Comments | jd_lit: Reduction - March

jd_lit

Reduction - March - 3/6

Mar 07, 2006 20:39

Title: Reduction - March (3/6)
Author: jadeddiva
Pairing: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks
Rating: STRONG PG-13
Summary: She has nothing save a weariness that rests on her shoulders from hours of work and little sleep, and a sour taste in the back of her mouth, a bitterness she has never tasted before. January - June 1997 in the life of Nymphadora ( Read more... )

remus/tonks, pg-13, reduction series, harry potter

Comments 5

penelope_weaver March 8 2006, 18:21:03 UTC

I had already read this all the way through before I realized how long it was. You made me lose track! I really like this; I think you've stayed very true to the characters and the events of HBP. Tonks's disgust and shame over the one-night stand, and her self-loathing introspection made me hurt, and you've portrayed it all very realistically.

One nitpicky bit though: the expression is to pore over a book. Not pour. :-)

jadeddiva March 8 2006, 23:45:37 UTC

Thanks! I'll fix that.

joely_jo March 8 2006, 21:03:02 UTC

Of course, you had me with the Radiohead... but once I'd got over that, this is really lovely. I have to say that I'm enjoying this series you're doing immensely, and I hope you can sustain the momentum right the way through the 'year'.

If you ever need a beta-in-reserve, I'm happy to oblige. :) Couple of things I picked up on here were Remus's use of the phrase 'what I am... and all', which sounds very American college girl rather than straight-laced Englishman! Also, you use 'gotten' and 'mussed up', which are both American phrases.

But, these are so tiny and really don't detract from the quality of your prose at all. Great job!

jadeddiva March 8 2006, 23:45:18 UTC

Thank you :) I am enjoying this series too, because it's just fun (even if it's horrible for our beloved couple) because I love Tonks so...

I will definitely take you up on that offer - I just got very enthusiastic and wanted to post, but didn't want to burden Claire with another thing to read! So what would you recommend instead of "mussed up"?

joely_jo March 9 2006, 07:15:55 UTC

Geez! I'm never enthusiastic to post. I spend all my time bloody worrying that it's fit for other eyes!

As the 'mussed up', I would probably just substitute with 'messy' or 'wild hair'... perhaps even 'bed-head'.