Fic: A General, an Archeologist and a Chaplain Walk into a Room (2/2)
Title: A General, an Archeologist and a Chaplain Walk into a Room
Author: justhuman
Summary: Jack and Daniel waited out DODT and DOMA. Can they survive premarital counseling.
Word Count: 11,775
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We'd have seen Jack and Daniel married in canon if I owned the Gate franchise. No infringement intended.
Written For: padfootthegrim
Prompt: Humor and an unbreakable marriage ceremony. Optional Request: NC-17. No non-con or OOC Jack or Daniel.
Notes: Many thanks to catspaw_sgjd for her quick and thoughtful beta. I did some rewriting without her, so as always, it's all my fault
Timeline notes in Part I
There was some initial confusion and some explaining to the newcomers about why there was confusion. Finally Grossman took the bride from one couple and the groom from the next so that the two groups only had half of each couple. Normally the Pulaski's and Lincolns would have split along gender lines too, so there was some more confusion as Mrs. Lincoln and Major Pulaski joined Jack's group and their partners landed with Daniel's group.
Then there was some silence, because neither the Major nor the Mrs. knew were to start with a mixed gender group. Finally Grossman tossed out a conversation starter that got the ball rolling.
Not that Jack would have chosen to be there, but it wasn't so bad. As the topic rolled through things like holidays with the in-laws and going to bed angry, they even welcomed Jack's comments about how he and Sara had handled those kinds of things. Hell, even Grossman was looking more relaxed.
"Uhm, General?" Jack looked to his right where Airman Newburgh was looking nervous.
"Yeah."
"It's been great hearing the successful strategies that you, the Lincolns and the Pulaski's have used. And, I know were not supposed to quiz, but…"
"Newburgh, just ask," Jack said, rubbing his eyes.
"What didn't work? I mean you got divorced."
There was a rush in Jack's head as events flooded back to him. Saying he was divorced was one thing, but looking back at the cause ripped into him like a knife, reopening a wound that should have had a tougher scar after all these years.
Sergeant Driscoll asked, "Was it because you were gay and married to a woman?"
Jack could only look at him, because nothing was coming out of his mouth. The room was suddenly a lot quieter because the group on the other side of the room had stopped talking too. Finally Jack found his voice. "You want to know why I got divorced?"
Grossman stepped up, "General O'Neill, you don't have to discuss that."
Newburgh and Driscoll were both apologizing, and then Daniel was standing behind him. He leaned down and whispered in Jack's ear. "You don't have to, Jack."
When Jack looked up, he saw all the strength and power in Daniel's eyes that had always been there. Then he took in a breath. "Yeah, I do. Chaplain, I noticed something about your forms. It's got parts talking about how to deal with long deployments and all sorts of other things that the military makes dependents go through. It doesn't have a section talking about things like weapons kept at home."
Grossman was stymied. Daniel's hand on Jack's shoulder became firmer.
Driscoll opened his mouth again and Jack waved a hand before could ask whatever he was going to ask. "I had retired at one point in my career. I was home with my wife and my eight-year-old son, Charlie." He had to pause and pull in a breath to push the emotions back down.
Before he lost his nerve, Jack went on. "Everything was fine and damn near perfect. One day Charlie found my service revolver and-" All the air had gone out of Jack's lungs for a second, but Daniel was with him, grounding him. "And he accidentally shot himself."
Now Jack had the attention of the entire room and he really wished they would go away and leave him with Daniel. Then he really looked at the room and saw all the young couples with pie in the sky dreams and knew that he shouldn't have sent them crashing back to earth.
"Sorry, Grossman," Jack said and stood up. "This communication thing that we've been talking about; my wife and I didn't do that for a while. Then when she was ready to try, I had no idea how to anymore. I think we're just going to-"
Jack led the way out the door, sliding on his cover as the stepped out into the too bright sunshine.
From behind him, Jack could hear Daniel shooing Grossman back into the building with the main group. Just as quickly, Daniel moved back to his side.
"Jack, are you okay?" Daniel asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," Jack said
"No you're not," Daniel snapped.
"What!" It was completely amazing to Jack how Daniel did that. Reasonable, sane and intelligent in one sentence and a complete pain in the ass the next.
"Jack!"
"Daniel!"
"I know how hard it is for you to talk about Charlie." There was something aggressive yet sympathetic in Daniel's tone. Jack wasn't sure what to do with it, but decided to try and calm down anyway.
"I think I've made considerable progress on my ability to talk on this topic compared to the first time we talked about it."
"Well, yes," Daniel said. "There weren't a lot of directions to go from there except up, Jack."
Jack scratched at the back of his head as he paced around. "Ye-ah." Then he stopped and pointed at the door. "They're damn nosy in there. Or, maybe I do over-share."
Daniel looked at the door and then Jack. "They're just the first ones that'll be curious about us."
"I see what you're saying but could you not go there right now?"
"Why?
"Because I might have to admit that someone in the Pentagon was using his brain and had a point. You know, someone besides me."
Daniel sat on the wall of a planter bed lining the walk and smiled at Jack. "So what do we do to make this work?"
What should they do? Jack paused to think about it. Then he started pacing again. "I have no idea. Well, that's not true, but my ideas are not very practical and that's coming from me."
"Then we're doomed because I come up with even more impractical ideas than you do," Daniel said.
"Yes you do, and I've had the headaches over every last one of them to prove it."
"Only the ones that you argued with me over."
"So what you're saying is that the key to communication between us is that I should just agree with you," Jack said with a smile.
"Yes, just like I should just assume you're right," Daniel said with a laugh. "No, you shouldn't just agree with me; I actually count on you to argue with me. It makes things more interesting."
"I want to be married to you. You know that whole thing in there, when you were touching me in front of other people? I like that." Jack willed some of the tension leave his body. "Overall, I pretty much like you."
Daniel had poked his tongue between his lips and then pulled it back in, closing his mouth tight. Jack could see that he was fighting a smile and that was good, because there had been enough drama in he room.
"Like me," Daniel said slowly. "That's good, Jack. You know, with the whole marriage thing. Most days I like you, when you're not being an overbearing part of the military machine. There are some days when I think that I might love you. But, you know, it's only a might."
