired of not choosing who is worthy of my reality. I fell in love. I was stupid to let it happen, and now I'm scarred, but shit happens. She is one of those people who can't think in abstracts, and I hate dealing with it. But with love, you tend to accept faults because it's not about the things that are wrong, it's about the things that are so undeniably right. Anyway. I want her in my life, but i know we're opposites, not in the way that opposites attract, we're opposites in the way that there are things she knows annoy me, and she doesn't change them. The way she thinks perplexes me, and she can't explain it, and it annoys me. Her reasoning and her courses of action to try and avoid emotional pain on her own part, annoy the hell out of me. But i want to stay, because I don't want to end up on a wild goose chase for someone else. She's good to me, and we work well together, but certain things in the last few months have attached a question mark across my forehead whenever i see her. Off of that subject...
I'm constantly wracking my mind trying to make people see beyond their shallow little minds, and I never understood why it doesn't work. Sadly, I'm realizing more and more that it's beyond me, it's the faulty mind capacity they were born with. I'm more special and more deep than I ever noticed, not to brag or anything. I'm not unique at all, and i'm not alone, it's just that the majority of the company I keep simply isn't on my level. I know myself, inside and out. So many of my friends have never taken the time to get to know themselves, and it shows when we talk. It actually made me a bit sad when i couldn't help them grow, but it's not up to me. I can't help anyone who isn't willing to help themselves, and that's a tough concept. I assume that all people who are capable of rational thought are capable of some small level of abstract thought, and from there, it's just thorugh practice that you can work your way up to intense pondering. It's strange, but these are my thoughts.
And i can't help but think that me trying to save humanity is going to be the death of me. I'm not getting into the whole story, but the other day I thought that I could be Jesus. Ridiculous, really, but boredom tends to make me ridculous.
See you in a couple months.
-J
consider what they're doing. Life becomes a reactive haze, where you just live through your
habits. Wake up, go to work, watch TV, surf the web, have a bit
of fun, go to sleep. There is no proactive steering of the ship. Just emotional
reactions to things as they come up. They have concepts of what they deserve. Their places in life.
Emotions that they can handle, and emotions that are outside of
their capacity to process. That's MOST of society. As creatures of habit, it's almost impossible to break day-to-
day repetition and implement a new routine. And yet, it's that new routine that only makes a 0.001 percent
difference on a day-to-day, but ADDS UP over several years. I turned 26 this year, and my life is very different than when
I was 22 or 23. I feel my time a LOT more now. From the minute I wake up, to
the minute I go to sleep, I feel my time being drained from me. That's FINE. But if it's being drained, there is a VERY clear
cut line in my mind as to what kind of things it's going to be
spent on.
Replying to long emails... NO.
Answering long phone calls... NO.
Dealing with drama... NO.
Gossiping... NO.
Dwelling on stuff that I logically know is dumb... NO.
Watching any TV or movie that isn't highly creative and
perspective-altering... NO.
Time wasting... NO WAY.
People who aren't living at a standard that I respect... CUT
OFF.
People who waste my time... BYE BYE.
This stuff is ALL cut out of my life. If I sense this kind of thing going on, I get a retching
feeling in my gut and cut it off ASAP. I wake up every morning ready to work. Another 16 hour work
day... I'm all for it. To me, this is a RACE... a race against time... while the world
is choding around, I'm living my life.
Wake up.
Eat.
Gym.
Morning briefing with Papa.
Plan the day.
Work.
Work.
Work.
Innovate.
Work.
Work.
Go out and practice my skills.
Sleep.
Wake up and do it again.
It's WORK HARD... PLAY HARD...
When I do something fun (and I do every day), it's going to be
VERY FUN. My life is very focused. I want to dominate. I want a LOT. I understand that most people don't want this lifestyle. Some
people are probably just as happy, if not more happy than I am. Whatever works for them works for them. But this is what works
for me. In my mind, life is for the taking. I will continue to travel
to ALL the best places. I will continue to eat the best food. I
will continue to get the hottest honeys. I will have the most
talented people around me and meet many more. I will dominate my environments and work continually to make
0.001 percent improvements that add up over a period of time.
At all times I have little projects on the go that to most
people would seem to be moving at a snail's pace. I have a
clear cut vision and am willing to do whatever it takes to
achieve it.
The biggest thing I have is MOMENTUM.
It's been a long time, livejournal. I've been tired...shit I've been exhausted. I haven't written on my thoughts and philosophies in a long time, so here's an attempt at former normalcy.
I got that lj-cut in an email, in one of the 2 weekly newsletters I've signed up for in an attempt to help me better myself. Reading everything over once, then again to soak it in, got my mind working in a way I haven't felt in what seems like forever. When i come across advice or someone's findings while stumbling through life, i take it all in and i scan back over relationships I've had with people, and i try to remember their mannerisms and habits. I try to see if thigns can be applied practically, and it usually works. I'm starting to realize the reason why i can't connect with most people is because most people can't deal with abstracts. Most people have this mental block that forbids them from becoming better. They throw excuses around, they build walls up to keep others out, or they just plain say "I don't know." James is not an "i don't know" type of person. I've never been the type to be clueless, because being clueless just proves our mortality. Being clueless makes you just another worthless merging of DNA that just so happens to be able to survive from sun up to sun down. I'm aiming for greatness, or at least a couple of notches over the mediocrity that seems to be fine with the general population. I'm tired of hearing "we should do this," "we should go here," let's start this thing," "that would be cool if we did it." Fuck that, I'm fed up with talking. I'm fed up with keeping certain actions and habits in my life because I think I need them, and the same goes with people. I'm tired of not choosing who is worthy of my reality. I fell in love. I was stupid to let it happen, and now I'm scarred, but shit happens. She is one of those people who can't think in abstracts, and I hate dealing with it. But with love, you tend to accept faults because it's not about the things that are wrong, it's about the things that are so undeniably right. Anyway. I want her in my life, but i know we're opposites, not in the way that opposites attract, we're opposites in the way that there are things she knows annoy me, and she doesn't change them. The way she thinks perplexes me, and she can't explain it, and it annoys me. Her reasoning and her courses of action to try and avoid emotional pain on her own part, annoy the hell out of me. But i want to stay, because I don't want to end up on a wild goose chase for someone else. She's good to me, and we work well together, but certain things in the last few months have attached a question mark across my forehead whenever i see her. Off of that subject...
I'm constantly wracking my mind trying to make people see beyond their shallow little minds, and I never understood why it doesn't work. Sadly, I'm realizing more and more that it's beyond me, it's the faulty mind capacity they were born with. I'm more special and more deep than I ever noticed, not to brag or anything. I'm not unique at all, and i'm not alone, it's just that the majority of the company I keep simply isn't on my level. I know myself, inside and out. So many of my friends have never taken the time to get to know themselves, and it shows when we talk. It actually made me a bit sad when i couldn't help them grow, but it's not up to me. I can't help anyone who isn't willing to help themselves, and that's a tough concept. I assume that all people who are capable of rational thought are capable of some small level of abstract thought, and from there, it's just thorugh practice that you can work your way up to intense pondering. It's strange, but these are my thoughts.
And i can't help but think that me trying to save humanity is going to be the death of me. I'm not getting into the whole story, but the other day I thought that I could be Jesus. Ridiculous, really, but boredom tends to make me ridculous.
See you in a couple months.
-J