theres a hundred things i'm screaming in silence...

[jchp03]

i wish someone would hear me....i wish someone was here to help. It hurts to be away from her and being with her is like a tease. no one understands. Lindsey sometimes frustrates me more than anything...and i wish she'd care that she does sometimes. she jsut says ok and goes on with life. i can't stand to have someone mad at me. It bothers me. sooo much. And she doesn't care if i'm mad at her. sometimes it seems as if she gets a kick out of it. From now on i'm not giving in. if i'm mad at her, well too bad. last night was the last time i forget about something. i can't keep letting things boil inside....they have to be dealt with...and if not. well then that's the end. shes just going to have to make changes just like i do. she doesn't understand that. maybe one day. there isn't much out there to make her see how it feels to be me. to be alone all the time. to feel this way all the time. and she basically tells me to quit. i can't. it hurts and i'm supposed to talk to you about it. but everytime i tell her what's bothering me....it turns out to be an argument. if i wanted an argument i'd tell you i slept with your sister or something.
oh well...i guess this is how it goes. this is me screaming a hundred things in silence. Thanks

peace out bitches...long day tom...too bad for me b/c lindsey will be busy when i'm not.