Jack sat down next to Daniel, shaking his head. "Nope."
"Nope?"
"It's not love. You're just being overwhelmed by my astonishingly good looks or maybe it's gas from eating at the mess or something."
Daniel nodded. "Gastrointestinal issues from the mess are a strong possibility."
"Are we really ready to do this?" Jack asked. "I mean those people are just the top of the iceberg. Four-star was right about what the media; they're going to hound us."
Daniel face and body language said that he was trying to solve a puzzle. The problem as that he was looking at Jack.
"We talked about all that when we decided we were going to get married. Yes, there's a reasonably high probability that the press may decide we're interesting. But the media has the attention span of a two-year-old and it wouldn't last long. Hell, we spend so much time in secure facilities that they'd probably become bored trying to stalk us. Jack, you're the one that was saying that."
"Okay yes, and I still think that's a valid assessment. I didn't think every random person that we ran into would be questioning us." Jack pointed at the door.
"Not that I think it was good in there, but they're not exactly a random crowd since they were here to talk about marriage just like us. Jack, what's eating you?"
"Look at us, out here. We didn't even last in there long enough to get to the part of the questionnaire that we were going to argue about."
"There were some good disagreements in there," Daniel said.
"Where we're going to live?"
"Whose career we'd be willing to move for? Are those the things that are bugging you?"
Jack wasn't sure he wanted to answer that yet, so he asked, "Did you put anything in the section about the in-laws, not that either of us has in-laws?"
Daniel looked him for a second or two and then said, "Kind of - I used Sam and Teal'c as our in-laws and Mitchell as my brother."
"You're not related to him," Jack said.
"We're not related to Sam or Teal'c either, if you want to be technical. What is your problem with Mitchell?"
"I don’t have a problem with Mitchell."
"Then why isn't he family like Sam and Teal'c?"
"Well maybe I didn't have a problem with him when we had our last career disagreement. You know, when I was going to DC and you were going on assignment-" Jack paused. They should be having this kind of conversation in the Mountain. "When you were going far, far away. When we were trying to pretend that this thing we have was a fine thing when were living in the same state, but would fade when we were apart."
"Nothing faded," Daniel said and then he screwed up his entire face. "What does that have to do with Mitchell?"
Jack held out both arms, indicating how obvious the issue was. "Instead of going far, far away you ended up traipsing into the unknown with Mitchell and his team - you know, what you used to do with me until the powers that be decided that I'd had gotten old enough to promote me out of field work."
"First off, it's not my fault that I didn't go far, far away. It was Vala's fault."
"No, it-" Jack did a quick fact check in his head and then nodded. "Yes, it was."
"She's not a relative, by the way" Daniel said, and then he turned, facing Jack, and Jack could see a light bulb go off over Daniel's head.. "You're jealous of Mitchell? Now that's insane."
It was a dimwitted light bulb. "I'm not." Jack said.
Mitchell was a damn good officer and an excellent team leader. Jack never even thought twice about giving him the hard missions and knowing they would get done. He'd piss off the right people and charm the rest…
Jack had a vision of Mitchell's team. Sheppard was pointing a weapon at anything that moved, while McKay was typing into a laptop and Vala was swindling the nearest underworld character. Then there was Mitchell looking heroic and even though Daniel wasn't an official part of that team, he was standing next to Mitchell, pointing the way.
It wasn't like a light bulb went off over Jack's head, more like a fluorescent light buzzed to life. "Maybe I am a little jealous."
"I don't go far-far away with Mitchell anymore. The band broke up, again," Daniel said.
"Band?"
Daniel waved his hand. "It's a Mitchell thing."
"Oh, that makes me feel so much better," Jack said.
"Jack, do you really think that I'm interested in Mitchell?"
Jack thought about it a second and that wasn't it. He scuffed his heel against the sidewalk. "No, I don't, but it was a good distraction from going back in there."
"Jack, we are not the only ones that think this is a good idea," Daniel said.
"For what it's worth, I think you two have a shot."
Jack and Daniel looked up simultaneously.
"I'd apologize for eavesdropping, but it's kind of my job. Chaplain Lynch, if you don't recall from the introduction."
Jack had forgotten about Lynch after the introduction. He was older than Grossman and wore a Major's golden oak leaf, where Grossman had Captain's bars. Rank for Chaplains was more of an honorary than anything else, but it did reflect years on the job.
Lynch sat on the planter opposite Jack and Daniel. "I've been doing this kind of thing for years. Nowadays, I let the young guns do the group stuff, and lend a hand with the specific details."
Jack had to admit that Lynch was good. He was spinning the right words and attitude to get invited into the conversation. "You said something about us having a shot?"
Lynch nodded. "The ones that know they love each other always have a better shot than the ones that say they love each other." He leaned back, studying them. "You two seem to know how to talk to one another. The only question after that is can you agree on anything. Also, it helps if you're both headed in the same general direction."
"Forgive me for being cynical, but aren't you going to hassle us over the gay marriage part of this conversation?" Daniel asked.
"Geez, Daniel!" Jack wondered what the hell he was going on in his head.
"Jack, do you think he just noticed we're both men because I said it?"
"If I had a problem with it, I would have let you walk away. Now ask me to preside at your wedding, and I can't help you. The Presbyterians are in a tizzy, trying to decide what to do, so my hands are tied. I just think that if people are going to get married they should try to stay that way," Lynch said.
"That's an excellent plan, barring all the MIA scenarios," Jack glared at Daniel, who glared right back. You know, there were no MIA or POW questions on that questionnaire either."
"General, this apparently will surprise you, but most people getting married, tend to focus on the happily ever after part, instead of writing wills," Lynch said.
"Hey, Daniel, there's a surprise. I'm the one that seems to focus on death more. Why do you suppose that is?" Jack said, letting the sarcasm flow free.
"Jack, I think I know where you are going with this. Do you want an official mourning period so you know when it's okay to move on?" Daniel asked.
Lynch held up a hand. "Gentlemen, I think maybe-"
Daniel interrupted, "Chaplain, I can see where you may think this is extreme, but we've both been MIA before. I've been presumed dead more than my fair share of times."
"What does that mean?" Lynch asked.
"Half-a-dozen times!" Jack answered.
