this is how we do it where im from
so prom is quickly approaching....i can not wait, if its anything like homecoming it will be the best night ever. and i love the fact that i can spend the entire thing with alex. were getting a hummer limo cuz were sweet like that...and i love getting all dolled up
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Facing further investigation into his past as a result of investigation into the increasingly strange Jeff Gannon affair, today President George W. Bush, speaking from the Oval Office, announced that he had participated in homosexual acts.
"My past was difficult, and I made many mistakes. I was addicted to cocaine. I engaged in intercourse with other men. I have a family now."
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Seriously, the wire's saying, six or so major publications like Rolling Stone etc. have a story that's been labeled "Gaygate." Try a google search, it's about the sixth link down. Spread the word. Just say it and hope the magical resonance works. I'm getting some flashy handbills to stick under windows made tomorrow or friday. I'm invoking Azathoth just to make sure. We can do it. Frankly, I don't know the "truth" of this one way from the other, but the amount of ontological anarchy that would follow the collapse of Bush II's perceived masculinity would send shockwaves throughout the country. The Europeans would not be surprised.
The Bible Belt descends into chaos; the truly religious, seeing that they played stooges to a homosexual-world-conspiracy, wander the streets in packs, rending their clothes, tearing their hair, speaking in tongues. Three days after the announcement, a hysterical high-class prostitute calls an ER, reporting that the Vice President had suffered a heart attack in the midst of orgasm; the paramedics arrive late and fail to administer the chemicals the needed to counteract the lethal coke and viagra cocktail he consumed. A man tattoos Ezekiel 36 onto his chest and flies his ultralight plane into the CBN building. A preacher at a Baptism mega-church outside dallas gives himself a Catholic extreme unction, drinks a brew, made from mushrooms, known as the Destroying Angel, crawls to the altar-table, and presses a button, firebombing the five-acre complex. Only a janitor is present in the parking lot to witness the conflagration. Guy Debord rises from the dead, teeth falling out and eyeballs rotting:
"Nihilists! One last chance to be heroes!"
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