I have found the answer is to love You, and be loved by You alone
I am going through so much change right now. Not just the normal change, I mean yeah, the normal senior change. The kid two lockers down from mine left for college last Friday. A friend of mine got MARRIED two weeks ago. Another kid in my class is married. Three or four more are engaged. A friend of mine is pregnant. So much change. So much.
And, it's really been getting to me. A lot. And so much so that I have just been freaking out about everything. Not in a way that anyone would notice. But major stress in my head and lots of confusion.
So this weekend, I was on the princeton review and I found this college that I had liked before matched me really well. The best of any college on there. And it was the only one I have ever been interested in, really. So I was like... God must be talking to me. And I decided the next day that I was going to apply there. So now I've been getting all this stuff together for a college application. And I didn't have anything together. At all. I didn't have to do a senior portfolio like most everyone else. So nothing. But I felt really happy about finaly doing something. I mean, even if I apply and get accepted, I don't have to go there. And new opportunities keep opening up to me here too. Maybe by the time I really do have to decide, I will want to be here. I just need to talk to God about it. Man, me and God, we have this thing. I write in my prayer journal nearly every night. Whatever is on my mind. And he helps give me peace about it. Or helps me figure it out. I don't know, just writing it at all helps me get my thoughts together.
With all this upheavel, I've really been stressed right?
Well tonight God really spoke to me.
I mean. He is unchanging.
He is unchanging.
God, He is UNCHANGING.
And even if I was the only person alive on earth. God still would have sent Jesus to die on the cross for me. And that really means a lot. Enough to make me get all teary and if I were talking, for my voice to break.
And I've just got to rest in that. I've got to rest in Gods peace and joy.
And it's really easy to fall out of that rest. After I was sharing during youth group some of what I was going through I was really put out with myself, because I thought I had sounded retarded, and I had gotten all choked up, and hadn't even explained or said what I meant to say really. But then I realized that I have to rest in God. I put so much pressure on myself, and I always have. I've though since the age of 12 that I've needed to have my life planned out. But I just have to rest in God. He will see me through it. Obviously I can't. Since, my whole planning thing fell away I've almost let things slide. But God, He will see me through.
And He has.
Today I've really had quite the good day. I asked for all my letters of recomendation and everyone seemed really happy to be able to give one for me. Even if I need them in a week and a half. I met two new people today. (If there's one thing I love, it's meeting new people.) I got to talk about books. (I love talking about books.) My Mom is letting me go to snow camp. She didn't even bring up the question of me not going again. (I LOVE camp. It is the first place I found God.) I learned that I don't have to get a special adapter for my iPod to work in the car. It actually works just fine in the tape player adapter that came with my brothers cd player... and is actually stuck in my car anyway.
And most of all, I have a youth group, friends that love me, and a God that loves me more than I can even imagine. Really.
And, it's really been getting to me. A lot. And so much so that I have just been freaking out about everything. Not in a way that anyone would notice. But major stress in my head and lots of confusion.
So this weekend, I was on the princeton review and I found this college that I had liked before matched me really well. The best of any college on there. And it was the only one I have ever been interested in, really. So I was like... God must be talking to me. And I decided the next day that I was going to apply there. So now I've been getting all this stuff together for a college application. And I didn't have anything together. At all. I didn't have to do a senior portfolio like most everyone else. So nothing. But I felt really happy about finaly doing something. I mean, even if I apply and get accepted, I don't have to go there. And new opportunities keep opening up to me here too. Maybe by the time I really do have to decide, I will want to be here. I just need to talk to God about it. Man, me and God, we have this thing. I write in my prayer journal nearly every night. Whatever is on my mind. And he helps give me peace about it. Or helps me figure it out. I don't know, just writing it at all helps me get my thoughts together.
With all this upheavel, I've really been stressed right?
Well tonight God really spoke to me.
I mean. He is unchanging.
He is unchanging.
God, He is UNCHANGING.
And even if I was the only person alive on earth. God still would have sent Jesus to die on the cross for me. And that really means a lot. Enough to make me get all teary and if I were talking, for my voice to break.
And I've just got to rest in that. I've got to rest in Gods peace and joy.
And it's really easy to fall out of that rest. After I was sharing during youth group some of what I was going through I was really put out with myself, because I thought I had sounded retarded, and I had gotten all choked up, and hadn't even explained or said what I meant to say really. But then I realized that I have to rest in God. I put so much pressure on myself, and I always have. I've though since the age of 12 that I've needed to have my life planned out. But I just have to rest in God. He will see me through it. Obviously I can't. Since, my whole planning thing fell away I've almost let things slide. But God, He will see me through.
And He has.
Today I've really had quite the good day. I asked for all my letters of recomendation and everyone seemed really happy to be able to give one for me. Even if I need them in a week and a half. I met two new people today. (If there's one thing I love, it's meeting new people.) I got to talk about books. (I love talking about books.) My Mom is letting me go to snow camp. She didn't even bring up the question of me not going again. (I LOVE camp. It is the first place I found God.) I learned that I don't have to get a special adapter for my iPod to work in the car. It actually works just fine in the tape player adapter that came with my brothers cd player... and is actually stuck in my car anyway.
And most of all, I have a youth group, friends that love me, and a God that loves me more than I can even imagine. Really.