"I think it was only five times," Daniel said.
"Daniel!"
"Okay, okay, it was too many times and that's the point."
"No, that's not the point," Jack insisted.
"Then what is the point?" Daniel shouted.
"My point is that I don't want to have to bury you," Jack said.
"Wait a minute," Daniel said and he lifted that finger in the air that made him look like a professor. To Jack it always carried a know-it-all air and Jack really didn't like when it was directed at him.
"You've got a problem with it being dangerous work, but it's all we did for the better part of a decade. You also seem to have reservations about Mitchell, but you tell me it's not jealousy. Since I spend some time with Mitchell's team, are you telling me that you don't think I'm safe enough? You're not active in the field, so I can't be active in the field?"
Wrong and Jack was just about to tell him that. He just ran the facts through his head. Then he cursed himself internally, because Daniel was right. Ready to take his lumps, he let out a breath and said, "I am aware that it makes me a complete hypocrite, but yes. I'd love for you to come home every night, wherever home might be. Do you have any advice on this one, Lynch?"
Lynch had pulled out a paperback book and was reading. "Nope you two are doing just fine."
Both of them frowned simultaneously at the chaplain and then at each other.
Daniel scratched at the back of his head. "Now that I'm not on a regular team rotation, I don't spend as much time in the field. I just - How can you even ask me to stop?"
"Because I'm completely selfish and even if you can handle a few more years with a long distance relationship, I don't want to. As you know, I had my reservations about leaving the field. Most of the time when they put another pile of paper in front of me, all I want to do is trade my pen in for an assault weapon."
Jack looked straight up, squinting into the sun and stretching I throat. Then he looked back at Daniel. "I don't know when it happened, but I found out that I like sleeping in a bed every night. It's not so bad to have dinner at home, and I don’t want to do it alone anymore. Just think back a couple of hours. When we got up this morning-"
"Jack, we shouldn't be making life decisions based on whether we woke up horny or not."
"Could you not talk about sex in front of the chaplain?" Jack shouted.
Lynch didn't look at them, but chimed in. "The Chaplain's married, and he thinks that a good sex life doesn't hurt anything."
Daniel went on, as if he hadn't heard Lynch. "You were just saying-"
"That I want to wake up every morning next to you whether or not our dicks will ever get up again," Jack said. He watched as Daniel moved his finger in the air, doing some kind of accounting.
"Are we still talking about field work?"
"I'm talking about where are we going to live. So I'm proposing that you come to live with me in DC - or we can move to the suburbs so you can be near a secure facility to do that work thing that you do. You know, the work that you do outside the field that keeps you locked in the Mountain to all hours of the night."
Even as Jack said the words, he knew they sounded like some crazy kind of dream. "Look, I know that you'll have to come back to the Mountain periodically and that field duty happens. But-" Jack was on his feet, pacing off nervous energy.
"What about you retiring and moving back to Colorado?" Daniel asked.
It wasn't an attack, but an option, so Jack took it that way. "I always thought about retiring in Minnesota full time."
"No."
"You love going fishing with me at the cabin," Jack said.
"Jack, no one but you loves fishing at the cabin. I love spending time with you there. I mean that, but there is no way in hell that I'm live in the cabin year-round. It barely has cell phone reception, let alone neighbors."
"The lack of neighbors is a huge advantage, and we do have satellite TV."
"Jack!" Daniel shouted and then he moved in his seat, like he couldn't decide whether to get up or not. "Jack," he said more calmly. "Let's think about compromising. For instance, we both love Chicago. Why don't we think about retiring there? I wouldn't go stir crazy, and we'd only be a day's drive from the cabin. We could visit."
Jack thought about it for a minute. It was a good plan and the only disappointing part was that he hadn't thought of it first. "Can I get season tickets for the Cubs?"
"Only if you don't drag me to every game," Daniel said.
"Sold," Jack said. "Now that we know where we're going to retire, what are we going to live in the meantime?"
"I was serious, couldn't you do your thing from the Mountain?"
"I represent the Mountain to all those other people in Washington that keep trying to cut its budget. And then there's that project I'm practically running out of my office. In fact, it's in the reception area of my office - the one that's taking place far, far, far away. Trying to change the long distance plan would be rough. It's more involved than banging a couple of stones together." Jack said.
He hoped that Daniel would recognize that he couldn't disrupt communications with the team on the Ancient ship Destiny. Having a secure place where people using the Ancient communication stones could have immediate access to the IOA and command was critical.
"True," Daniel said and then his face became thoughtful. "Just clarifying. Jack, that project you were just talking about. It's the one with the things, right?"
Jack blinked. "Things? I could say yes, but how can I be sure we're talking about the same things?"
"You know, the things," Daniel said, extending his hand as if he were holding something.
"I could take a walk, gentlemen if you need to talk about things above my clearance," Lynch offered.
Jack looked Daniel up and down. "Nah, we're talking about the same things."
"Jack, what if I worked on that project? I mean the things, lead to other things that are right up my alley," Daniel said. "I know first hand that it's not without its risks, because there was that time with Vala. Overall as far as risk goes, it's a walk in the park."
For a second, Jack was trying to piece it together and then in his head and then he saw Daniel exploring the Destiny from the safety of Jack's outer office. "You'd do that? You'd move to DC to do that? We should do that!" There'd be a hell of a long talk about what the person borrowing Daniel's body with the Ancient communications stones would be allowed to do, but this was workable.
"Then we have a place to live," Daniel said.
"We do," Jack agreed. "Now we have to suck it up and go back in there to get whatever damn certificate they give, so we can get married."
Lynch pulled a folded piece of paper from his book, "No you don't."
"You're trying to spare us the nosy inquiries?" Daniel asked.
"If I let you back in there, I give it five minutes before one of you changes the subject to disability, dismemberment and/or death. I'm trying to spare Grossman," Lynch said.
"That's very kind of you," Jack said as he took a few steps forward and reached for the paper that Lynch suddenly pulled back.
"Not so fast. You dealt with your thoughts on social pressures, careers, leisure time, and religion, such as it is. We still have at least one hard to discuss topic to cover.
"Finances," Daniel guessed on the heels of Jack's guess of, "Which way to put the toilet paper roll on."
