Ummm... Update?

[jbryn]

Yeah, so, here I am... and I have forgotten what I'm supposed to upload today...

Hmm...

I guess I'll post this up today. I started writing this a while ago when I was working at the VA. There was so much downtime that I decided to write this... but I never finished.

And so... Here is what I have written. Posted up for your enjoyment (for the invisible people that read this).
If anyone actually likes it, maybe I'll try to finish.

Passages (working title)

Shining lights, a sea of them. Flowing streamers, beams of white and red and blue. All shrouded in a cloak of dark.

It was enviable, beautiful, exhilerating. It made the heart race, the face flush, the body tremble. But more than that, it was beckoning. A force stronger than any other in existence, it rushed upon you, an urge to go forward into the blinding light, that radiant arena.

And it was pervasive in it's onslaught.

No one who saw wasn't overwhelmed, didn't want to go forward into the energy, didn't want to be exposed to the ecstacy of that place.

It made her pulse quicken and tears come to her eyes as she stood there watching it. It was overpowering, and it took all of her power, all of the strenght of her soul to keep her where she was.

Everyone knew what would happen to those who penetrated into the darkness, those who sought for the light.

But it was so hard, so strenous an effort to stay where she was.

Many of her friends had gone before her. Many of her relatives, people she knew from town, it was alluring, and it had drawn many before her. Her inner mind reminded her it was dangerous, but it was so breath-taking, so mysterious, she wanted a part of it, wanted to discover for herself its draw.

Then she was shoved from behind hard, and she stumbled, the spell broken. She rubbed at her arm, frowning at the person who had pushed her. He watched her from the corenr of his eye for a moment before turning and continuing on. He didn't even spare a brief glance at the sight which had so thoroughly held her.

She didn't know him, but he seemed vaguely familar, like maybe she had seen him at school once or twice. She thought maybe she should thank him, he really had saved her, she really was on the verge of giving in, but he was already far down the road, no longer even within earshot. And besides, she didn't even know a name to call.

So she just shook her head to clear her thoughts and walked on, one last, longing look at the place beyond that low stone wall.

It wasn't much further to get to her house, a small, plain building with no distinguishing characteristics. She walked up to the door and pulled it open carefully, peering inside, her red hair falling into her face. She brushed the wavy locks back and turned her auburn eyes to the other direction, checking the darkness for any sign of her mother.

Nothing. The house was empty.

She sighed in relief and stepped in further, dropping her bag on the floor and pulling off her shoes. She wandered further into the house, meandering through the living room into the kitchen. She peered into the pot on the stove, noting the boiling water before she reached for the fridge, searching it for a snack. She didn't find anything of interest, so she headed on into her bedroom, crashing on the bed and staring at the ceiling, her thoughts drifting again to that mysterious place.

What she, what anyone, really knew about the place wasn't much. It was enticing, that much everyone had some knowledge of, but other than that...

Everyone who felt compelled by its draw could tell you about that feeling, that irreistable pull that tore at their souls, bringing their steps unconsciously closer and closer to the entrance of the stone gate. It was there, to the side, hidden by a wraith of leaves and bright purple flowers, an enticing scent wafting to your nose.

But only those who had not been snapped out of the trance could give more information about the inner workings of that place. Only they could tell you it's secrets. But they were gone, too far away to tell anyone anything about that place.

Lost to the world, lost in the abyss.

She heard the sound of the front door closing, then a rushed curse and knew her mother must have reappeared. She sighed and let her wrist rest on her forehead, her eyes drifting closed.

"Jennalyn? Are you home?" her mother called from the kitchen. (I feel a little weird using this name, but it popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone)

She sighed again, rubbing her eyes with her fingers. "Yeah," she called back.

"Will you help me with dinner?" her mother called again. She heaved another heavy sigh and got up from the bed, stretching leaisurely before jumping off and heading back into the kitchen.

Her mother stood at the stove, cleaning up the water that had spilled over in her absence, frowning at the mess. She looked up when Jennalyn approached, frowning at her. "You couldn't have turned the heat down for me?"

"I didn't know you were gone."

