(no subject)
ok, so i never realized exactly how many people have my space, and as
sad as this is, i caved...thanks jon...asshole.. so yesterday was my
trip to san francisco with scott.. weather was shitty, but it was still
nice to get away. we went to san fran first got lost for awhile, drove
down the 1 and i wanted to jump out of the car and run down to the
water...i long to be in the ocean..i told my mom i wish they made
waterproof music players, cause then i would get one and an oxygen tank
and sink to the bottom of the ocean and stay there... i also told her i
wanted to go hang gliding with my music cause it would feel like im
flying/soaring in the sky..im still a mess inside, i laid in my bed
crying for about an hour last night because im unhappy and i cant for
the life of me figure out why...i know its not pms or anything, im just
getting really depressed and its really unlike me. anyway, back to my
trip yeterday. after san fran, we went to berkely and met visited a
couple of his friends then grabbed dinner.. went to go back to sac and
realized we had to pay to go across the damned bay bridge again.. we
didnt have any cash, but we got lucky, he just has to send the toll in
instead of getting like a ticket or anything.. we left sac around noon
and got back at like 9:30, so we were gone the majority of the day...i
hated coming back, like i knew i would, i just want to run sometimes,
away from everything and never come back..just keep on running.. i also
told my mom that sometimes i think i would be better if i was alone,
not just living alone but if i didnt build relationships anymore..i get
hurt everytime i build one...i should just get my little 3 legged
kitten(dont ask) and move to the ocean...