'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy
Ok, is there some sort of law that states you must be on your cell phone when you come to the pharmacy? I'm sick and tired of having to compete with a person's cell phone conversation as I'm trying to explain something important about their medication. Any why, WHY do you have to hit the call button in the drive-thru when I'm standing there looking at you and clearly waiting on another person? There's an annoying little alarm that goes off when you pull up. I don't need you to hit a button to remind me you are there. And I am not a cow so please do not honk at me. If you honk at me, I will take my sweet little time when it comes to dealing with you.
No, I do not know why the OTC Prilosec has been unavailable for the past five months. The manufacturer claims they are out of raw ingredients. No, I do not believe that is true. Yes, the people who make Prilosec also make Nexium and yes, Nexium is simply an isomer of Prilosec. Yes, sixth grade chemistry will get you another patent for the same medication and millions of dollars in proft. Yes, I do think this shortage is a marketing ploy designed to increase the number of people on Nexium and no I do not know when we will get any more in. I haven't had any for five months and I doubt I'm getting some tomorrow.
The bathroom is located on the other side of the pharmacy through the big metal door. No, I will not offer you a moist towellete and a mint once you are finished.
Yes, I have been told a million and one times I look like Elton John. No, I do not like his music and I am not some gay pop singer from England so please stop making the references.
If you really want to know why it takes me twenty minutes to fill your script it's because I spend fifteen of those minutes answering stupid questions like why it takes me so long to fill your script. If you are not satisfied with that answer I will give you the door code and you are more than welcome to come back and watch your script from the beginning of the fill process to the end. No, I do not consider it an emergency when you hand me a script that's weeks old and tell me you need it immediately.
No, I will not consider breaking state and/or federal law so you can have your prescription filled nor will I commit insurance fraud. I've been to jail once for stupidity and I'm not willing to risk dropping the soap again for you.
I do not need your life story when you call the pharmacy. And there is no need to preface our conversation with "this is kind of a long story" because every call I get is kind of a long story.
And finally...
Yes Bert is eating a baby in my LJ icon and yes, babies do taste better with ketcup.
No, I do not know why the OTC Prilosec has been unavailable for the past five months. The manufacturer claims they are out of raw ingredients. No, I do not believe that is true. Yes, the people who make Prilosec also make Nexium and yes, Nexium is simply an isomer of Prilosec. Yes, sixth grade chemistry will get you another patent for the same medication and millions of dollars in proft. Yes, I do think this shortage is a marketing ploy designed to increase the number of people on Nexium and no I do not know when we will get any more in. I haven't had any for five months and I doubt I'm getting some tomorrow.
The bathroom is located on the other side of the pharmacy through the big metal door. No, I will not offer you a moist towellete and a mint once you are finished.
Yes, I have been told a million and one times I look like Elton John. No, I do not like his music and I am not some gay pop singer from England so please stop making the references.
If you really want to know why it takes me twenty minutes to fill your script it's because I spend fifteen of those minutes answering stupid questions like why it takes me so long to fill your script. If you are not satisfied with that answer I will give you the door code and you are more than welcome to come back and watch your script from the beginning of the fill process to the end. No, I do not consider it an emergency when you hand me a script that's weeks old and tell me you need it immediately.
No, I will not consider breaking state and/or federal law so you can have your prescription filled nor will I commit insurance fraud. I've been to jail once for stupidity and I'm not willing to risk dropping the soap again for you.
I do not need your life story when you call the pharmacy. And there is no need to preface our conversation with "this is kind of a long story" because every call I get is kind of a long story.
And finally...
Yes Bert is eating a baby in my LJ icon and yes, babies do taste better with ketcup.