Her mother frowned, a strand of red hair hanging in front of her face. She swiped it back with a hand before turning back to the pot and putting in more water before placing it back on the stove. "I just had to step out for a bit. I forgot some ingredients that I needed."

Jennalyn shook her head gently. Her mother was always forgetting, her memory such that she could forget things which had just occured. It was curious, sometimes, how she managed to remember things from long ago, though.

She meandered over and began putting together the side dishes, a salad and some mixed vegetables. Then she began to make a pitcher of tea, setting it on the table before she moved to bring out plates, utensils and cups. She adjusted the vase of fresh flowers in the center and nodded at her work.

There were three places at the table, and she held back yet another sigh. It was hard, it was habit. It was all just too tempting.

She moved back around and picked up the third place setting, taking it back to the kitchen.

It was nearing three months. Three months since her father had fallen prey to the Darkness. She couldn't fault him. It was very hard to pull away, the temptation to walk in through the gate so strong. And unlike her, he didn't have someone to push him back awake.

Her mother brought over the main dish and Jennalyn sat down, spooning servings onto the two plates before filling the cups with tea. Her mother hummed softly to herself as she served the main dish, then sitting and adjusting herself in her chair. Silently but for the soft song escaping her mother's lips, they began to eat.

It was going to be another silent evening, filled with homework and tv and no, or minimal, conversation. She glanced over at her mother, who was humming as she examined the lettice on her fork. Awkward, always akward now that it was just the two of them.

She thought of that afternoon, of the strange boy who had shoved her, had saved her mother from being completely alone. She held back a groan. It would have been horrible, leaving her mother alone, vanishing from her life like her fahter had. It would have been unfair to her mother, crushing. Silently, she thanked that boy, whoever he was. And she promised herself she'd be stronger, she wouldn't fall victim like her father had.

Her mother finished her tune and at the last of her dinner before standing and carrying the empty dishes back to the kitchen.

"Your homework?" she called as she turned on the hot water.

"Yeah, I'll go do that now," Jennalyn replied, standing an taking her own dishes to the sink. Then she patted her way back to her bedroom and got ready to work. Another quiet evening, and somehow, she knew her dreams were going to be filled with the Dark Passage (uh, so, that place doesn't have a name yet, so just go with all my random names for the time being.And if you have any suggestions, I'm all open).

Everyone was chattering as she walked down the hallway toward the front entrance. Groups of girls chattering and laughing, giggling over the cute boys in school or grouching about the teachers or homework or just school in general. There was a group of guys huddled up ahead by a wall of lockers, all laughing, some of them glancing around at the approaching group of girls.

She ignored them, a bunch of jocks, and looked past them down the hall, and she paused. He was there, pulling out some books from his locker about half-way down the hall. No one was talking to him, no one was looking at him. And he seemed fine with it that way.

Jennalyn bit her lip, trying to fish through her memeory for a name, if she had even ever heard it. She couldn't remember if she had. And she didn't think she had ever had a class with him.

She paused and studied him for a moment. He wasn't bad looking, his hair nearly pitch black and short, his skin pale, his figure tall and lanky. He wore a lot of black, with splashes of dark green. Now that she looked, she noticed the tips of his hair were green, too.

She frowned but kept walking. She still didn't know what she could say to him, and as she glanced around, she wondered if she even should. She wasn't exactly popular, but she was pretty sure he wasn't either. But still, he looked like one of those goth-punk kids, and that wasn't her style. She couldn't imagine herself being seen with someone like that.

So she kept walking, going right past him in the hallway.

He didn't notice her.

She pretended not to care.

And then she was out of the school, walking down the sidewalk, and then...

She could feel the warmth building. She could feel her body begin to tremble and her heart begin to race, adn she knew, instinctively, that she was getting closer. Step by step she was approaching that place, that darkness, those brilliantly sparkling lights. Te area around her began to get darker, the sun dimming as she neared the low stone wall.

She swallowed thickly and could feel her steps slowing, and then she was still, her eyes on the horizon.

And it was intoxicating her again. She felt her legs shaking, and she took a step forward, closer to the entrance. She bit her lip, but her eyes never left the sparkling, dancing lights, and she wanted to be closer, wanted to go after her father.

