John vs, Dre
Well I do not know how many people know but I have meet a new guy. Most people think that this is a good tihng becasue of the way that Dre treats me. And I tohught that is how I would feel with spending more time with John. I thought that I would get over Dre. It was good between John and me at frist. He was saying all of these nice things about me. He was telling me how good I looked. And he was makeing me feel good about me self. He was doing all of the things that Dre was not. AndI like that. John wants a relationship, and he see me as being some one that he really wants to be with. I told him that I wanted to be friends frist and he was cool with that. And Dre wants to try to work on us so I said that we would start all over. I know that it is bad that I am telling two guys that I am will to date them but I just want to be freinds for right now. But I fell like I have to not just fouce on one guy right now. I am still young there is no need for me to be all into one guy. Plus I do not want to be dateing anyone when I go to GVS becasue I am leaving my oppions open there too. So I thought that I had it all planned. I would see how things went between Dre and I and also John and I, but still see what happens at college. Well I thought that I had it all planned untill last night. I went over John's house and we were cuddling and all I could think about is that he is not Dre. He did not feel like Dre. He did not touch me like Dre did. HE did not kiss like Dre did. He was not Dre. And as much as I thought that I wanted to see other people I know that I was still in love with him. And that is who I want to be with. Right now Dre is trying to make it work between us. He is doing all of the things that he was not before that made me made. And if I really want to make this work I have to try just like he is. But, I am not going to stop talking to John. He is a nice guy. I just have to tell him that I am not over my ex yet and I do not know if I am going to be. And if he chooses not to talk to me any more than that is on him. But I do know that I do not want to stop trying with the person that has been my world for 2 years. We are trying. And I want everyone to pray for us. I want to do the right thing. If that means that we are not meant to be then we are not meant to be. But I do not just want to be with him any more just to have some one to be with. My heart can not go through this any more. I just need to know what to do.