ugh
I've been jumping around between feeling alright, to ready to cry, to depressed, to energetic, to wanting to throw up, to wanting her to be happy, to wanting to hurt her back, to wanting to just have sex with someone, to wanting to just sleep, to wanting to get drunk, to numb; unpredictably throughout the days since she broke it off with me. I have never cried so uncontrollably in my life. I was taken completely by surprise. I was so oblivious that I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend earlier in the day. God, this would have been so much easier if I had seen it coming. I have never been here before, felt this before or been so confused before. I tried to make deals, to argue my way back in, but it was all futile. I've started to convince myself that we will eventually get back together. I knew this girl was going to destroy me, but I went for it anyway. I'm not going to be able to date again for a long time...