"Toilet paper? Jack, really?"
"It's symbolic of how we'd like the house to be run."
"Oh, household issues like not leaving take out Chinese in the refrigerator for a month," Daniel said.
"Or leaving dirty socks on the floor, ever," Jack countered.
"Gentlemen, I have confidence that you have the skills to tackle those tough situations," Lynch said. "Let's move onto a topic that always manages to cause a ruckus. Have you given any thought to birth control?"
*** Six Months Later ***
There was a single knock on Jack's office door to which Jack automatically answered, "Come."
"I was told to report to you, sir."
Jack looked up from his paperwork and Daniel was standing at attention in front of him. Correction. It was Daniel's body, but it contained the consciousness of one of the crewmembers from Destiny.
"Name." In a fluid motion, Jack spun in his chair, snatched a framed photo off his desk and got to his feet.
"Airman Darren Becker, sir!"
"At ease, Airman. Do you know whose body you're in?"
Becker gracefully moved from attention, spreading his feet and tucking his hands behind his back. "Dr. Daniel Jackson, sir."
"Take a look at this." Jack pushed the photo forward, forcing Becker to grab it in Daniel's hands.
"It looks like a wedding photo, sir."
"That's because it is," Jack said. "Left hand."
"Left hand?"
"Show me you're left hand Airman."
Daniel's hand came up and the occupant of Daniel's body studied it.
"See that ring? I put that ring on that finger just a few minutes before they took this picture," Jack said and looked fondly at the picture. He was in his dress uniform, standing next to Daniel in a tux - a fine example of them being completely different but somehow on the same page. He loved this picture.
"Uh, sir?" Pseudo-Daniel prompted.
"What?"
"You just looked distracted, sir. Could, could I put my, I mean, his hand down?"
"Oh, sure," Jack said. "I just wanted to call you in, welcome you back to Earth, Airman Becker." Jack sat on the edge of his desk. "So what were you hoping to do with my husband's body? I'm just a little curious. I want to make sure you weren't planning on skydiving and that you feed it enough coffee."
"Coffee, sir?"
"Yes, it can be problematic when he's been gone a few days and then comes back in caffeine withdrawal, because the person taking over his body has an issue with the stuff."
"I wasn't aware, sir. Maybe they should add a line under allergies on the briefing sheet."
Jack laughed, but even he knew it was a fake. "Now about those plans, Airman?"
"Well, sir, as you must know, my job functions are not in a critical area that allows me to return to Earth frequently. I was hoping to find the nearest bar and spend the next seventy-two hours there."
There were plenty of days that Jack thought they had staffed the Icarus Base and subsequently Destiny with every trouble maker in the Air Force and Marine Corp, but he didn't think they were necessarily morons. "Seventy-two hours in a bar?"
Pseudo-Daniel nodded. "That is unless I happen to meet someone hot, then a break might be in order. Sir, I could definitely keep up the caffeine with some Irish coffees."
Jack opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out. He tried again with the same result.
Pseudo-Daniel laughed. He doubled-over and then stood up, throwing his head back. "You really do this! They told me you did this, but I was sure they were pulling my leg. Do you tell them a monk or a Mormon too?"
Jack squinted. "Daniel?"
"Yes, Jack," he said, spreading his hands like it should be obvious.
"How do I know you're Daniel and not some smart-ass Airman that's hankering for brig time?"
"I don't know? It's me." Any semblance of military discipline vanished from his posture as he ran his fingers over the wedding photo.
"That's enlightening." Jack turned his head sideways and gave Daniel's body the once over. The body language was … completely right. They never got the body language right. Hell, they never even tried. "It is you. What he hell, Daniel?"
Daniel walked over to Jack's desk and placed the photo right where it belonged. "When I arrived on Destiny, Becker had a cold and, Jack, they don’t have spare meds let alone tissues. I couldn't focus on the on my work, so I came home."
Jack cam around his desk and slid his hand into Daniel's, so he could run his thumb over the ring on Daniel's finger. "If you're trying to sell me on the idea that you don't know how to deal with a runny nose, I may have to declare you an imposter and send for security."
"I have ways of proving my identity," Daniel said, letting his voice drop an octave.
"Seduction could get you places, but wouldn't satisfy my curiosity," Jack said.
Daniel reached down, opened the bottom drawer of Jack's desk and pulled out a tissue box. Picking up a pen, he jotted, 'send more' on the side.
Jack studied it for a second. "All right, I believe that you're you. Why are you home? I'm having trouble with the idea that a runny nose is keeping you from three days alone with an Ancient databases."
Daniel sat on the edge of Jack's desk. "It's the damnest thing, Jack. Six months ago I was happy at the Mountain, ready to strap on body armor and multiple weapons on short notice. Then I go to this premarital counseling discussion and some reverend drags me and my partner through the ringer about stuff like how we felt about adoption and surrogate parenthood."
"Okay, I have to pause you here a second," Jack said. "You haven't run into any alien technology that can make a guy pregnant, have you?"
"No."
"Carry on, tell me more about your partner, he sounds like a swell guy."
"He is a swell guy. Thing was, he was feeding me this line about how he'd come out of the wild and didn't mind be domesticated. You know, waking up in a pillow top bed and eating meals that didn't come out of a pouch."
"I don't think he used the word domesticated." Jack shook his head.
"Never-the-less, he sold me on this marriage idea, moved me out of the Mountain and now I wake up to hot coffee and a warm body every morning. I kinda like it. So when faced with adversity-"
"A runny nose."
"You spent the last three weeks in and out of the house while you were touring military facilities. I've spent the last two months on and off Destiny. I missed you," Daniel said.
"You could have said that when you came in," Jack said as he reached for the phone.
"Way too easy and besides, I had to confirm that you weren't doing inappropriate things with my body while someone else was in it."
Jack rolled his eyes as he spoke into the phone. "Walter! Clear my calendar for the next three days." Jack pulled the phone from his ear and glared at it, then he put it back. "Why? What do you mean why? Who's the general here? Daniel's got a cold and I need to nurse him back to health."
"You know that I'm not the one with the cold. It was Beckman that had the cold," Daniel said.
