summer
all i wanna do is have a little fun before i die....
doesn't really look like that's going to be happening. today was registration, and i really didn't feel like seeing everyone and talking to them and asking them how their summers went, because honestly i realized i don't give a flying fuck. it's more just curiosity/gossip/obligation. it's sometimes fun to hear what people did, but mostly, it's just because i didn't want to stand there blankly staring at them. fuck, i'm just in such a strange mood. i've got all this shit in the back of my head; grandmother is in for another round of chemo (however you spell it), my parents are being bitches, and i feel like my friend is hitting some pretty tough bumps in the road and i'm unable to help her simply becausefja;jioej i don't even want to talk about it.
(i know, i know, would you like some cheese with that wine? oh well, you don't have to read it if you don't want to. pms is a bitch.)
i think that's part of the problem. i've got all this shit i don't want to think about. i push it into the back of my head, try to forget about it and be the happy person everybody wants me to be. most all of the time, i am. but then i go home and deal with my parents and have to face all of that stuff i try to forget about, and i'm not so happy.
in the beginning of the summer, i was very motivated...and busy. i didn't have time to be unhappy. everyone was so amazed at how many things i was doing at once, and i was so independent and happy and busy. then, things did not slow down, but i was ready to. i quickly got worn out mentally. certain things like ptc and idaho temporarily put me back on cloud 9, but now that it's time for school, i'm ready for a break. how did i do this to myself???
ok, done.
doesn't really look like that's going to be happening. today was registration, and i really didn't feel like seeing everyone and talking to them and asking them how their summers went, because honestly i realized i don't give a flying fuck. it's more just curiosity/gossip/obligation. it's sometimes fun to hear what people did, but mostly, it's just because i didn't want to stand there blankly staring at them. fuck, i'm just in such a strange mood. i've got all this shit in the back of my head; grandmother is in for another round of chemo (however you spell it), my parents are being bitches, and i feel like my friend is hitting some pretty tough bumps in the road and i'm unable to help her simply becausefja;jioej i don't even want to talk about it.
(i know, i know, would you like some cheese with that wine? oh well, you don't have to read it if you don't want to. pms is a bitch.)
i think that's part of the problem. i've got all this shit i don't want to think about. i push it into the back of my head, try to forget about it and be the happy person everybody wants me to be. most all of the time, i am. but then i go home and deal with my parents and have to face all of that stuff i try to forget about, and i'm not so happy.
in the beginning of the summer, i was very motivated...and busy. i didn't have time to be unhappy. everyone was so amazed at how many things i was doing at once, and i was so independent and happy and busy. then, things did not slow down, but i was ready to. i quickly got worn out mentally. certain things like ptc and idaho temporarily put me back on cloud 9, but now that it's time for school, i'm ready for a break. how did i do this to myself???
ok, done.