Then she felt a hand on her shoulder, holding her in place, keeping her from getting any closer. She snapped back into her senses and turned, and she caught sight of green eyes boring into her brown ones.

It was him again.

"you really don't learn your lesson," he spoke harshly. But his expression didn't change, it was blank, statue-like.

She gulped.

But she could feel the effects leaving her body, felt herself loosening up, and she knew the temptation was passing. It was all fine now.

Jennalyn glanced up at him, and he was still staring down at her, his green eyes unwavering. Seeing she had come back to herself, he gave a short nod and took his hand off her shoulder, adjusting his bag on his shoulder before turning and heading off down the street.

This time, however, she wasn't going to just let him walk off. She stumbled after him, and before he had taken too many steps she had grabbed ahold of his arm and stopped him.

"Thank you," she said in a bit of a rush. She felt her face heating up as he looked at her, no expression on his face. She straighted and fidgeted with her skirt. "I mean, really, thank you, for helping me." She glanced back at the stone wall, tehn focused her eyes on the ground her feet rested on.

"It was nothing," he replied, still no feeling in his voice.

She nodded, and this time when he turned to leave, she let him. It was stupid to think too much about it. She didn't know him, he wasn't her friend, she should just ignore it all. He had done her a favor, and that was it.

Though vaguely she wondered how it didn't seem to affect him so much, not like it did her, or others in the city that came across the voided place. How could he be so strong?

She took a deep breath and moved forward, walking back toward her house, toward her distant, drifting mother.

But her thoughts were traitorously still on him, whose name she still didn't even know.

He was attractive, even if his face was always so impassive, so blank. And his voice was nice, smooth and deep, even if it didn't fluctuate with emotions. He was tall, and while thin, he wasn't muscle deprived. He looked strong, actually, and his grip was too. Adn he was warm.

Jennalyn bit her lip and walked faster. She couldn't believe she was having thoughts like this, especially since, even though he had saved her twice, he was sort of a jerk about it. He was cold. And rude. And...

Why wasn't he affected like she was?

She frowned as she walked up the walkway and stepped into the house. Her mother was in the kitchen, her eyes on the TV as she mixed some ingredients in a bowl.

She kicked off her shoes and dropped her bag and wandered in, standing at the bar, eyes on her mother. She leaned on the counter and waited for her mother to notice her. Finally, her mother's dark eyes drifted to her and she smiled. "Jennalyn, you're home."

Jennalyn nodded. "I'm home," she replied.

"I wonder what's keeping your father."

Jennalyn froze, not knowing exatly what to say. Most of the time, her mother was okay. She knew, remembered, that her father wasn't here. That he was gone. But then, sometimes, she'd forget.

"Um, wasn't he staying late at work today?" Jennalyn spoke softly.

"Was that right? Oh, well, I guess we'll just have to have dinner without him. But I wonder why he didn't tell me. Honestly, he can be so careless sometimes..."

Jennalyn nodded but didn't say anything.

They ate dinner in silence again, and then she wandered back into her bedroom, her thoughts still on the Dark Passage and the strange boy.

She couldn't get passed the puzzle of why he wasn't affected by the area, the darkness and the lights, the warmth and peace. Why did he seem to be immune?At least to the extent that he could snap her out of it?

It was hard to get around, those thoughts. And they wouldn't leave her alone. She pondered them while she completed her homework, she wondered as she took her bath, she mused as she got ready for bed, and her mind drifted over them again as she drifted off to sleep.

The result, of course, was a dream. Complex and infuriating and incomprehensible.

She was wandering the darkness, tiny pinpricks of light floating above her, dancing in and out of her line of vision. The dark was overwhelming, so much so she couldn't see her own hand in front of her face. The ground she walked on was unsteady and soft, and each step she took threw her off balance. The area was cold, and she trembled, but all the same beads of sweat trickled down her face.

And then he was there, a pale-faced figure enshrouded in black, black clothes and black space, with only the dark green of his eyes and tips of his hair any sign of other color. His face was still as blank and impassive as when she had spoken to him earlier that day, but he seemed to be coaxing her further into the darkness, to where she knew not.

