Fuck this is hilarious - with no offense intended

[jdd]

DARE To Be Groupies Stats
Formed: 29th April 2007 Split: 31st July 2013 Best Album: ‘Bryony Lexemic Schemer Patrols’ 5/10 in the NME Best Single: ‘Hedged’ 8/10 in the NME (Single of the Week 28th November 2008.) Records Sold: 641,624 in total (300,844 albums, 340,780 singles). Reputation: Under-rated Groupies: gothmother’s Messianic Complex is getting out of hand. Recently they forced cjmurderdoll to sign up to their ‘Cocks For Christ’ campaign at knifepoint. Other In a press release DARE To Be Groupies manager jdd responded to recent
criticism over the band’s song ‘Alts Footings Pendent’ by calling the general public a bunch of tone deaf cunts.
DARE To Be Groupies Member Profiles

jdd

When 100 people were asked to provide a statement describing jdd talents, 99 responded
by saying that listening to jdd was like ’shagging a cactus’
razorbladexkiss

Things are looking particularly grim for razorbladexkiss after Bono mentioned that the DARE To Be Groupies guitarist was an influence to both him and U2. razorbladexkiss is now a suicidal wreck. tatakuatama

It is fair to say that tatakuatama is a stroppy old bastard. They’ve threatened to pack DARE To Be Groupies in after they received a death threat from the ghost of Mother Thersea who reportedly said in a whispered tone “I’m trying to rest in piece here yer prick! Cut with the bollocks before I smear yer pod in shite!” cjmurderdoll

cjmurderdoll made Moe Tucker seem like the bastion of rhythm.
wikkedmickey

wikkedmickey is to a keyboard what the Pope is to sexual liberty. A bastardin menace.
Single Releases
# Title Date 27 Eaglet Limonene Balmier Repasses Busbar Posture Jul 2007 37 Alts Footings Pendent Aug 2007 78 Goggly Foozler Nov 2007 61 Plisse Elodea Mottoes Schism Inarches Bracing Dec 2007 32 Abaser Upclimbs Violated Twiglike Cobbier Nov 2008 21 Hedged Nov 2008 20 Tore Misacts Ordainer Editions Oolite Tinnitus Jan 2009 16 Numbles Potlines Prunus Apr 2009 9 Atomizer Curst Gushing Venously Scarier Midspace Jul 2010 6 Straggly Elated Arrogant Sienite Oct 2010 14 Retinol Maillots Preed Sepoys Drumlike Filmsets Dec 2010 13 Heptane Redial Overbite Upswept Holism Dec 2011 20 Swoon Gapping Mar 2012 16 Afore Covertly Kaif Aglitter Teethed Steamers Mar 2012 19 Cocobolo Thraw Grimaced Cyanids Jun 2012
Album Releases
# Title Date 36 Bryony Lexemic Schemer Patrols Apr 2007 66 Dactyls Canker Sep 2008 11 Enceinte Pashadom Widest May 2010 15 Scarper Opiumism Boracite Nov 2011
northern ireland’s worst