All that goopy inside stuff. Feelings.
I've felt more violent in the last week than I remember ever feeling. Not just resltess, though that too, but actually "I want my fist making contact with her face" violent. Then again, domestic assault is a charge I can't shake for my whole life and going to jail messes with my goal schedule with my career. Also, with any other career I may want, and also with ever getting another apartment or house.
I hit a breaking point with one of my roommates after she blithely called me one day and said she was leaving her girlfriend (my ex, for whom I still care a great deal) at the mall, at dark, with no jacket and no cell phone, to wait five hours for my girlfriend to take her to our house.
The straw that breaks that camel's back. I'd been fine with her being a jerk - some people are just jerks. And it's not my business how she treats her girlfriend - some girls get a kick out of the power dynamic, maybe. (I sure as hell don't.)
But she would have left her up there? I sent a few nasty text messages before I realized what I was saying, and have steeled myself from any further communication as I still, in this time, have not calmed down. Luckily I've got two and a half weeks 'til I move out. Yay.
And while laying her out with a busted jaw would make my Christmas ultimately satisfying and would get every piece of anger out, it's not worth it. I'm smarter than that. I won't let myself do it.
So.
There's got to be another way to work out the tension non-violently 'cause I'm not really in the mood for jail time.
I hit a breaking point with one of my roommates after she blithely called me one day and said she was leaving her girlfriend (my ex, for whom I still care a great deal) at the mall, at dark, with no jacket and no cell phone, to wait five hours for my girlfriend to take her to our house.
The straw that breaks that camel's back. I'd been fine with her being a jerk - some people are just jerks. And it's not my business how she treats her girlfriend - some girls get a kick out of the power dynamic, maybe. (I sure as hell don't.)
But she would have left her up there? I sent a few nasty text messages before I realized what I was saying, and have steeled myself from any further communication as I still, in this time, have not calmed down. Luckily I've got two and a half weeks 'til I move out. Yay.
And while laying her out with a busted jaw would make my Christmas ultimately satisfying and would get every piece of anger out, it's not worth it. I'm smarter than that. I won't let myself do it.
So.
There's got to be another way to work out the tension non-violently 'cause I'm not really in the mood for jail time.