"You think I'm a queer? I think you're a queer."

[jdedrnbowcarnag]

So tonight, a man in West Chester told me I deserved to have my "fag body" thrown into a meat grinder, and I have been crying since 9:45 because of it.

Comments

[blood_thunder]

Hi, I'm a friend of Marc's.

I am 31 and have been out as queer to my parents since I was 13 and to the world since I was 16.

This is going to sound much, much more trite than I mean it to sound, but this is what has worked for me: The only thing I can do is make a world for myself in my heart and in my community where those kinds of words don't hurt as much. I choose to live in a place in my heart where I can let ignorant people slide off me like cooking spray on tefflon. That is not to dismiss the fact that queer people are sometimes in real danger, but that won't change in our lifetimes, if ever. There will ALWAYS be racism, homophobia, intolerance turned to violence. ALWAYS.

The only things we can actually actively work for are taking enough pride in ourselves to rise ABOVE the ignorance and hate and making sure we are protected by public social policy. We can also keep ourselves safe by being aware of our surroundings.

But in terms of hurtful words? There will always be words. I get them constantly. Not only am I queer, but I am also a Jew and a former "fat" person. People say things in my presence all the time without knowing that they're insulting me. I usually say something to let them know they're out of line, but I say it quietly and politely and they end up feeling really stupid and embarrased. Letting someone know how ignorant they are without saying it directly works wonders. It sounds like the situation you were in might not have been a good time for that, but you get the idea.

I don't know how much this helps, but just remember that guy who said that is a stupid fool...that's all. He's an ignoramus who makes himself look bad by displaying how little he knows. When I hear things like that, it doesn't even hurt me anymore because what the heck do I care what a foolish ape like that thinks of me? Try not to let it get to you. It takes practice, I know - but you'll get there.