Jack hung up the phone. "I know!" Then he took Daniel in his arms and kissed him. "I just missed you too."
~end~
Author: justhuman
Summary: Jack and Daniel waited out DODT and DOMA. Can they survive premarital counseling.
Word Count: 11,775
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: We'd have seen Jack and Daniel married in canon if I owned the Gate franchise. No infringement intended.
Written For: padfootthegrim
Prompt: Humor and an unbreakable marriage ceremony. Optional Request: NC-17. No non-con or OOC Jack or Daniel.
Notes: Many thanks to catspaw_sgjd for her quick and thoughtful beta. I did some rewriting without her, so as always, it's all my fault
Timeline notes in Part I
There was some initial confusion and some explaining to the newcomers about why there was confusion. Finally Grossman took the bride from one couple and the groom from the next so that the two groups only had half of each couple. Normally the Pulaski's and Lincolns would have split along gender lines too, so there was some more confusion as Mrs. Lincoln and Major Pulaski joined Jack's group and their partners landed with Daniel's group.
Then there was some silence, because neither the Major nor the Mrs. knew were to start with a mixed gender group. Finally Grossman tossed out a conversation starter that got the ball rolling.
Not that Jack would have chosen to be there, but it wasn't so bad. As the topic rolled through things like holidays with the in-laws and going to bed angry, they even welcomed Jack's comments about how he and Sara had handled those kinds of things. Hell, even Grossman was looking more relaxed.
"Uhm, General?" Jack looked to his right where Airman Newburgh was looking nervous.
"Yeah."
"It's been great hearing the successful strategies that you, the Lincolns and the Pulaski's have used. And, I know were not supposed to quiz, but…"
"Newburgh, just ask," Jack said, rubbing his eyes.
"What didn't work? I mean you got divorced."
There was a rush in Jack's head as events flooded back to him. Saying he was divorced was one thing, but looking back at the cause ripped into him like a knife, reopening a wound that should have had a tougher scar after all these years.
Sergeant Driscoll asked, "Was it because you were gay and married to a woman?"
Jack could only look at him, because nothing was coming out of his mouth. The room was suddenly a lot quieter because the group on the other side of the room had stopped talking too. Finally Jack found his voice. "You want to know why I got divorced?"
Grossman stepped up, "General O'Neill, you don't have to discuss that."
Newburgh and Driscoll were both apologizing, and then Daniel was standing behind him. He leaned down and whispered in Jack's ear. "You don't have to, Jack."
When Jack looked up, he saw all the strength and power in Daniel's eyes that had always been there. Then he took in a breath. "Yeah, I do. Chaplain, I noticed something about your forms. It's got parts talking about how to deal with long deployments and all sorts of other things that the military makes dependents go through. It doesn't have a section talking about things like weapons kept at home."
Grossman was stymied. Daniel's hand on Jack's shoulder became firmer.
Driscoll opened his mouth again and Jack waved a hand before could ask whatever he was going to ask. "I had retired at one point in my career. I was home with my wife and my eight-year-old son, Charlie." He had to pause and pull in a breath to push the emotions back down.
Before he lost his nerve, Jack went on. "Everything was fine and damn near perfect. One day Charlie found my service revolver and-" All the air had gone out of Jack's lungs for a second, but Daniel was with him, grounding him. "And he accidentally shot himself."
Now Jack had the attention of the entire room and he really wished they would go away and leave him with Daniel. Then he really looked at the room and saw all the young couples with pie in the sky dreams and knew that he shouldn't have sent them crashing back to earth.
"Sorry, Grossman," Jack said and stood up. "This communication thing that we've been talking about; my wife and I didn't do that for a while. Then when she was ready to try, I had no idea how to anymore. I think we're just going to-"
Jack led the way out the door, sliding on his cover as the stepped out into the too bright sunshine.
From behind him, Jack could hear Daniel shooing Grossman back into the building with the main group. Just as quickly, Daniel moved back to his side.
"Jack, are you okay?" Daniel asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," Jack said
"No you're not," Daniel snapped.
"What!" It was completely amazing to Jack how Daniel did that. Reasonable, sane and intelligent in one sentence and a complete pain in the ass the next.
"Jack!"
"Daniel!"
"I know how hard it is for you to talk about Charlie." There was something aggressive yet sympathetic in Daniel's tone. Jack wasn't sure what to do with it, but decided to try and calm down anyway.
"I think I've made considerable progress on my ability to talk on this topic compared to the first time we talked about it."
"Well, yes," Daniel said. "There weren't a lot of directions to go from there except up, Jack."
Jack scratched at the back of his head as he paced around. "Ye-ah." Then he stopped and pointed at the door. "They're damn nosy in there. Or, maybe I do over-share."
Daniel looked at the door and then Jack. "They're just the first ones that'll be curious about us."
"I see what you're saying but could you not go there right now?"
"Why?
"Because I might have to admit that someone in the Pentagon was using his brain and had a point. You know, someone besides me."
Daniel sat on the wall of a planter bed lining the walk and smiled at Jack. "So what do we do to make this work?"
What should they do? Jack paused to think about it. Then he started pacing again. "I have no idea. Well, that's not true, but my ideas are not very practical and that's coming from me."
"Then we're doomed because I come up with even more impractical ideas than you do," Daniel said.
"Yes you do, and I've had the headaches over every last one of them to prove it."
"Only the ones that you argued with me over."
"So what you're saying is that the key to communication between us is that I should just agree with you," Jack said with a smile.
"Yes, just like I should just assume you're right," Daniel said with a laugh. "No, you shouldn't just agree with me; I actually count on you to argue with me. It makes things more interesting."
"I want to be married to you. You know that whole thing in there, when you were touching me in front of other people? I like that." Jack willed some of the tension leave his body. "Overall, I pretty much like you."
Daniel had poked his tongue between his lips and then pulled it back in, closing his mouth tight. Jack could see that he was fighting a smile and that was good, because there had been enough drama in he room.
"Like me," Daniel said slowly. "That's good, Jack. You know, with the whole marriage thing. Most days I like you, when you're not being an overbearing part of the military machine. There are some days when I think that I might love you. But, you know, it's only a might."
Jack sat down next to Daniel, shaking his head. "Nope."
"Nope?"
