time can be nothing but out enemy...
Wow its been awhile....Kinda forgot about this till Isaac mentioned it.
RandyFivel: why dont you write about YOU as a strong independant woman
Well yeah...if i was i could write about that. I know that im way to dependent on guys, and have been since 9th grade. There was the one I fucked up with, the one i pretended to like, the one that took forever to get over, the one that i just couldnt explain to anyone. All these guys held so much control over my emotions. Yet the weird thing is it keeps coming back to one guy. And he's possibly the only guy i have ever felt this way about idk i cant explain it. i dont know i promised myself to avoid any relationship with guys until after high school, since the last catastrophe(sp) i had. Thats not going to happen, but i'm gonna try, unless he comes around we'll see. Also, are any of these guys really gonna matter in 1 or 2 years? Probably not, its not still gonna hurt in a few months, so you just have to bare with it i guess, and not let them control your emotions so much, if only i could follow that advice.
So i guess it didnt really hit me that the seniors graduated i just didnt realize that i would miss them all a lot. Kiki, Lauren, Des, Jenny, and so many more. I might never really see most of them again. And now we are seniors, thats a concept i cant grasp. Im not ready, definitly not. This year was by far the worst year ever in school. And all my friendships chnaged, for the better and for the worse, but i've come to terms with all that, you cant control who people are. I lost two of my really good friends this year and i miss them a lot, but it also taught me people can be fake, and you should never trust anyone too much. I guess this year was good in a way, taught me a few things, but next year i'm just not prepared for...
love always-Jill