The END is surely here...and what do I have to say....
Well, yes kids another year as gone by here at CMU and it was what it was. A YEAR!!! As I embark on my aslt 2 exams tomorrow for they will be my last till next year.
Like I said it has been A YEAR!! A year I will sure never forgot, not that it was memorable but more SHIITY than anything.. I feel this year was jsut either a big slap in the face or all a lessons that were learned. Hopefully more of the second one. I feel I have spent this year growing farther away from the people close to me, and not keeping them close. I feel I did alot od hurting instead of laughging. I feel I did a lot of loneliness than having people around. I found myself singing the tune to my own song rather than singing a duet. Which brings me to this, though I know it isnt me, than what is it? I did not acomplish my goal as having that one "girlfriend" tho, I hand alot of gilrfriends I jsut did not have the group of friends that I once had and I surely miss that. I will have to admit I wish I had the friendship that Alexa, JDO, Modster, and Jill H...you know so close. That I did not have. I found myself a many night sitting by myself waiting for a friend to call and all I got was the stupid Credit Card company. I feel I did alot of wonderin what my friends were doin...WHAT RU GUYS UP TO! Inform me!
You know it it really sad because I beleive I might have had one fun entry in this live journal....that must have been a good night.It seems as iff the year got off on the wrong foot and just continued! Though I tried so hard to understand all that is going on with me...but I really got seem to understnad what is going on with me? Whether I jsut needd someone to talk to? a good friend", a boyfriend? a campanion? A fucking hello? You know I really cant say waht is I need to make Jessica feel like Jessica. I feel this year I lost who I was, and I felt I HAVE been jsut an odly different person. Even thought I had SAI and I had OTR 2 of the best accomplishments I did. I dont know if really it was me trying so hard to be friends or to make friends I really dont know. Then there is my 80's crew! How I loved making Sunday night dedicated to those girls, good times as Oldies night!
Another thing I can say is that as I look back boys seemed to be somewhat of a issue..In a sense where I think I was trying so hard to fall back on something, because he had found someone and not Just He, EVERYONE I seemed to encounter had the "it" factor to obtain an companion... But why I would ask myself...I worth so much and I know being yourself is where its at...So why question it? Well in my shoes that is all I did...was Question? That is all this semester has been? a big FAT WHY? and WHAT THE FUCK?
But the summer is here...hopefully we can get some answer...hopefully being truly happy with myself might jsut so be..Or jsut working and making th bucks jsut might be a happy thing (I HEART MY COLDSTONE CREW :)...Maybe seeing my 517 crew just might make my day hanging with those girls always cheers me up! But till then, A year as come and gone and a GRAND summer is on its way....Good luck to all...and I will see ya in the FALL!!!
The one and only JVANN...
Like I said it has been A YEAR!! A year I will sure never forgot, not that it was memorable but more SHIITY than anything.. I feel this year was jsut either a big slap in the face or all a lessons that were learned. Hopefully more of the second one. I feel I have spent this year growing farther away from the people close to me, and not keeping them close. I feel I did alot od hurting instead of laughging. I feel I did a lot of loneliness than having people around. I found myself singing the tune to my own song rather than singing a duet. Which brings me to this, though I know it isnt me, than what is it? I did not acomplish my goal as having that one "girlfriend" tho, I hand alot of gilrfriends I jsut did not have the group of friends that I once had and I surely miss that. I will have to admit I wish I had the friendship that Alexa, JDO, Modster, and Jill H...you know so close. That I did not have. I found myself a many night sitting by myself waiting for a friend to call and all I got was the stupid Credit Card company. I feel I did alot of wonderin what my friends were doin...WHAT RU GUYS UP TO! Inform me!
You know it it really sad because I beleive I might have had one fun entry in this live journal....that must have been a good night.It seems as iff the year got off on the wrong foot and just continued! Though I tried so hard to understand all that is going on with me...but I really got seem to understnad what is going on with me? Whether I jsut needd someone to talk to? a good friend", a boyfriend? a campanion? A fucking hello? You know I really cant say waht is I need to make Jessica feel like Jessica. I feel this year I lost who I was, and I felt I HAVE been jsut an odly different person. Even thought I had SAI and I had OTR 2 of the best accomplishments I did. I dont know if really it was me trying so hard to be friends or to make friends I really dont know. Then there is my 80's crew! How I loved making Sunday night dedicated to those girls, good times as Oldies night!
Another thing I can say is that as I look back boys seemed to be somewhat of a issue..In a sense where I think I was trying so hard to fall back on something, because he had found someone and not Just He, EVERYONE I seemed to encounter had the "it" factor to obtain an companion... But why I would ask myself...I worth so much and I know being yourself is where its at...So why question it? Well in my shoes that is all I did...was Question? That is all this semester has been? a big FAT WHY? and WHAT THE FUCK?
But the summer is here...hopefully we can get some answer...hopefully being truly happy with myself might jsut so be..Or jsut working and making th bucks jsut might be a happy thing (I HEART MY COLDSTONE CREW :)...Maybe seeing my 517 crew just might make my day hanging with those girls always cheers me up! But till then, A year as come and gone and a GRAND summer is on its way....Good luck to all...and I will see ya in the FALL!!!
The one and only JVANN...