It was all so quiet the alarm waking her for school in the morning startled her, and she sat up quickly, still feeling sweat soaking through her night clothes. She sighed and yawned. The dream had filled her night and she felt as though she hadn't gotten any sleep at all. She dressed quickly and rushed out of the house, just wanting the day to be over quickly. As she passed the entrance into the darkness she felt a shiver overcome her body, and she sped up, not turning toward it at all.

She still wondered how he had been able to keep the urge from overwhelming him. She thought again of the previous afternoon, and she couldn't keep the curiousty at bay. She wanted to ask him. She wanted to know.

But she still didn't even know his name. How was she supposed to be so familiar with him if she didn't know something basic like that?

Now she was at school, standing in front of the entrance. Students streamed in around her, none of which acknowledge her at all. She was used to it, but vaguely she wondered how many of them were tempted by the stars, tempting into going into that hidden entrance and disappearing? Was the pull only so strong in her, or was it just as bad for most everyone? Was she an exception, or was he?

And then she realized something she hadn't thought about before. Maybe it had struck her once, but she never persued it, never focused on it, but... Was the pull always so strong for her?

She furrowed her brow as she stood there, not going in just yet. Jennalyn couldn't remember. She had passed by that spot so many times over the years, but she couldn't remember ever being so tempted by it.

When had it started, the urge to go in getting so strong, so difficult to bear?

Had it been...?

Her eyes widened as she stood there, the wind whipping at her back, blowing through her red hair tied up in a pony tail. It was around the time her father had succumbed, the time he had vanished through the concealed entrance.

And what about him? she thought as she finally started moving into the building, up to her classroom. When had her father started to feel the pull? When had it become unbearable to him? Becuase he, too, had always been immune to it before, at least, to the effect he had never been tempted enough to actually go in.

She sat down in her chair and stared out of the window, racking her brain trying to remember when, when had he become weak to it?

Jennalyn thought back, trying to remember a time she and her father had walked past the Passage and he had paused, or slowed, or anything, any indication he was becoming weak to it. So immersed in her thoughts, she didn't bother listening to the teacher once she came in, paid no heed to the lecture or the other students.

She just sat there and thought, trying to find a time in her memory.

And then it struck her. Had it been about six months ago, that he had become weak? Was it then, when her aunt had passed away? Her father had been close to his sister, and he had been devastated when she had succumbed to her illness. It had been with her for so long, for years, but it was still scrushing to him. Had that been it, the moment that crushed his defenses?

As she turned this thought over and over in her head, she became more and more convinced that must be it. Maybe that was the key. Her father had lost his sister, and she had lost her father.

It was an epiphany she had stumbled across. Jennalyn had discovered the secret. Maybe only those who had lost someone became vulnerable. But then, in that case, wasn't her mother in just as much trouble as she was? Lost as her mother was, she wouldn't be able to fight it, right?

She hummed to herself as she wandered down the hall and out of the school building. The day was over, and it was almost time to face that challenge again. Momentarily, she wondered if she should go another way, avoid the temptation all together.

Then she spotted him, walking down the street, heading toward the direction of the enshrouded area. She bit her lip, and without a second though, she bolted after him.

She still didn't quite know what to say, but somehow, she couldn't resist the urge to talk to him again. He was difficult to not think of.

So she ran up to him, trying to catch up before he got too far away. She ignored the looks she was getting from the other students around her, focused on getting to him. He turne da corner, and she picked up speed, turning the same corner dangerously fast, only to run smack into him.

Jennalyn gulped and looked up. He was facing her, his eyes boring into her own.

"Did you need something?" he asked, his voice just as cold as usual.

She blinked and pushed herself away from him, her face getting warm. "Um, I..." She wondered, had he known she was following him? "I just..." she tried again.

He turned and headed back in the direction he had been going previously. She followed after him again.

He stopped, and when he turned to her again, she was shocked at the expression on his face. He was frowning. It was the first time she had seen emotion on his face.

And again she had to stop and catch her breath, becasue he really was extreemly good-looking, moreso when his face showed such emotion.

"What do you want," he ground out.

She bit her tongue. "I just..." Why couldn't she get the words out?

"Well?" he asked again.

"Why?" She finally asked him, looking up suddenly and meeting his gaze.

