Musing on the "bad news could be coming" indicators
I was in this place about a week or so ago, when I was spending time with my friend MF who just found out that his father had tumors that had already metastasized and the family was prepping itself for watching their father take on radiation and then start chemo in a pretty quick time. This is not an easy battle to watch, no matter how good the health of his father is going in. Radiation messes things up, drains energy and then chemo really can make things way uncomfortable all around.
I thought of it again when I heard that one of my old roomate's cats had passed on. Current owner has certainly had the cat the longest, but I still always think of that little bitty striped kitty that focused so hard on that boot lace, got ready to pounce, made a fantastic little leap - completely sideways and not at all in the direction of that boot lace, making us all laugh so hard. I thought that his first owner will love to see him again on the other side.
Then I thought about it again after hearing about my friend losing her aunt, whom I remember as a lovely lady. She came to see one of the LotR films with us and we had some conversation, if brief. Such an amazing personality!
Today, I am thinking about it for myself. Yesterday my grandmother had a moment of mental misfire at her hairdresser. She got confused and was not able to speak clearly. The strange part about it was that she knew that she couldn't speak properly - kept trying and just wasn't getting successful connection. That is a frightening feeling, since I've had it myself. So anyway, it wasn't a stroke, but a warning shot off the port bow for a stroke - something called a TIA. (No, I can't recall what that means, but one of the most recent Reader's Digest issues had a article on it) Most people that pay attention to them and get a hold of their doctors quickly will be able to do something to prevent the stroke, but it seems as though the incidence of warning and stroke are any where from 24 hours to a week. I know how lucky I am - many people lose their grandparents by the time they hit college. I know how lucky I am to have her be 90 and still incredibly spry! She has had a full life - successful children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to celebrate. I've been watching her do that aging thing that people do - they get closer to the light and the light begins to shine through them. They seem to get more thin and delicate, becoming like onion skin or vellum. I've seen the hearing aids, the growing number of meds and all of those little things but some how this makes it seems even closer. I know that she, like any other human, won't live forever, but somehow I want her to very much. I am thinking of all those moments and realizing the the timing couldn't possibly be any worse, between baby showers and bridal showers and bachelorette's and science fiction conventions... I might make it up at the end of June. I will definitely be calling as soon as I know that she's home from the hospital. It may not even mean anything - she could certainly live for any amount of time beyond this, but it somehow feels so immediate! It's just another warning - but I just am not fond of these kinds of warnings/reminders, let's face it.
Anyway, I am at the job and should get back to it, but I had to get it out somewhere. It's been too distracting just sitting inside my head all morning.
I thought of it again when I heard that one of my old roomate's cats had passed on. Current owner has certainly had the cat the longest, but I still always think of that little bitty striped kitty that focused so hard on that boot lace, got ready to pounce, made a fantastic little leap - completely sideways and not at all in the direction of that boot lace, making us all laugh so hard. I thought that his first owner will love to see him again on the other side.
Then I thought about it again after hearing about my friend losing her aunt, whom I remember as a lovely lady. She came to see one of the LotR films with us and we had some conversation, if brief. Such an amazing personality!
Today, I am thinking about it for myself. Yesterday my grandmother had a moment of mental misfire at her hairdresser. She got confused and was not able to speak clearly. The strange part about it was that she knew that she couldn't speak properly - kept trying and just wasn't getting successful connection. That is a frightening feeling, since I've had it myself. So anyway, it wasn't a stroke, but a warning shot off the port bow for a stroke - something called a TIA. (No, I can't recall what that means, but one of the most recent Reader's Digest issues had a article on it) Most people that pay attention to them and get a hold of their doctors quickly will be able to do something to prevent the stroke, but it seems as though the incidence of warning and stroke are any where from 24 hours to a week. I know how lucky I am - many people lose their grandparents by the time they hit college. I know how lucky I am to have her be 90 and still incredibly spry! She has had a full life - successful children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren to celebrate. I've been watching her do that aging thing that people do - they get closer to the light and the light begins to shine through them. They seem to get more thin and delicate, becoming like onion skin or vellum. I've seen the hearing aids, the growing number of meds and all of those little things but some how this makes it seems even closer. I know that she, like any other human, won't live forever, but somehow I want her to very much. I am thinking of all those moments and realizing the the timing couldn't possibly be any worse, between baby showers and bridal showers and bachelorette's and science fiction conventions... I might make it up at the end of June. I will definitely be calling as soon as I know that she's home from the hospital. It may not even mean anything - she could certainly live for any amount of time beyond this, but it somehow feels so immediate! It's just another warning - but I just am not fond of these kinds of warnings/reminders, let's face it.
Anyway, I am at the job and should get back to it, but I had to get it out somewhere. It's been too distracting just sitting inside my head all morning.