The Jones Soda Holiday Review Thanksgiving Special!
Howdy, faithful readers. I hope you all had a most excellent Thanksgiving feast, and you all joyous of times with the ones you love (of course, none of you had to see me...). As teased earlier, here's my friends and my review of both Jones Soda Holiday Packs(Yeah, I don't have any pictures ready, but you can deal without 'em, I might get around to updating this at a later date with more appeasing visuals).
These were tested in no particular order (i.e. Spin the Bottle):
Wild Herb Stuffing Soda:
Evan: It actually smells kinda good.(drinks) I don't even know. (another drink) Oh no... oh god! It has this aftertaste that kicks you ass!
Erik: (d)Oh that is putrid! Oh my god! That's Horrible.
Bean:It does smell good.(d) Ugh. It's pretty weak. It's tastes like watered down crap.
Pecan Pie Soda:
Erik: (d) It's not bad, it's just strong.
Evan:oo, smells like maple syrup. (d) I could probably drink this.
Bean: (d) Not bad. Tastes like maple and honey. Too overpowering, too sweet.
Smoked Salmon Paté Soda:
Bean: Not a strong smell, little bit of salmon. (d) Oh, Oh, sick. It does taste like salmon, like sweet, sweet salmon.
Erik: (d)Ugh, Oh my god. Ugh Ugh. That is horrible! Ugh. It won't go away!
Evan: (d)Tastes like p**sy. Ha. No, that is foul. That is disgusting.
Broccoli Casserole Soda:
Evan: Okay, this one I know i'm gonna puke on. (d)(gag)At first, i thought this wasn't bad, but then it tasted like my feet smell when i don't take a shower for a week. Like Kreugar's b**ls smell.
Erik: (d) (face of disgust)
Bean: Oh, it tastes like the (Harry Potter) Vomit jelly bean, except much, much sweeter.
Cranberry Soda:
Erik: smells good. (d) that's really, really good.
Bean: (d)that's not bad. This could be like a non-alcoholic spumante.
Evam: (d)it's not bad. tastes like juice from a dollar store.
Turkey & Gravy Soda:
Bean: smells like cardboard.(d)ugh, tastes like sweet, gravy soaked cardboard.
Evan: (d) oh... god. disgusting.
Erik: smells like the cleaning chemicals from school when somebody puked.(d)(long pause)alright, that was nasty.(ran to bathroom)
Corn on the cob Soda:
Evan: Definitely does not smell like corn on the cob. (d)it tastes really watery, except for this really gross flavor, just a little bit.
Erik:smells like lemon candy. (d) yeah, you're right.
Bean: tastes like some lemon starburst sat in a jar of water for a week and i drank that.
Brussels sprout Soda:
Erik: Oh my god, no, no, this is the worst of all of them! (d) (ran to bathroom, spat out on sink)oh my god. good luck with that one!
Evan: Oh... my god, that is a powerful stench. This is puke factor. This is instinctually bad, like cave men would've smelled this and said "no way."(d) oh my god. just take it. just take it away. it's so sweet and disgusting. like the other one times 10. oh my god.
Bean: it smells like really super sweet, fried, almost burnt, butter.(d)(cough, gag, drool)
Pumpkin Pie Soda:
Bean: has a bit of pumpkin spice smell. (d)sick and digusting, but i've had much worse tonight.
Evan: (d)i dunno, there's something there that's almost pumpkin pie, but there's so many things that are so off, part of it is like diet sprite that's been sitting out for a week.
Erik: (d)towards the end it starts tasting like a pie, but that's just disgusting.
That's all nine of them (Turkey & Gravy was in both the National and Regional packs). Some had mildly accurate flavors (Pecan Pie, Salmon), One was decent enough to actually drink (Cranberry), but others were so off, I have no idea what they were thinking. Others were so bland, they had almost no flavor, but half of them were so sickenly sweet, it was as if they couldn't figure some out, so they decided that the sweetness would mask it. We had them at room temp. cause I wasn't sure if they should be chilled, or considering the flavors, heated.