"It's not love. You're just being overwhelmed by my astonishingly good looks or maybe it's gas from eating at the mess or something."
Daniel nodded. "Gastrointestinal issues from the mess are a strong possibility."
"Are we really ready to do this?" Jack asked. "I mean those people are just the top of the iceberg. Four-star was right about what the media; they're going to hound us."
Daniel face and body language said that he was trying to solve a puzzle. The problem as that he was looking at Jack.
"We talked about all that when we decided we were going to get married. Yes, there's a reasonably high probability that the press may decide we're interesting. But the media has the attention span of a two-year-old and it wouldn't last long. Hell, we spend so much time in secure facilities that they'd probably become bored trying to stalk us. Jack, you're the one that was saying that."
"Okay yes, and I still think that's a valid assessment. I didn't think every random person that we ran into would be questioning us." Jack pointed at the door.
"Not that I think it was good in there, but they're not exactly a random crowd since they were here to talk about marriage just like us. Jack, what's eating you?"
"Look at us, out here. We didn't even last in there long enough to get to the part of the questionnaire that we were going to argue about."
"There were some good disagreements in there," Daniel said.
"Where we're going to live?"
"Whose career we'd be willing to move for? Are those the things that are bugging you?"
Jack wasn't sure he wanted to answer that yet, so he asked, "Did you put anything in the section about the in-laws, not that either of us has in-laws?"
Daniel looked him for a second or two and then said, "Kind of - I used Sam and Teal'c as our in-laws and Mitchell as my brother."
"You're not related to him," Jack said.
"We're not related to Sam or Teal'c either, if you want to be technical. What is your problem with Mitchell?"
"I don’t have a problem with Mitchell."
"Then why isn't he family like Sam and Teal'c?"
"Well maybe I didn't have a problem with him when we had our last career disagreement. You know, when I was going to DC and you were going on assignment-" Jack paused. They should be having this kind of conversation in the Mountain. "When you were going far, far away. When we were trying to pretend that this thing we have was a fine thing when were living in the same state, but would fade when we were apart."
"Nothing faded," Daniel said and then he screwed up his entire face. "What does that have to do with Mitchell?"
Jack held out both arms, indicating how obvious the issue was. "Instead of going far, far away you ended up traipsing into the unknown with Mitchell and his team - you know, what you used to do with me until the powers that be decided that I'd had gotten old enough to promote me out of field work."
"First off, it's not my fault that I didn't go far, far away. It was Vala's fault."
"No, it-" Jack did a quick fact check in his head and then nodded. "Yes, it was."
"She's not a relative, by the way" Daniel said, and then he turned, facing Jack, and Jack could see a light bulb go off over Daniel's head.. "You're jealous of Mitchell? Now that's insane."
It was a dimwitted light bulb. "I'm not." Jack said.
Mitchell was a damn good officer and an excellent team leader. Jack never even thought twice about giving him the hard missions and knowing they would get done. He'd piss off the right people and charm the rest…
Jack had a vision of Mitchell's team. Sheppard was pointing a weapon at anything that moved, while McKay was typing into a laptop and Vala was swindling the nearest underworld character. Then there was Mitchell looking heroic and even though Daniel wasn't an official part of that team, he was standing next to Mitchell, pointing the way.
It wasn't like a light bulb went off over Jack's head, more like a fluorescent light buzzed to life. "Maybe I am a little jealous."
"I don't go far-far away with Mitchell anymore. The band broke up, again," Daniel said.
"Band?"
Daniel waved his hand. "It's a Mitchell thing."
"Oh, that makes me feel so much better," Jack said.
"Jack, do you really think that I'm interested in Mitchell?"
Jack thought about it a second and that wasn't it. He scuffed his heel against the sidewalk. "No, I don't, but it was a good distraction from going back in there."
"Jack, we are not the only ones that think this is a good idea," Daniel said.
"For what it's worth, I think you two have a shot."
Jack and Daniel looked up simultaneously.
"I'd apologize for eavesdropping, but it's kind of my job. Chaplain Lynch, if you don't recall from the introduction."
Jack had forgotten about Lynch after the introduction. He was older than Grossman and wore a Major's golden oak leaf, where Grossman had Captain's bars. Rank for Chaplains was more of an honorary than anything else, but it did reflect years on the job.
Lynch sat on the planter opposite Jack and Daniel. "I've been doing this kind of thing for years. Nowadays, I let the young guns do the group stuff, and lend a hand with the specific details."
Jack had to admit that Lynch was good. He was spinning the right words and attitude to get invited into the conversation. "You said something about us having a shot?"
Lynch nodded. "The ones that know they love each other always have a better shot than the ones that say they love each other." He leaned back, studying them. "You two seem to know how to talk to one another. The only question after that is can you agree on anything. Also, it helps if you're both headed in the same general direction."
"Forgive me for being cynical, but aren't you going to hassle us over the gay marriage part of this conversation?" Daniel asked.
"Geez, Daniel!" Jack wondered what the hell he was going on in his head.
"Jack, do you think he just noticed we're both men because I said it?"
"If I had a problem with it, I would have let you walk away. Now ask me to preside at your wedding, and I can't help you. The Presbyterians are in a tizzy, trying to decide what to do, so my hands are tied. I just think that if people are going to get married they should try to stay that way," Lynch said.
"That's an excellent plan, barring all the MIA scenarios," Jack glared at Daniel, who glared right back. You know, there were no MIA or POW questions on that questionnaire either."
"General, this apparently will surprise you, but most people getting married, tend to focus on the happily ever after part, instead of writing wills," Lynch said.
"Hey, Daniel, there's a surprise. I'm the one that seems to focus on death more. Why do you suppose that is?" Jack said, letting the sarcasm flow free.
"Jack, I think I know where you are going with this. Do you want an official mourning period so you know when it's okay to move on?" Daniel asked.
Lynch held up a hand. "Gentlemen, I think maybe-"
Daniel interrupted, "Chaplain, I can see where you may think this is extreme, but we've both been MIA before. I've been presumed dead more than my fair share of times."
"What does that mean?" Lynch asked.
"Half-a-dozen times!" Jack answered.
"I think it was only five times," Daniel said.
"Daniel!"
