My Day at the Surgery
All my time spent before going to see the doctor is used thinking about
how I'd spend my last days if I'm told that I'll die.
I ALWAYS expect to hear the doctor say that they've found something
and I should start thinking about what I want to do with the last remaining days.
Even if i'm going in for a cold.
I figure at least I've got some kind of reaction planned
actually this is Nic's fault for telling me I've probably got cancer.
So anyway if I was going to die real soon
I'd probably tell you guys how you're special in your own little ways,
apologise for the ways we could have been closer
and tell you that if you wanna hang out with me that I'll be in heaven
and I'd love for you to meet me there.
I'd also probably try and talk someone into playing a joke at my funeral
by telling everyone that my corpse just moved or something.
Anyway, as far as I know I'm not dying, well only in the normal slow kinda way.
I kinda had fun at the doctors actually.
I had heaps of blood extracted and I got to pee in a cup.
As the doc was about to extract my blood his tummy let out the biggest rumbling,
I sat up looked, him in the eye and said "I'm on to you, vampire!" he loved it.
My bladder was surprisingly compliant when it came to the urine sample.
After the doc assured me that we only needed a little bit
but I came back with a full jar.
I said to him "Check this out, I could have filled two"
"Ah that's ok, we only needed..."
"Maybe even three" I interrupted enthusiastically.
He dipped a narrow card into my urine to test if I had any protein in my urine
I told him he had a great job
and then as he examined the test card I asked him if I was pregnant
He asked if I was nervous.
They left my blood and urine samples on the reciptionists counter
With a smile, I said to her "Hey, that's my wee"
She smiled back at me.
And then I went home
how I'd spend my last days if I'm told that I'll die.
I ALWAYS expect to hear the doctor say that they've found something
and I should start thinking about what I want to do with the last remaining days.
Even if i'm going in for a cold.
I figure at least I've got some kind of reaction planned
actually this is Nic's fault for telling me I've probably got cancer.
So anyway if I was going to die real soon
I'd probably tell you guys how you're special in your own little ways,
apologise for the ways we could have been closer
and tell you that if you wanna hang out with me that I'll be in heaven
and I'd love for you to meet me there.
I'd also probably try and talk someone into playing a joke at my funeral
by telling everyone that my corpse just moved or something.
Anyway, as far as I know I'm not dying, well only in the normal slow kinda way.
I kinda had fun at the doctors actually.
I had heaps of blood extracted and I got to pee in a cup.
As the doc was about to extract my blood his tummy let out the biggest rumbling,
I sat up looked, him in the eye and said "I'm on to you, vampire!" he loved it.
My bladder was surprisingly compliant when it came to the urine sample.
After the doc assured me that we only needed a little bit
but I came back with a full jar.
I said to him "Check this out, I could have filled two"
"Ah that's ok, we only needed..."
"Maybe even three" I interrupted enthusiastically.
He dipped a narrow card into my urine to test if I had any protein in my urine
I told him he had a great job
and then as he examined the test card I asked him if I was pregnant
He asked if I was nervous.
They left my blood and urine samples on the reciptionists counter
With a smile, I said to her "Hey, that's my wee"
She smiled back at me.
And then I went home