Bridezilla
I'm in a string quartet that mostly performs at weddings. We've had to make a demo CD with the violist TALKING over the pieces because people were using the CDs at their ceremonies without paying us. So today I got a call...
Me=Your friendly neighborhood artiste
Bz=Bridezilla
Bz: I got your CD in the mail, but there are voices talking about the pieces.
Me: The voices are very soft - you can still hear the music clearly.
Bz: But I wanted to play it for my mom!
Me: ::thinking - you wanted to play it at your wedding, but noooooot gonna happen:: I'm sure she'll hear it just fine.
Bz: Okay, so what does it cost to hire you guys?
Me: As it says in the brochure accompanying the CD, the cost for ceremony only - 20 minutes pre-wedding music, music during the ceremony, postlude and 5 minutes "exit" music - is $XXX.
Bz: Wow, that's a lot of money.
Me: Copies of the performance are included in the cost so you don't have to pay us for every copy of the videotape that's made.
Bz: Still, that's a lot of money. What if you only play during the ceremony but not before?
Me: The cost is still the same, because we'll have to be there for the same amount of time. We can't just walk in right in the middle.
Bz: What if I only hire three of you?
Me: ::facepalm:: The music is written for four instruments and would sound very strange with one left out. Kind of like how a car might limp along on three wheels but it's better with four.
Bz: Hmm. ::silence for a few moments:: Okay, how about a guarantee?
Me: I beg your pardon?
Bz: If you'll promise to give me my money back if I'm not completely satisfied, then I'll hire you.
Me: Well, the last time someone tried that, our quartet subpoenaed the wedding video and the judge not only found for us and made the bride pay us AND the court costs, but he also hired us to play at his son's wedding. So let's just call that a "no," for your sake.
Bz: So even if you give a sub-standard performance...
Me: Here's the phone number of the teacher at XXX high school. She can probably put some students together for you. Have a nice day. ::CLICK::
How I love having my own business. :)
Me=Your friendly neighborhood artiste
Bz=Bridezilla
Bz: I got your CD in the mail, but there are voices talking about the pieces.
Me: The voices are very soft - you can still hear the music clearly.
Bz: But I wanted to play it for my mom!
Me: ::thinking - you wanted to play it at your wedding, but noooooot gonna happen:: I'm sure she'll hear it just fine.
Bz: Okay, so what does it cost to hire you guys?
Me: As it says in the brochure accompanying the CD, the cost for ceremony only - 20 minutes pre-wedding music, music during the ceremony, postlude and 5 minutes "exit" music - is $XXX.
Bz: Wow, that's a lot of money.
Me: Copies of the performance are included in the cost so you don't have to pay us for every copy of the videotape that's made.
Bz: Still, that's a lot of money. What if you only play during the ceremony but not before?
Me: The cost is still the same, because we'll have to be there for the same amount of time. We can't just walk in right in the middle.
Bz: What if I only hire three of you?
Me: ::facepalm:: The music is written for four instruments and would sound very strange with one left out. Kind of like how a car might limp along on three wheels but it's better with four.
Bz: Hmm. ::silence for a few moments:: Okay, how about a guarantee?
Me: I beg your pardon?
Bz: If you'll promise to give me my money back if I'm not completely satisfied, then I'll hire you.
Me: Well, the last time someone tried that, our quartet subpoenaed the wedding video and the judge not only found for us and made the bride pay us AND the court costs, but he also hired us to play at his son's wedding. So let's just call that a "no," for your sake.
Bz: So even if you give a sub-standard performance...
Me: Here's the phone number of the teacher at XXX high school. She can probably put some students together for you. Have a nice day. ::CLICK::
How I love having my own business. :)