At least, the profits of this go to charity, Jones soda is donating procedes from the sales of these packs to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, and Toys for Tots. If reading this has perked your interest, you still may be able to find these packs at stores. The National Pack is carried by Target. You can find retailers of the Regional Pack here.
These were tested in no particular order (i.e. Spin the Bottle):
Wild Herb Stuffing Soda:
Evan: It actually smells kinda good.(drinks) I don't even know. (another drink) Oh no... oh god! It has this aftertaste that kicks you ass!
Erik: (d)Oh that is putrid! Oh my god! That's Horrible.
Bean:It does smell good.(d) Ugh. It's pretty weak. It's tastes like watered down crap.
Pecan Pie Soda:
Erik: (d) It's not bad, it's just strong.
Evan:oo, smells like maple syrup. (d) I could probably drink this.
Bean: (d) Not bad. Tastes like maple and honey. Too overpowering, too sweet.
Smoked Salmon Paté Soda:
Bean: Not a strong smell, little bit of salmon. (d) Oh, Oh, sick. It does taste like salmon, like sweet, sweet salmon.
Erik: (d)Ugh, Oh my god. Ugh Ugh. That is horrible! Ugh. It won't go away!
Evan: (d)Tastes like p**sy. Ha. No, that is foul. That is disgusting.
Broccoli Casserole Soda:
Evan: Okay, this one I know i'm gonna puke on. (d)(gag)At first, i thought this wasn't bad, but then it tasted like my feet smell when i don't take a shower for a week. Like Kreugar's b**ls smell.
Erik: (d) (face of disgust)
Bean: Oh, it tastes like the (Harry Potter) Vomit jelly bean, except much, much sweeter.
Cranberry Soda:
Erik: smells good. (d) that's really, really good.
Bean: (d)that's not bad. This could be like a non-alcoholic spumante.
Evam: (d)it's not bad. tastes like juice from a dollar store.
Turkey & Gravy Soda:
Bean: smells like cardboard.(d)ugh, tastes like sweet, gravy soaked cardboard.
Evan: (d) oh... god. disgusting.
Erik: smells like the cleaning chemicals from school when somebody puked.(d)(long pause)alright, that was nasty.(ran to bathroom)
Corn on the cob Soda:
Evan: Definitely does not smell like corn on the cob. (d)it tastes really watery, except for this really gross flavor, just a little bit.
Erik:smells like lemon candy. (d) yeah, you're right.
Bean: tastes like some lemon starburst sat in a jar of water for a week and i drank that.
Brussels sprout Soda:
Erik: Oh my god, no, no, this is the worst of all of them! (d) (ran to bathroom, spat out on sink)oh my god. good luck with that one!
Evan: Oh... my god, that is a powerful stench. This is puke factor. This is instinctually bad, like cave men would've smelled this and said "no way."(d) oh my god. just take it. just take it away. it's so sweet and disgusting. like the other one times 10. oh my god.
Bean: it smells like really super sweet, fried, almost burnt, butter.(d)(cough, gag, drool)
Pumpkin Pie Soda:
Bean: has a bit of pumpkin spice smell. (d)sick and digusting, but i've had much worse tonight.
Evan: (d)i dunno, there's something there that's almost pumpkin pie, but there's so many things that are so off, part of it is like diet sprite that's been sitting out for a week.
Erik: (d)towards the end it starts tasting like a pie, but that's just disgusting.
That's all nine of them (Turkey & Gravy was in both the National and Regional packs). Some had mildly accurate flavors (Pecan Pie, Salmon), One was decent enough to actually drink (Cranberry), but others were so off, I have no idea what they were thinking. Others were so bland, they had almost no flavor, but half of them were so sickenly sweet, it was as if they couldn't figure some out, so they decided that the sweetness would mask it. We had them at room temp. cause I wasn't sure if they should be chilled, or considering the flavors, heated.
At least, the profits of this go to charity, Jones soda is donating procedes from the sales of these packs to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, and Toys for Tots. If reading this has perked your interest, you still may be able to find these packs at stores. The National Pack is carried by Target. You can find retailers of the Regional Pack here.