"Why... what?" has aked, the expression fading from his features. She was a little disappointed that he was returning back to his vacant expression face, but she was already this far, had to answer now.

"Why are you able to ignore the Garden?" she asked finally.

He was quiet a moment, just studying her face. Finally he turned and resumed walking, but this time he indicated for her to walk beside him.

Sure, she might have come to her own conclusions about the place, but even so, even with her hypothesis about loss, why was he so completely oblivious to the effects. Even before the pull was quite so intense, it wasn't easy to not feel it at least a little. But it was as if he didn't feel it at all.

"I... It's difficult to explain," he finally stated.

She sighed. Great response, she though bitterly. "Well," she said, looking across the street, away from him, "You must think I'm pretty pathetic to fall for it every time I pass by it."

"You don't fall for it every time."

His response surprised her. Had he noticed? Had he possibly been watching her?

"Well, maybe not every time, but I still feel it. Don't you?"

He looked at her cautiously out of the corner of his eyes. She was fiddling with her fingers, deliberately not looking at him. The wind swept her hair across her face, but she ignored it.

"I feel it sometimes, but it's never had a very strong hold on me."

"Is it because you've never lost someone?" she asked before thinking. As soon as she realized what she'd said, she covered her mouth with a hand, her brown eyes going wide.

He had stopped walking and was staring at her seriously. "What makes you think that?"

She removed her hand and shrugged. "It was just a dumb theory I had," Jennalyn muttered. They started walking again.

After a few feet of silence, he spoke again. "It's not such a dumb theory. You're actually pretty close to the mark."

She blinked at him, stunned. "Really?"

"A sense of loss leaves people more open, more vulnerable to certain things. But it's not just a person, there are many means through which a person can feel loss."

"Oh," Jennalyn said.

"The Garden... unlike most people, I know quite a bit about it. What it is, where it came from."

"You do?" Jennaylyn asked, stunned.

He nodded. "But that isn't something I tell people." He gave her a side-long look before facing forward again, and she could feel her face heating up again. He was good at doing that to her.

"So, um, you know, I don't know your name," she finally muttered.

He nodded. "There aren't many who care." She looked at him with surprise, but his expression was still blank, so she turned away again. "It's Sean."

She nodded, her gaze still focused on the ground as they walked. They were getting closer to it again, that wall and that entrance and those blinking stars of light in the darkness. Her eyes drifted towards it, the pull beginning to envelope her even from this distance. As they go closer, the pull grew stronger, her eyes wandering from light to light.

The temptation was increasing, and she could sense her steps were slowing. It was tugging at her again, her body beginning to tremble imperceptably. Then a warm hand snaked around her shoulders, pulling her with him as he moved forward, never missing a step as they traveled further and further from the area.

And then the feelings of the Garden were replaced by embarrassment. He was holding her, and she could hardly keep her face from heating up. She could smell his scent, a nice masculine scent that vaguely reminded her of her father. He felt warm and comfortable, and her heart raced as she thought how nice it felt to be like this.

Abruptly he let her go and moved ahead, pretending as though nothing had happened. She stopped and stared at him, unsure what to do or say, and not happy about the loss of his warmth. It was then it struck her, however, that once again he had just saved her.

Quickly she rushed to catch up with him. "Sean!" she called, and he stopped, appearing a little surprised to hear her say his name. He turned and faced her, a frown marring his features. She couldn't help but smile. Even if it was an unhappy expression, so long as some kind of emotion was on his face, she felt joyful.

She stopped next to him and beamed up at him, and his frown seemed to increase. "What?" he asked.

The smile vanished for a moment, realizing she had forgootten exactly what she had wanted to say. "Um, I think..." She put a finger to her lips, her brows creasing as she tried to remember. He looked increasingly annoyed at her.

"Oh!" she finally called. "Um, thank you again... for saving me."

He turned away and his face returned to its impassive state. But his voice still wavered with emotions he was trying to stifle. "You need to get over it. I can't keep saving you. Eventually you'll give in."

She frowned, slowing her steps again. "How am I supposed to get over it? How am I supposed to just get over losing my father to that... that..." Her voice faded away and she could almost feel the urge to go back to that darkenss, to turn around and walk over there and just give in.

