Day 1: Love
Ok..today is the second day of NaMoBlo...or something like that..lol...and Im already starting off bad...so Ima do better...I promise!!
Todays Topic: Love
Love is a wonderful thing. It makes the flowers grow, leaves green, sun shine bright, food taste better, skies bluer, and nothing can go wrong/be wrong. But...it can also hurt worse than the smallest paper cut, or broken bone, or death of a loved one, or splinter, or broken friendship.
It will make you walk the ends of the earth, or crawl under the lowest rock and cry.
It can make you the happiest person alive, or burn you worse than 3rd degree burns.
Love has done all kinds of crazy things to me..I used to hate her ass. She made me chase men down for days, weeks, and sometimes months, just so I could hear them NOT say those three little words that I had felt waaay before I needed to hear them said back. She made me fight my family, church, and friends for her. She made me cry my hardest, laugh my loudest, and smile my longest.
She started off with that puppy love...that love than you swear up and down is soooo real, only to find out that just as fast as she sauntered her ass in my life, she could run the other way. Then she hit with me with that high school sweetheart version of herself...made me think he was gonna be around forever...and that she was my best friend...LIAR....but, she did leave me a wonderful present: My daughter, who taught me the true meaning of love.
And she hit me again...with that marriage-based love....she had me all wide open. I was floating for months, never wanting to come down...and she dropped me like a bad habbit. But before she dropped me, she did enforce another type of love that came with the birth of my son.
Let me elaborate: with the birth of my daughter, I learned that love comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Yeah, how could not love someone that you carried aroud with you for the past 8 months, but at the same time, how can you love something that could possibly hurt you worse than any other loved one or romantic partner? How can you give your heart and soul to someone you dont even know, or better yet, may not live to see her first birthday?
When I first saw her "What the fuck are you doing to me?" face, I couldnt help it. I trusted her more than I trusted anyone else in my life. I knew that she would never leave me because I loved her, and that love wasnt going anywhere. WHen I changed her first diaper(well, napkin, back then)...and she left me a projectile-present(a shitty diaper for my parentless friends..lol), and then looked at me with wonder and awe, I was instantly hooked.
With the birth of my son, I was so confused. I didnt want him, I didnt want his daddy. I wanted my little girl, and that was it. I didnt need another little person. But he wouldnt go away. No matter how hard I tried, he stayed. and he demanded my attention and time. I couldnt eat what I wanted to eat, or sleep when I wanted to sleep, or listen to wahtever music I wanted to listen to...my life had been changed, and there was nothing I could do about it. And then he decided to grace the world with his presence...I didnt know how I could love 2 little people as much as I loved my firstborn..my heart would surely explode. But it didnt...I looked at him, he looked at me, and I was...dumbfounded. It was possible to love another in the way I loved my daughter. He needed me as much as I needed him, and he wasnt going to take no for an answer.
So, I was placed on loves merry-go-round once again, but this time, it was permanent. I wasnt getting off, no matter how dizzy it made me. She made me ride at fullspeed, even though she knew I was "motion imparied"..but she has yet to let me get off yet...and hopefully never will.
And you know what...the ride is never-ending...now Im on a totally different love rollercoaster, and it is throwing me for a serious loop. I dont know when we are gonna do a loop-de-loop, or hang upside down, or go crashing down the tracks, only to start the ride again...
so now Im on a merry-go-round, and a roller coaster, and getting ready for the ride of my life...
Love is a bitch, but I wont go as far as saying that I hate her...she helped me become who I am today...and without her, perfume wouldnt smell as sweet, or a scrape wouldnt burn as bad....