Crazy amounts of things going on
There is a lot going on. So much so that any urge to write is being wiped away, because when I'm not running I kind of just want to sleep.
I had a fabulous visit with my Uncle Mark and Aunt Cathy in GA a couple weeks back. We went shooting at a range (yes, with guns, yes, I'm still anti-gun), riding horses, wandering the GA Aquarium. Had lots and LOTS of talks about everything under the sun. They adore Quin, and he adores them. They said, "You always seemed so masculine. Being a man suits you!" (More on that in a minute.) It was awesome. My uncle isn't doing well cancer-wise, which was rather a surprise mid-week for them and us, since the new treatment was expected to be fabulous. So. Yeah. I love them lots.
Other big thing: Quin is transitioning to more-masculine, complete with testosterone and top surgery. We're switching pronouns to male because, while he says he doesn't quite want to be a MAN, he's more male than female. The gender-neutral pronouns don't work for him, either. So! There's that. It's a big deal. It's a really big deal. Mostly I'm good with it; if I refer to Quin as "him" for too long, I start to feel like I'm talking about someone else, so then I switch back to "her." (Quin's cool with this.) I also out him a lot. (He's cool with that, too.) Of course, right now we kind of have to: everyone I know knows Quin as female, so there's a lot of explaining going on. It's a good thing I only ever identified as lesbian for convenience, instead of explaining my "attracted to queer people" sexuality to everyone. In that way, I haven't changed. It's weird to be perceived as a straight couple, though. I miss the community feeling that being an obviously -- or, sorta noticeably -- lesbian couple brought us. Sometimes I get worried that Quin will get pressured by society into acting more male, and that scares me. I like my butch the way he is. (He seems pretty resilient against this, which makes me happy.) The biggest bonus: no longer feeling worried that we might catch flak for being a gay couple. That's nice. More for Quin than me, which affects me anyway because if he's more relaxed, I get more cuddles and love. ;)
The transition portion has happened VERY suddenly. They say it takes six months or more to grow facial hair; it took Quin one month. We were going to wait six months or a year for surgery, but Quin's medical plan is changing suddenly, and he has to have surgery now to get the top surgeon (who won't be covered with the new plan), which is important. So. Surgery happens in two weeks. o.O I'm playing emotional support, because of course Quin is going through his own grieving process at the loss of his identity, and I'm playing physical support come surgery, in the form of being the driver and nurse, etc.
Also, I'm moving. On the 18th, three days after Quin's surgery. I'm packing up my tiny house and moving into a fabulous house in Martinez. But the timing could be better for all this. >.<
So basically, in the span of 4 weeks, I am:
1. Traveled to GA and back
2. Boarded dogs and did full working hours
3. Did emotional support and doc visits with Quin
4. Played nurse
5. Moved house
And, oh yeah, we're trying to plan some wedding stuff. Not big stuff, but that's on the back of my mind, too. I guess it's no surprise my drive to write is gone, and my energy is low. It's a LOT. I have an awesome support network here, and people are being very helpful, for which I'm really grateful. I'd love to write and go to the gym, but those things keep getting put off. (I was going to do both tomorrow, but then I got word that that wonderful client I love, the one who has cancer that I wrote about a few weeks back, has only a few days left to live, most likely. I told her I'd take her dog to visit the gent who's inheriting her, so that the house isn't new when she moves. Sadly, it's a day trip, and tomorrow is the only day I can do it in the next few days. We're rushing this, because easing Glenna's mind about her dog -- her only family -- is the right thing to do.)
I feel worn out. I was able to take Saturday off and have a "sick day", where I laid on the couch in my PJs all day, watching TV and napping. It was fabulous.
So, life is going well, but it's crazy busy. I keep telling myself, just a few more weeks and then things can get back to a routine... I miss writing. Hopefully in a few more weeks I can start again!
J