(no subject)
Application for Emo!Dalek.
What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?
I HAVE NEV-ER TAS-TED CHEESE. I HAVE AL-WAYS WAN-TED TO TRY FOOD, BUT MY PRO-GRAM-MING WOULD NOT ALL-OW IT. MY IN-TER-NAL DA-TA COM-PIL-A-TION TELLS ME THAT YOU NEED TO EAT TO STAY A-LIVE. DOES THIS MEAN THAT I DO NOT LIVE? DO I EV-EN EXIST? HOW CAN I LIVE?
Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
*whirrs and bleeps* RUN-NING SCAN OF DATA BANKS. BAR-NEY: A MOR-ONIC PUR-PLE DINO-SAUR WITH AN ANN-OY-ING VOICE. CARROTTOP: A FAIL-ED COMED-IAN WITH NO PROS-PECTS AND AN OFF-END-ING HAIR-COLOUR. SCENARIO SCAN COMPLETED.
MY DATA BANKS TELL ME THAT THEY ARE NOT DA-LEK. BY ALL RIGHTS THEY SHOULD BE EX-TER-MIN-AT-ED. YET…I CAN-NOT KILL ANY-MORE. I CAN-NOT EX-TER-MIN-ATE. WHAT IS MY PUR-POSE IF I CAN-NOT KILL? I AM THE LAST OF THE DA-LEKS! I HAVE FAIL-ED. THE DA-LEKS DID NOT SUR-VIVE. WE DID NOT COM-PLETE OUR GREAT CON-QUEST. WE HAVE FAIL-ED. I AM A-LONE.
What time is it where you are?
16:42:13, 14, 15, 16, 17... TIME SEEMS SO POINT-LESS. IT IS EAS-ILY CHAN-GED, AND WE WILL ALL FAIL IN THE END. WHY SHOULD WE RECORD OUR FAIL-URE?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I WOULD NOT CON-TAM-IN-ATE MY-SELF BY TOUCH-ING A HU-MAN. BE-SIDES. MY CAS-ING DEN-IES ME TOUCH. I SHALL NEV-ER FEEL THE SKIN OF ANO-THER ON MY FLESH. I SHALL NEV-ER EX-PER-IENCE CON-TACT.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
“SUR-VIV-OR” PER-HAPS AT MY BAR WE COULD HAVE AN OPEN MIKE NIGHT AND PO-ET-RY RE-CI-TALS? I HAVE WRITTEN SOME PO-ET-RY. I COULD AL-SO PLAY GOOD BANDS LIKE “THE CURE”, “JOY DI-VI-SION” , “COLD-PLAY”, “RAD-IO HEAD”AND “MORR-I-SEY” I ALSO WANT TO SING “BE-CAUSE WE WANT TO. BE-CAUSE WE WANT TO.” ….DAMN YOU ROSE TY-LER.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
MY DA-TA FROM ROSE TY-LER TELLS ME THAT HE SHOULD MARR-Y THE ONE HE LOVES MOST. BUT HOW DO WE KNOW THAT LOVE EX-ISTS? MAY-BE WE JUST ARE. THERE IS NO PUR-POSE TO LIFE. LOVE IS NOT REAL. WHO THEN WILL HE MARR-Y? PER-HAPS IT IS EA-SI-ER JUST TO END LIFE, AND NOT HAVE THIS DI-LEMM-A. IF HE CAN-NOT LOVE, HE CAN-NOT MARR-Y, AND ALL HE WILL HAVE IS PAIN. IT IS BETTER TO END HIM-SELF NOW, AND SAVE HIM-SELF THE TROUB-LE. THEN HE WON’T END UP A-LONE.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
IT IS BE-CAUSE YOU ARE AN IN-FE-RIOR SPECIES. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE POWER OF THE DA-LEKS. WE COULD DEAL WITH THIS PA-PER-WORK. YOU ARE IN-COM-PE-TANT. WE ARE- *pauses* WERE A GREAT RACE. WE WERE SU-PE-RIOR.
Hufflepuff: Prove that you are not useless.
I AM A SU-PE-RIOR LIFE-FORM AND HAVE BEEN THE CAUSE OF UN-TOLD NUM-BERS OF DEATHS. I AM ALSO THE LAST OF MY SPE-CIES. I A-LONE SUR-VIV-ED. I AM THE LAST DA-LEK.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
CRE-AT-ING A LIST OF ASS-ETS. DA-TA ASS-EM-BLED.
I COULD BE YOUR FRIEND. WOULD YOU BE MY FRIEND?
I HAVE COM-PIL-ED SOME DA-LEK PO-ETRY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR SOME?
I HAVE ACCESS TO THE EN-TIRE IN-TER-NET. I KNOW EV-ER-Y-THING.
I HAVE SU-PE-RIOR TECH-NO-LO-GY TO YOU HU-MANS AND OTH-ER SUB-SPECIES. PER-HAPS I COULD AD-VANCE YOUR PRI-MI-TIVE TECH-NO-LO-GY?