"Okay, okay, it was too many times and that's the point."
"No, that's not the point," Jack insisted.
"Then what is the point?" Daniel shouted.
"My point is that I don't want to have to bury you," Jack said.
"Wait a minute," Daniel said and he lifted that finger in the air that made him look like a professor. To Jack it always carried a know-it-all air and Jack really didn't like when it was directed at him.
"You've got a problem with it being dangerous work, but it's all we did for the better part of a decade. You also seem to have reservations about Mitchell, but you tell me it's not jealousy. Since I spend some time with Mitchell's team, are you telling me that you don't think I'm safe enough? You're not active in the field, so I can't be active in the field?"
Wrong and Jack was just about to tell him that. He just ran the facts through his head. Then he cursed himself internally, because Daniel was right. Ready to take his lumps, he let out a breath and said, "I am aware that it makes me a complete hypocrite, but yes. I'd love for you to come home every night, wherever home might be. Do you have any advice on this one, Lynch?"
Lynch had pulled out a paperback book and was reading. "Nope you two are doing just fine."
Both of them frowned simultaneously at the chaplain and then at each other.
Daniel scratched at the back of his head. "Now that I'm not on a regular team rotation, I don't spend as much time in the field. I just - How can you even ask me to stop?"
"Because I'm completely selfish and even if you can handle a few more years with a long distance relationship, I don't want to. As you know, I had my reservations about leaving the field. Most of the time when they put another pile of paper in front of me, all I want to do is trade my pen in for an assault weapon."
Jack looked straight up, squinting into the sun and stretching I throat. Then he looked back at Daniel. "I don't know when it happened, but I found out that I like sleeping in a bed every night. It's not so bad to have dinner at home, and I don’t want to do it alone anymore. Just think back a couple of hours. When we got up this morning-"
"Jack, we shouldn't be making life decisions based on whether we woke up horny or not."
"Could you not talk about sex in front of the chaplain?" Jack shouted.
Lynch didn't look at them, but chimed in. "The Chaplain's married, and he thinks that a good sex life doesn't hurt anything."
Daniel went on, as if he hadn't heard Lynch. "You were just saying-"
"That I want to wake up every morning next to you whether or not our dicks will ever get up again," Jack said. He watched as Daniel moved his finger in the air, doing some kind of accounting.
"Are we still talking about field work?"
"I'm talking about where are we going to live. So I'm proposing that you come to live with me in DC - or we can move to the suburbs so you can be near a secure facility to do that work thing that you do. You know, the work that you do outside the field that keeps you locked in the Mountain to all hours of the night."
Even as Jack said the words, he knew they sounded like some crazy kind of dream. "Look, I know that you'll have to come back to the Mountain periodically and that field duty happens. But-" Jack was on his feet, pacing off nervous energy.
"What about you retiring and moving back to Colorado?" Daniel asked.
It wasn't an attack, but an option, so Jack took it that way. "I always thought about retiring in Minnesota full time."
"No."
"You love going fishing with me at the cabin," Jack said.
"Jack, no one but you loves fishing at the cabin. I love spending time with you there. I mean that, but there is no way in hell that I'm live in the cabin year-round. It barely has cell phone reception, let alone neighbors."
"The lack of neighbors is a huge advantage, and we do have satellite TV."
"Jack!" Daniel shouted and then he moved in his seat, like he couldn't decide whether to get up or not. "Jack," he said more calmly. "Let's think about compromising. For instance, we both love Chicago. Why don't we think about retiring there? I wouldn't go stir crazy, and we'd only be a day's drive from the cabin. We could visit."
Jack thought about it for a minute. It was a good plan and the only disappointing part was that he hadn't thought of it first. "Can I get season tickets for the Cubs?"
"Only if you don't drag me to every game," Daniel said.
"Sold," Jack said. "Now that we know where we're going to retire, what are we going to live in the meantime?"
"I was serious, couldn't you do your thing from the Mountain?"
"I represent the Mountain to all those other people in Washington that keep trying to cut its budget. And then there's that project I'm practically running out of my office. In fact, it's in the reception area of my office - the one that's taking place far, far, far away. Trying to change the long distance plan would be rough. It's more involved than banging a couple of stones together." Jack said.
He hoped that Daniel would recognize that he couldn't disrupt communications with the team on the Ancient ship Destiny. Having a secure place where people using the Ancient communication stones could have immediate access to the IOA and command was critical.
"True," Daniel said and then his face became thoughtful. "Just clarifying. Jack, that project you were just talking about. It's the one with the things, right?"
Jack blinked. "Things? I could say yes, but how can I be sure we're talking about the same things?"
"You know, the things," Daniel said, extending his hand as if he were holding something.
"I could take a walk, gentlemen if you need to talk about things above my clearance," Lynch offered.
Jack looked Daniel up and down. "Nah, we're talking about the same things."
"Jack, what if I worked on that project? I mean the things, lead to other things that are right up my alley," Daniel said. "I know first hand that it's not without its risks, because there was that time with Vala. Overall as far as risk goes, it's a walk in the park."
For a second, Jack was trying to piece it together and then in his head and then he saw Daniel exploring the Destiny from the safety of Jack's outer office. "You'd do that? You'd move to DC to do that? We should do that!" There'd be a hell of a long talk about what the person borrowing Daniel's body with the Ancient communications stones would be allowed to do, but this was workable.
"Then we have a place to live," Daniel said.
"We do," Jack agreed. "Now we have to suck it up and go back in there to get whatever damn certificate they give, so we can get married."
Lynch pulled a folded piece of paper from his book, "No you don't."
"You're trying to spare us the nosy inquiries?" Daniel asked.
"If I let you back in there, I give it five minutes before one of you changes the subject to disability, dismemberment and/or death. I'm trying to spare Grossman," Lynch said.
"That's very kind of you," Jack said as he took a few steps forward and reached for the paper that Lynch suddenly pulled back.
"Not so fast. You dealt with your thoughts on social pressures, careers, leisure time, and religion, such as it is. We still have at least one hard to discuss topic to cover.
"Finances," Daniel guessed on the heels of Jack's guess of, "Which way to put the toilet paper roll on."
"Toilet paper? Jack, really?"
