note to self

[jdecro]

i remember i was five,first time i met her it was snowing and we built a snowman.i cant believe i remembered this.ive been having these sort of flashback dreams lately and it reminds me of thoughts i once forgot (i posted a few of the funny ones in myspace) it makes me want to know,whatever happened to her,my best friend when i was little,the one who lost interest in me when she went to junior high...well it wasnt her fault,it was her mom's. my dad and her mom had a feud.whatever.her name was Cynthia Rosenbuam (or was it Rosenthal?) i wonder how she is now,is she fat like her sister and mom? i remember she wasnt,that was weird.i remember her sister went to South Shore HS to become a nurse.once we found this cat and we couldnt keep it in my house cause my dad got pissed off so she kept it,we named him Bing cause of some stupid book i read back then and i liked the name lol.then they moved and some annoying black people moved in who were always arguing crying or having loud sex.i remember i saw her once again when Billy Diab brought her back in the nieghborhood.that kid was a prick.i spent 2/3rds of my life there,my mom always said i was miserable,but i remember life was pretty decent before junior high.before the nieghborhood started changing.
i remember back then i wanted to go to catholic school when i hit 6th grade cause i was scared of Bildersee,my dad wouldnt let me and Bildersee was as bad as people said,im not gonna go into that but thats basically when life stopped being so decent,thats when the nieghborhood started to change =P
eh,basically im just asking myself,if i could start over,what would i change? if i changed it would i be the same? would things be the same? i keep thinking,as most people do i guess,"if i could go back with the knowledge i have now" type of thing.