What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?
I HAVE NEV-ER TAS-TED CHEESE. I HAVE AL-WAYS WAN-TED TO TRY FOOD, BUT MY PRO-GRAM-MING WOULD NOT ALL-OW IT. MY IN-TER-NAL DA-TA COM-PIL-A-TION TELLS ME THAT YOU NEED TO EAT TO STAY A-LIVE. DOES THIS MEAN THAT I DO NOT LIVE? DO I EV-EN EXIST? HOW CAN I LIVE?
Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
*whirrs and bleeps* RUN-NING SCAN OF DATA BANKS. BAR-NEY: A MOR-ONIC PUR-PLE DINO-SAUR WITH AN ANN-OY-ING VOICE. CARROTTOP: A FAIL-ED COMED-IAN WITH NO PROS-PECTS AND AN OFF-END-ING HAIR-COLOUR. SCENARIO SCAN COMPLETED.
MY DATA BANKS TELL ME THAT THEY ARE NOT DA-LEK. BY ALL RIGHTS THEY SHOULD BE EX-TER-MIN-AT-ED. YET…I CAN-NOT KILL ANY-MORE. I CAN-NOT EX-TER-MIN-ATE. WHAT IS MY PUR-POSE IF I CAN-NOT KILL? I AM THE LAST OF THE DA-LEKS! I HAVE FAIL-ED. THE DA-LEKS DID NOT SUR-VIVE. WE DID NOT COM-PLETE OUR GREAT CON-QUEST. WE HAVE FAIL-ED. I AM A-LONE.
What time is it where you are?
16:42:13, 14, 15, 16, 17... TIME SEEMS SO POINT-LESS. IT IS EAS-ILY CHAN-GED, AND WE WILL ALL FAIL IN THE END. WHY SHOULD WE RECORD OUR FAIL-URE?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I WOULD NOT CON-TAM-IN-ATE MY-SELF BY TOUCH-ING A HU-MAN. BE-SIDES. MY CAS-ING DEN-IES ME TOUCH. I SHALL NEV-ER FEEL THE SKIN OF ANO-THER ON MY FLESH. I SHALL NEV-ER EX-PER-IENCE CON-TACT.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
“SUR-VIV-OR” PER-HAPS AT MY BAR WE COULD HAVE AN OPEN MIKE NIGHT AND PO-ET-RY RE-CI-TALS? I HAVE WRITTEN SOME PO-ET-RY. I COULD AL-SO PLAY GOOD BANDS LIKE “THE CURE”, “JOY DI-VI-SION” , “COLD-PLAY”, “RAD-IO HEAD”AND “MORR-I-SEY” I ALSO WANT TO SING “BE-CAUSE WE WANT TO. BE-CAUSE WE WANT TO.” ….DAMN YOU ROSE TY-LER.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
MY DA-TA FROM ROSE TY-LER TELLS ME THAT HE SHOULD MARR-Y THE ONE HE LOVES MOST. BUT HOW DO WE KNOW THAT LOVE EX-ISTS? MAY-BE WE JUST ARE. THERE IS NO PUR-POSE TO LIFE. LOVE IS NOT REAL. WHO THEN WILL HE MARR-Y? PER-HAPS IT IS EA-SI-ER JUST TO END LIFE, AND NOT HAVE THIS DI-LEMM-A. IF HE CAN-NOT LOVE, HE CAN-NOT MARR-Y, AND ALL HE WILL HAVE IS PAIN. IT IS BETTER TO END HIM-SELF NOW, AND SAVE HIM-SELF THE TROUB-LE. THEN HE WON’T END UP A-LONE.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
IT IS BE-CAUSE YOU ARE AN IN-FE-RIOR SPECIES. YOU DO NOT HAVE THE POWER OF THE DA-LEKS. WE COULD DEAL WITH THIS PA-PER-WORK. YOU ARE IN-COM-PE-TANT. WE ARE- *pauses* WERE A GREAT RACE. WE WERE SU-PE-RIOR.
Hufflepuff: Prove that you are not useless.
I AM A SU-PE-RIOR LIFE-FORM AND HAVE BEEN THE CAUSE OF UN-TOLD NUM-BERS OF DEATHS. I AM ALSO THE LAST OF MY SPE-CIES. I A-LONE SUR-VIV-ED. I AM THE LAST DA-LEK.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
CRE-AT-ING A LIST OF ASS-ETS. DA-TA ASS-EM-BLED.
I COULD BE YOUR FRIEND. WOULD YOU BE MY FRIEND?
I HAVE COM-PIL-ED SOME DA-LEK PO-ETRY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR SOME?
I HAVE ACCESS TO THE EN-TIRE IN-TER-NET. I KNOW EV-ER-Y-THING.
I HAVE SU-PE-RIOR TECH-NO-LO-GY TO YOU HU-MANS AND OTH-ER SUB-SPECIES. PER-HAPS I COULD AD-VANCE YOUR PRI-MI-TIVE TECH-NO-LO-GY?