"It's symbolic of how we'd like the house to be run."
"Oh, household issues like not leaving take out Chinese in the refrigerator for a month," Daniel said.
"Or leaving dirty socks on the floor, ever," Jack countered.
"Gentlemen, I have confidence that you have the skills to tackle those tough situations," Lynch said. "Let's move onto a topic that always manages to cause a ruckus. Have you given any thought to birth control?"
*** Six Months Later ***
There was a single knock on Jack's office door to which Jack automatically answered, "Come."
"I was told to report to you, sir."
Jack looked up from his paperwork and Daniel was standing at attention in front of him. Correction. It was Daniel's body, but it contained the consciousness of one of the crewmembers from Destiny.
"Name." In a fluid motion, Jack spun in his chair, snatched a framed photo off his desk and got to his feet.
"Airman Darren Becker, sir!"
"At ease, Airman. Do you know whose body you're in?"
Becker gracefully moved from attention, spreading his feet and tucking his hands behind his back. "Dr. Daniel Jackson, sir."
"Take a look at this." Jack pushed the photo forward, forcing Becker to grab it in Daniel's hands.
"It looks like a wedding photo, sir."
"That's because it is," Jack said. "Left hand."
"Left hand?"
"Show me you're left hand Airman."
Daniel's hand came up and the occupant of Daniel's body studied it.
"See that ring? I put that ring on that finger just a few minutes before they took this picture," Jack said and looked fondly at the picture. He was in his dress uniform, standing next to Daniel in a tux - a fine example of them being completely different but somehow on the same page. He loved this picture.
"Uh, sir?" Pseudo-Daniel prompted.
"What?"
"You just looked distracted, sir. Could, could I put my, I mean, his hand down?"
"Oh, sure," Jack said. "I just wanted to call you in, welcome you back to Earth, Airman Becker." Jack sat on the edge of his desk. "So what were you hoping to do with my husband's body? I'm just a little curious. I want to make sure you weren't planning on skydiving and that you feed it enough coffee."
"Coffee, sir?"
"Yes, it can be problematic when he's been gone a few days and then comes back in caffeine withdrawal, because the person taking over his body has an issue with the stuff."
"I wasn't aware, sir. Maybe they should add a line under allergies on the briefing sheet."
Jack laughed, but even he knew it was a fake. "Now about those plans, Airman?"
"Well, sir, as you must know, my job functions are not in a critical area that allows me to return to Earth frequently. I was hoping to find the nearest bar and spend the next seventy-two hours there."
There were plenty of days that Jack thought they had staffed the Icarus Base and subsequently Destiny with every trouble maker in the Air Force and Marine Corp, but he didn't think they were necessarily morons. "Seventy-two hours in a bar?"
Pseudo-Daniel nodded. "That is unless I happen to meet someone hot, then a break might be in order. Sir, I could definitely keep up the caffeine with some Irish coffees."
Jack opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out. He tried again with the same result.
Pseudo-Daniel laughed. He doubled-over and then stood up, throwing his head back. "You really do this! They told me you did this, but I was sure they were pulling my leg. Do you tell them a monk or a Mormon too?"
Jack squinted. "Daniel?"
"Yes, Jack," he said, spreading his hands like it should be obvious.
"How do I know you're Daniel and not some smart-ass Airman that's hankering for brig time?"
"I don't know? It's me." Any semblance of military discipline vanished from his posture as he ran his fingers over the wedding photo.
"That's enlightening." Jack turned his head sideways and gave Daniel's body the once over. The body language was … completely right. They never got the body language right. Hell, they never even tried. "It is you. What he hell, Daniel?"
Daniel walked over to Jack's desk and placed the photo right where it belonged. "When I arrived on Destiny, Becker had a cold and, Jack, they don’t have spare meds let alone tissues. I couldn't focus on the on my work, so I came home."
Jack cam around his desk and slid his hand into Daniel's, so he could run his thumb over the ring on Daniel's finger. "If you're trying to sell me on the idea that you don't know how to deal with a runny nose, I may have to declare you an imposter and send for security."
"I have ways of proving my identity," Daniel said, letting his voice drop an octave.
"Seduction could get you places, but wouldn't satisfy my curiosity," Jack said.
Daniel reached down, opened the bottom drawer of Jack's desk and pulled out a tissue box. Picking up a pen, he jotted, 'send more' on the side.
Jack studied it for a second. "All right, I believe that you're you. Why are you home? I'm having trouble with the idea that a runny nose is keeping you from three days alone with an Ancient databases."
Daniel sat on the edge of Jack's desk. "It's the damnest thing, Jack. Six months ago I was happy at the Mountain, ready to strap on body armor and multiple weapons on short notice. Then I go to this premarital counseling discussion and some reverend drags me and my partner through the ringer about stuff like how we felt about adoption and surrogate parenthood."
"Okay, I have to pause you here a second," Jack said. "You haven't run into any alien technology that can make a guy pregnant, have you?"
"No."
"Carry on, tell me more about your partner, he sounds like a swell guy."
"He is a swell guy. Thing was, he was feeding me this line about how he'd come out of the wild and didn't mind be domesticated. You know, waking up in a pillow top bed and eating meals that didn't come out of a pouch."
"I don't think he used the word domesticated." Jack shook his head.
"Never-the-less, he sold me on this marriage idea, moved me out of the Mountain and now I wake up to hot coffee and a warm body every morning. I kinda like it. So when faced with adversity-"
"A runny nose."
"You spent the last three weeks in and out of the house while you were touring military facilities. I've spent the last two months on and off Destiny. I missed you," Daniel said.
"You could have said that when you came in," Jack said as he reached for the phone.
"Way too easy and besides, I had to confirm that you weren't doing inappropriate things with my body while someone else was in it."
Jack rolled his eyes as he spoke into the phone. "Walter! Clear my calendar for the next three days." Jack pulled the phone from his ear and glared at it, then he put it back. "Why? What do you mean why? Who's the general here? Daniel's got a cold and I need to nurse him back to health."
"You know that I'm not the one with the cold. It was Beckman that had the cold," Daniel said.
Jack hung up the phone. "I know!" Then he took Daniel in his arms and kissed him. "I just missed you too."
~end~