Her eyes glanced up to see Sean staring down at her, his green eyes boring into her. She swallowed thickly.

"Meet me here tomorrow morning. I'll show you how."

She stared at him, awe-struck. She nodded dumbly at him, and he turned and walked away.

Jennalyn was there bright and early, waiting. She had been so nervous all night, she had hardly slept. As soon as light streamed in from the window into her room, she jumped out of bed and got dressed. Quickly she ate breakfast, the whole time utterly nervous about the day, about meeting him.

While she knew she couldn't call it a date, persay, she was still nervous about meeting a boy, that boy in particular, outside of school, deliberately.

She fidgeted as she stood there, waiting for him to show up. Her auburn-colored eyes wandered the whole of the area, scanning along every person who approached, wondering if they would be the one, if the next person would be him.

And then there he was, in his usal mix of black and dark green, slowly walking toward her, his hands in his pockets at his side. He walked casually, unhurriedly, his head lazily gazing in her direction. She wonderd vaguely how he could be so at ease when she was on the verge of having a heart attack, then she reminded herself this wasn't a date.

He stopped in front of her and bored his eyes into hers for a long moment. She nearly trembled before him, her face heating again against her will. Then he abruptly turned away and motioned for her to follow. She did, hesitantly.

For a while, she wondered where exactly they were going, where he was taking her. But she followed nonetheless, all the while letting her eyes rest on his back, watching his movements.

She was startled slightly when he stopped suddenly, then was even more surprised when she felt the chill, felt the overwhelming pull once more. She looked where they were, and she saw the wall coming up on them.

Sean was looking at her, his green eyes boring into her. Jennalyn trembled slightly, wishing she could be anywhere but where she was, even after having been so excited to be anywhere with him. But not there, not near that place.

But why were they here? Why was he taking her closer to the passage she always felt so weak against?

Jennalyn remembered their purpose in coming out. He was supposed to help her overcome the Passage's seduction of her. But what did he have in mindd, anyway? And why were they here?

She hoped, a little vainly perhaps, that they were just passing by, not staying, that the pull would call to her and he'd lead her past it and they'd go off somewhere else, somewhere far from that place.

Somehow, though, she suspected her gut feeling that that was where they were going was the accurate estimate of events to come. And that was an even more chilling thought.

Then she felt a warmth engulf her hand and her auburn eyes looked down at his long fingers wrapped around her smaller ones. Warmth flooded into her body and she looked back up at him, her eyes wide.

And then he started walking forward, closer and closer to the hidden side entrance of the Passage, pulling Jennalyn toward that place she was always trying to resist. And so, with him leading her closer, the temptation pulling at her, she walked willingly, giving herself over completely to the pull.

Together they walked through the entrance way. She blinked up at the surrounding area as it grew darker and darker around her. Cold started seeping into her, and she trembled uncontrollably. Suddenly she felt a wave of fear and despair. But then Sean squeezed on her hand and the fear and cold dissipated. She looked up at him, and he was gazing down at her, his face blank but his green eyes bright, almost glowing in the darkness.

With his black clothes he disappeared completely from her view, save for the green, but his eyes seemed to glow with an ethereal light. Her eyes were frozen on them, and he stared steadily back as he led her further in.

It amazed her really, how he led her on unwavering. She could tell he wasn't facing the same intoxicating pull she was, and it still surprised her. But what surprised her most was that it almost seemed like he knew exactly where he was going...

The coldness crept in closer and she shivered, and she clasped his hand more harshly, squeezing hard enough to cut off circulation. She was terrified of losing him in this place, terrified that if she let go, if she let him slip away, she's lose the small remaining grip she had on herself, and she'd be lost forever. And the further in they went, the more certain she was of how horrible and dangerous that would be.

And it was then that she recalled her father, and she wondered, in the back of heer mind, how he must have felt as he stumbled along in this bitter darkness, how the terror must have engulfed him, and she could feel tears stinging at her eyes. She remembered her mother, wistful, everyday pretending as though he would come home, everyday repressing what they both knew was the truth.

Jennalyn clasped harder onto him still, her breathing ragged as she stumbled along beside him.

And that's all.

Let me know what you think.